by Dave Pelzer
A couple of months later I received a telephone call from David, who said he wanted to visit. I said, “No, I have to go up to San Francisco International to pick up my paycheck.” “Great,” he says, “I’ll drive you up there. I want to show you something.” What he wanted to show me was, of course, a black Corvette that he was the owner/operator of for the next month. A few months later David arrives in an El Camino—his company car—with a motorcycle strapped to the back. Dave mentioned that he might try a new job. I asked what he was planning, and he replied, “Well, I’m going to Hollywood to become a stuntman.” There was what a writer would describe as a pregnant pause, as the impact of his words crashed into my unbelieving psyche. I chastised him, focusing on his lack of athletics and experience, his clumsiness and, of course, the absence of contacts in L.A. I then ripped into him for another half hour with heavy emphasis on the importance of a high school diploma.
Months later, although wounded, David was considering another plan. He wanted to go into the military. So we went to the recruiters and began watching videos of paratroopers and rangers. They, of course, looked good. To the United States Army, however, David didn’t. No diploma? Sorry. Perhaps it took that letdown for the importance of a high school diploma to sink into David’s concrete-thick head. He called me a few weeks after and said, “I’m in! The Air Force will take me and get me a G.E.D.” He had pursued it on his own and was finally going out into the world. I was gratified, hopeful and proud of him for getting down to personal pragmatics, so to speak.
Shortly after David joined the Air Force, we moved to Denver, Colorado. David had stayed in touch and ended up training at Lowry Air Force Base in Denver. He was there to visit the first week we were in our new home. He subsequently went to Florida and was unhappy with his assignment— which was cooking. I counseled patience, and he ultimately made the best of an unhappy assignment by finessing his way into cooking for the Ranger School candidates stationed in the jungle/ swamp phase of the Army Ranger program in Florida. Then he finagled a slot in the Army Parachute School, known as the Airborne Course, and on receiving his silver jump wings, became a member of an extraordinarily proud fraternity.
Then once again David persisted and ultimately found a niche: boom operator on an aerial tanker! He landed an assignment “booming” on the supersecret Mach 3 spy plane—the SR-71 Black -bird. He was hooked for years. During this period he became involved in the community around him, on and off base. His awareness of what he had and who he was brought to the surface a drive within him to diminish other people’s hurts, to wade in and solve problems, and to contribute some positive payback.
In January 1993 I sat in the Center for the Performing Arts in Tulsa, Oklahoma, as David received an honor. He was out of the Air Force and had not just moved on, but moved forward. On this evening, which was actually the culmination of a week’s festivities, David was being honored as one of the Ten Outstanding Young Americans in the United States by the National Junior Chamber of Commerce organization. The list of previous recipients reads like a Who’s Who of American industry, politics and society. And there he was, David, the wannabe stuntman, who had pulled off the Big One, and had done it with determination, guts and resolve, and maybe a little luck. I’m proud of who you were, David—that hurt person who refused to “die.” And I’m more proud of who you’ve become—a caring, giving, fixing person, the guy with the same sense of humor and that deft, sensitive touch. Good on you, David. I love you.
Resources for Help
The National Association of Social Workers constitutes 50 percent of the nation’s social workers. With various degrees in social work, social workers in general work directly with individuals and families, at times in dire circumstances, resolving issues such as health problems, substance abuse, disabilities, poverty and violence. Child protective social workers tread a fine line of saving children while maintaining the fabric of society.* For more information, please write 750 First St. NE, Suite 700, Washington, D.C. 20002 or call 800-638-8799.
The National Court Appointed Special Advocate Association (CASA) is composed of specially trained volunteers who are appointed by a judge to speak on behalf of abused and neglected children in court. By reviewing records, collecting information from parents, teachers, family members and the child, CASA’s unique services enable judges to make informed decisions regarding the best interests of the child. For more information, please write 100 West St., North Tower, Suite 500, Seattle, WA 98119 or call 800-628-3233.
The National Foster Parent Association is the national voice for foster parents. NFPA strengthens foster families through nationally focused legislative advocacy, training and education, publications, and linkages among foster parents, state and local foster parent associations, and child welfare organizations. Help save a life by loving a child. For more information, call the NFPA Information and Services Office at 800-557-5238.
Parents Anonymous, Inc., is the nation’s oldest and largest child abuse prevention program dedicated to strengthening families through innovative strategies that promote mutual support and parent leadership. As the nation’s premier family strengthening program, Parents Anonymous encourages parents to ask for help early—whatever their circumstances—to effectively break the cycle of abuse to protect today’s children and strengthen tomorrow’s generation of parents. Annually, more than 100,000 parents and their children come together in more than 2,300 Parents Anonymous groups throughout the United States to learn new skills, transform their attitudes and behaviors, and create long-term positive changes in their lives. Parents Anonymous builds on the strengths of parents to ensure that children live and grow in safe, nurturing homes by offering families help today and hope for the future. For more information or to locate a Parents Anonymous group in your community, please contact Parents Anonymous, Inc., at 909-621-6184.
The Arrow Project (TAP) is a Christian, nonprofit agency that serves communities by promoting and enhancing the well-being of children and families through preventive, supportive and therapeutic services. Through various programs including therapeutic foster care, diagnostic assessments and alternative education, the agency supports over 1,000 children annually in more than 300 foster homes and other facilities in Texas and Maryland. TAP solicits the support of individuals and corporations nationally to assist them in “fighting the battle for our kids.” TAP believes in Psalm 127, that “children are a gift of the Lord, like arrows in the hand of a warrior.” For more information, please write 350 N. Sam Houston Parkway, Suite 101, Houston, Texas 77069, or call toll free 877-92ARROW.
*Author’s perspective.
About the Author
A retired Air Force air crew member, Dave played a major role in Operations Just Cause, Desert Shield and Desert Storm. Dave was selected for the unique task of midair refueling of the then highly secretive SR-71 Blackbird and F-117 Stealth Fighter. While serving in the Air Force, Dave worked in juvenile hall and other programs involving “youth at risk” throughout California.
Dave’s exceptional accomplishments include personal commendations from former Presidents Ronald Reagan and George Bush. While maintaining a rigorous, active-duty flight schedule, Dave was the recipient of the 1990 J.C. Penney Golden Rule Award, making him the California Volunteer of the Year. In 1993 Dave was honored as one of the Ten Outstanding Young Americans (TOYA), joining a distinguished group of alumni that includes Chuck Yeager, Christopher Reeve, Anne Bancroft, John F. Kennedy, Orson Welles and Walt Disney. In 1994 Dave was the only American to be selected as one of The Outstanding Young Persons of the World (TOYP), for his efforts involving child abuse awareness and prevention, as well as for instilling resilience in others. During the Centennial Olympic Games, Dave was a torchbearer, carrying the coveted flame.
Dave is currently working on a book based on overcoming obstacles and achieving one’s innermost best, and recently published the third part of his trilogy, entitled A Man Named Dave.
When not on the road or with his son, Step
hen, Dave lives a quiet life in Rancho Mirage, California, with his wife and box turtle named Chuck.
Keynotes,
Workshops and
School Assemblies
Dave is recognized as one of the country’s most effective and respected communicators addressing corporate America. Dave is often dubbed “the Robin Williams with glasses,” and his unique presentations and delivery target overcoming obstacles, positive self-esteem and goal achievement. Addition ally, he provides specific workshops for those in the human services, educational and law enforcement fields. Dave also spends time working with “youth at risk,” and junior high and high school assemblies, as well as presenting programs on child abuse prevention, drug and alcohol awareness, and personal responsibility.
For additional information on Dave’s programs, write or call:
D-ESPRIT
P.O. Box 1846
Rancho Mirage, CA 92270
Phone: 760-321-4452
Fax: 760-321-6842
Web site: www.davepelzer.com