Dedication
Larry Lake can spot a Keeper—H.P.
For Chloe, Mr. E.T., and Arthur—L.A.
Dedication
Chapter 1: The Big Question
Chapter 2: “Have You Seen My Baby?”
Chapter 3: A Furry Compromise
Chapter 4: A Walk in the Park
Chapter 5: Crossing Leashes
Chapter 6: “Skate’s Up!”
Chapter 7: Puppy Dog Love
Chapter 8: Two-Bit Shave and a Haircut
Chapter 9: Dog Gone!
Chapter 10: Two for One
Chapter 11: Bust into Show
Chapter 12: Two Sides Too Many
Chapter 13: And Baby Makes Three
Chapter 14: Finally . . . the Answer
About the Author and Illustrator
Back Ad
Note to Reader
Two Ways to Say It
Copyright
About the Publisher
It certainly seemed like it was going to be another normal evening at Amelia Bedelia’s house. Amelia Bedelia’s mother was whirling around the kitchen, stirring, boiling, steaming, broiling, and tasting. Supper was almost ready. Something, however, was amiss.
For one thing, Amelia Bedelia’s father was sound asleep in his favorite chair. He was usually a big help in the kitchen. But he had looked so tired after work that Amelia Bedelia’s mother had suggested he take a little nap. For another thing, the dining room table wasn’t set.
“Amelia Bedelia,” said her mother, “have you set the table yet?”
Amelia Bedelia glanced up from her homework with a look that said, Whoops! I forgot! Then she jumped up to get the silverware.
“Remember the napkins!” her mother called.
“I do!” yelled Amelia Bedelia. “They’re dark blue with little white flowers!”
“That’s right,” her mother said. “Please remember to put them out for us.”
“I’ll do that now,” said Amelia Bedelia.
“Thanks, sweetie,” said her mother. “Do we need glasses?”
“Not yet,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Only Dad wears them.”
“Right again,” said her mother. “I’ll get you some water glasses to put out on the table.”
“Oh,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I already got those glasses.”
“Did you fill them?” asked her mother.
“I sure did,” said Amelia Bedelia.
Amelia Bedelia’s mother peeked at the dining room table. Amelia Bedelia always did just what she was told to do, so every glass was filled right to the brim. Amelia Bedelia’s mother smiled and shook her head.
“Good job, sweetie,” she said. “Now please take about a tablespoon of water out of each glass. Otherwise we’ll spill and make a mess!”
“Okay,” said Amelia Bedelia. She spooned some water out of her parents’ glasses. Then she put her lips on the edge of her glass and . . .
“What’s that noise?” called Amelia Bedelia’s mother.
“That was me,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Who did you think it was?”
“If I didn’t know better,” said her mother, “I could have sworn it was a dog drinking out of a bowl.”
“I’m glad you didn’t swear,” said Amelia Bedelia. “You always tell me not to swear. And I’m not a dog.”
“So I noticed,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “But no lady sounds like that when she drinks water.”
“I’m not a lady, either,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I’m a little girl.”
“I noticed that too,” said her mom. “But you can at least try to act like a lady, just for practice.”
“Why should I ever act like a lady,” said Amelia Bedelia, “if I never plan to be a lady?”
That news startled her mom so much that she dropped a pot.
Amelia Bedelia’s dad leaped up out of his chair, right in the the middle of a snore.
“What was that?” he snorted. Then he ran into the kitchen.
“That was me,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Did you enjoy your nap? You woke up just in time for supper.” She handed him the salad and a bowl of piping-hot mashed potatoes to take into the dining room. He looked as though he was sleepwalking.
Amelia Bedelia and her mother followed him slowly, carrying the rest of the plates.
As usual, before Amelia Bedelia and her parents began to eat, they said grace. But then, as her parents lifted their full forks to their mouths, Amelia Bedelia asked, “When can we have a baby?”
For a few seconds, Amelia Bedelia felt like she was a prisoner in the family photo that her parents enclosed with each Christmas card they sent. But now she was actually alive, while her mom and dad were frozen in time. Their mouths were open. Their forks were right in front of their open mouths. Only their eyes moved, darting back and forth. They looked at each other. They looked at Amelia Bedelia. Amelia Bedelia looked at her mom, then at her dad. Her parents looked back at her, then at each other, then back at her again.
Her parents may not have uttered a word, but their faces were talking at ninety miles an hour. Their eyes grew round, then narrow. Their mouths opened, closed, then opened again. Her parents reminded Amelia Bedelia of the fish she had seen on a class field trip to the aquarium.
Finally Amelia Bedelia could stand it no longer. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “You guys look panicked. It’s not like I asked you for something important, like a bigger allowance.”
Amelia Bedelia’s mother closed her mouth, then opened it again and said, “A baby is much more important than money.”
“I was joking,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Was I wrong to ask about a baby?”
“No,” said her mother. “Not at all.”
“We’re just a little surprised,” said her dad. “Asking for a baby was a bolt out of the blue.”
Before Amelia Bedelia could ask him what nuts and bolts had to do with babies, her mother said, “Is your class at school having lots of babies?”
“Of course not,” said Amelia Bedelia. “But the mothers sure are. Last week, Angel became a big sister for the second time. Clay, Roger, and Chip became big brothers this year. Joy has an older brother and now she is getting a little sister. And today my teacher told us that she’s going to have a baby this summer.”
“How wonderful!” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “I’m so excited for Mrs. Finley.”
“Our whole class is,” said Amelia Bedelia. “But I’d like to be excited for you. And I want people to be excited for me because I’m going to be a big sister.”
“A-ha!” said her father. “Now I know what started all this talk about babies.”
Amelia Bedelia nodded. “I’d be fine with a boy or a girl—a bolt out of the blue or out of the pink,” she said.
Just then Amelia Bedelia’s eyes lit up. That’s when her mother got really worried. Amelia Bedelia’s mother knew that whenever Amelia Bedelia’s eyes lit up, real trouble was ahead. As her mother braced herself for what was next, she took a big drink of water.
“I’ve got it!” announced Amelia Bedelia. “You can have twins—a boy and a girl!”
Her mom sputtered, coughed, and sprayed water all over her plate and the table.
“Gee, Mom,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Is that how a lady is supposed to drink water?”
Amelia Bedelia’s mother was coughing too much to reply, but she gave Amelia Bedelia a look that told her she was a tiny baby step away from being sent to her room.
Amelia Bedelia’s father jumped up and ran over to his wife, patting her on her back to help her breathe.
BING-BONG! went the doorbell.
“Who could that be?” wheezed Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “It’s dinnertime!”
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sp; “Amelia Bedelia,” said her dad. “Would you answer the door?”
“What was the question?” said Amelia Bedelia.
Her dad shook his head. “The question is, ‘Who is at the door?’ Just go see who it is and tell them it’s dinnertime.”
“Okay,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Would you like me to invite whoever it is in for supper?”
“No!” said her mom and dad together.
Amelia Bedelia headed for the front door. On her way, she heard her father whisper, “Whew! Saved by the bell!”
How could a bell save someone? Amelia Bedelia wondered. She glanced back at her parents. They were whispering the way she did in class when she tried to pass urgent news to her friends before Mrs. Finley turned around and caught them talking. Now Amelia Bedelia knew how Mrs. Finley felt. She felt like a teacher catching a couple of whisperers.
BING-BONG! BING-BONG! BONG!
Amelia Bedelia’s parents looked up and realized that she had been watching them. Amelia Bedelia pointed at them and said, “You’ve been saved twice.” Then she continued on her way to the front door.
When she got there and peeked out the window, Amelia Bedelia saw a woman pacing back and forth on the front porch. Amelia Bedelia opened the front door.
The woman peered at Amelia Bedelia through the screen door and urgently asked, “Have you seen my baby?”
“My baby has disappeared!” the lady said.
“When?” said Amelia Bedelia.
“Just a few minutes ago,” she said. “I had just given him a bath, clipped his nails, and brushed him. I turned around to get his dinner, and when I turned back—he was gone!”
“This is serious,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Come in. You can use our phone to call the police.”
“Hah!” said the woman. “They’re no help. The last time this happened, they told me to put my baby on a leash. Outrageous!”
Amelia Bedelia couldn’t believe her ears. “That’s terrible!”
The woman nodded. “I’m glad you agree with me.”
“How can I help?” asked Amelia Bedelia.
“Keep your eyes peeled for my baby,” said the woman.
“Ouch!” said Amelia Bedelia. That sounded much too painful. She didn’t think she could do it, even for a lost baby. She was about to say so when the woman took a stack of papers out of her handbag.
“This is my baby!” she declared. “Isn’t he adorable?”
Amelia Bedelia couldn’t help herself . . . her mouth opened and her eyes popped out. She hoped that she didn’t appear as stunned as she felt. Yipes, she thought. Either that is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen, or it’s the cutest dog in the world.
“Well?” the woman said. “Don’t you think he’s adorable?”
Amelia Bedelia had learned that whenever she didn’t know what to say, the best thing to do was to ask a question.
“What’s his name?” asked Amelia Bedelia.
“His name is Baby, of course. I took one look at him in the animal shelter and said to myself, That’s my baby!”
“Oh,” said Amelia Bedelia.
“My name is Gladys,” said the woman. “Please call this number if you see him.”
“My name is Amelia Bedelia,” said Amelia Bedelia. “And I will!”
Amelia Bedelia closed the door and went back to the dining room.
“Who was it, sweetie?” asked her mom.
Amelia Bedelia told her parents the story and showed them the picture of Baby.
“You know,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father, leaning back in his chair. “Having a dog is a lot like having a baby.”
Amelia Bedelia and her mom looked at each other, and then back at him, and then back at each other. Then they both burst out laughing.
He ignored them and kept right on talking.
“A dog is a huge responsibility,” he said. “You have to love it, feed it, take care of it, and play with it, just like you would a baby.”
“But a baby sleeps in a crib,” said Amelia Bedelia. “It has toys and pacifiers and teddy bears.”
“A dog sleeps in a cozy bed,” said her dad. “It has toys, things to chew on, balls to chase.”
“Babies cry in the middle of the night,” said Amelia Bedelia. “You have to feed them, walk them, pat them, and sing them lullabies.”
“You have to walk a dog,” said her dad. “They love doggie treats and getting scratched behind their ears. They need shots for rabies and other things.”
Amelia Bedelia’s mother had heard enough. “Sorry, honey,” she said. “I hate to disappoint you, but we are not getting a dog.”
Then she folded her arms tightly across her chest. That always meant No. Absolutely not. No way. Forget it! “I am putting my foot down,” she added.
Amelia Bedelia peeked under the table. Both of her mom’s feet were on the floor.
“Why not get a dog?” asked her dad.
“Yeah, why not?” asked Amelia Bedelia.
“Because,” said her mom, “if we got a dog, I am the one who would end up having to take care of it!”
“No, you wouldn’t,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I’ll do all the work. I promise! It will be good practice for me before I become a big sister.”
BING-BONG! went the doorbell.
This time Amelia Bedelia’s mother went to the door. It was Gladys again.Now she was holding a wriggly ball of fur with sparkling eyes. Gladys showed Baby to Amelia Bedelia’s mom, who scratched Baby behind his ears as they chatted.
“Can we get a dog, Mom?” asked Amelia Bedelia as Gladys and Baby said good-bye. “Pretty, pretty please?”
Her mother looked at Amelia Bedelia, then at her husband. Then she said, “What kind of dog would you get?”
Yay! thought Amelia Bedelia. This sounded like progress! But it was so sudden, she wasn’t sure what to say. So she followed her own rule and asked a question.
“What kinds are there?” she said.
“There are hundreds of breeds,” said her father. “There are working dogs, hunting dogs, huge dogs, tiny dogs, dogs that are curly, fuzzy, silky, frizzy. . . .”
“Okay, okay,” said Amelia Bedelia.
“To choose the right dog,” he said, “you’ll need to do your homework.”
“I finished my homework,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I can start my dog work as soon as we finish eating.”
“Hey,” said her mother, “don’t you know someone who walks dogs?”
“Diana!” said Amelia Bedelia. “That’s perfect. I gave her the idea to start her dog-walking business.”
“Well, then,” said her mom, “I’m sure she would help you figure out what kind of dog to get.”
“Yeah,” said her dad. “Maybe you could help her walk her dogs. You could take different types of dogs for a test drive, like a car, to see which one you liked.”
After Amelia Bedelia helped with the dishes, she called Diana. They set a time to meet in the park the next day.
That night, Amelia Bedelia dreamed about dogs and babies. Little babies were perched on top of huge dogs, like jockeys on racehorses. A doorbell rang, and away they went!
The next afternoon, Amelia Bedelia met Diana in the park, just as they had planned. Diana had her dog, Buster, with her. But she was also surrounded by nine other dogs, in all shapes and sizes and colors.
“Hi, Amelia Bedelia! Did you bring any of your famous lemon tarts along with you?” asked Diana.
Amelia Bedelia shook her head. “Sorry, I forgot.”
“I’m glad,” said Diana. “Those yummy tarts drive my dogs crazy!”
Amelia Bedelia began to scratch a dog behind its long, leathery ears. They were enormous, like an elephant’s ears.
“That’s a bloodhound. His name is Sherlock,” said Diana. “He can follow any trail just by tracking a scent.”
“A cent?” said Amelia Bedelia. “Can he find more valuable stuff, like dimes and quarters and dollar bills?”
“A bloodhound can follow a smell for miles and fin
d whatever needs to be found,” explained Diana.
At that moment, all the dogs perked up their ears. Then they all turned their heads in the same direction. Amelia Bedelia and Diana looked too.
Prancing down the path was a magnificent poodle.
“Wow!” said Diana. “what a cutie!”
“Are poodles your favorite dog?” asked Amelia Bedelia.
“That’s a terrific poodle,” said Diana. “Do you know the boy walking it?”
Amelia Bedelia was so captivated by the dog that she hadn’t noticed the boy at all. She looked back at him just as he and his dog came upon a group of skateboarders at the top of the hill.
One of the skateboarders whistled loudly while another bowed deeply. A third yelled, “Hey, dog boy! Who’s your girlfriend?” Then they laughed, and they rode in circles around the boy and his dog.
Amelia Bedelia felt bad for him. Those skateboarders went to her school. Tomorrow she would tell them not to be so mean to other people.
“I have a favor to ask,” said Diana. “Would you help me return these tired pups to their owners? They are your pals. They won’t give you any trouble.”
“Sure,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I can do that.”
“Thanks,” said Diana. “I need to get home early. Tonight I’m going on my very first blind date.”
Amelia Bedelia didn’t know what to say, so she asked a question. “Will you take his seeing-eye dog for a walk?”
A curious look came over Diana’s face. Then she began to laugh. “Oh, honey,” she said. “My date isn’t blind. He can see. We’ve just never met before. We have friends in common, and they wanted us to meet since we both work with dogs. He has a dog-grooming business and he’s a vet.”
“Wow!” said Amelia Bedelia. “If Buster ever gets sick, you can just take him to your blind date!”
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