Shit. I don’t want to bother her, but I guess I don’t have a choice.
Opening the door, I see a guy holding my son in his arms. What the fuck?
God, this freaking copier can’t break on me now. I don’t want to make Marcus wait any long than he has too. I tap my foot willing the copier to go faster.
Finally, the prehistoric copier is finished. I need to remind my Dad to get a new one. Gathering the papers, I hear voices in my office. Shit. I left him alone with Shane too long.
Opening the door to my office, I can’t believe my eyes.
“Mac?” I ask as I nearly drop the papers I just copied.
He turns to me and he stares at me. Oh shit. Marcus.
“Hey, babe. I was just telling Marcus here that you weren’t expecting me until next week.” I can tell that he is pissed and now I see why. Marcus is holding Shane.
Never taking my eyes off Mac, I walk over to Marcus. Finally turning to him, “Thank you so much for watching him while I made the copies. I’ll take Shane off your hands, and you can have your copies.”
Marcus nods and hands Shane over to me. I glance over at Mac who looks like he is ready to strangle Marcus.
“Thanks so much for your help Emily. Please give me a call as soon as you know if the offer is accepted.” He turns to Mac and offers his hand. “It was nice meeting you Sean. Enjoy your family.” Mac nods his head slightly and shakes Marcus’s hand.
“Oh, I plan on it,” he says.
Marcus gathers his papers and leaves. It was obvious to both of us that Mac was not happy to see him here nonetheless holding his son.
Now that he is gone, Mac is staring at Shane. I can see that he is studying him.
Tears are welling up in my eyes. This moment is one I have dreamed about since I found out that I was pregnant. I want to give Mac’s son to him. “I can’t believe you are actually here. I’ve waited for this moment for such a long time.” I step closer to him, my movement catching his eyes.
Looking at me I can tell there is uncertainty in his eyes. With Shane in one arm, I reach for him with my other hand. Mac takes it.
He leans over and kisses me softly on my lips. “He’s beautiful Emily. You have done such a fantastic job.”
Hearing Mac’s voice, Shane turns his face toward his Dad. “Hey little guy. Remember me? I read you a couple of stories the last few weeks. Anyway, I am your Daddy.”
Shane reacts to the news by moving his arms and legs like he is excited. “He loves the sound of that, and so do I.”
“Are you ready to hold your son?” I ask wanting to push him a little.
He looks to me, “Yeah, I am ready and when I am done holding my son, I want to hold you.”
Cue the freaking waterworks.
Mac looks around, “I need to sit. I can’t hold my cane and the baby at the same time.”
I point to my chair, “Sit here at my desk and I will hand him to you.”
Mac moves to my desk, places his cane against the wall and sits down. “I love you so much and I am proud of you. It is great to see you walking.” I smile at him while trying to hold back my tears.
Once settled in, he reaches his hands up to me. Placing Shane in his father’s arms for the first time is so heart-warming especially when I think about what might have happened to him. I barely say the words without sobbing, “Here is your son.”
Holding my son in my arms for the first time isn’t something that I will ever forget. I can feel the tears behind my eyes. Silently, I thank God for letting me live through my shooting. I can’t imagine dying before I saw my son.
My mind wanders to those who were killed in action and weren’t able to ever meet their kids.
Emily’s hand moves to my shoulder, “What is it Mac?” I shake my head. I know that if I try to speak now, I won’t be able to get the words out. All I can do is look at Emily and she gets it.
Emily gives me a faint smile, “He is probably getting hungry. Do you want to feed him?”
“Don’t you have to do that? I mean nurse him?” Jesus, I sound like an idiot.
Emily giggles, “I do nurse him yes, but I can also pump my breast milk into a bottle so others can feed him.”
I can feel my cheeks get hot.
I laugh a little too. “I guess I have a lot to learn, don’t I?”
She rubs my back, “Don’t worry, I learn a little every day. Shane is a great teacher.” She smiles at me and it goes straight to my dick.
Emily grabs a bottle out of her cooler bag. “I will be right back. I am going get the bottle ready and then you can feed him.”
I panic a little, “You aren’t going to leave me alone with him for very long are you?”
Emily throws her head back, laughing. “I promise I will be right back. Try not to drop him ok?” She must see the concern in my eyes, “I was kidding, relax. You are doing a wonderful job.”
My heart is so full watching her as she walks into the breakroom. “I love you Emily.” She turns to me, and she has fire in her eyes, “Let’s hurry up and feed Shane so he takes a nap. I want my turn on Daddy’s lap.”
Yes, Daddy wants that too I say to myself.
Emily returns a few minutes later. She is shaking the bottle. I am trying to take it all in so I can learn how to take care of Shane on my own. She hands it to me and says nothing. I look at her, but she shakes her head. “You know what to do. Just be sure to support his head and burp him when he stops eating.”
I know she is trying to give me confidence but this is scarier than a lot of the missions I went on.
I cradle Shane in the crook of my arm like I have seen other people do with their babies. I rub the nipple of the bottle along his lip and he opens right up.
“See you know what you are doing. You are a natural.” Emily says as she rubs my back.
“I don’t know about that, but he seems to like what I am doing.”
“Of course, he does. He knows his Daddy already.”
I look at Emily as she sits on the arm of the chair. I didn’t think I could have ever loved her more than I did before I came home but seeing her with Shane makes me realize I have it all.
I am deep in thought about how my life is perfect when Shane starts to fuss. I look up at Emily, silently asking her what to do.
“He needs to burp. Just place him on your shoulder and pat him on the back.”
I shift Shane in my arms and snuggle him into my shoulder. I start to pat him on the back when Emily starts laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
“Well, you are doing just what I did when I first burped him. You are patting him too lightly. Here, let me show you.”
Emily takes Shane from me and starts to burp him harder than I was doing, and he immediately let’s one rip. “Wow, I can’t believe that came out of his little body.” She hands him back to me, and I give him the rest of his bottle.
Emily laughs, “Just wait until you see what he does to his diaper.”
I don’t take my eyes off Shane, “I can’t wait to experience it all. You and our son are my world now.” I clear my throat. “Almost dying makes you realize what is most important in life, and for me it is family. Our family.”
“I love you so much Mac. Are you ready to go home?”
I look up at my future wife; the mother of my son; my whole world. “Hell yeah, babe. Let’s go home so we can have a proper reunion.”
Emily gives me a smile that lights up my heart.
After I show Mac how to get Shane’s car seat locked into the car, we head home to our house.
We talked about buying a new one but figured this one would work for a while. Mac won’t have to worry about steps and the backyard is fenced in for Shane when he gets older.
Mac is looking out the window but then turns to me, “I need to learn how to drive with my prosthesis. I don’t want to rely on you or my Dad to get me to my appointments. I want to be independent. I also want to talk to Colt Murphy about fixing my Ducati so I can ride it.
”
I swallow the lump that is in my throat. Thinking about him on his motorcycle after almost losing him freaks me out.
“Mac…” I start but then think better of it.
“I know you are worried about me. I can see you fighting with yourself.”
He puts his hand on mine, and I feel the heat from his stare, “I want to get my life back as much as I can. I promise that I will be careful.”
He glances over his shoulder to the back seat, “I have a lot to live for.”
I lace my fingers through his, and he rubs my thumb.
“My Dad is bringing my stuff over later tonight. I don’t have very much since my place in England came furnished.”
“We can get whatever you need but remember everything I have is yours.” I expect that comment to piss him off with his pride and everything but he doesn’t make a comment.
I take a moment and look in the rearview mirror at Shane, and he is out cold in his seat.
Pulling into the driveway, I hear Mac let out a sigh. “What’s wrong?” I ask him.
He shakes his head, “Nothing is the matter really. I just want to be able to help you with stuff around the house. I know that you want to paint the kitchen and the fence out front. I guess I am worried that when I try to do it I won’t be able too.”
I am not going to let him sit here and doubt himself. I open my car door but look over to him. “Do you want to carry Shane in or the diaper bag?”
He looks over and smirks. “I guess I should start with the bag until I am a little steadier with the cane.”
“Ok, your choice Mac.”
I put Shane down hoping he will continue to nap so that Mac and I can get settled in.
Mac is leaning against the kitchen counter when I come out of my bedroom, and God does he look delicious.
“I still can’t believe you surprised me like that. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back early? I would have picked you up at the airport.”
I walk over to him and lean my body up against his pinning him to the counter. “This ok?”
“Yeah babe, it’s perfect. I like to feel your body up against mine” he says as moves his hips. The pressure is almost unbearable. It has been so long, and I want him inside me right now.
I wiggle in closer and start to kiss his neck hoping he gets the hint soon.
He pulls my face from his neck and looks me in the eyes. I can see how much he wants me but something is holding him back.
“Em, I want to make love to you right here, right now but we need to talk about it first.”
I pull back a bit so I can see him better. “Ok, we can talk about anything you want. I want you to be comfortable here with me.”
Fuck. How can I talk to her about this without sounding like a pussy?
We move to the living room. I sit down on the sofa and pull her down into my lap and fuck does she feel good.
Emily snuggles her face into my neck while I rub her back. Here goes nothing.
“Ok, so this is kinda hard for me to talk about with you but it is a necessary conversation.”
“Whatever it is, we will get through it together,” she says.
“Shit. This is harder than I thought it would be.”
I can’t even look at her.
She pulls my face to hers. “You are scaring me. Just tell me now.”
“It’s about sex, Emily. I’m worried about how you are going to feel about having sex with a man who is missing part of his leg. I have scars all over what is left of my leg.”
I’m not sure, but I get a sense that I have royally pissed Emily off because she jumps out of my lap.
She begins to pace back in forth in front of me like she is contemplating what it is that she wants to say.
When she turned her eyes to mine I knew I was in deep shit.
I can’t freaking believe him. What the hell does he think I love you means? I mean why bother right? Shit.
I stop my pacing and when I look over where he is still sitting; I feel like a bull when it sees red.
To make sure that I only have to say this once I walk over, lean down and get nose to nose with him.
“Now you listen to me. I am only going to say this once and if you ever, and I mean ever, mention it again you will regret the day you met me.”
I could see Mac fighting a smirk which only pissed me off more.
“Do you even know what it means when I say, I love you?” He starts to answer and I cut him off. “No, I don’t think you do. I don’t give a shit if you are missing your leg. Hell, I don’t care if you are missing your nose. I. LOVE. YOU. I love what is in your heart, I love your body, no matter what it looks like, and I love your soul.”
I stand up and straighten the bottom of my dress. Looking over my shoulder I hedge a bet.
“Ok, Mac. I have waited long enough. I am going into our bedroom and take my clothes off. When you decide that you are comfortable enough with your own body then come in and fuck me.”
With that, I walk out of the room, silently hoping like hell that he follows me.
Ok, what the hell just happened? Did she just really say that to me?
I run my hand through my hair, a little frustrated that she is forcing my hand. I mean of course I want to have sex with Emily, but I am still concerned what her reaction will be once she sees me without my clothes.
Fuck. What am I doing? Why am I sitting here in the living room when I have the love of my life in the bedroom waiting for me. I guess it’s time to man up.
The walk from the sofa to the bedroom is about twenty-five feet but it feels like twenty-five miles. A thousand thoughts run through my head. What if she sees me as less of a man? What if she is turned off by my scars?
I have thought about how to do this. I even talked about this with my buddies who are amputees. Do I have sex with the prosthesis on or off? How can I have sex missionary style? Of course, at first they made all sorts of jokes. I guess it was a way to break the ice and make me relax. I did find out that my buddies did not have boring sex lives.
Before I realize what I am doing, I open the door to the bedroom and my jaw hits the floor. Emily is standing with her back to me and she is completely naked. She glances over her shoulder at me and grins.
“Glad to see you came to your senses MacAlister.”
Oh yeah, this woman is going to be the death of me.
I walk up to her from behind and get close enough so that my dick is up against her. Emily lets out a moan and turns her head so that I have access to her neck. Goddamn she is sexy as hell.
Putting my hands on her shoulders, I lean over and kiss the nape of her neck. She shivers and I know it’s not because she is cold.
“I love you so much Em. I want this to be special but we may have to take it a little slow until we figure this out ok?”
Emily turns to face me. Her eyes are laden with lust, “You take control Sean. I want you so bad I ache but more than that I want you to be comfortable with what we are doing.”
Christ. She is a Goddess. I cradle her face with my hands and start to kiss her gently. Nipping at her bottom lip, she groans egging me on. “Mac if you go any slower, I am going to die.”
Her permission to go faster is all I need to not care about my leg. Backing her up to the bed, I lay her down. I stare at her watching for any sign of hesitation, but I never see it.
I walk over to the chair that is in the corner of her room noticing that she is watching my every move. I slowly strip from my clothes and I see Emily taking me in. Since this is the first time that we will be having sex since my operation, we both seem a little curious.
Sitting in the chair, I remove my prosthesis. The chair in only two feet from the bed so I know I will be able to make it over by holding on to the dresser between them.
God, I feel so awkward, and just as I feel like I am about to stumble, Emily reaches her hand out to me from where she is laying. My eyes move to hers, and I see the love filling them. Taking her hand, she
guides me to the bed.
Neither of us say a word, not wanting to spoil the moment.
Emily moves over to the other side allowing me to slide next to her on top of the bed.
“I’m on the wrong side you know.” Emily says, and it makes me chuckle, but I don’t chuckle for long. Emily sits up and straddles me, “Hmmm, this is much better.”
I’m instantly hard and I know it isn’t going to take much for me to explode. “Jesus, you feel so good Em.”
Emily places her hands on my chest, “Is this ok?”
“If you move a muscle I won’t last,” I admit.
Emily giggles. “I haven’t even done anything yet Mac.”
“You don’t have too. Seeing you naked, straddling me and feeling the heat between your legs is enough to make me go off.”
She starts to lean like she is going to get off me, “We don’t want you to, you know, not last.”
I grab her thigh before she can get too far. “I don’t think so sweetheart. You stay right where you are.”
She laughs as she bends over to kiss me. “Yes, sir.”
When her lips hit mine, I thrust my hips up and rub my dick against her wet center.
Emily lets out a whimper. “I am not going to last long either Sean. I want you inside me right now.”
It is at this crucial moment that I realize that I don’t have a condom.
Fuck me!
Emily sees my hesitation and she smiles. “Don’t worry, I am back on the shot, and I haven’t missed any appointments.”
“Thank fuck.” She is so tight but damn is she wet.
“I’ll go slow baby, I don’t want to hurt you,” I tell her.
She leans down to my ear, and whispers, “I want to fuck you Sean, we can make love later.”
Taking her by her hips, I inch Emily down onto me. “That’s it babe, take all of me.”
Emily gasped as I sank all the way in, “Hang onto my shoulders Em.”
I tried to push away the insecure thoughts that started to creep in. This isn’t about my damn leg, this is about being with the woman I love.
Rescued Hearts Page 15