He had a job with benefits.
She no longer had to worry about providing health insurance for her unborn child.
* * *
EARLY MONDAY MORNING, before work, Josh called Sara, Michelle’s caregiver. It was the first time he’d spoken with her since she’d told him not to call.
“Good morning, Mr. Redmond.”
“Good morning, Sara,” he said as though they still talked every day. “How is she?”
“The same. No better, no worse.”
He’d known that would be the case. Sara would have called him if there’d been any change.
Michelle wasn’t going to change. She wasn’t going to come back to the world, laugh out loud, drink wine...or have children.
By what right could he?
“Let me know if there’s anything she needs, Sara. Anything that I can do to make her more comfortable or—”
“The fresh flowers you ordered to be delivered every morning are nice. I really think she likes them.”
So did he. On some basic level Michelle was still with them and she’d always been drawn to gardens.
And he had a thought...
“Sara, I’d like to call Dr. Humboldt and see what he thinks about an outing.” Michelle’s attending physician hadn’t expected her to hold on long after she’d been released from the hospital. Plans had been made in the short-term. But it had been months and nothing had changed. “If he agrees, would you be willing to accompany her? I’d buy a van and a chair and hire someone to drive and handle pushing the chair around. I’ll give you money to hire a medical technician to assist with her apparatus....”
He was making it up as he went along, considering what the idea would entail, but knew that the idea was a good one.
“Where would we take her, sir?”
“Gardens,” Josh said, his mind whirling to all of the places he’d been in the world, and places Michelle had said she’d wanted to visit.
“She loved the Arnold Arboretum there in Boston,” he said. He knew because he’d attended a fund-raiser there with her and had been impatient to get to the alcohol trays while she’d been taking forever looking at plants from the 1800s. “It’s open year-round.”
And there was Boston Public Garden. “There’s a garden someplace by Cape Cod that’s known for daylilies.” He’d been too much in a hurry to get wherever he’d been going when Michelle had mentioned wanting to stop there. “I know winter is coming fast, but if she does well, you can take her farther. Maybe even to Florida. Would you be willing to go to Florida, Sara, if I hire enough people to help you?”
“I’d go to Florida if it was just me and her and the driver,” Sara said. “But you don’t have to do this. She’s going to be the same here, in Florida, or anywhere else.”
“We don’t know that for sure, Sara. Maybe she’s more aware than we think. And if you don’t mind going with her, what can it hurt?”
Unless the doctor said it wasn’t a good idea.
“We thought she was going to be gone by now when we first made our plans,” he said. “It’s clear she’s got the will to live and I want to make certain that she has as much of a life as it’s possible for her to have.”
While he was across the country creating new life.
“You make the call to Dr. Humboldt, and if he’s agreeable, have him call me,” Sara said. “I’ll need instructions from him. And I can take the plans from there, if you’re sure you really want to pay for this.”
“I’m positive.” The money was there. And while no one seemed to believe him, he had no intention of using any of it for himself.
Or maybe he was, Josh amended his thought as he drove into work that morning. Maybe all of his money was being used for him. Because if, as they said, Michelle had no awareness of her surroundings, then all the money he was spending on her was only to assuage his own conscience.
To make him feel better.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Can you get out of your lease?
SITTING IN ENGLISH 101 Monday morning, Dana read the text as it came through. She’d forgotten her tablet that morning, still not used to having one even though the scholarship money had provided for it three months before.
I’m paid up for a year.
Can you sublease?
I don’t know.
Find out.
She didn’t reply.
* * *
AT TEN AFTER TEN, she was standing in Josh’s backyard with a very happy-to-see-her Little Guy, when another text notification came through.
You just have student insurance, right?
Yes.
Won’t cover pregnancy.
Yes, it does.
She’d checked. In a moment of panic Saturday morning just before she’d rushed out of the house. There had definitely been a pregnancy section. Her insurance covered sixty percent of the doctor’s bill and one hundred percent of any hospital stay. She’d figured she’d use her savings to cover the other forty percent of the bill.
Not until you are on it for a year.
She didn’t reply.
Unless there are complications, then covered.
“Come on, Little Guy, this isn’t playtime. That’s this afternoon. I have to get back to class.”
She still didn’t reply to Josh.
Her eleven o’clock was a lecture that started right on time every time. She wanted her front row seat and didn’t relish walking in front of everyone after class had started.
Or maybe she just didn’t relish standing in Josh Redmond’s backyard while he was busy poking his nose into every aspect of her business.
* * *
SHE WENT HOME at lunchtime to let Lindy Lu out and to have a salad. To spend a few minutes in the peace and quiet of her own space.
Did you check on your lease?
Josh would be home now, too, having lunch with Little Guy. The man was starting to get on her nerves. How could she stay immune to him if he was going to be bothering her all the time?
No.
Okay, when?
She wanted to know why he wanted her to check on her lease. If he thought he was going to put her up someplace, like some kind of kept woman, he had another think coming.
But if he was rethinking the whole relationship thing...if he thought that two people who were having a baby and were going to be raising it together should live together...
If he was thinking that living together would be a way to save money...
This afternoon.
Okay, thanks. Let me know.
She didn’t reply.
* * *
AT ONE-FIFTEEN another text came through. She was in class, had the phone on Vibrate and couldn’t make herself wait to get out of class to look at it.
Just met with HR and set autowithdraw to new bank account you have access to, to pay doctor. Will give you details.
This time, her fingers were shaking so much she couldn’t reply.
* * *
JOSH WAS AT HIS DESK just after two on Monday afternoon, getting through a pile of paperwork in preparation for a series of meetings he was planning, while he waited to hear about Dana’s lease.
He’d set her number to a specified text notification so he’d always know it was her and not miss any communication. Even when he was in meetings. The woman was pregnant with his child and all kinds of things could go wrong. He’d only just begun reading up on pregnancy the night before so he wasn’t an expert yet by any means, but he’d set the ringtone before he’d gone to bed.
I need to be able to take care of myself.
Yes.
Just so you understand.
???
You can’t do everything for me.
C
an’t do much of anything but doing what I can.
What aren’t you doing?
Growing baby. Birthing it.
Damn, he’d called the kid “it” again.
Oh.
They needed to talk about baby stuff—he wasn’t sure what items she’d want, but from the brief cyber stroll he’d taken the night before of the children’s store that had the highest rating on Wall Street, he’d been able to add up well over two thousand dollars in items that appeared to be necessary and he’d only gotten as far as the first couple of pages into the website. He was going to have to buy a house sooner than he thought. He couldn’t afford to keep throwing money away on rent. He’d need the equity in the home to use as collateral in case he needed a line of credit.
Don’t forget the lease.
He was at a standstill until she got back to him.
Unfortunately, she didn’t reply.
* * *
JEROME WAS COMING OVER that night to do laundry. He’d missed Saturday to attend an all-day gaming play-off in the student union. And before that, she had to stop by Lillie and Jon’s place. They wanted her to see Harrison’s new bed. She needed to convince Lillie that she was fine. At least until she and Josh discussed when and how they were going to let people know about that baby.
Next, she was going to visit Amy and Ian and Skyline. Dana texted Josh to let him know that she’d be busy all evening.
She took Lindy Lu with her. As it turned out, Lillie wasn’t even home—there had been an emergency at the clinic—so Dana didn’t have to fight her urge to break down and tell her new friend everything. She also didn’t stay long. Then she spent half an hour in the second couple’s home, mostly watching the dog. Ian wasn’t home from work yet and it was obvious to Dana that Amy was already the rescue dog’s “mom.”
“You’re a natural,” she said to Amy, who stood holding the big girl. “Are you still certain that you want to keep her?”
“I’m certain,” Amy said without hesitation. “She slept in the bed with us last night. She’s ours.”
They talked as they watched the dog. She found out that Amy worked as a nurse on the surgical ward at a Phoenix hospital. That she and Ian had both grown up in Shelter Valley, attended Montford together and had been married for four years. Amy wanted children.
“Ian doesn’t?” Dana asked, honing in on the one subject she was trying so desperately to avoid thinking about.
“Ian says he doesn’t want to have to share me,” Amy said. “I’m hoping Skyline will change his mind.”
“Sharing you with a dog won’t be like sharing you with a baby,” she said. Amy and Ian had a lovely home and, by all appearances, a lovely marriage. There were pictures of the couple laughing together everywhere she looked.
They seemed like perfect parent material.
“I know. I hope he’ll relax about the whole thing.”
And what if he didn’t?
“We set Josh up with a friend of mine.”
The words fell like rocks on her toes. “That’s nice,” she said.
He’d told her he would remain celibate. That he wouldn’t humiliate her.
“We double-dated,” Amy said. “Olivia really liked him....”
Clearly Josh had given Ian and Amy the impression that Dana was just the person he got his dog from, or just a friend. Amy didn’t strike her at all as a cruel woman. “What does Olivia do?” she asked, to be polite. To prove to Amy that she didn’t care.
“She’s a licensed architect but focuses more on interior design. We all went to high school together. Olivia was the head cheerleader and I was the one who helped wrap sprains and rub down sore muscles.”
Lindsey and Rebecca had both been cheerleaders. And dated guys like Josh.
She didn’t begrudge them. She could do herself up like they did, spend an hour in front of the mirror every morning. Her sisters had talked her into getting a makeover once. They’d taken her to a spa and then to the mall where they’d made her buy some new outfits.
And she felt as if she’d been unfaithful to herself as she trudged around the stores in her makeup and new hairstyle, feeling uncomfortable and awkward and wishing she could hide.
She’d hated the attention she’d received from male customers, from a guy she’d known in high school who hadn’t given her the time of day then but suddenly seemed very interested.
Lindy Lu was chewing on her finger. She’d have to get in the habit of keeping one of the pup’s little chew toys in her purse. At least until Lindy was past the teething stage.
Would that be in time to replace it with a synthetic teething ring? The human variety?
“...he said it wouldn’t be a bad thing to steer her in another direction.”
Dana realized that she’d missed something.
“Wait, what?”
“Josh told Ian that it wouldn’t be a bad thing to steer Olivia in another direction.”
“He didn’t like her?”
“He said he liked her fine. He just wasn’t looking for a relationship and didn’t want to lead her on.”
Wow. He’d told the cheerleader the same thing he’d told her. He’d been telling her the truth. Not blowing her off kindly because she wasn’t his type. “Ian and I think it’s because of you.”
Amy’s words were so ludicrous that she almost laughed out loud. “What makes you think that?”
“You’re all he talks about. Dana said this. Dana mentioned that.”
“I talk a lot.”
“And he apparently pays attention to every word. You know how many times I have to repeat myself to get Ian to actually listen to me?”
“Guys like things in ten words or less,” Dana said. “I’ve just never been good at expressing my thoughts in anything less than paragraphs. Maybe that’s the trick, if you talk enough some of it eventually trickles in.”
Amy laughed. And Dana stood, giving one last caress to the side of Skyline’s face as she lifted Lindy Lu up to her chest.
“So there’s nothing going on between you two?” Amy asked.
She was going to have a baby with him, but she couldn’t say that.
“We’re just friends,” she said, not sure at all what she meant by that.
She got out of there before Amy could press her any further.
* * *
JOSH WAS READING, something he’d been doing a lot of since he’d come home from work and pulled another frozen meal out of his freezer. He’d signed on to the internet while the microwave did its thing. And had been on ever since.
While there really wasn’t a rush for Dana to see a doctor, they still needed to make an appointment. Dana was going to need prenatal vitamins and the sooner she started on them, the better. For her and the baby.
Vitamins were just one of the things Josh had read about on the internet. Flipping between various pregnancy-related online articles and a spreadsheet he’d started, he made some more notations.
Earlier he’d left a message for Michelle’s doctor, too.
It was after ten when Dana’s text notification sounded, and he picked up his phone immediately.
I can sublet.
Okay.
Half an hour later, he got another text from her.
Why?
ttyl, he typed. Talk to you later.
He never presented a plan that was incomplete.
It wasn’t until he went to bed sometime after midnight that he noticed Dana hadn’t written back.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
HE’D SAID HE’D TALK TO HER LATER—ttyl. Dana read her phone again as she sat in class on Tuesday morning.
She’d waited until after midnight but he hadn’t called. Or otherwise contacted her.
Should she call him?
&
nbsp; For what? She’d told him she could take care of herself, and it was imperative that she do just that. She couldn’t rely on others to make her happy.
She called her mom on her way to Josh’s later that morning. Not to tell her about the baby. She wasn’t ready to do that. Just because she needed to talk to her mom. Susan was in the office with Daniel and seemed a little distracted, but still happy to hear from her. They didn’t talk long.
Little Guy started howling as soon as he heard her key in the lock. If she wasn’t quick about it, the puppy would leave a present for her before she got him to the door.
She stayed outside awhile, enjoying the Arizona sunshine and balmy seventy degree weather, pretending that pregnancy and raising a child, being a single mother, would be a breeze.
Knowing she had to get back to school for her eleven o’clock biology lab, she called Little Guy over to her. Only as she turned back to the sliding-glass door did she notice the note propped up on the dining table. It was a piece of computer paper with color printing, a picture of a house on front.
The Moment of Truth Page 19