by Janice Lynn
“You heard that?” Madison hedged. Karen would want a definition of their relationship. How could she explain what she didn’t know herself? They’d had a professional doctor/nurse relationship up until Saturday, one where she’d have thought he’d be hard pressed to give her name despite her having made eye contact enough to let him know she was interested. But he had known her name. He’d saved her life, taken her for pizza, and now he’d asked her to dinner.
But all she wanted was a good time from him. A fun while it lasted and move on to the next before things got messy kind of good time.
So why did her ribcage contract around her insides at the thought of what the night might bring?
“Yes, I heard that and you look guilty as all get-out so you might as well tell the truth. Otherwise I’m going to let my imagination run free and you know how my imagination is,” Karen warned, glancing around to make sure they were still having a private conversation. “Especially since you’ve lost your mind and have been listening to all this crazy modern woman mumbo-jumbo that’s so not the real you.”
Madison frowned. “You’re saying I’m not a modern woman?”
“I’m saying that you’re taking this modern woman thing to the extreme and forgetting who Madison Swanson is in the process. The real Madison, the one I know and love.”
Taking a deep breath, Madison ran her hands down her scrub top. Karen hadn’t been in Winston-Salem, hadn’t witnessed the devastation Simon’s betrayal had wrought with her heart. She didn’t want to be the real Madison Swanson, the one who could easily be walked all over and tossed aside without a second thought.
She wanted to be the one doing the walking. While wearing fabulous stilettos that caused the man she was leaving to fall to his knees, grab hold of her ankles and beg her to stay. Okay, so that was a bit extreme, but the image worked for her and she clung to that thought rather than the one of her having been the one to shed tear after tear when Simon had stomped away, crushing her heart with each step.
“Fine. I’ll tell you.” She gave in. “Levi asked me to dinner. I said yes. Nothing’s happened between us, but if it does, great. Mission accomplished.”
“Hello? Dr. Levi Fielding, playboy extraordinaire and total hottie, asking you to dinner is not ‘nothing’.” Karen whistled, shaking her head in thoughtful concern. “He’s been rather quiet the past few months. Since you started at the hospital, maybe a few weeks before, actually.” Another thoughtful look. “Although maybe he was dating someone from outside the hospital and no one heard.” Her friend’s gaze met hers. “I guess you’re next.”
“Next?” Why did she ask? She knew what Karen referred to. Next in Levi’s revolving door of female friends. Hadn’t he warned her himself? Was she the next Miss Dr. Levi Fielding’s Soon-to-Be-Ex-Girlfriend? Ha, good thing she was already planning for him to be the first next Mr. Madison Swanson’s Ex, otherwise she might think that rumble in her chest was more than indigestion.
Karen tapped her fingernail against her chin, studying Madison. “Obviously, he’s attracted to you.”
Trying to look nonchalant, Madison leaned over to straighten a wrinkle in the sheet covering the empty hospital bed. “He’s attracted to all women.”
“Not true. All women are attracted to him. There is a difference.”
Madison didn’t comment. What could she say? She thought Levi was attracted to her, but he hadn’t kissed her when he’d had the opportunity so perhaps she’d misread him yet again.
“What are you going to do?”
“What do you mean?” She glanced at her friend. “I’m going to dinner.”
“Dr. Fielding doesn’t have ‘just dinner’ with women.”
Wasn’t that what she herself had thought?
“He did on Saturday night,” Madison said pointedly, then frowned. Now, why had she told her friend that?
“Seriously?” Karen gasped. “After all your new persona, you had the gumption to say no? I’m so proud. I was afraid you’d do something you’d regret later.”
“The need to say no never presented itself. I told you, we just had pizza and one shouldn’t regret doing something one wants to do.”
Ignoring the last part of her comment, Karen’s jaw dropped. “Dr. Fielding didn’t make any moves on you? Not a single one? Not even a light kiss?”
Karen made it sound a crime. Maybe spending the evening with Levi and not getting a goodnight kiss was a crime. If not, it sure should be.
Madison sighed. “Not a single one.”
Karen considered her a few moments, letting her revelation sink in. A little scary.
“Not his usual modus operandi,” her friend finally said, still eying Madison in a way that made her feel like a bug under a magnifying glass. “Maybe he does want to be just friends.”
That was what Madison was afraid of. That she was feeling all these zaps, all these over-the-rainbow sensations, and Levi was just toying around with her because she’d flirted with him.
“Maybe. From what you’ve said, I’m not really his type,” she mused, letting her self-doubt shine through. Simon had done such a number on her. Would her confidence ever return?
“Ha,” Karen harrumphed. “You’re any intelligent, straight man’s type. Smart, pretty, fun to be around. I know you set your sights on him from the beginning with this crazy I’m-a-playgirl make-over so I’m surprised he didn’t make a move way before now.”
“Thanks, I think.” Madison hesitated, wanting to hug her friend for the kind words she’d needed to hear. Yes, someday her confidence would return. Moving to Angel Creek had been the wisest thing she’d done in a long time. “But you’re not listening. Lev—er, Dr. Fielding didn’t make a move. Maybe I should forget this whole thing and just go to dinner with you instead.” At Karen’s eyebrow lift, Madison waggled hers at her dearest friend. “We already know we’re compatible roommates and you obviously appreciate my finer qualities.”
“Obviously, but you don’t look at me the way you were watching that man leave.” Karen wrapped her arm around Madison’s shoulder as they walked toward the doorway. They’d been away from their patients too long already.
No, she didn’t look at anyone the way she looked at Levi and never had. Not even Simon.
“Have fun. Enjoy his attention. Just be careful, sweetie,” Karen warned. “Because even if you think you’re a player, I’m not buying it and don’t want you getting hurt.”
No, Madison didn’t want to get hurt either, and it wouldn’t take much for him to hurt her, to leave a crack in her heart to rival the size of the Grand Canyon.
She’d already had more than her fair share of heartbreak and wouldn’t allow any more.
Good thing this time she was the player, not the one who’d end up with a broken heart.
CHAPTER FIVE
MADISON inserted the IV catheter into Mamie Johnson’s arm, attached the appropriate tubing, and taped the line securely in place.
“Sorry about that, Mrs. Johnson,” she apologized, disposing of her latex gloves in the appropriate bin, “but you should feel better soon.”
She punched in the flow rate of the electrolyte-enriched fluid meant to rehydrate the woman who was a frequent flyer thanks to her poorly controlled diabetes and congestive heart failure.
“I’ve had worse,” the woman commented, loosening her grip on the bed sheets. “That numbing agent did help some. Thanks.”
“I’m glad.” Once again giving her patient a visual once-over, she patted the woman’s frail, bruised hand. “I’ll be back to check on you, but if you need anything before I return, just hit the nurse call button.”
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” The woman picked up her remote control and flicked through television stations, pausing on a daytime talk show about women who slept with their sister’s husbands.
“You get ’er, girl,” Mrs. Johnson urged the betrayed wife, who was giving her sister her comeuppance.
Madison bit back a smile at her patient’s fist waving in the
air. At least the elderly woman was finally showing some interest in something. Assured that her patient wasn’t in distress, she went to check on her next patient.
Her cellphone beeped in her scrub top pocket, indicating a text message. When she checked the message, she saw it was from Levi. Canceling their plans for dinner. Something unexpected had come up and he was no longer free for the evening. Could he please have a rain-check? Her vision darkened, flashbacks to Simon canceling their plans, often by an impersonal text message, hit her hard.
Slipping her cell back into her pocket, Madison sighed.
Could Levi have a rain-check? No, she wasn’t so sure he could. She wasn’t going to ride this emotional roller-coaster.
If she was the player, shouldn’t she be the one canceling plans? Not the one feeling utterly disappointed that he’d called off dinner? And she was feeling utterly disappointed, which was so un-player-like.
Continuing to see Levi was asking for pain down the road, pain that once again made her the victim. It was a given. If she spent time with Levi, she would end up hurt, but perhaps the ride there would be worth whatever pain she endured? After all, the man did it for her. As in one look at him and she wanted to take a long, long drink to quench a thirst she hadn’t even known she’d had.
Still, even if she was a lousy player—hey, she was new at this player thing—she didn’t want to be someone’s rain-check girl. Somebody’s victim. Didn’t she deserve better than a text message canceling their plans? Maybe she was technologically challenged, but she just didn’t see a text message as an appropriate way to cancel a date—if dinner had been going to be a date.
Yes, she deserved much better than that, and she was going to tell him so.
On Friday morning, Madison saved Mr. Ridge for last, hoping Levi would be finished making his rounds when she went in to take his vitals. She’d barely seen him, just a few glimpses here and there since Monday.
Brief glimpses because she’d done her best to avoid him, had even swapped his patients to another nurse. Mr. Ridge had been the only one of Levi’s patients she hadn’t traded off.
Levi hadn’t responded to her text that she preferred a man to call her to cancel dinner plans and that if he couldn’t pay her that courtesy, then, no, he couldn’t have a rain-check.
No text message. No phone call. Nothing.
She’d considered texting him to say that she also preferred a man who didn’t ignore her messages, but she’d refrained. What would be the point? It wasn’t as if he’d ever cash in that rain-check now, but she’d made her point. She wasn’t a doormat waiting for some man to wipe his muddy boots on her.
Not even one as gorgeous as Levi. Even if he had saved her life. And been the best company ever at the pizza parlor. And was so gorgeous that just looking at him made her thighs clench together.
Speaking of thigh-clenchers, Levi was in the room with his patient and Mr. Ridge’s daughter. Great. She should have taken a while longer before checking on Mr. Ridge.
No, she needed to take care of her patient. Even if that meant coming face to face with the man she most wanted to avoid.
Wanted to avoid because deep down she wanted nothing more than to soak in every aspect of the hunky doctor before her.
She forced her gaze to assess her patient first, then turned to his daughter. The fiftyish woman looked tired from her stay of more than a week with her father at the hospital, but fortunately the feeble-appearing man had improved tremendously since his downturn on Monday.
“I’m so glad you’ll be taking care of Dad today.” She smiled wanly when her gaze met Madison’s. “I was worried it might be your day off. Dad responds better to you than the other nurses.”
“Thank you.” Since Levi was examining Mr. Ridge, Madison checked the IV pump, making a mental note of when a new bag of fluids would be needed. “He’s seen me more than the other nurses. That’s why he responds better to me.”
“Possibly,” the woman agreed, “but he asks where that pretty blonde nurse is when someone else comes in. He’s quite taken with you.”
Madison smiled, let her gaze cut to the man she wanted to be quite taken with her. He wore navy scrubs with a white T-shirt peeking out through the V at his throat. He’d paused from checking Mr. Ridge and was watching her. He even had the gall to smile when their gazes met.
Smiled as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t sent his text, as if she hadn’t sent her text, as if he was quite taken with her for real.
Wowzars. No matter how frustrated she was with him, the man did it for her. Big time. Oh, yeah, she wanted Levi taken with her. Definitely, she wanted to be taken by him. As in, Take me, Levi. Take me now!
Or maybe she should just take what she wanted. Take him. Take him now. She was the player now and it was time the world—Levi, in particular—took note of that fact.
“Can’t say I blame you.” Levi’s gaze didn’t leave hers. “If I was in the hospital, I’d want Madison as my nurse, too.”
Interesting. He was flirting with her again. But wasn’t flirting supposed to lead somewhere? He’d had opportunity to kiss her and hadn’t. Then he’d broken their plans on Monday and hadn’t responded to her text. Which meant what exactly?
She shot him a smile so sweet he’d need to schedule an appointment with his dentist to avoid decay. “I’ll be sure to let Administration know, Dr. Fielding, so if you’re ever admitted, they’ll get assignments correct and I can do your enemas.”
And his sponge bath.
She gulped, trying to prevent the image of her sponge-bathing Levi from taking over every last brain cell in her possession. Too late. He’d be the cleanest man on the medical floor. Her lips twitched at the thought. As did other, lower, body parts.
“You do that, Madison.” He laughed, not seeming to take offense in the slightest, then turned back to Mr. Ridge. “Your lungs are sounding much better than earlier this week. Amazing the difference time and proper care makes.” He shot Madison a quick glance, then patted Mr. Ridge’s hand. “If you keep improving this way, you’ll be able to go home in a couple of days and won’t have to endure any more of Madison’s enemas.”
Mr. Ridge gave a toothless smile, his dentures in a cup on the table next to his bed. “Ain’t had no enema, but going home would be good. I miss my dog.”
Levi nodded as if he understood and Madison wondered if he had any pets. During dinner on Saturday night he hadn’t revealed much about himself. Oh, he’d answered questions and talked, but when she really thought about his answers, they’d been general, vague, non-revealing. Unlike her gluttony of Madison Swanson’s fun-filled, non-stop broadcast prior to him practically forcing her into her car.
No kiss. No going to second base. No home run. Definitely, no grand slam. Levi was a known playboy. If he’d wanted to kiss her on Saturday night, he would have.
And then some.
All he had to do was smile and women came running out of the woodwork like hungry ants at a picnic.
Which made her what? Just another ant lining up to chase after his sugary goodness?
Pathetic.
She really should just forget about the man. Move on. If only there was someone else she wanted.
Madison recorded Mr. Ridge’s vitals, stood and talked to his daughter for a few moments, doing her best to ignore Levi’s gaze on her more than once while he chatted with their patient. When she turned to go, she waved at the elderly man lying in the hospital bed. His wise old blue eyes watched her curiously and she wondered if he’d picked up on the sparks between her and his doctor.
“I’ll see you later,” she promised the older man she’d taken to, and purposely avoided looking at Levi.
Otherwise she just might really take the good doctor. Take him by dragging him into an empty patient room and having her way with him. Just take him and take him now.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Karen mused when Madison returned to the nurses’ station. “I guess you ran into you know who. I was watching for you
so I could warn you, but got called to help Tanya in Room 214.”
Not wanting to discuss Levi, or even to think about him, Madison absently nodded. “He’ll discharge Mr. Ridge in a couple of days. He’s really come a long way since Monday when his aspiration pneumonia was diagnosed.”
“Yeah, thank goodness.” Karen smiled, clearly not fooled by Madison’s intentional steering of the conversation away from Levi. “But if you hadn’t caught the change in his breathing as early as you did, he might not be here now.”
Grateful Karen was giving her a pass, Madison shrugged. “Any of Angel Creek’s nurses would have done the same.”
“Still, you’re an asset to the hospital, Madison. An asset to any man smart enough to recognize your finer qualities, too, in spite of this crazy personality make-over you think you need,” Karen added with a serious smile. “Did he talk to you?”
Her personality make-over wasn’t crazy. Necessity wasn’t crazy. “We talked about Mr. Ridge.”
“That’s it?” Karen’s face squished up. “Still no mention of your text message?”
“We were in the patient’s room with his daughter present. You expected me to ask him why he took me to dinner on Saturday and asked me again on Monday only to cancel with an impersonal text message?” Madison sighed, trying to keep her tone light, to keep her hurt hidden deep within her. “It’s obvious he changed his mind, that’s all. No big deal.”
And if he’d changed his mind again? Was she really willing to let him dictate all the terms of their relationship? To just be agreeable to whatever he dished out? Hot or cold? No, she wasn’t. The old Madison had dealt with that daily with Simon. The new Madison kicked butt and took names. Next.
“You talking about how Dr. Fielding saved your life again?” Melinda, a nursing assistant, asked, walking by and sighing appreciatively. “What a man!”
All week her co-workers had commented on how Levi had saved her, how he’d taken charge and swept her off her feet. All week Madison had been pretending the whole incident was no big deal. If only she could make herself believe her words.