Hidden Judgment

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Hidden Judgment Page 13

by Diane Benefiel


  He held himself stiffly, eyes hooded and his expression once again austere. “I’ll explain myself to all of you together. I wanted to give you the courtesy of telling you before then.”

  “You know what you can do with your courtesy.”

  “Ellie.” Seth stood in the open doorway.

  “What? Did you know about this?”

  “No, but I’m not surprised.”

  “Why? What do you know?”

  “Let’s hear what Sam has to say before we parse it out.”

  Furious, she stalked past her brother. She joined Linc on the loveseat, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “What’s going on?” Linc asked.

  Seth came in to sit beside Bella, and Sam crossed to the cold fireplace, standing with his back to the room.

  “I have no idea. Ask Judge Creed.”

  Sam turned to face them, dark brows lowered. “I want to change our arrangement. Presenting Ellie as my fiancée while we try to draw out the person threatening me isn’t working.”

  “What the hell?” This came from Linc. “It is working. You’ve successfully established your cover. The two incidents here at the house are escalation.”

  “Escalation? I found enough C-four on my car to blow me to kingdom come weeks ago. How is making a mess in my yard and a flashbang an escalation?”

  “Because we’re dealing with two different people,” Linc stated.

  Sam frowned. “Explain.”

  “That’s the conclusion we’ve come to. The emailed threats and the C-four are separate from the mess in your yard, which we think is connected to the flashbang.”

  “You’re sure about this?”

  Linc nodded. “While you were in here getting El bandaged up, I conferenced with Seth and Bella. Our conclusion is the only explanation that makes sense. The emails and the C-four? Those are cold and unemotional. The truck destroying your lawn, and then a guy breaking a window and lobbing in a flashbang device? That’s in your face, and it’s personal. The first person probably doesn’t have a direct connection to you, the second likely does.”

  Sam shook his head. “Okay, fine. We’re looking for two people. That doesn’t change my decision.”

  Ellie put a hand on her stomach to quiet the jumping nerves. She hoped the feeling was contained to today’s incident, and that it had nothing to do with memories of when a younger Sam Creed had also disappeared from her life.

  She controlled her voice to keep her tone level. “I don’t get it. As Linc said, we’ve established ourselves as a happily engaged couple to your family, neighbors, and the people at the courthouse. What’s changed?”

  “You were hurt,” Bella observed.

  Ellie rubbed her thumb between her brows, suddenly glad Sam had insisted she take the pain meds. Without them the headache she was sporting would be worse. “So? I’m not badly hurt.”

  “You could have been.” Sam’s quiet voice had her turning to stare at him.

  “Is that what this is about, that I was hurt?”

  “We didn’t think through the risk you’d be taking. You were hurt because someone wants to get at me. What if they decide that the best way to do that is through you? I don’t want you to be a target.”

  “You may not have thought it through, but the team has. I was aware of the risk when I took this assignment. I’m a Deputy US Marshal. I’m trained for exactly this type of situation. Have some respect. You can’t pull me off the job because you don’t want me hurt. It’s not appropriate, and you don’t have that authority.”

  “It’s not a matter of respect, and, like it or not, you need my cooperation for our fake relationship to work.”

  “It’s all about respect. If Linc had been assigned to protect you and was hurt, would you want him pulled off the job?”

  “That’s ridiculous and not the point.”

  “It’s exactly the point. You feel guilty because I got a few scratches. You may not notice it, but I’m constantly monitoring your situation. You need a person close to you to be on guard. You’re a federal judge and it’s my job as a US Marshal to protect you. If you take me out or choose not to cooperate, you leave yourself wide open and vulnerable. Is that what you want?”

  “If that’s the only alternative, then yes.”

  She threw up her hands in frustration. “You’re not only ridiculous, you’re irrational.”

  Seth held up a warning hand to Ellie. “Sam, let’s talk. Outside.”

  Ellie surged to her feet. “No way. You two aren’t working it out between you. I have a right to defend my job. I haven’t done a damned thing wrong.”

  Seth shook his head. “I’m talking with him alone.”

  She knew when Seth got his I’m-the-boss look. Even an edict from heaven wouldn’t budge him.

  “Don’t you dare sell me out, Seth Jameson.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Seth and Sam went through the kitchen and mudroom, and out the back door, taking Cleo and Tony with them.

  Ellie’s anger vibrated through her body, looking for an outlet. She eyed Linc poking at his phone. He was probably texting Mikayla.

  “Don’t even think about it.” He hadn’t even looked at her.

  “Too late.” She kicked his foot from where it was resting on his knee.

  “Is this you being a mature adult, Eleanor? You know it never ends well when you pick a fight with me.”

  “I can take you. I’ve done it before.”

  “You’ve never taken me.” He held up his hand when she opened her mouth. “And the time when I had mono doesn’t count, because I had mono.”

  She always hated it when Linc was right. But she didn’t really want to fight with him when fighting with Sam would be so much more satisfying.

  She wheeled around to stare out the window. Maybe she could sneak outside and spy on them. A glance at Bella had her checking the impulse.

  “You’re sitting there grinning like the damned Cheshire cat. I’d think you would be on my side about this.”

  “I am on your side. Sam should treat you as a professional, even if his personal feelings get in the way. You can trust Seth. He won’t pull you from your assignment.” She shrugged. “But still, I understand why Sam wants you off the case. I think it’s sweet.”

  Before Ellie could ask Bella to explain, the back door opened and the dogs rushed in ahead of the two men, neither gave much away by their expressions.

  Seth tipped his head to her. “Sam’s agreed that we keep the situation as it is. The local PD will increase patrols in this area, and we’ll check in with each other regularly. You’re to take precautions to remain safe.”

  She nodded, relief flooding through her, Sam’s blank expression telling her clearly the conversation hadn’t gone the way he’d wanted.

  ***

  Sam crossed the hall from the bathroom to his bedroom. He glanced at Ellie’s closed door. Maybe she was still awake. He owed her an explanation for trying to get her assignment pulled, not that he was willing to go there. And he wasn’t apologizing, either. Which led to the question of why he was standing outside her door with his fist raised to knock. Seth had figured out Sam’s issue and that was bad enough. He lowered his hand. What he really wanted was to talk to her, make sure she was okay, get her to dial back on being pissed at him.

  A thud sounded from the first floor. Sam’s first instinct was to grab his shotgun and confront any new danger. But Ellie had called him out on respect for her job as a marshal, and she’d been right to do that. He knocked softly, then opened her door and flipped on the light. Her bed was empty.

  He crept down the stairs, keeping to the outer edge of the treads to avoid the ones that squeaked. The dogs weren’t barking, a good sign. But given everything that had happened, noises in the night made him more than a little cautious.

  He cut through the living room. Light shone around the library door, which stood slightly ajar. He pushed it open. Ellie stood with her back to him, using a broom to sweep glass into a pil
e.

  “Don’t do that.”

  She ignored him in keeping with what she’d been doing for most of the evening since her team had left.

  He brought a hand down on her shoulder. In a single, smooth movement she dropped the broom and whipped around with her elbow aiming for his face. He lurched back and she missed giving him a broken nose by a scant inch. Her eyes widened and she pulled wireless earbuds from her ears.

  “Good way to find yourself flattened, Creed.”

  “What are you doing in here?”

  She looked at the broom and back at him. “Sweeping?”

  He tensed his jaw and felt his molars grinding. “You don’t need to. I have a lady who cleans for me. I’ll call her in the morning and she’ll take care of it.”

  The room looked like a tornado had spun through it and had him clenching his jaw against the surge of anger. That Ellie had been through that tornado only magnified the anger.

  Her hair was piled in a messy bun. She still wore his sweatshirt, which hung below her hips, and fatigue lined her eyes. Not for the first time did he wish things were different between them, that he had the right to pull her into his arms and simply hold her.

  Seth had done that, and Sam had found himself jealous of the close bond between the siblings.

  “So now she won’t have to sweep up this glass.”

  “Neither should you. You should be in bed.”

  “What’s with you acting like I’m a child who needs to be told to go to bed or to take her medicine?”

  “Christ, Ellie. I don’t think you’re a child.”

  “Okay, then a woman who can’t make her own decisions or do her job.”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose and wished he’d ignored the thud and gone to bed. “Let’s focus on what’s going on right now. Why are you cleaning in here instead of getting some sleep?”

  “Because there’s glass all over the floor. Because I’m too wound up to sleep and needed something to do. Why don’t you go away and leave me alone?”

  He should do exactly that, but he was an idiot. He bent to retrieve the broom, but she grabbed it before he could and held it out of reach. “Oh no you don’t. I’m going to sweep and finish the podcast I was listening to.”

  “Why do you have to be so difficult?”

  “Difficult? I’m being difficult? You bastard.” The snarled words hung in the air as she tossed the broom back on the floor and stepped toward him, eyes blazing like blue lightning.

  Okay, wrong thing to say. Again.

  “You question my competence, my ability to do my job, and now you want to pat me on the head and tell me to go to bed? You act like a condescending chauvinist, and I’m the one being difficult?”

  His own temper spiked. “I never questioned your ability to do your job. That was your assumption.”

  She waited a beat. “That’s all you’ve got? No explanation, nothing other than to say I’m making assumptions and you expect me to walk away from my assignment because you’ve got a burr up your butt about it? That’s the way you work, Creed, not me. I don’t walk away from people. And I don’t lie to them.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean? When have I lied or walked away from you?”

  She stepped back and he could see shutters slamming down over her eyes. “Never mind.”

  He caught her arm and pulled her toward him. “Tell me.”

  “Why? It’s not like we’ve ever been honest with each other.”

  He stared at her as a shadow of memory surfaced. “We met before.”

  She pulled free of his hold. “Forget it, Creed. I’m done here. You can deal with the glass.”

  He didn’t let go. “Tell me, Eleanor.”

  She rounded on him and hissed the words. “Get your hand off me, or you’re going to find yourself on the floor.”

  She had moves, he was sure of it, but he didn’t think she’d be able to take him down. Still, he released her and backed up a step. “Okay, I’ve let go. But I’d still like an explanation. Where did we meet before?”

  She moved farther away from him like space would be enough of a barrier between them. Whatever was going on in her head played out on her face as a war of indecision. “Fine, I’ll tell you.” She crossed her arms across her stomach. “We met thirteen years ago at U of O, at a party at your place.”

  He shook his head. “At my place? We didn’t have many parties.”

  “You had at least one. My friend talked me into going. I was a sophomore and you were a law student. You and I talked, got a little tipsy. Flirted.”

  The memory slammed into him. The music, the smart, funny girl, the instant connection, then… “Shit.”

  “Yeah, shit. After, you asked for my number, said you knew a great place to get Thai food. Made a big deal that you’d call. But I never heard from you again.” She puffed out a breath. “Let’s just say my first and last hookup was a good lesson for me.”

  “There was more going on than that.”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore. You got what you wanted that evening, and I learned a lot.”

  She turned and walked out of the room.

  ***

  After a night of tossing and turning, Ellie dragged herself out of bed to tug on her workout clothes. She’d do her job if it killed her. She descended the back stairs to the kitchen to find Sam leaning against the counter, not in exercise gear, but sipping from a steaming mug, his hair mussed like he’d rolled out of bed five minutes ago.

  “I’m ready to go.” Cleo sniffed her shoes and gave her a doggie grin while wagging her tail. Ellie crouched down to pet her. Tony remained on his cushion, nose on his paws. She gave Sam a side look and found him watching her.

  Telling Sam of their shared past had been a mistake, mostly because he’d hurt her all those years ago, and that made her feel vulnerable now. Vulnerability was one of her least favorite emotions.

  “I can see that. But you’re not going running until you’ve had a doctor clear you.”

  “I really don’t like you making decisions for me.”

  “I’m not making decisions for you. You’ve already been hurt because of me. I don’t want to make it any worse.”

  “I wasn’t hurt because of you. I was hurt because a horrible person threw a rock and a flashbang into the house.”

  Denial was written clearly on his face, but he shrugged. “I want to explain why I didn’t call you.”

  “Really? After thirteen years, now you want to explain? You could have called me. You didn’t. No big deal. Can we leave it?”

  “No.”

  She rubbed a fist on her forehead, then held up a hand. This was too much before she was caffeinated. “Right, whatever. But not one more word until I’ve consumed at least a quarter cup of coffee. No, make that half.”

  He poured coffee into a mug and handed it to her, then set the dog dishes on the counter to feed them. Ellie wrapped her hands around her mug, closed her eyes and breathed in the coffee. It took almost a full ten minutes before she felt like her belly had warmed and the synapses were firing in her brain.

  Sam leaned against the counter, arms crossed over his chest, gaze on her.

  “You may speak.”

  “The morning after we met at that party, I got a call that Jane, Drew’s mom, was back in the hospital. She’d been diagnosed with ovarian cancer two months before, but the disease had already spread to her liver and lungs. Surgery and radiation hadn’t helped. She died that week.”

  “Oh, Sam, that’s horrible. No wonder you didn’t call back.”

  Back then, she’d imagined he’d been in a car crash and suffered from amnesia, or had lost her number and searched but been unable to find her. Eventually, she’d stopped fooling herself and accepted that he simply hadn’t felt the connection, and acting interested had been all about getting in her pants.

  To learn that his family had been in crisis gave her an entirely different perspective.

  “I took almost a month�
�s leave from law school to help at home. Drew was a wreck, and Dad wasn’t much better. His way of coping was to work from sunup to sundown and make everyone else do the same. When I got back to the university, I was buried in work trying to make up for lost time, and I still drove home every weekend.” His gaze held hers. “I’m sorry.”

  “Wow, that’s a lot. I’m glad you told me. It stung at the time, but I moved on.”

  He held her gaze. “Another confession. I’ve got feelings for you.”

  “Huh?” She couldn’t have heard him right. She bobbled her mug and set it on the counter before she dropped it.

  “You heard me. You walked into that room at the Marshals Office and I felt like I’d taken a hit to the gut. Nothing that’s happened since has diminished that sensation. These feelings have been totally unexpected and, honestly, unwanted. They’ve complicated things. I’m having a hard time negotiating that on top of you being assigned to protect me. The deal breaker was you getting hurt in the process.”

  She tapped a fist over her heart to get it beating again, and when it did, Ellie was sure Sam could hear it thudding heavily in her chest.

  He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “I’ve shocked you. That’s something at least.” He checked the clock on the wall. “I need to shower and get going. I have a breakfast meeting with another judge this morning. Can you call your team if you need a ride anywhere?”

  “Ah, sure.”

  “Good. I’ll be out of here in twenty minutes.”

  She stared at his back as he climbed the stairs.

  That was it? I’ve got feelings for you. Not only that, but those feelings are annoying and they complicate things. And, by the way, I’ve got a breakfast meeting so find your own ride.

  He hadn’t asked if those pesky feelings of his were reciprocated, and he didn’t seem to care how she felt about any of what he’d told her.

  She stabbed her fingers through her hair to hold on to her head so that when it exploded, she could keep the pieces together.

  Pipes clanked as the water was turned on upstairs. Learning that he’d had a damn good reason not to call her all those years ago might ease the lingering resentment she’d held on to, but it also made one of the reasons she’d fought against her own feelings no longer valid. Talk about complicated.

 

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