by Allen Drury
In one way, I suppose, I should be flattered and pleased that instinctively, in his blind rage and desperate anger, he should have turned to me to do his deed for him. At least it shows that I am so much a part of him that even in his blindest and most unthinking moment he automatically calls on me as the one he can trust to do his bidding. I suppose I should be flattered at such terrible proof of confidence. I think I should have been happy could I have been relieved of such trust before it became too late!
Yet must I be honest here, though my head grows dizzy with the effort: I wanted his trust. I have deliberately sought it out, all his life. I have made it my constant and undeviating purpose to rise to stand at his right hand. I have done so. Would I have not made the bargain had I known from the beginning the price it would exact? The answer springs from my ba and ka, the very soul and essence of my being: of course I would, for I have ever been determined to rise.
But even so: This price? This I had not bargained for.…
He knew, however, that I would do it. I think even in that wild, blazing moment when he was blind with rage and scarcely thinking at all, I am sure he knew that I would do it. Our eyes locked and for a moment made even more terrible by our joint knowledge that I might just—just—not do his bidding, our kas intermingled and became almost one in a furious battle of wills that no one else in all the world could see. And I gave in and killed the screaming fool who presumed to threaten Pharaoh, as all who threaten Pharaoh must be killed … if they are such fools as to do it openly. And thus did I join him in bringing horror and fear to Kemet, which has been free of them for many years.
The gray mists swirl, the red haze comes: there are moments when I cannot think at all. I see it! I cannot think at all.…
But these moments pass, though I continue to rock from side to side and Ramesses does not know that my mind is working again. It is best he should not know, dull, lovable, faithful Ramesses whom I have brought with me in my rise and whom I shall take with me even higher someday, perhaps. He is a contented soul, with his placid wife Sitra and their bright little son Seti, whose obvious brilliance must be some mysterious joke of the gods, his parents are so decent and so dull. But Ramesses would kill for me as I have killed for Akhenaten, I know that. The only difference between us is that he would not even pause to think about it. He would shrug and smile and wipe his sword and go on. My curse—as it is my blessing, of course—is that I think. Therefore I need a Ramesses. Does Akhenaten need a Kaires?
And does that matter?
Kaires needs an Akhenaten.
That is more to the point.
I think, now, that I must begin to follow my own purposes more. My old friend Amonhotep, Son of Hapu, told me that I have them, on that long-ago day in Thebes when a death and two births shook the Eighteenth Dynasty. New come to the City of Amon, an innocent in the Two Lands, I did not know then what he already shrewdly suspected: That my love for Kemet would make me increasingly impatient, over the years; that it would make me more and more desirous that I move into positions from which I could have something to say about that rule; that I should seek power in the land that I may do good in the land. He knew then, wise Amonhotep, Son of Hapu, and he has helped and encouraged me ever since. “I am old,” he has said, very often. “You are young, Kaires. Kemet needs you and you must work always for Kemet. You are young, and there is time.”
But I am not young any longer, and time may no longer be my friend. Now I must begin to take advantage of what I have gained. For I have sought trust, and this day I have fulfilled it in a way that he who has placed me here can never forget. From this day forward I will truly be one of those who stand at the right hand of Akhenaten.
There are others, but I think secretly we all have the same purpose. I know Amonhotep, Son of Hapu, does, and I know my father does, though we have never discussed it directly. Sometime soon I must talk to him: I am thirty-five now, the time for pretense is long past, new responsibilities require new dignities. It is time for Kaires to become someone else, a figure in his own right when he stands below the throne at the right hand of the King. When the moment is right I shall move: such is my rule in all things, and it is only because today I have not been the mover but the moved, because today I have been forced against my will to do a deed that can only damage Kemet, that I am shaken and not myself.
Nefer-Kheperu-Ra shall have me a while longer. I shall go with him as he desires me, on his strange life’s journey. In my heart are many misgivings, but I shall conceal them yet awhile. I shall do his bidding, I shall be his servant, I shall serve his purposes—until such time as I can serve Kemet’s and my own. When that time comes, I shall not hesitate.
I perceive that Ramesses is studying me thoughtfully. I have been silent too long. Even that plodding mind will begin to wonder if I calm myself too soon.
I moan, I groan; fists thud, face contorts, sweat pours, body rocks. He looks concerned again, dear stupid, faithful Ramesses. How much I love his simple love for me, his unshakable, unbreakable, undeflectable loyalty and faith. His only purpose is to love me and serve me. My purposes build on his, as they build on those of many others. Together we will rise.
For the time being those of us who stand at the right hand of the King will continue to serve him loyally as he wishes. But in due course, if we decide we must, we will do what Kemet’s good requires.
It rests with Nefer-Kheperu-Ra to determine when, or whether, this will be necessary. Today he has, through my sword, confirmed the power he was born with. Kemet, the Empire, the world, and all, lie waiting for his word.
At his right hand, we wait too.
***
Book IV
Dream of a God
1367 B.C.
***
Burnaburiash of Babylon
To Nibmuaria, the Great King, the King of Kemet, Son of the Sun, my brother who loves me and whom I love, at his seat in the city Akhet-Aten of his son Naphuria: Burnaburiash, the Great King, King of Babylon, who loves thee and is thy brother.
It is well with me: may it be well with thee, with thy house, with the Great Wife and all who love thee and whom thou loveth.
Burnaburiash, thy brother, knoweth not the truth of the rumors he hears, but he tells his brother Nibmuaria thus: Be it known that it is common knowledge among thy friends, thy vassals and thine enemies as well, that not Nibmuaria, not Naphuria, not anyone in thy land of Kemet sends gold, or arms, or any precious thing to those who love them. Nay, it is said Nibmuaria and Naphuria turn their backs upon those who love them. It is said they no longer send envoys, they no longer send gifts, they no longer send armies to strengthen their friends and punish their enemies. It is said they care not what happens to the land of Kemet, they care not what happens to the friends of the land of Kemet, they care not what the enemies of Kemet do. It is said they spend their time in idle pursuits and care not for statesmanship or empire. It is said they care not if their enemies go unpunished or if their friends who love them do not receive gold and other precious things.
Burnaburiash, thy brother, says to Nibmuaria, his brother whom he loves: it is said all things fall away in the land of Kemet while Naphuria worships the Sun-God Aten and cares not for the things of government. It is said Nibmuaria pays no attention also, that he does not correct Naphuria. It is said the hand of Nibmuaria the Great King, Son of the Sun, lies light and uncaring upon the land of Kemet, not strong and sturdy as it did when Nibmuaria, like thy brother Burnaburiash who loves thee, was young and vigorous. It is said Naphuria does all things as he pleases, and that it does not please him to care for the land of Kemet, only for the worship of his Sun-God, Aten.
Burnaburiash, thy brother who loves thee, says to his brother Nibmuaria: Babylon my kingdom doth not want. It doth not tremble. Burnaburiash, thy brother, governs all things well in Babylon, and mine enemies are defeated and dare not plunder Babylon. But this is not so in the land of Kemet. Burnaburiash, thy brother, says that Babylon sends arms to punish her enemies and gi
fts to her friends who love her, and whom she loves. This is not so in the land of Kemet.
Therefore thy brother Burnaburiash, who loves thee, says to his brother Nibmuaria: awake thyself from slumber! Attend to thine armies! Attend to thy friends! Attend to thy son! Control thy bothersome vassals who on all sides squabble and fight and ignore the wishes of Kemet. Love thy friends, as thou once did when we were young together!
Burnaburiash, thy brother who loves thee, says to his brother Nibmuaria: send gold, so that I may know my brother Nibmuaria still loves me! And tell thy son Naphuria also, whom I love: send gold! Send gold!
***
Tushratta of Mittani
To Nibmuaria, the Great King, the King of Kemet, Son of the Sun, my brother-in-law, who loves me and whom I love, at his residence in the city Akhet-Aten of his son Naphuria: Tushratta, the great king, thy brother-in-law, who loves thee and is thy brother, King of Mittani.
It is well with me: may it be well with thee, with thy house, with the Great Wife and thy many other wives, with thy son Naphuria and thy other sons, with thy chariots, thy horses, thy nobles, thy land, and all that is thine, may it be well with them indeed!
So says Tushratta, thy brother-in-law, thy brother, who loves thee.
Grievous news hath come to thy brother, Tushratta who loves thee! It is brought to him that his sister Gilukhipa, whom he loved, Queen of the Two Lands, wife of Nibmuaria for twenty years, hath died in Nibmuaria’s Palace of Malkata at Thebes. Tushratta weeps for his sister and grieves for thee, Nibmuaria!
Grievous also to the ears of Tushratta are the reports he hears of his brother’s land. It is said thy vassals defy thee, thy friends fall away, thine enemies advance. It is said all is chaos on thy borders and dismay within them. It is said Naphuria forgets his duties and spends his time in worship of the Sun-God Aten. It is said Nibmuaria does not control this. It is said Nibmuaria grows old and tired and cares not what happens to Kemet.
Tushratta, thy brother who loves thee, grieves for Nibmuaria and thy land of Kemet as he grieves for his sister Gilukhipa, thy wife and Queen of the Two Lands for twenty years.
Therefore be it known to Nibmuaria, Great King, great brother whom I love, that Tushratta, thy brother who loves thee, hath thought in his grief how he might ease the grief of Nibmuaria, his brother whom he loves. And Tushratta says to Nibmuaria:
There lives in my palace my daughter Tad-u-khi-pa, niece to Gilukhipa. She is surpassing fair, I assure my brother Nibmuaria. Though she is presently but ten years, she hath much learning, great knowledge, much intelligence besides her beauty. And she is beautiful, Nibmuaria! I, thy brother Tushratta who loves thee, tell thee truly: she is beautiful, thy Tad-u-khi-pa who loves thee.
Why doth not my brother Nibmuaria take my daughter Tad-u-khi-pa unto him as wife and Queen of the Two Lands? Though she be but ten, the years speed fast and it will not be long before she will enter thy bed and be thy loving companion. She will be loving and faithful to thee until death, Nibmuaria! I, thy brother Tushratta who loves thee, father to Tadukhipa who loves thee, promise it!
Further do I say to thee, Nibmuaria, my brother: if thou doth take my daughter Tadukhipa into thy bed, young and beautiful as she is, all will go well with Nibmuaria, who will be young again! All will go well with the land of Kemet, which her beauty will bless! All will be strong again between us, and thy alliance with the land of Mittani will be renewed and preserved by this marriage. Grieve for my sister Gilukhipa, Nibmuaria! And marry my daughter Tadukhipa, that our friendship may remain strong and unchanging forever!
I say this frankly to my brother Nibmuaria, whom I love, for this reason:
Whereas thy fathers in their time kept fast friendship with my fathers, thou hast increased the friendship. Now, therefore, that thou and I are friends thou hast made it ten times closer than with my father Shuttarna, whom I have succeeded. May the gods cause our friendship to prosper! May Teshup, the lord, and Amon ordain it eternally as it now is!
I write this to my brother that he may show me even more love than he showed my father. Now I ask gold from my brother, and it behooves me to ask this gold for two causes: in the first place for war equipment and secondly for the dowry of Tadukhipa.
So then, let my brother send me much gold, without measure, more than to my father. For in my brother’s land gold is as the dust of the earth.
May the gods grant that in the land of my brother, where already so much gold is, there may be ten times more gold to come! Certainly the gold that I require will not trouble my brother’s heart, but let him also not grieve my heart. Therefore let my brother send gold without measure, in great quantity. And I also will grant all the gifts that my brother asks. For this land is my brother’s land, and this my house is his house.
And may Nibmuaria find that all goes well again in the land of Kemet when he marries my daughter Tadukhipa and sends me much gold! And may Naphuria whom I also love, send me much gold as well! For gold is as the dust of the earth in the land of Nibmuaria and Naphuria.
Send gold! And all shall be well there!
***
Amonhotep III
(life, health, prosperity!)
Little sniveling greedy men, off on the edge of Kemet, off on the edge of my life! What do they know of the troubles we suffer in this land? What do they know of the sufferings of his mother, and of me?
More miracles, more “wonders!” Now the Court and the people are to gather this afternoon under the archway that runs between his apartments and hers, beneath the “Window of Appearances” where they will show themselves (probably, as usual, naked) and announce his latest wildness. Have we not had enough of it? Must we go through another play-acting? It is too much: too much. And to think I am old and ailing as always, unable to stop him, unable to influence. There are days when I believe I am going to die, and there are days when I believe I should. Certainly I contribute nothing—except, of course, one thing:
As long as I live he cannot have complete authority and complete control.
It is worth pushing this fat old body on a while longer to keep that from happening. For when it does, Kemet, the gods, the House of Thebes, and all, may go into the darkness of the afterworld and nevermore return.
It is five years almost to the day since he brought us all to this place to announce the founding of Akhet-Aten. Five years almost to the day since he changed their names, proclaimed the Aten, and called on the people of the Two Lands to follow his lead. And what has he got from it all, except his city, which indeed he has? He has not got the following of the people. He has not got their loyalty. And he has not got their love. And starting a year ago, after four years of comparative quiet, he has begun again to arouse their uneasiness. For he has begun to make real inroads upon Amon at last, and all the fears that had arisen with Aanen’s murder but had gradually subsided, as they lived quietly in their city and ventured seldom forth, are grown again.
My brethren Burnaburiash and Tushratta are arch in their knowledge of what goes wrong here; arch and, I fear me, accurate. I shall send them a little gold, if it will keep them happy, and I shall probably marry Tadukhipa, out of respect for Gilukhipa’s memory if nothing else. She never liked it here, but she bore her burden well and was a good friend to my House in her own odd, glowering way. But for her, I suspect my darling Sitamon and sturdy Kaires would have had far fewer happy nights, and for that I thank her. None has had exactly the happy lives they would have wished, but together they have given one another solace, the young people valuing her secret assistance, she basking in their love and gratitude in return. She was ill for a year before she died, a sad unhappy thing. She lies now in the Valley of the Queens, where she will lie forever and ever, far from Mittani. At Tiye’s suggestion I gave her a full royal burial, and I do not regret it. She was a good woman. I hope Tadukhipa may be the same, though I may not be able to wait for the years to run on much longer before I take her to my bed. I wish to do it while I am still able.
And in that, tha
nks to Min and various potions prepared for me by his priests, I am. Akhenaten and Smenkhkara were much surprised three years ago when their mother suddenly started bearing again. First came the boy and then, a year later, the girl. I think this will probably be all, but their coming was a great delight to us. Smenkhkara, who has become a beautiful youth, sleek and golden, almost like a woman in the soft perfection of his looks and the gentle grace of his manner, welcomed them with an innocent glee and happiness. The Co-Regent, in what I see now was really the beginning of his new attack upon Amon, took a more direct approach.
“What do you intend to name the child, Father?” he inquired in each instance, actually making the trip all the way to Thebes both times for no other purpose, apparently, than to ask the question.
“I like the name,” he said slowly each time when I told him. Then his eyes narrowed and his face assumed its usual basilisk look. “But I would like it better if it were Tut-ankh-aten instead of Tut-ankh-amon.” And for the girl, the same: “I like the name. But—I would like it better if it were Beket-aten instead of Beket-amon.”
And such was his manner, and such was his look, which chills the Great Wife and me as much as it does anyone else when he turns it upon us, that after some fumbling and mumbling we gave in both times and announced to the world that the new god and his sister were indeed to be known as Tut-ankh-aten and Beket-aten. This did not please Amon, but we have gradually learned that it is better that we please our son.
And of course, I will say for him, he is consistent. Six little princesses now fill his own household. Three more have joined Merytaten, Meketaten and Ankhesenpaaten. Of the six, four bear the name of the Aten. The names of the last two end in “Ra”; he refuses ever again to use the name “Amon.”