“Given by whom?” I ask.
“By the only one able to give such a thing.” It is a horribly vague answer, but the story continues without elaboration. “When the Nephilim felt the weight of what they had become, and refused to change, Tartarus became unbearable. They fled. Fearing for mankind, the Titans fought to imprison the Nephilim, but most of them escaped.”
“But not Ophion,” I say.
“Ophion escaped Tartarus. But I gave chase and slew my brother before he could begin dominion over humanity.”
“You defeated Ophion,” I say. “You—you’re Cronus!”
The giant actually grins and dips his head in a bow.
“It pleases me that my name is still known among men.”
I don’t tell him that very few people would actually recognize the name, let alone remember the history of it. He’s generally not given more than a few sentences in history books or encyclopedias, often as a footnote to the more popular Greek gods.
“And what about the giant with two heads?” I ask
“Eurymedon, king of the Gigantes,” he says. “My friend. The Gigantes, like the Titans and the Nephilim, have unnatural parentage. But they are not conceived; they are created—designed—from our blood. You would call them experiments.”
“Like science?” I ask, a little surprised.
“Science is the word humanity uses for the supernatural once it understands the processes involved. Some would call the creation of the Gigantes science. Others would call it magic. It’s just a matter of perspective.”
“That’s why he looks different?”
The nod is nearly imperceptible.
“How many Gigantes are here?”
“An army,” he says. I want to ask more, but Cronus continues his story. “With Ophion’s spirit freed from his body, he returned to Tartarus, occasionally causing unrest among the other Nephilim still confined to Tartarus.”
“Do they ever try to leave?” I ask.
“From the inside, the gates no longer open to the unworthy,” he says.
“But from the outside,” I add, “anyone can open the gates.”
He nods. “The Nephilim outside Tartarus fear this place. To return would mean staying for eternity. But someone did open the gates.” The emphasis he puts on the word “someone” is angry, and directed toward me. “And Ophion left.” The giant shakes his head, confused by the notion. “Ophion returned to the world as a spirit, which cannot last for our kind. I did not wish this fate on my brother, but it was the fate he chose.”
My limbs suddenly feel heavy and I nearly vomit.
He doesn’t know.
“What don’t I know?” His voice is loud now. Barely contained anger. He might not be Nephilim, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get angry, and as the two-headed giant proved, violence isn’t exactly forbidden here.
Before I can answer, I feel him enter my mind. Before he was simply listening to my conscious thoughts. Now he’s digging through my memories. And he doesn’t have to dig far. The events that led me here are still fresh in my mind. I feel myself transported back. I’m standing before the gates of Tartarus, facing the black spirit of Nephil as he enters my body.
I fall to my knees, screaming, reliving the most horrible experience of my life. And as I feel Nephil’s darkness take control of my body and reach out for the world, the weight of Tartarus constricts me with pain beyond description. But the experience is different this time. I’m not just seeing things from my perspective. I’m in Nephil’s head, too. And in that moment, I feel exactly what he did when his power merged with my own. The Earth’s crust rotated, quickly, causing tidal waves, volcanoes, flash freezing. Catastrophe on a global scale. Billions. Billions dead. And it was just the beginning of Ophion’s vengeance. The memory concludes with my rejection of Nephil and his subsequent bonding with Ninnis.
I fall back on the floor as though flung by a powerful force. My body convulses several times and I dry-heave. I wish I could erase the memory, now complete with Nephil’s perspective, from my mind. I clutch my eyes shut, willing it away, but it’s not until I hear, and feel, Cronus’s heavy feet pounding toward me that I can think of anything else. When I open my eyes to see Cronus above me, what I see is nearly as bad. A long segmented tail, like a scorpion’s, slides out from behind the giant. It is tipped with a curved, blade-like stinger that looks like a sickle.
Cronus’s sickle.
The tail rises above me, poised to strike.
8
The strike comes so fast and sudden that my eyes don’t even register the movement. One second the tail is wavering above me with menacing intent. The next, it’s stopped, just inches from my face. A bead of liquid forms at the tip of Cronus’s sickle-like tail. It’s a stinger, I realize. And I have no doubt the effects of being stung will make me wish I could die.
“Wait!” I shout. “We’re on the same side!”
Cronus stomps his foot. The impact shakes the floor beneath me. “You gave yourself to him!”
“And I rejected him!” Cronus saw this in the memory, but he might have been so distracted by the rest that he failed to register why Nephil left my body.
“You set him free!”
This, unfortunately, is the truth. Without me present, Nephil would have remained bound to Tartarus forever. “I had no choice!”
The tail pulls back a few feet so Cronus can look at me. His yellow eyes burn into me, searching for deception. “There is always a choice.”
“You understand what it means to surrender something important to save the ones you love,” I say. “You did the same thing for humanity. You left and came to Tartarus, but the Nephilim escaped. You tried to do the right thing, but there was a negative consequence.”
Cronus says nothing. He’s listening.
“I did the same thing,” I say. “Nephil needed me to leave Tartarus. It’s true. And I willingly offered myself to him. That is also true.”
Cronus tenses, so I speak fast. “But I never intended to let him survive. I thought he would cease to exist once I forced him out. I didn’t know he would find another vessel. I didn’t realize how strong Ninnis was. You have to believe me. Search my memories again. Go back further.”
And he does.
Since I’m a willing participant this time, the experience is far less disturbing. We watch my life in reverse: my recent merging with Ull, the battle with Nephil outside the gates of Tartarus, Luca—the reason for me being there. Cronus pauses.
“You were there for the boy?”
“Yes.”
“He is innocent.”
“He is.”
“He is…you.”
I don’t answer. Cronus finds it in my memories of Luca. He understands. But then he goes back further. To my time as a hunter. The awful things I did. My training under Ninnis. My breaking. My kidnapping.
Further now. The trip to Antarctica. Mira. Aimee. Merrill. My parents, my birthday and Justin. My childhood. He slows the rewind around age six. My hair is cut in a ridiculous bowl cut, but I’m otherwise identical to Luca. The rest of my life in reverse plays back in a flash, ending with Aimee’s smiling face. He lingers here, sensing the significance of this moment. But it’s not Aimee’s smile or the love radiating from her that has caught his attention.
It’s something else.
Something I never noticed before.
The memory starts over at the beginning. The very beginning.
I am warm. And then…cold. The darkness breaks and blurry light stabs my eyes. I’ve never seen light before. The pain makes me squirm. But I can’t cry out. My lungs are filled with fluid. But I’m not in danger. I can feel the life giving pulse at my stomach. I didn’t know what it was back then, only that it gave me life, but now I realize it was my umbilical cord. The pulse slows, and then, it’s gone, separated from my body. I try to scream now, but the liquid in my lungs is still there and everything feels wrong.
My tiny mouth is pushed open and something enters my throa
t. The pressure in my chest disappears. Instinctually, I take a breath.
And that’s when it happens. A wave of energy ripples through my newborn body.
The cold disappears.
My senses clear.
As does my vision.
I can feel the world outside. As though it’s a part of me.
Somewhere, far away, an ice shelf the size of Los Angeles breaks free from the continent. The snap is powerful and violent. I start screaming, unable to comprehend first being separated from my mother, and then being connected to something so much larger. The memory ends as Aimee draws me up to her face and smiles.
I snap out of the past and back into the present. Cronus stumbles back and plops back onto his chair. He’s lost. And to be honest, so am I. I’d never gone that far back. My memories begin with Aimee’s face. But in the few seconds before that, when I drew my first breath, I bonded with the continent, and I could feel it. It strengthened me. Made me immune to the cold. And it frightened me. The shock of it must have blocked that memory.
“I…do not understand,” Cronus says. The way he has his head in his hands is so very human that it shocks me. “You have been given a most unusual gift, the likes of which have not been bestowed on a human being in thousands of years. After the great flood, in which many Nephilim perished, the Nephilim were still above ground and active among humans. I stayed in contact with humanity, teaching leaders how to resist the Nephilim corruption, how to defend against attack and even how a boy with a stone could slay the mighty Nephilim. On occasion, heroes would rise up, blessed with abilities and weapons beyond understanding. And over time, the Nephilim were pushed back to the land where all things began. As the land froze, they fled underground, nearer to the gate than they preferred and bound by ice and snow. It is then that my contact with humanity came to a close and I believed the days of heroes had come to an end.”
He opens his arms toward me. “Yet here you are. A human. In Tartarus. Whose life was touched by light at birth, destined to rise up, a hero, against not just the Nephilim, but my old nemesis, Ophion, as well.”
I’m confused and more than a little intimidated by the things he’s suggesting, which includes me being chosen, at the moment of my birth, to do battle with the Nephilim. Did I ever have a chance at a normal life? Or did some higher power move me like a chess piece?
“You are not a pawn,” Cronus says, reading my thoughts.
“Get out of my head!” I shout.
“Your thoughts are strong,” he says. “I can no more shut out your shouted thoughts than I can erase the moon by closing my eyes.”
“You can see the moon? Here?” I ask, suddenly confused.
He shakes his head, no. “I do miss it sometimes.”
“We went there,” I say. “To the moon. People did.”
He grins, confirming my belief that he had two rows of teeth. “I have always marveled at the ingenuity of humanity. Your individual lives are short. Just a blink. But collectively, from time’s start to its completion, humanity is capable of amazing things.”
“Like defeating Nephilim.”
“On occasion.”
“You said I was touched by light at birth,” I say, but never get to form my question, as he seems to know it already.
“You believe, as do the Nephilim, that the strength and abilities granted you at your birth came from the corruption of the Nephilim spirit possessing the continent you call Antarctica.”
“Antarktos,” I whisper, remembering the word Dr. Merrill Clark preferred to use for the continent. Cronus looks at me oddly. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve interrupted him or because of the word I spoke.
“Antarktos,” he says. “I prefer it as well. The Nephilim have many rituals; some are affective and give them access to the supernatural world, and our fathers. Others, like the spilling of their blood into the bowels of Antarktos, are futile efforts to claim the land as their own. There is no spirit of the Nephilim possessing the land. And it certainly did not fill you at the moment of your birth. If it had, you would embrace them, not resist them.”
“But what about the dark thoughts?” I ask. When I was younger, my imagination would sometimes veer in horrible directions. If I stood near a knife, I would imagine picking it up and stabbing it into the chest of whoever stood nearby. The thoughts came fast and always left me disturbed. “You saw them, didn’t you?”
Cronus cracks his knuckles. It sounds like his big bones are actually snapping, but he shows no discomfort. “Humanity contains the potential for both good and evil. As do Titans and Nephilim, though we are more inclined toward the negative thanks to our fathers’ influence. It is the choice you make that defines you, not the conjuring of your imagination. You abhor the dark thoughts, as you do Nephil. The darkness has always sought you out, perhaps more than others, but you have repelled it. That it exists doesn’t make it part of you.”
“Then I’m not the only one?” I ask.
“Listening to the darkness or not is a decision every human being must make every day of their lives. Most, like you, resist. But some accept the darkness. Some become slaves to it. To the Nephilim. And while you might see acts of violence in your mind’s eye, even the darkest heart sometimes sees beauty, or imagines an embrace or love.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask. “It doesn’t make any sense. You say that I was given a gift that makes me uniquely suited to defeat the Nephilim, yet I’m here, in Tartarus, forever. What good am I? You saw what happened. Nephil took control. He used that power—my power—and nearly wiped out the planet. Billions died. Billions!”
Cronus’s head turns to the floor.
“This war with the Nephilim has brought humanity to the brink once before.”
I’m about to argue when I remember something he said earlier. “The flood.” I don’t question that it happened. A global flood is recorded in nearly all of the planet’s myths, histories and religious texts. What doesn’t make sense is what good a flood would be against the Nephilim. Unless… “Nephilim can drown?”
He nods.
“That’s great,” I say. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I caused the deaths of billions.”
“Nephil did that,” he says, growing impatient. “Not you. You will never defeat him if you are already beaten in your mind.”
“Don’t you understand?” I shout. “I can’t beat him. I’m stuck here. With you. Forever.”
“Have you considered that, to defeat Nephil, you first had to enter Tartarus?”
I meet his eyes. What’s he getting at? “I’m stuck here.”
“Maybe you needed to speak to me first?”
He’s ignoring me. Great.
“Maybe you needed to come here, to a place where your two halves could be reconciled?”
That’s a pretty good point actually, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m stuck. In Tartarus. With no way out.
“Or maybe you needed to learn about a weapon that can shake the very foundations of any Nephilim citadel?”
This catches me off guard. “A weapon?”
“And maybe, if you stopped to think about something other than your own personal struggles for just a moment, you would realize that you are, in fact, no more a prisoner here, than I.”
I just stare at him.
Cronus grins. Despite his sharp rows of teeth, it lacks none of the malevolence seen in Nephilim smiles. “For the worthy, all that separates this world from the other is a door. And you, Solomon, were deemed worthy at birth. All you need do, is push.”
9
The gates of Tartarus are a half mile off, but stand high above me. Cronus carried me here on his shoulders, saying nothing as he walked. He didn’t say anything more about Tartarus, the Gigantes or this supposed weapon. He simply walked. I’m not sure if it’s the aberration of time, or Cronus’s long legs, but we seem to cover the distance quickly.
Cronus stops at the top of a rise. He looks around, takes a deep breath and lets
it out, the way I used to after rain on a warm spring day. Despite Cronus ignoring all of my questions since the journey began, I ask, “What are you smelling? The air is dry and cold.”
He turns his head toward me. His mouth, which could bite me in two, is just a few feet away. “You still carry your burden.”
“What?”
“I can sense its weight. It blinds you.”
I remember what he said earlier. Tartarus is only a place of torture for those unwilling to change. Unwilling to give up their burden. Like the Slough of Despond. It’s the weight that pulls you under, not the swamp. “But I did those things. I’m responsible. Even more so, now that I’m fully Ull and fully Solomon. I can’t attribute the awful things I did to another personality.”
“Claiming responsibility is not the same as accepting forgiveness. Or redemption. Everyone makes mistakes, Solomon. Everyone must be forgiven at one time or another. Some lie. Some murder.”
I slip in, “Some destroy the planet.”
“That was not you.” He picks me up off his shoulder and places me on the ground. “I have seen your ability to forgive, little one. I saw what you did for Ninnis. And for Kainda. But your ability to forgive is worthless if you cannot turn it upon yourself. If you do not, the darkness you seek to defeat will eat you from the inside.”
“Someone has to offer me forgiveness for those things,” I argue. “How am I supposed to ask the billions—” He raises an eyebrow. “Right. That wasn’t me. Still, how can I earn something like forgiveness?”
Cronus crouches down, but his eyes are still far above me. “Forgiveness cannot be earned. It can only be granted and received. I sense you need to hear the words.” He puts an arm-sized finger under my chin and lifts my head to face him. “Solomon, for your crimes against your fellow men, for the darkness of your heart and for the evil thoughts of your mind, you are forgiven.”
The Last Hunter - Ascent (Book 3 of the Antarktos Saga) Page 5