by Harper Allen
He was halfway to the door leading out to the porch before he turned back with a grimace. “Nearly forgot this.” From the counter he scooped up a walkie-talkie and clipped it onto his belt. “I just hope Bradley’s figured out the send-and-receive feature by now.” He winked solemnly at Susannah, touched the brim of his hat in a sketchy salute to Tye and left.
“I hope he’s figured it out, too,” Tye said dryly. He drained his coffee and set his cup down, one corner of his mouth quirking upward. “I get the feeling he’s not happy about being pressed into service as security—he said something about signing on as a ranch hand, not a rent-a-cop when he took this job last month.”
“Why exactly were you sent here, Tye? I know you said you landed in trouble with the law, but what did you do that was so bad your daddy washed his hands of you and packed you off to the Double B?”
Susannah saw the momentary tightness that passed over his face at her impulsive questions, and hastily she got to her feet. “Heavens, you must think I’m as nosy as an old spinster lady gossiping at the back fence. I’ll just take care of these and then I should look in on Danny.” She began to gather up the dishes, clattering them more than necessary to cover her embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Tye. I had no right to pry like that.”
“Put the damn dishes down, Suze,” he said mildly. When she didn’t immediately comply, with his uninjured arm he reached over and lightly circled her wrist with his fingers. “I’ll stack those in the dishwasher later. You weren’t prying and I wasn’t offended. I was just trying to think of a way to tell the story so I wouldn’t come off looking like too much of a spoiled brat.” He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Except I couldn’t.”
Slowly she sat, her gaze uncertain. “A spoiled brat? I can’t believe you were ever that awful, Tye.”
“Believe it, honey.” His grin might have passed for rueful if not for the swiftness with which it disappeared. “I grew up with a bigger allowance than a lot of people make putting in forty hours a week and overtime on a factory floor, and that wasn’t counting the credit-card bills I racked up, no questions asked. I liked motorcycles. I liked driving them fast and driving them recklessly. God knows why I always walked away from the wreckage without a scratch, but I did. At one point even my father thought I needed to be taught money didn’t grow on trees, and he cut me off without a penny.”
“What about your mama, Tye? You never mention her,” she ventured cautiously.
“That would be because I never knew her. From the photos I’ve seen, she was quite a looker, which is probably why Marvin Adams ignored his own advice when he married her and skipped the prenup.” His laugh was humorless. “Taught him a lesson he never forgot. All the rest of them had to sign on the dotted line before they walked down the aisle with him.”
“Oh.”
She wasn’t going to ask him how many times his father had remarried, Susannah decided. Despite his offhand manner, it was obvious the subject was a painful one and she could understand why. Having two, or for all she knew, maybe three women succeeding his own mother—although even for California that number seemed to her unlikely—
“I can read you like a book, Suze.” This time his smile, although slight, was genuine. “There were five after the first Mrs. Marvin Adams. Hell, no, I forgot Cheri. She only lasted seven months, but that was long enough for her to redecorate the Malibu house. Six.”
“Your daddy got hitched seven times?” Her mouth was open in an O, she realized. She voiced the query that was uppermost in her mind. “In a church?”
He looked surprised. “If they wanted a church wedding, sure. The way Marvin would have seen it, if it wasn’t going to complicate the divorce later on, why not?”
“But—” She fell abruptly silent. But what about the vows he would have taken? she’d been about to say. When he was standing in front of the altar, who did he think he was making those promises to?
It wasn’t fair to ask Tye to explain his father’s actions, especially when it was clear there was a longstanding rift between them.
“You said you never knew your mama. She must have died not long after she and your daddy split up.” Tentatively she laid her hand over his. “I’ll bet she would have been proud of the man you grew into, Tye.”
He turned his hand so it was palm up, and closed his fingers over hers. “Honey, you don’t get it. This isn’t a tragedy we’re talking about here, it’s a bedroom farce. Wendy Adams, née Halberstam, didn’t die. As far as I know, she’s still alive and collecting husbands—somewhere in Europe now, I seem to recall my father mentioning once. She wasn’t the motherly type, so she didn’t fight Marvin on custody. Hell, she didn’t even press for access.”
His tone was unconcerned. He gave her hand a quick squeeze and released it. “So anyway, there I was, sixteen years old and pissed off at the old man for shutting off the money tap. It didn’t occur to me to get a part-time job. It occurred to me to steal the bikes I wanted to ride.”
What would his reaction be if she interrupted him right now and told him how she felt about him? Susannah wondered, watching the blue of his eyes darken to indigo as he spoke, watching the way his expression changed when he spoke of his father. If she told him she’d fallen in love with him—not with the fallen angel she’d so fancifully imagined him to be when he’d first appeared to her, not with the devil she’d feared when she’d been overwhelmed by her own response to him, but with the man she now knew he was?
That man has his flaws, she told him silently. You wouldn’t be flesh and blood if you didn’t, Tye. You’re a hero, and a more decent man than you think, but you’re awful good at lying to yourself. And because I’m in love with you I can see you’re doing it now.
He hadn’t stolen motorcycles because he wanted the thrill of riding them. The rebellious teen he’d been all those years ago had broken the law in a futile attempt to gain the attention of a father who’d thought that throwing money at his son was an acceptable substitute for giving him his time and affection.
But the man in front of her obviously preferred his version, she thought. He’d sealed off that long-ago pain by denying it had ever existed, and maybe for him that had been the best way to deal with it.
The only trouble was, denying his past meant he’d never learn anything from it. One of these days, Marvin Adams’s son would find that out for himself. For no reason at all, a tiny shiver of unnamed apprehension passed through her and from out of nowhere came a worried thought. I only hope you do before it’s too late, Tye…too late for both of us.
She blinked, and focused her gaze on him as he went on.
“The first and second times I got caught my father paid to have the charges go away. The third time even his money wasn’t enough to keep a lid on things, and I found myself in front of a judge being given a choice between cleaning up my act at a boot camp for teens called the Double B, or doing juvenile time. I figured the Double B sounded like the cushier gig. Del set me straight on that the day I arrived.”
His grin was reminiscent. “Man, I hated him. We all did for the first few months—Connor, Jess, Gabe and me. But by the time our year was up and we had to leave the ranch, there wasn’t a one of us who didn’t know Hawkins had given us back our lives.”
“So when he called asking for your help, you came,” she said softly.
“When he asked for my help I came,” he agreed. “So did Jess, and even though Rosario’s no longer a threat I know Connor intends to pay Del a visit after he wraps up the FBI investigation he’s on now.” He raised a thoughtful eyebrow. “I said we all knew Del had given us back our lives, but now that I think of it, I’m not sure Gabe saw it that way. Even if Del’s message had reached him I don’t know whether he’d have shown up.”
He fell silent for a second. Then he roused himself. “A bunch of tearaways. Who knew three of the four of us would end up in some variation of law enforcement? There’s word Connor might make Area Director one of these days, for God’s sake. I wish you’d reco
nsider what I suggested about bringing in the Bureau on this, Suze.”
She shook her head decisively. “It would be like every other time I’ve gone to the authorities. You and Jess have done more to get to the bottom of this than the police ever have.” She tried to keep her voice steady, but failed. “Oh, Tye, do you think anything will come of Jess’s meeting with Michael Saranno tomorrow morning?”
Jess’s phone call to them this afternoon had been brief, but cautious elation had colored his tone as he’d relayed the news that a face-to-face meeting had been arranged with the mobster.
“Just the fact that he’s getting in to see the man is more than I’d dared to count on,” Tye answered. “I’d like to tell you your troubles are over, Suze, but I won’t lie to you. Saranno didn’t get where he is in the mob by backing off just because someone asked him to. What I’m hoping is that Jess can make him see his reputation as a legitimate businessman will be ruined if it ever gets out he targeted a young mother with a baby.”
“And until then, no leaving the ranch.”
“Until then, no leaving the ranch.” Tye shot her a quizzical look. “Why, was there someplace in particular you wanted to go?”
She sighed, and silently shelved a little dream that in her heart she’d known wouldn’t really come true. “Danny’s going to need more diapers in the next day or so,” she fudged. “Maybe I can ask Del to pick some up on his way back tomorrow.”
“Honey, do I smell a whiff of brimstone?” As she rose for the second time to clear the plates he again caught her hand, tugging her close enough to him so that she had no option but to meet his gaze. “Would that be a certain Mr. Scratch getting hold of your tongue? You didn’t want to go into town just to buy diapers, did you?”
There was a glint of humor in his eyes. She looked away and down at her wrists, now both held by those strong hands.
“I knew I never should have told you about him. You’re going to get after me worse’n Granny Lacey from now on, aren’t you?”
She smiled in resignation. “I took a notion it might be nice to buy a new dress, that’s all. But my last waitressing job was in Texas almost a month ago, and I don’t have much left of what I saved from my pay and tips. I’ll probably just take in a couple of my maternity outfits—not that they’ll need that much altering,” she added in the spirit of unvarnished honesty. “It’ll take me a while to get back to anywhere near the size I wore before I got pregnant, and I never looked like those girls in the fashion advertisements in the first place.”
“Would you want to?”
His question didn’t sound entirely casual, and suddenly her senses stirred into awareness. He was still clasping her hands in his—enclosing them, really, she thought faintly, since his grasp was so much larger. She could feel a slight line of callousing along the top of each of his palms, and she recalled him telling her that during the past week he’d been riding the Double B’s fence line and helping Del with whatever needed doing around the ranch.
All it would take was a light tug from those hands, and she would tumble into his lap. She looked at him and belatedly realized she hadn’t answered his question.
“Look like those girls?” With an effort she kept her eyes on his. “Have hair that gleams like silk, perfect pink nails, beautiful clothes?”
She attempted a little laugh that didn’t get past her suddenly tight throat. “Have the kind of looks that would make a man fall in love with me at first sight?” she asked softly. “Just once I’d like to know what it felt like, Tye. Being one of those women, I mean.”
“Would that be eating cake, Suze?” His voice was as husky as hers had been. A corner of his mouth lifted, but his smile didn’t match the seriousness of his gaze. “You said earlier that if anything had happened to you today, you’d regret the things you hadn’t let yourself do. That’s what you meant, isn’t it?”
How could she tell him? How could she tell him that he was partly right, and at the same time completely wrong? Something ballooned inside her chest until it was as if there wasn’t room for anything else, not even the air that didn’t seem to be reaching her lungs.
She was a plain-spoken woman, Susannah thought unhappily. She came from a long line of women who’d learned to face life and life’s hard truths head-on. She didn’t know how to make it sound fancy or pretty or sexy.
So she just said it plain.
“Eating cake would be letting myself go to your bed, Tye,” she said, raising her chin and forcing herself to meet that heaven-blue gaze. “If I’d gone to meet my Maker today, I believe that would have been the one thing I’d have regretted never doing.”
Chapter Ten
“I’m a new mama, of course.” Pulling her hands from his grasp, she took a step backward and self-consciously smoothed down the full skirt of her dress with her palms. “Lovemaking’s not something I’m going to be doing for a few weeks. But I wanted you to know how I felt.”
She looked away. “The pretty clothes, the way those models in the magazines look? I guess I’d like to know how it feels to be the kind of woman who lives in your world, Tye…even if it was just for one night.”
“But my world was empty.”
She’d already begun to turn away when he spoke. She swung her gaze back to him, and was shaken to see the sudden bleakness etched on his features.
“I—I don’t understand.” She drew her eyebrows together in a puzzled frown. “You’ve made a success of your life, and on your own terms. How can you say your world is empty?”
“Was empty,” he corrected her. “And I might have found some success, but I’m not so sure it was on my terms. If Del hadn’t asked for my help, I would have come back to the Double B anyway, to see if I could figure out just how things ended up the way they did. I’d become my father, Suze. I’d lost touch with everything basic, everything real in life.”
He exhaled and raked a strong hand through the dark gold of his hair. “Then I met you,” he said simply. A smile ghosted across his features. “A few minutes later, I met Daniel. And it was like I’d suddenly found my way out of a fog and into a clear blue day.” He shook his head. “Those size fours in the magazines? You’re ten times more beautiful than they are. A hundred times more beautiful.”
“Oh, no, Tye.” Her denial was immediate and aghast. “That’s crazy talk and you know it! I’m a mother and a working woman and I’m not ashamed of that, but I’m not blind. I cut my own hair. I keep my nails short because I can’t be worryin’ about them all the time. I don’t believe I’ve ever felt silk against my skin, and—and—”
Wildly she cast around in her mind for something to end the discussion. “For heaven’s sake, Tye, I’ve never had one of those fancy perfumed bubble baths in my life. It’s like trying to compare a Persian cat sitting on a cushion with a house tabby catching mice in the woodshed.”
Her clinching argument didn’t appear to have clinched anything. His grin was swift, but even after it was replaced by a thoughtful frown she could still see the humor lurking at the back of his eyes. He got to his feet abruptly, as if he’d come to a decision.
“I want you in my bed, too,” he said steadily. “I can wait. No one knows better than I that you’re a new mom, Suze, since I was there for the event.” He reached out and pushed back a strand of her hair with a light finger. “But just because you gave birth a week and a half ago doesn’t mean we can’t make love, honey, because as far as I’m concerned the actual physical act’s only one way of going about it. You know that shipment of supplies that got delivered today?”
Susannah nodded, and even that small movement seemed to require immense effort. She had no idea what he was talking about, she thought dazedly. She didn’t care. She could stand here all night and just let that purr of his voice wash over her, feel the touch of his hand in her hair.
He wanted her. She didn’t know why, but he wanted her. And even that revelation hadn’t stolen her breath away, hadn’t made her knees feel as if they barely could support
her. He’d said he could wait…which meant that when he thought of the two of them together, he was thinking of a future.
“I lied.” His words broke into her thoughts, but the momentary fear they aroused was instantly put to rest by his unrepentant smile. “They weren’t ranch supplies at all, Suze. What that van brought from Last Chance today was a whole delivery of cake.”
“Of cake?” He looked so pleased with himself a bubble of laughter rose up in her. “Now, Tye, even an unsophisticated Fox Hollow girl like me isn’t gullible enough to believe that. You’re teasing me.”
“I’ll prove it to you.” Once again his hand wrapped around hers, and once again she felt as if whatever he wanted from her she wouldn’t be able to deny him. “It’s in my bedroom, honey.”
Even as he took a first step toward the hall he stopped, the glance he gave her oddly uncertain.
“I know you weren’t brought up to visit a man’s bedroom with him, Susannah. Is this going to make you uncomfortable?”
They had a future, she thought. If they had a future then tonight, whatever it held, was the start of it and she wanted to start it right. She’d told him how she felt about him, but he didn’t seem to understand how deep and how strong her feelings ran.
And he didn’t seem to understand that although she’d been raised by Lacey Bird, she was her own woman.
“I’m not real experienced, Tye,” she said, looking him straight in the eyes. “But I’m not a schoolgirl who doesn’t know what it’s all about between a man and a woman. I was married—maybe only for one night, and maybe to a man I found I didn’t love, but I bore a son from that marriage. Today when I realized I could have lost you I did some hard thinking, and if I came to the wrong conclusion I guess the good Lord will let me know somehow.”
She brought her free hand up, and softly touched his mouth. “I want to give myself to you. I don’t see how any part of that could be wrong, as long as it’s based on something true.”