"You can't blame yourself for—"
"I know, I've been through all that in my mind, believe me. I've come to terms with my feelings about it. I'm just telling you about my sister because it might explain why I wish I could help you with that guy at your work. I hate it that you feel like you need to take Isabel to work with you to feel safe. Surely, you can find something else. I can even try to help you look if—"
"I am. I will. I plan on looking for something else starting next week. I've got to be a little patient, though, because I can't afford to burn any bridges with Patterson & Ray."
Drake's arm was around Isabel, and I reached up and touched it. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, and the back of my fingers brushed against his forearm. The contact sent chills up my back, so I took my hand away as quickly as I put it there.
"Thank you for caring, though," I said sincerely. "It's nice that you care enough to say something. And I'm sorry about your sister. I know that must have been really hard."
He smiled sadly. "You would have really liked her."
For the next thirty minutes, Drake and I sat in slow-moving traffic and talked about family and life and regrets and accomplishments, and before I knew it, the cab came to a stop in front of my apartment building.
The next word out of my mouth very clearly needed to be, "Goodbye," but I couldn't stand to see him go, so instead, the words I said were, "Do you want to come up?"
"Yes," he said without hesitation.
Chapter 8
Drake
It was 6:13am when Drake opened his eyes. He knew it because he was staring straight at the cable box when his eyes opened. It took him a second to register the fact that this cable box wasn't his own. By the time he realized that he was on the couch in Tabitha's apartment, he heard the sound that had woke him up in the first place. First, there had been a jingling of keys, and then he heard the sound of the door opening. The shades were drawn, but light was peeking in through the sides. Drake sat up on the couch, and peered toward the door, watching as Macy came inside.
"Pssst," Drake said, knowing he should alert her of his presence. Macy peered into the room with a huge smile that said she thought it had been her niece who made the noise.
Drake lifted his hand, and gave Macy a little two-fingered wave to make his presence known. She gasped and put her hand to her chest, squinting into the living room and trying to figure out what exactly she was seeing. Drake squinted tiredly out of one eye and stretched in her direction so she could see him more fully.
"Drake Salinger, what are you doing on my couch?" Macy whispered, looking at him with an expression of utter shock. She crossed the room glancing back and forth from Drake on the couch to her sister's closed bedroom door, looking like she was trying to piece things together.
Drake still had on the clothes he had worn to Rose's birthday party, and he sat up on the couch resting his elbows on his legs while rubbing his face. He ran his hands through his hair, and let out a long sigh. He and Tabitha had stayed up talking until past 1AM when she finally made herself go to bed so she could get up with Isabel in the morning. Drake stretched, looking again at the clock, which now said 6:15.
"Tabitha thought you were coming home last night," Drake said, still speaking quietly.
Macy came to sit next to him on the couch. "I told her I'd probably come home since I have to volunteer at that race this morning, but I ended up crashing at S&S."
"Well, she thought you were coming home, so I told her I would stay out here till you got home. I told her I'd leave when you came in. I don't think she wanted Isabel to see me out here in the morning."
"Why didn't you just go home when Tabitha went to bed?" Macy asked.
Drake had been staring down at his feet, but he turned to look at Macy when she asked that. "Because I didn't want to leave them alone," he said as if that were obvious. "They shouldn't be alone."
He was so serious that Macy stared at him with shifty eyes as if she were missing something. "Drake, you do know I'm getting married, right?"
He nodded. "And you know that means that I won't be living here anymore, right?"
"Yes, Macy, I know. And I know Tabitha's a grown woman… I just... I couldn't…" Drake tilted his head and regarded Macy earnestly. "I seriously hate that guy for never seeing that little girl," he said. "How could he do that? How in the world could someone have something so precious—a part of you—your own flesh and blood—and not ever want to meet her, or know her, or be a part of her life? I just don't understand it. They need him. She needs a dad. Why isn't he here?"
Macy smiled and put her hand on Drake's knee, leaning against him with a bump to his shoulder that said she was thankful that he cared. "I ask myself the same thing," she whispered. "But Tabitha's strong. She's doing a good job. And I'll still be able to help out with Isabel after Ethan and I get married. She'll come spend the night with us and give Tabitha a break." She bumped him with her shoulder again. "You're so cute for sleeping out here till I got home, though."
"I want to destroy that guy for leaving Tabitha alone to raise that little girl. I hate him for doing that."
Macy giggled quietly. "You want to fight everybody lately—or is it just something about being around my sister that brings out the fighter in you? I can't believe you told Tab's boss you smash things for a living."
Drake smiled as he stood up and straightened his shirt. "Sometimes you have to fight," he said. "Sometimes you chose to let people live their own life and it turns out bad."
"Sometimes it does," Macy said, having no idea that the statement had deeper meaning for Drake. "And sometimes it turns out good," she said.
"Sometimes it does," Drake agreed, smiling at her. He felt sleepy and in the back of his mind, he promised himself coffee right when he got home. "I love your sister," he said to Macy. He looked right at her and said it with a straight face, but it changed to a smile when he realized that Macy was staring at him with a shocked expression. "Not like that," he said, reassuring her. "Not like I love her, love her. I just love her as a person. I feel like she's full of goodness, you know? I don't love her. I just wanted to tell you I love her as a person. As a human being. You know, in case she needs anything or whatever. Or Isabel. If either of them ever…" Drake trailed off. In his mind, he was doing a pretty good job of explaining himself, but Macy just kept staring at him like she thought the earth had just shifted on its axis. Drake smiled when he realized he had just dug himself into a hole. "You'll have to excuse me," he said, putting his hands into his pockets. "I'm tired. I should have probably just gone home when Tabitha went to bed."
"I think it's so sweet that you stayed," Macy said. She stood up, stretching toward the ceiling since it seemed like a natural thing to do at six in the morning.
It was during a silent moment of stretching that they suddenly heard the doorknob to Tabitha's bedroom begin to turn. It shook and jiggled several times, and they both knew there was a four-year-old on the other side. Drake and Macy both looked at each other with wide eyes.
"It's Izzy," she whispered. "Get down!"
Drake sat on the couch, crouching over to put his head down by his knees, and the next thing he knew, Macy had thrown a blanket completely over him. Drake could see nothing, but he heard the sound of the door finally opening before it closed again. Drake heard the little girl's footsteps as she ran across the room.
"Hey Aunt Macy, I woke up."
"I see that, peanut. You sure you don't want to go back to bed? It's early."
"I'm suwe. Mama said you was pwobably waking up, and she said if you can get me some ceweal and put on a cawtoon so she can sleep till seven, and then I can wake hew up."
There was silence after Isabel spoke, and Drake just sat there quietly. He hated hiding from her.
"Did you know we went to a birfday pawty last night, and Dwake cawwied me home, and he was at my house when I fell to sleep?"
"I didn't know that," Macy said.
"And we got two cakes. One
at my favowite cake stowe and one at the birfday pawty. They awe both still in the fwidge."
"You had a big day."
"Yep, I did," she said. "And I got to go with my mama to wowk."
"I knoooow," Macy said. Drake knew by the way she said it that something was happening. She remained quiet, but her fluctuation revealed the panic in her voice. Seconds later, Drake felt a heavy weight collapse onto him, squishing him and making him shift to the side. He knew it was Macy because the weight of the person leaning on him was significantly heavier than that of a petite four-year-old.
"She's coming over here. Just be quiet," he heard Macy whisper urgently.
"Just let me get up and explain this to her," he whispered back.
"No!" Macy's whisper was impassive, so Drake decided to sit there and wait it out even though he hated every second of hiding from Isabel.
"Why awe you sitting like this?" Isabel asked.
Drake could hear that her voice was closer. He could even hear her little low giggle at the sight of Macy.
"Why awe you being this silly, Aunt Macy?"
"Because... you little rascal." Macy left the couch, and went to the little girl, sweeping her off her feet in an effort to distract her.
"Awe you going to yew wace?"
"Yes ma'am, I am. And what are you doing up so early?"
"I was lookin' fow Dwake," she said. "I fought he was still out hewe."
"Why'd you think that?" Macy asked.
"Because he came to my house aftew the birfday pawty, and him and my mom were tellin' each othew stuff while I was sleeping."
"How'd you hear them if you were sleeping?" Macy asked.
"I didn't. I just saw them."
"Then how'd you know what they were talking about?"
"I just did."
"Did you spy on your mama?" Macy asked playfully.
"I just saw them sitting out hewe, and then I closed my eyes."
"Well, you did good."
"But I thought Dwake would be hewe when I woke up."
"Aww, I'm sorry," Macy said.
"Is he gonna be my dad, you fink?" Isabel asked the question as if it were the next logical thing to say.
"Noooo, goodness, no," Macy said, instantly. Drake could hear her begin to pace, walking away from the couch and into the kitchen. He was not a hide under a blanket type of guy, but he sat there, at war in his own thoughts about what would be best for the child—to stay hidden or come out and be honest with her.
Macy continued by switching the subject to breakfast cereal, but Isabel's words kept replaying in his head. She had been so sweet and genuine when she asked, that the memory of it made Drake's heart break. His chest was in physical pain at the memory of how expectant and sweet she had sounded when she asked. He hated himself for hiding, but didn't know what else to do. He was sitting there, listening to the girls talk quietly about cereal from the nearby kitchen when he heard a door open, followed by the sound of footfall.
"Oh, my goodness, thank goodness," Tabitha's voice said. "I was so sleepy when she got up that I just forgot things might not be in order out here, and I sent her straight out. I totally forgot there was a chance that…"
"That I'd be at the race already?" Macy asked, cutting her sister off. "Nope, I'm here. It's early, though. Why don't you guys go back to bed for a few minutes?"
"I don't think I could go back to sleep," Tabitha said.
"I couldn't eithew. I wanted to get up cause I thought Dwake was gonna be ovew hewe."
"Why'd you think that?" Tabitha asked, crossing to the kitchen.
"Cause I saw him ovew hewe when I was sleeping."
"Well, he did see us home and tuck you in last night," Tabitha said.
"Uh-huh," Isabel returned.
Drake heard them make a kissing sound and then a moaning sound like there was a hug taking place.
"Good morning, little peanut."
"Mownin'," Isabel said.
"Why don't you guys go get a little more rest?" Macy asked.
"Mom, is he evew gonna come ovew to my house again?" Isabel asked.
Drake could take it no longer. She was so expectant and precious that there was no way he could just sit there and let them talk about him like he wasn't there. He did the unthinkable. He cleared his throat. It was a really short, respectable throat-clearing, but he could no longer remain silent.
"Did you heaw that?" Isabel asked.
"I think you two are exhausted!" Macy said. "It is way too early to be up. Just go back to bed for a few minutes and I'll wake you up when I leave for the race. This place is a mess, and if you'll just go back to bed for like ten minutes—or even five—I could clean up a little bit, and everything would be back to normal." Macy's tone definitely implied that she was speaking in code to her sister, and there were a few seconds of silence while Tabitha put the pieces together. "It's too early for you to be up on a weekend, anyway," Macy urged. "I'll clean up the apartment, and then it'll be nice and clean when you wake up."
"I don't think it's diwty on the fiwst place," Isabel said.
"I think Aunt Macy's right," Tabitha said with understanding in her tone. "It's really early. I think maybe we should wake it up easy for a few minutes."
Drake stayed still, but his heart dropped at her words. He knew she expected him to be gone when they woke up, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought she wouldn't be able to let him leave now that she knew he was there. Obviously, he was mistaken, because the next thing he knew, there was the sound of a door closing, and Macy whispered, "Okay, the coast is clear."
Chapter 9
Isabel and I had only been in the bed for a few seconds when I hopped up again. "Stay here for just a minute," I said. "I'm gonna come lay by you, but I have to ask Aunt Macy something real quick."
Isabel smiled and nodded at me. She was too sweet and innocent to draw attention to my erratic behavior, a fact for which I was extremely grateful.
"I'll be right back," I said from over my shoulder at the door. Isabel waved at me from her place in the middle of my queen-sized bed, and I knew by how comfortable she was that she was staying in place—at least for a minute.
I turned and made my way to the living room as quickly as possible. Macy was folding up the blanket that Drake had been using for cover, and she gave me a wide-eyed glance when she saw me.
"Where is he?" I asked.
She tossed her thumb over her shoulder. "Gone."
She looked at me like I should be relieved—like I would be ecstatic to learn that he had left. My face fell, and with it, so did hers. I knew I needed to let him leave, but I couldn’t stand the thought of knowing he was close by and still just letting him walk away without even seeing him.
"I hate for him to leave. I really wish I would have told him goodbye."
She pointed to the hallway again, still wearing a slightly confused expression. "I'm sure you can catch him," she said. "He just walked out the door."
I instantly took off in the direction of Drake, but then I was pulled back to Isabel. I glanced at Macy with a pleading expression. "Could you please go lay by Isabel for a minute? Just tell her I'll be right back?"
Macy smiled and nodded. I was so relieved to have her there to cover with Isabel. I walked toward the door, thinking about all the things I'd say to Drake when I caught up with him. I'd thank him for a fun evening and for staying till Macy got home even though it almost got us both in trouble.
He was already way down the hall by the time I opened the door and stepped out of my apartment. He had pressed the button for the elevator and was standing in front of it, waiting for the door to open. He saw my movement in the hallway, and he looked my way.
I smiled and made a tiptoeing gesture that included putting my finger over my mouth like I was trying to be quiet as I headed toward him. He smiled and started walking in my direction. There were five or six doors between us, and we closed the distance, both of us smiling like we were relieved to see each other. He was gorgeous, a
nd my heart fluttered as a result of being on the receiving end of his smile. Neither of us said anything, but his smile faded as we closed the gap and came to stand only a foot or two apart.
He was going to kiss me—I knew it by the way he looked at me. I maybe should have said something to stop him. There was a second or two where I could have done or said something to stop him. The thing was, I didn't want him to stop. I wanted more than anything to kiss Drake Salinger, so when he leaned in to put his mouth on mine, I not only let it happen, but I grabbed onto him, gripping his forearms in a way that definitely encouraged him.
I had talked to him so much the night before that I felt like I knew him for who he was—like he had let me see his heart, his soul, what he was really about. I knew I should feel guilty about desiring him so much, and I had done my best to discourage any physical contact the night before, but there was absolutely nothing I cold do to stop myself from falling headlong into his kiss.
I wanted so badly to be close to Drake that it was literally impossible for me to do anything but kiss him back. He kissed me like he assumed that's what I had come out there to do. And you know what? Maybe I had.
Drake kissed me deeply, and I let him, pulling him closer for several long, intense seconds before we finally and reluctantly broke contact. We were both breathless as we stared at each other wearing half smiles. I stretched up and put another kiss right on his mouth just to let him know how I felt about the first one. This caused his smile to widen.
"I just came out to tell you goodbye," I whispered.
His hand had been resting lightly on the back of my waist, but he gave me a little squeeze, which prompted me to hug him. I placed the side of my face on his chest and gave him a tight hug, holding onto him in much the same way Isabel had done. It felt great, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized Drake was holding me as tightly as I was holding him. We stayed like that for a few seconds before I took a step back. I smiled at him and bit my lip as if uncertain of what to say. "Thank you," I said. "Thanks for everything. I had a lot of fun last night, and so did Isabel."
Love Stung (Shower & Shelter Artist Collective Book 5) Page 6