by Auryn Hadley
He shrugged. "LT's been doing this his whole life. He sends better than the rest of us."
"I had no idea this was even possible. I assure you, I had no intention of causing you problems."
LT laughed. "I'm pretty sure you didn't." He turned to Arctic and nodded. "Do it."
She felt aa strange shift in her head, but nothing else. Beside her, the men sighed, obviously experiencing something as well. "She's in," Arctic said.
Slowly, the Lieutenant held out his hand, palm up. "Let me show you something."
She didn't want to touch him but knew it's what he expected. Meekly, Sal reached over and lay her hand against his, hearing him inhale as if surprised. Instead of the slick, disturbing feeling she expected, his skin was warm and soft, the calluses from hours of sword work comfortable and reassuring. He closed his eyes and let his fingers wrap around the back of her palm, holding her to him. For a long moment he didn't move, then his eyes snapped open.
My mother had eyes like yours, he thought, followed with a picture of an iliri woman. There aren't many like you left.
Do they know? She meant the other officers.
Yes. We don't keep secrets from each other, but we also don't share them with outsiders.
I understand. She shuffled the image far back in her mind.
"Anything?" LT asked suddenly.
"Nope." Razor shook his head.
"Not a hint," Shift said.
"I got every word, and the location she stored the memory," Arctic assured him.
LT nodded, "And?"
"It's put back about as tight as she can. I can show her how to do it better, but I've never seen a novice with such control."
Sal looked back and forth between them, barely keeping up with the new line of talk. "You mean that was a test?"
"To some extent," LT said. "We can't keep you out without more work than I want, so we might as well see how far we can trust you. And if you're wondering, it's impossible to lie mind to mind. That really is my mother. I'm one of the few here who has met a pure iliri female."
"Oh."
"Now that you've seen how it's done, can I see what happened earlier?"
When she nodded, a tickle in her mind brought forth a memory. She didn't try to hide her shame, anger, or how hard she worked to control her beastly instincts. She lived each second of the encounter, hoping the memory would explain her actions better than words could. Every detail of her disagreement with the recruits Odi and Bardus flashed behind her eyes, her fears, disgust and concerns relived in seconds. The memory complete, the Lieutenant nodded his head slowly.
"Dismiss them. They would never work with our unit, not with that much hate for us."
"Zep asked for the pleasure," Arctic said.
Razor chuckled. "That'll make a few things easier."
"Just don't let Cyno help," the Lieutenant told them, still holding her hand. "Ok, men, we're done here."
They stood, tossing back their drinks, but Sal stayed, his grip holding her in place. As the door closed behind the last man, her heart beat faster. She was alone with him. He could order her to do anything and she couldn't refuse. Being part iliri, he had to know that she was beholden to him now, whether she liked it or not.
"Breathe," he said softly.
"Yes, sir."
"My name is Blaec. They call me LT. It's ok for you to do the same." He slowly pulled his hand away. "You're taking all of this rather well."
"Not really, sir," she said honestly. "I just got hit in the head then started hearing voices. It's just that I'd better learn to roll with it or I'll be sitting back at a desk tomorrow."
He smiled as he stood. "Fair 'nough. Ok, soldier. The next trial starts at 1300 tomorrow."
"Yes, sir. I wouldn't miss it for the world. And before you say it, I understand my place and that being able to hear your thoughts does not guarantee that I will be chosen."
The Lieutenant moved a step closer. His hand found her shoulder, one finger brushing the skin at her neck. "There's nothing wrong with being iliri, Sal. Whether you pass the trials or not, our kind tends to stick together." He tried to meet her eyes, but she couldn't. "Do you understand me?"
Sal bit her lip, unsure of how to answer, so just nodded.
"And I won't touch you again, unless I have permission. None of the Blades will. You are not our pet."
"I'm no one's pet, sir. Not anymore."
He stood. "No, not anymore. You're also not alone, but..."
The emotion she smelled was confusing. Protective? Supportive? Timid? Scared? They were all mingled together into one, but she couldn't begin to guess why the leader of the most capable military unit in the country would feel like that around her.
She finished the thought he left hanging. "But you can't give me an advantage in the trials. I understand, sir. You need to choose the best soldier to keep your men safe." She dared to look up at him.
"Yes. Exactly. That doesn't mean we won't help you in other ways. There aren't that many of us left."
"More than you know," she shot back, her ears flicking defensively. "Serving all over the country. We're locked in cages, chained with poverty, leashed by laws... There's thousands of iliri in this country."
He shook his head. "I mean those who've found their place. I have to protect my men at all costs. I have to do what is the best for them. Not for me, not for you, but for them. You can't hide what you are, but we've been doing it for years."
"I understand, sir," she said, turning to the door, her heart sinking. He was trying to tell her that she'd never pass, but she wouldn't give up that easy. She wouldn't just walk away without a fight. "Thank you for giving me the chance to try."
"Next trial starts at 1300 tomorrow, Private. Be there."
She nodded as her hand closed on the knob. Even if she wouldn't get accepted, maybe she could get a referral to another elite unit. It was worth a shot. "I'll be there until I'm dismissed, sir. I won't be scared off."
"Good. Have a good evening, Private."
She pulled open the door to find Shift standing in the street, waiting. At the sound, he looked up with a smile. "Ok, little one, let me show you to your room and keep the big baddies away from you."
"Thanks, Shift. I can take care of myself, you know."
He just laughed and gestured up the street. Together they walked past the row of cabins. "I know you could," he said, finally. "Doesn't mean you should have to. This black uniform of mine gives us both a little protection that your white skin doesn't get."
"Yep." She watched the dirt pass beneath her feet, trying to ignore the resentment that was welling up.
"You know it's ok to feel things, right?" He stepped into her path, forcing her to look up. "Seriously, Luxx, you don't have to play human around me. You reek of your emotions, and you can't bottle everything up like this. You'll go brerror."
"I don't even know what that means, but it's Sal."
"Shit, right." With a sigh he moved back to her side and kept walking. "It means loner, Sal. Lone wolf, anti-social, banished from society."
"Isn't..." her throat was clenching, so she took a deep breath and tried again. "Isn't that what I am now?"
"No. I think you're just lonely. I think you can't trust anyone." He rested a hand on her shoulder, touching nothing but cloth. "I also think you could use a friend."
"Never really had one before," she admitted, her ears sinking lower on her head.
He saw and nodded. "Well, I'm here, if you decide I'll do. I can't give you special treatment in the trials or anything, but I've always got an ear."
"Nice flat ones," she mumbled, aware of how abnormal her own were.
He heard. "They may not work as well as yours, but they're available."
They walked on in silence. At number 12, he paused, then entered first, making his way across the dark room. Her slit eyes dilated fully and Sal could see the lantern on the table in shades of grey while Shift sought it by feel. His fingers bumped into it, then he fumbled in his pocke
t and brought out a striker. A few flicks later, a spark landed on the oil-soaked wick, bringing a golden glow into the tiny room.
"It's not much, but it's yours for a bit."
"Thanks, Shift. I really do appreciate it."
"Welcome. Your bag's in the wardrobe. Packed between the Blades, no one will give you shit. It's the best we could do to cut down on the harassment."
She nodded, looking around the room. It wasn't much, but the bed looked soft, the furniture would hold her things, and the bathing chamber was private. It was much nicer than the quarters she was usually assigned. When she turned back to Shift, she was smiling.
"It's perfect. Thank you."
"So you know, I'm two doors down in 14. Arctic is next door on the other side in 11 and Zep is across the street in 17. The others are scattered on this row, but if you need us..." He let the words trail off, an open invitation.
Sal thanked him again, then shooed him out of her small but private space. The door barely closed behind him before she peeled out of her uniform. Folding it carefully, she set it beside the table and began to unpack, hanging her clothes to let the wrinkles fall out. Her mind wandered over the Lieutenant's words. Her chances were probably slim, but he hadn't told her to give up. Instead, he seemed pleased that she was willing to fight to earn her place.
Finally reaching the bottom of her bag, she pulled out a worn book on military basics. She cradled it to her chest as she flopped on the bed and opened the cover. Before she began studying, she dared to allow herself to hope. "Please let me pass these trials. Please!" she whispered, then focused her mind on weapons regulations for mounted soldiers.
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About The Author
Auryn Hadley is happily married with three canine children and a herd of feral cats that her husband keeps feeding. Between her love for animals, video games, and a good book, she has enough ideas to spend the rest of her life trying to get them out. They all live in Texas, land of the blistering sun, where she spends her days feeding all of those addictions – plus drinking way too much coffee.
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