by Lori Foster
Uh-oh. Josie shook her head. There was no way she could take him to her condo where her functional life-style and boring personality were in evidence everywhere. In her furniture, her pictures, her CDs and books. Nursing magazines and pamphlets were on her tables. Nostalgic photos of her deceased parents, along with photos of her and Susan together, decorated her mantel. He’d see her with her hair braided, her turtlenecks and serious, self-conscious mien.
That wasn’t the woman he wanted, and she couldn’t bear it if he backed out on her now.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He glanced at her curiously as he wove through the traffic. “Why not?”
Why not? Why not? “Um, my neighbor, in the condo complex, was planning a big party and I bowed out. If she sees me, she might be hurt, or insist I come to the party after all.” It was only a partial lie. Most of the condo owners were nice, quiet, elderly people, living on retirement and Social Security. They were her friends, the only people she felt totally comfortable with. They loved her and appreciated whatever she did for them, no matter how insignificant. For them, she didn’t have to measure up, she could just be herself.
Until recently, there had never been parties at the condo. Now, with Josie’s encouragement, Mrs. Wiley was known for entertaining—but hers certainly weren’t the type of parties Josie would be comfortable taking Bob to. Mrs. Wiley could be affectionately referred to as a “modern” grandma.
Bob nodded his understanding, his brow drawn in thought.
She squirmed, then suggested, “Why don’t we go to your place instead?”
“No.” He shook his head, shooting her a quick look. “Not a good idea.”
“Why?”
“I, um… You know, I hesitate to suggest this, because I don’t want to insult you.”
“Suggest what?” Her curiosity was piqued. And she couldn’t imagine any suggestion on his part being an insult, not when they both knew what it was they wanted, what they planned.
“My father has a small houseboat docked on the river, not too far from here. It’s peaceful there. And quiet. Just like home, only smaller. And floating.”
How romantic, and how sweet that he feared insulting her. “I think it sounds like heaven, but…I thought Susan told me both your parents were dead.”
“My…” He turned his face away, his hands fisting on the steering wheel.
“Bob?”
Now he groaned. When he did finally look at her, he appeared harassed. “They are. Gone that is. Deceased. But they left me the boat and I guess I…still think of it as theirs?”
He’d ended it on a question, as if he weren’t certain, which didn’t make any sense. Unless he was still dealing with the loss of them. She herself knew how rough it could be. It had taken her months to get over the shock of her parents being gone, and by the time she realized how selfish she was being, Susan had just naturally taken control, cushioning Josie from any other blows. Even though Susan was older, it had still been a horrendous thing for her to deal with on her own.
It was obvious Bob had a difficult time talking about it. Josie sympathized. “My parents died when I was fifteen. Susan took on the responsibility of being my guardian. It hurts sometimes to remember, doesn’t it?”
His gaze seemed unreadable. “Does it hurt you?”
“Yes. I still miss them so much, even though it’s been ten years. And…I feel guilty when I think of everything Susan gave up for me. We have no other relatives, and because she was nineteen, she was considered an adult and given legal custody.” It wasn’t as simple as all that, but Josie didn’t want to go into how hard Susan had fought for her, the extent of what she’d given up.
He reached for her hand. “I doubt Susan would have had it any other way. She seems…determined in everything she does.”
“You’re right about that. She’s a very strong person.” Josie smiled, then decided to change the subject. “Tell me about the boat.”
His fingers tightened. “No. Talking about taking you there makes it damn difficult to drive safely.”
He never seemed to say the expected thing. “Why?”
“Because I wish we were already there.” He glanced at her, his look hot and expectant. “I want to be alone with you, honey. I want to touch you and not stop touching. I want—”
She gasped, then mumbled quickly, “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it.” She fanned herself with a trembling hand and heard him chuckle.
After a minute or two had passed in strained silence, he said, “Okay. I think I’ve come up with some innocuous conversation.”
Relieved because the silence was giving her much too much time to contemplate what would come, Josie grinned. “Go ahead.”
“Tell me about where you work.”
“All right. But I assumed Susan had already told you everything. I don’t want to bore you with details. I know she can go on and on with her bragging. Not that there’s really any reason to brag. But she does act overly proud of me. As I said, she rightfully takes credit for getting me through college and giving me a good head start.”
His mouth opened twice, without him actually saying anything. He shrugged. “I’d rather hear it from you.”
She supposed he just wanted words flowing to distract him from what they were about to do. She knew it would help her. She’d never felt so much anticipation and yet, she suffered a few misgivings, too. Spontaneous affairs weren’t exactly her forte. The fear of disappointing him, and herself, made her stomach jumpy. So far, they’d been moving at Mach speed. What would happen if she faltered, if her inexperience showed? She couldn’t even contemplate the idea. The fact of her nonexistent love life was too humiliating for words.
“I do home-nursing care. I started out working for an agency, but I hated the impersonal way they functioned. I always got close to the people I worked with, and they became friends, but as soon as they were released from care, I wasn’t supposed to see them ever again. So I decided to start my own business. Susan already knew, through the experience of starting her flower shop, how to go about setting things up, and she helped a lot. It took me a while to get everything going, but now I’m doing pretty well.”
“You like your work?”
“Yes. So far it’s been the only thing I’ve been really good at, and it gives me comfort.”
She knew her mistake instantly when Bob frowned at her. “What exactly does that mean?”
“It means,” she said, measuring her words carefully, “that I’m trying to make changes in my life. I’m twenty-five years old, and I’ve reached most of my business goals. So I’ve set some personal goals for myself. Things I want to see happen before I’m too old to enjoy them.”
He gulped. “Twenty-five?”
“Does that surprise you? I mean, I know Susan must have told you all about me, what I do, my supposed interests, my normal appearance.”
He rubbed one hand over his face, as if in exasperation. Shifting in his seat, he cast a quick glance at her. “Uh, yeah. She did.” His voice dropped. “But you’re even more attractive than I thought you’d be. And you seem more…mature than twenty-five.”
“Thank you.” Josie wondered if much of her maturity came from spending all her free time with the elderly. They were so caring and giving, offering her a unique perspective on life.
“You mentioned personal goals. Tell me about them.”
He sounded so genuinely interested, she hated to distract him. But it wouldn’t do for him to learn he was a personal goal. If he discovered the reserved life she’d lived, how sheltered her sister had kept her, would he decide against taking her to the boat? She wasn’t willing to run the risk.
“Everyone has personal goals. Don’t you? I think I remember Susan saying something about you trying to double your company assets within the next five years. Now that’s a goal.”
He mumbled something she couldn’t hear.
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing.”
Turnin
g down a narrow gravel drive that headed toward one of the piers, he slowed the car and gave more attention to his driving. But he kept glancing her way, and finally he said, “It’s my partner who’s actually into building up the company. I’m satisfied with where we are for now. We’re doing well, and to expand at the rate he wants, we’d have to start putting in tons of overtime. That or take on another partner. I don’t want to do either. Work isn’t the only thing in my life. I want to have time for my grandfather. I want to see other people and pursue other interests. Work is important, but it isn’t everything.”
Marveling at the sentiments that mirrored her own, she said, “I can’t believe this. My sister mentioned your partner, but she said only that he was arrogant and she didn’t like him. She said his only goal seemed to be joking his way through life. In fact, I think she refused to work with him, didn’t she?”
Even in the darkness, she could tell he flushed, the color climbing up his neck and staining his cheekbones. “Yeah, well, she took an instant dislike to…Nick. I couldn’t quite figure out why—”
“Susan claims he tried to schmooze her, to charm her. She can pick out a womanizer a mile away, and she said that Nick is the type who draws women like flies with his false charm.”
With a rude snort, he glared at her. “That’s not true. And besides, Nick is very discreet.”
“He’s evidently not discreet enough. Susan is very liberated and doesn’t like being treated any differently than a man. From what she said, I assume your partner is a bit of a chauvinist. ‘Pushy and condescending’ is how she described him.”
He muttered a short curse. “Yeah, well, Nick doesn’t particularly like pushy women, either, and your sister is pushy!”
Josie didn’t deny it; she even laughed. “True enough. I consider it part of her charm.”
A skeptical look replaced his frown. “If you say so. Anyway, it was easier for her to work with…me.”
Josie laughed. “Susan said you had the best advertising agency in town. And she showed me the ads you worked up for the flower shop. They’re terrific. She’s gotten a lot of feedback on them already.” Josie patted his arm. “Susan claims you’re the brains of the agency, while this Nick person only adds a bit of talent. But I’d say you’re pretty talented, too. And not at all what I expected.”
“Oh?” He sounded distracted, almost strangled.
“I’m beginning to think finding me dates is Susan’s only hobby, and I would have wagered on you being another guy like the last one.”
That got his attention. “What was wrong with the last one?”
“Nothing, if you like men who only talk about themselves, their prospects for the future, the impeccability of their motives. He laid out his agenda within the first hour of our meeting. He actually told me that if I suited him, after about a month of dating, he’d sleep with me to make certain we were compatible, then we could set a wedding date. Of course, he’d require that I sign a prenuptial agreement since he worked for his father, and there could be no possibility of me tinkering with the family business.” She laughed again, shrugging her shoulders in wonder. “Where Susan finds so many marriage-minded men is beyond me.”
After muttering something she couldn’t hear, he turned to her. “I hope you walked out on him at that point.”
“Of course I did. And then I had to listen to a lecture from Susan because I didn’t give him a chance. She claimed he was only nervous, since it was our first date and all.”
He grunted, the sound filled with contempt. “Sounds to me like he’s a pompous ass.” He tilted his head, studying her for a moment. “You know, it strikes me that your sister doesn’t know you very well.”
Josie didn’t know herself, or at least, the self she was tonight, so she couldn’t really argue. “No. Susan still sees me as a shy, self-conscious fifteen-year-old, crying over the death of our parents. Afraid and clingy. She put her own life on hold to make certain my life didn’t change too much. She’s always treated me like I was some poor princess, just waiting for the handsome prince to show up and take me to a mortgage-free castle. Now she thinks of it as her duty to get me married and settled. She’s only trying to see things through to what she considers a natural conclusion to the job she took on the day our parents died. It’s like the last chapter in my book, and until she’s gotten through it, I’m afraid she won’t stop worrying about me long enough to concentrate on her own story.”
“You’re hardly in danger of becoming an old maid. Twenty-five is damn young.”
“I know it, but Susan is very old-fashioned, and very protective. Convincing her to let up isn’t going to be easy.”
“You’re pretty tolerant with her, aren’t you? In fact, you’re not at all like she claimed you to be.”
“I can imagine exactly how Susan described me.” Josie couldn’t quite stifle her grin, or take the teasing note out of her words. “Probably as the female version of you.”
He shifted uneasily as he pulled the car into an empty space right behind a long dock where a dozen large boats were tied. He turned the truck off and leaned toward her, his gaze again drifting over her from head to toe, lingering on her crossed legs before coming up to catch her gaze. “We’re here.”
She gulped. Her stomach suddenly gave a sick little flip of anxiety, when she realized that she didn’t have a single idea what she should do next, or what was expected of her.
“Josie.” His palm cradled her cheek, his fingers curling around her neck. “I want you to know, I’m not in the habit of doing this.”
“This?” The breathless quality of her voice should have embarrassed her, but she was too nervous and anxious to be embarrassed.
“I’m thirty-two years old, honey. Not exactly a kid anymore. I know the risks involved in casual sex, and I’m usually more cautious. But you’ve thrown me for a loop and…hell, I’m not even sure what I’m doing. I just know I want to be with you, alone and naked. I want to be inside you and I want to hear you tell me how much you want me, too.”
Her words emerged on a breathless whisper. “I do.”
He held her face between both hands, keeping her still while he looked into her eyes, studying her, his gaze intense and probing. “I can’t remember ever wanting a woman as much as I want you.” He kissed her briefly, but it was enough to close her eyes and steal her breath. “This can’t be a one-night stand.” He seemed surprised that he’d said that, but he added, “Promise me.”
She nodded. She’d have promised anything at that point.
“Tell me you won’t hate me for this.”
That got her eyes open. “I don’t understand.”
His forehead touched hers. “I’m afraid I’m going to regret this, because you’re going to regret it.”
Her hand touched his jaw and when he looked at her, she smiled. “Impossible.” She’d never been so sure of anything in her life.
He hesitated a second more, then opened his door with a burst of energy and jogged around to her side of the truck. She’d already opened her own door, but he was there before she could slide off her seat. It seemed a long way down, hampered by her skirt, so she was grateful for his help. But he didn’t just take her hand. He lifted her out and didn’t set her down, carrying her instead.
He didn’t have far to walk. The boat he headed for was only partially illuminated by a string of white lights overhead, draped from pole to pole along the length of the pier. His footsteps sounded hollow on the wooden planks as he strode forward. Holding her with one arm, he dug in his pocket for a key and fumbled with the lock on the hatch, then managed the entrance without once bumping her head. She barely had a chance to see the upper deck, where she glimpsed a hot tub, before he began navigating a short, narrow flight of stairs. When they reached the bottom, he paused, then kissed her again, his arms tightening and his breath coming fast.
He lowered her to her feet by small degrees, letting her body rub against his, making her more aware than ever of his strength, his size,
his arousal. It was so dark inside, Josie couldn’t see much, but she didn’t need to. He led her to a low berth and together they sank to the edge of the mattress. When he lifted his mouth, it was to utter only one request.
“For tonight,” he said, “please, call me anything but Bob.”
3
HE’D LOST HIS MIND. That could be the only explanation for making such a ridiculous comment. Not that he’d take it back. If she called him Bob one more time, he’d expire of disgust—that or shout out the truth and ruin everything.
But now she’d gone still, and he could feel a volatile mixture of dazed confusion and hot need emanating from her. Damn it all, why did things have to be so confused, especially with this woman?
“I don’t understand.”
The soft glow of her eyes was barely visible in the dark interior of the boat as she waited for him to explain. But no explanation presented itself to his lust-muddled mind, so he did the only thing he could think of to distract her. He kissed her again, and kept on kissing her.
Night sounds swelled around them; the clacking of the boat against the pier, the quiet rush of waves rolling to the shore, a deep foghorn. Her lips, soft and full, parted for his tongue. He tasted her—her excitement, her sweetness, her need. She pulled his tongue deeper, suckling him, and he groaned.
What this woman did to him couldn’t bear close scrutiny. He didn’t believe in love at first sight; he wasn’t sure love existed at all. Certainly, he’d never seen it. But something, some emotion he wasn’t at all familiar with, swore she was the right woman, the woman he needed as much as wanted. Her scent made him drunk with lust, her touch—innocent and searching and curious—made him hungrier than he’d known he could be. She presented a curious, fascinating mix of seductive sexuality and quiet shyness. She spoke openly and from her heart—leaving herself blushing and totally vulnerable.
Lord, he wanted her.
Working his way down her throat, he teased, in no hurry to reach a speedy end, wanting to go on tasting her and enjoying her for the whole night.
If she’d allow that.
He listened to her sighs and measured her response, the way she urged him. He wanted this to be special for her, too. If later she hated him for his deception, he needed to be able to remind her of how incredible the feelings had been. It might be his only shot at countering her anger, of getting a second chance. It might be the only hold he’d have on her. So it had to be as powerful for her as it was for him. And with that thought in mind, he rested his palm just below her breast. Her heartbeat drummed in frantic rhythm and he realized she was holding her breath suspended while she waited.