by Glenn Carter
‘Dis is Mary O’Connell,’ Conor announced, and then introduced them all as if he had known them for years. Paul noticed that Mary spent a long time shaking his hand. And there was something in her eyes which left him feeling that Mary knew more about him than she was letting on.
‘You look just like…Mary’s sentence tailed off. ‘Anyway, it’s great to meet you all. I believe you are new recruits of MI2 and the last 48 hours have been…’
‘Terrible,’ interjected Rachel. ‘It wasn’t really what we were expecting.’
‘I’m sure it wasn’t!’ agreed Mary. ‘Listen, I asked Conor to bring you here so we can plan how best to get you to London safely. Given the events so far, I want to take extra care of you all. I’ve spoken to William in your London Headquarters and we feel it would be better that you travel by car and boat, rather than risk another flight.’
‘Hallelujah!’ smiled Sharav.
‘We really need to get there as soon as possible,’ said Paul, looking at Mary.
‘Yes Paul, of course. The ferry may take a bit longer, but your safety is our priority. Conor, we think it is best you get out of Dublin and take the Rosslare to Plymouth ferry. It leaves at 9:15 this evening and takes about nine hours. You will be sailing on the Oscar Wilde ship. Oh, and Conor, I think you should bring Darragh with you.’
Conor hesitated but quickly recovered and said, ‘Ah sure, de more de merrier’.
‘He’s actually sitting behind that sofa over there.’
Rachel, Paul and Sharav looked towards the dark blue sofa waiting for someone to appear. Conor walked around the back of the sofa and looked down saying, ‘Howaya Darragh?’ there was a silent pause… ‘Ah good, I’m glad. Been up to much…no? Ah well. Sure, you can come and help me get dese tree to London. Sound good..? Great.’
Paul looked at Sharav and began to think Conor had lost his mind. They all edged slowly towards the sofa and finally peeked far enough around to see a small thin figure, crouched behind the sofa eating a packet of M&Ms. Darragh suddenly jumped up and eyed them suspiciously. The group leaned back staring at the young person who had dark hair, small eyes and a pointy face. Darragh was shorter than them all and looked so thin and undernourished. He was dressed in black from his trainers right up to his baseball cap.
Conor registered the alarm on all their faces. ‘Dis is Darragh. Darragh Lemon.’
At the mention of ‘Lemon,’ Darragh furtively scanned all their faces looking for any sign of amusement. He was extremely sensitive about his size and his surname. Conor continued, ‘Darragh is our secret weapon. He might be small, but he is extremely fierce and one of de best agents we’ve got.’
Mary walked over to the group, ‘I want to make sure you get to London without any further complications, which is why I am asking Conor and Darragh to accompany you on your travels. Conor, you’ll need a car to get to Rosslare and then to London on the other side. Feel free to take any of the cars from the basement.’
Conor looked at his three new friends with a delighted grin on his face. ‘Wait until you see de basement!’
11
Road Trip
‘Paul and Rachel, can I catch you for a minute?’ asked Mary, glancing briefly at Conor.
‘Let’s step outside,’ said Conor, shepherding Sharav and Darragh through the door.
‘It’s great to meet you both,’ said Mary when they were alone. ‘Have a seat. I heard that your father has gone missing.’
‘How did you..?’ began Paul.
‘I get to know things,’ smiled Mary, waving away his question. ‘Anyway, I have some information that might be useful in your quest to find your father. I had a couple of our analysts do some digging and they have confirmed the suspicion that there is an active mole within MI2.’
‘Yes, we heard that too!’ said Paul.
‘We have reason to believe that the mole’s codename is Sabre.’
‘Sabre?’
‘Yes, and as the newest recruits you have a unique opportunity to uncover the mole. My advice is to learn quickly and be very careful whom you trust. If you need any help, please don’t hesitate to contact me, or indeed Conor.’
‘How do we know we can trust you?’
‘You don’t,’ smiled Mary. ‘Welcome to the world of espionage! Now go and choose a car.’
Five minutes later Paul, Rachel and Sharav found themselves entering a lift with Conor and Darragh. The door of the lift had been concealed behind a full-length, ornate mirror at the end of one of the corridors. Paul saw that Rachel was keeping her eye on Darragh. Darragh moved in an unpredictable fashion and had a crazy look in his eye. Darragh continued to eat green M&Ms as the lift descended into the basement. As they exited the lift Conor grinned at them, as if all his Christmases had come at once. The three young people were treated to a spectacular view of metallic, shiny goodness. Set before them was a basement full of high-end sports cars. Each of the sixteen cars was a different model and colour. Rachel was first to walk towards them; her mouth was open as she gazed at each one in turn.
‘You are having a laugh!’ she exclaimed. She walked towards the nearest car which was a deep red with two white stripes on the bonnet. ‘A 2010 Ford Shelby CT500! 0-60 in 4.6 seconds. A 2011 Aston Martin DB9. 470 brake horsepower and costs £122,445 brand new!’
Sharav shook his head and said, ‘Rachel, I didn’t know you were into cars!’
Paul followed Rachel and smiled saying, ‘It’s funny, it was like she was born loving cars. Exactly like Dad.’
Rachel continued, ‘Oh an Audi A8, a Lamborghini Huracan and a beautiful, gold Bentley Bentayga. She approached a black, space-age looking car. ‘Oh, my goodness, a Lamborghini Reventon! 0-60 in 3.3 seconds, maximum speed 211mph, 8000 RPM and costs over a million pounds! Is this real? Don’t wake me up if it’s a dream.’
Conor, also impressed by Rachel’s car knowledge smiled and said, ‘Yep, and we can choose any car we want!’
Sharav looked confused, ‘I thought spies were supposed to keep a low profile!’
‘Not in Ireland!’ laughed Conor.
Rachel looked at Conor and said, ‘Well the Lamborghini won’t seat us all. How about the Ford Shelby? Please can we have that one?’ Conor shook his head.
‘Okay,’ said Rachel as she looked around her again. ‘What about the Aston Martin? Loads of space for us all. Or the Bentley?’
Conor shook his head again. ‘Nope, you still haven’t mentioned me favourite car.’
Rachel pointed at the silver Audi.
‘No,’ said Conor. ‘Come over here’.
Conor walked over to the far wall of the basement. He turned to face the group and pointed at what looked like an empty parking space. They walked up to him and there, hiding behind the Bentley, was a red mini with white stripes.
Rachel looked aghast, ‘Oh, come on! Not the 1963 Mini Cooper! I’ll settle for the BMW M2.’
‘1963 Mini Cooper S,’ corrected Conor. ‘Wit modifications. Dis is by far me favourite car out of all de other cars here. I’ve driven each one of dem and we will have way more fun in dis. It’s got a 1071cc engine, a vacuum assisted brake booster and a second fuel tank fitted. Oh, and some other surprises. Dis little beauty won de Monte Carlo Rally in 1964, 1965 and 1967.’
‘But it’s 56 years old and it’s only got 4 seats!’ Rachel was almost shouting at this point.
‘Ah, but Darragh is happy to sit in de middle.’
Darragh gave them a grin, revealing a mouth of grey and black teeth, four of which were missing. Sharav took an involuntary step backwards. Darragh, realising he had let his guard down, quickly covered his mouth with his hand and glared at them all. Each person quickly looked away, pretending they were interested in one of the cars.
It wasn’t long before they were all on the road and Conor was happily in the driver’s seat, fiddling with the ancient radio trying to find some music. Paul was in the passenger seat up front and Darragh was sandwiched between Rachel and Sharav in the back.
> Conor piped up, ‘Darragh, show dem your M&M trick.’ Darragh glowered at Conor and then at everyone else. He paused, looked at his bag of M&Ms and very slowly reached his left hand down to pick one out. Everyone apart from Conor was transfixed as Darragh balanced the single M&M on the tip of his little finger. He was totally focused as he slowly moved the M&M towards his nose. He went cross eyed. They all held their breath as they waited to see what would happen next. Darragh moved his finger with the M&M slowly away from his nose and readied himself. He moved his right hand up to the M&M and readied himself to flick it. But just before flicking the M&M he turned his head slowly towards Sharav, staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Sharav looked back, holding his breath with his eyebrows raised. It all happened so fast. Darragh flicked the M&M hard. The M&M flew past Paul’s left ear, bouncing off his side window, the front windscreen, Rachel’s side window and finally hitting Sharav hard on the head before bouncing into Darragh’s mouth. Conor cheered as Darragh sat back in his seat, crunching the sweet with a satisfied look on his face. The other three looked at Darragh for several seconds unsure what to think, until he gave them one of his frantic crazed looks accompanied by a strange hoarse noise of ‘uuuuuggggghhh.’
They were now out of Dublin and making good progress along the M11. The sun was shining again, and they were all enjoying the scenery as they passed the Wicklow mountains.
Thirty minutes into their trip Darragh looked behind them and tapped Conor on the shoulder. ‘Tail,’ he said in a very broad Dublin accent.
Conor looked in his mirror, ‘You sure?’
‘Yea,’ Darragh replied, whilst digging into his M&M bag again.
Conor changed lane and slowed down a little, ‘Looks like we might have company everyone. It’s not a problem, we can easily lose dem if needed. Please don’t look back cause you’ll alert dem dat we’ve blown der cover.’ Paul looked into the side mirror and could see a dark blue Ford Mondeo two cars behind them.
Conor signalled to turn off at the next exit. The Ford Mondeo did the same. But at the last-minute Conor pulled back on the main road. So did the other car.
‘Okay, so we definitely do have a tail. Darragh we need a plan.’
‘Enniscorthy,’ said Darragh, totally relaxed.
‘Hmm, good idea. Lots of narrow, windy streets that we can lose them on.’ Conor put his foot on the accelerator and the Mini sped up. As they were taking the turn-off for Enniscorthy, Conor became aware of a blue flashing light behind them. ‘Ah Janey Mac, it’s not a tail, it’s de Police! Better pull over.’ Conor pulled onto the hard shoulder. The Ford Mondeo drove up behind them and two plain clothes men got out of the car. They stayed near their own car, talking into a radio.
Conor reassured the group, ‘Don’t worry everyone, once dey realise the car is registered to G2 tings will be fine.’
Darragh looked behind him again and simply said, ‘Not de Garda.’
‘What! Really? Dey’re not de police?’ Conor said, sounding worried.
Paul spoke into his watch. ‘Hugo, check a registration for me, will you? It’s 12-D-36472.’
‘Just checking Paul, please wait.’
Meanwhile both the men were approaching the Mini. Darragh said again, ‘Not de Garda.’
‘Hugo, quickly please.’ Both the men had reached the back of the Mini when Paul’s watch said, ‘This blue Ford Mondeo was registered stolen 24 hours ago.’
Conor frantically grabbed and turned the ignition key. He threw the gear stick into first and put his foot to the floor.’
The Mini sped away from the two men. Conor saw in his rear-view mirror one man pull a gun from his belt. Conor shouted, ‘GET DOWN EVERYONE!’ Everyone ducked apart from Darragh, who sat bolt upright chewing happily. The bullet hit the back of the car, luckily missing the rear left tyre. Sharav’s head slumped forward. He was asleep again.
‘Okay,’ said Conor, ‘now you’ll see what dis Mini is made of!’
12
Enniscorthy
Conor sped towards the town centre. Paul and Rachel looked behind them, frantically checking where the gunmen were.
‘Wow this little car can really move!’ laughed Paul as the Mini pulled away from the Mondeo.
‘Can anyone smell petrol?’ asked Rachel.
‘Oh yea,’ said Conor sniffing. ‘Dey must have hit de petrol tank. Looks like we are losing fuel.
Sharav woke up, ‘Anyone hurt?’
‘No, but we are losing some fuel,’ replied Rachel.
Conor reassured them by saying, ‘It’s okay, remember I said we had another fuel tank. It’s LPG so it should be fine… unless…’ his voice trailed off.
‘Unless what?’ Sharav asked.
‘Gun,’ said Darragh staring into Sharav’s face. ‘Gun, Gun, Gun!’
‘What he means is, if dey shoot the LPG tank things might get nasty.’
Rachel piped up ‘LPG stands for Liquid Petroleum Gas and it’s highly flammable. It’s fine if there is no oxygen in the tank but the bullet would definitely cause an explosion.
‘BOOM!’ shouted Darragh, making Sharav give a scream.
‘Lord help us!’ exclaimed Sharav. ‘Conor get us out of here!’
Paul was enjoying the rush of adrenaline and he smiled broadly, ‘Have you done your terrorist evasion driving course?’
‘Nope! Doing it next month though,’ said Conor.
Suddenly Conor pulled on the handbrake, turned the car left and managed to squeeze the Mini through a gap in a stone wall that led through a park. They sped down the short path past a man and his dog. The dog gave a sharp yelp as he was tugged away from the oncoming vehicle. They heard a series of expletives as the man shook his fist at the Mini, which then bumped down a kerb back onto the road. The Mini skidded round a U-shape bend. Many of the mid-morning shoppers stood still, staring at the Mini filled with people. The Ford was nowhere to be seen.
‘Oh, praise the Lord,’ said Sharav, leaning back into his seat.
As they approached the centre of the town they came to a fork in the road. There was a large, yellow hotel at the intersection, with a seating area where some of Enniscorthy’s residents were enjoying the morning sun. Conor took the left-hand fork and put his foot down.
Darragh mumbled, ‘Should have gone right’. Within two seconds the Ford Mondeo came speeding down from a road on their left and screeched to a halt in front of them. Conor slammed on the brakes. Darragh wasn’t wearing a seat belt so he was catapulted into the front of the car and ending up lying on his back between Paul and Conor. Darragh, still clutching his M&M bag, grinned up at Paul. Conor pushed Darragh closer to Paul so he could reach the gear stick.
One of the men wound down his window and pointed a gun towards the Mini.
Sharav shouted ‘NO BOOM PLEASE, NO BOOM!’ And fell asleep again.
Conor threw the gear stick into first and turned right. The Mini bounced up the kerb between two huge steel bollards and onto the pedestrian area. A couple of people had to jump out of the way as the Mini zigzagged between the bins, trees and benches. As they approached the four huge steps leading down onto the other road, Conor sped up. The men in the other car watched helplessly as the Mini flew through the air and landed hard on the road below. The Mondeo was too wide to follow. Its tyres screeched as they accelerated, looking for a right turn.
Meanwhile Conor took a sharp right and sped the wrong way down a narrow one-way street.
Suddenly Darragh growled, ‘Only two left!’ as he looked into the M&M bag. For the first time since meeting him, Paul saw fear in Conor’s eyes.
‘Okay,’ said Conor. ‘We can’t let him run out of M&Ms. Paul grab the bag.’ Darragh clasped the bag close to his chest and quickly looked from Conor to Paul and back again. He bared his black teeth and growled at Paul.
‘What! I can’t take them off him!’ said Paul. ‘Are you mad?’
‘I don’t have time to explain Paul, but you have to get that bag off him, or we are in serious trouble.’
Paul hesitated and then grabbed for the bag. Darragh held on with a vice-like grip and let out an angry ‘Miiiiiiiinnnnnne!’ Paul pulled hard and almost succeeded when Darragh with lightning speed sunk his teeth into Paul’s leg.
‘Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! He bit my leg! He bit me!’
Rachel looked on in alarm, helpless to do anything apart from try to hold Darragh’s flailing legs still.
Conor pulled the handbrake on and spun the car 180 degrees. The Mini swung around and stopped perfectly in a disabled car parking space behind a wall.
‘Darragh!’ He said angrily. ‘You can’t bite people!’
‘My M&Ms!’ Darragh shouted.
‘Okay listen, we have to get him more M&Ms or he will literally tear dis car apart.’ He thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled out twenty Euro. Opening his car door, he got out and looked into the back seat.
‘Rachel can you please go and buy some M&Ms? Buy all you can get with twenty Euro. I’m sure I saw a corner shop just up de street a bit. Those men would recognise me but probably not you.’
Rachel looked astonished, ‘Conor we are being chased by armed men! Do we really have time to stop for sweets?’
Conor noticed Sharav was asleep and raised an eyebrow. He sighed, ‘Listen I know it isn’t ideal, but I’ve seen what happens when Darragh runs out of M&Ms. He loses it. Please trust me, we have got to get those sweets.’
Rachel nodded and took the money, ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ Conor had his hand on the ignition key as they waited. Rachel finally returned with an armful of M&Ms, ‘They aren’t all green, but it was the best I could get.’
Sharav was awake again and Darragh was upright in the back seat. Rachel handed over the sweets and Darragh gathered the bags into his arms like they were precious little chicks.