I almost never held back from sparring with Jerome, but today I did. Why? Because there was nothing I could say, no bargain I could make with him. I’d negotiated a number of favors and allowances in my years with him, things specifically pertaining to my existence here within Seattle. That was his domain. But the rest of the world? That was out of his control. There was nothing he could do to change this reassignment, even if he wanted to. There was nothing I could do either. You just couldn’t fight against some things. Hell was one of them. When I’d signed my soul away, I’d signed away control of my eternity to them as well.
“It’s not fair.” Guessing Jerome’s snappy retort, I quickly added, “I know, you don’t have to say it. Life isn’t fair. I get it. But it’s just . . . it’s just cruel. Seth and I finally managed a working relationship. And now I have to leave him.”
Jerome shook his head, and I could tell by his restless stance that he was ready to go. His patience with this conversation was running thin.
“You know, I might miss some of your witticisms when you’re gone, but one thing I won’t miss? Your overwhelming sense of melodrama and despair. It’s too much even for me.”
The sorrow and self-pity within me transformed to anger. “I’m sorry, but this is serious to me! How can I not be upset? I love Seth. I don’t want to leave him.”
“So don’t. Take him with you. Or date long distance. I honestly don’t give a fuck, so long as you stop your whining. How can you not see solutions here? You’ve apparently decided that you being immortal isn’t a deterrent to your great love . . . but a two-hour plane ride is?”
I felt kind of cowed. Normally, I resented Jerome for mocking me when I was upset because I blamed it on his lack of empathy. But now, I had to admit that maybe he was onto something about me being overly melodramatic. Why couldn’t I take Seth with me? If Seth really loved me, a move shouldn’t be a problem. And of all the jobs in the world, he had one of the best suited for a change of venue. Unfortunately, it was a bit more complicated than that. I sighed.
“I don’t know if he would. His family’s here, and his sister-in-law’s sick. He can’t leave them anytime soon. . . .”
Jerome shrugged. “We’re back to the part where I don’t give a fuck. I do, however, care that you go there to visit sooner rather than later. Luis asked if I’d send you down in advance to scope out the area for a couple of days. Seeing as bowling practice doesn’t start until Monday, I can’t help but think this weekend would be an excellent time to get that out of the way. I’m happy to oblige him—but not at the cost of interfering with my team.”
“Really?” I scoffed. “You expect me to care about bowling in light of all this?”
He gave me a thin-lipped smile. “Seeing as you’re still my employee for the next four weeks, yes. I expect you to care about it immensely.” He glanced over at Roman, who had observed all of this silently. “And I expect you to come up with an excellent training regimen for them. I’ll see you both then.”
Jerome vanished in a poof of smoke, further verifying how self-satisfied he felt about all of this. Losing me might be inconvenient for him, but I think his demon nature still took some delight in seeing the torment of others.
I covered my eyes and rolled over to lie flat on the couch. “Oh God. What am I going to do? This can’t be happening.”
Breaking up with Seth last year had torn my heart apart. I had wanted to die. Being reunited with him had felt like being born anew. I’d loved life, even my damned one. Now I was starting to feel that terrible, aching desperation again. It wasn’t possible that someone could go through so many extreme ups and downs in so short a time span. Welcome to being in love, I thought.
I felt Roman sit down by my feet. A moment later, both cats joined us. I uncovered my eyes and found his sea green ones staring down at me. “He wasn’t exactly tactful, but I have to admit he had a point. Why wouldn’t Seth just move with you?”
“Under normal circumstances . . .” I had to pause in order to not start laughing. Our circumstances were never normal. “Under normal circumstances, he would. But like I was saying, with Andrea, I don’t even think he can. And honestly, I wouldn’t want him to.” I didn’t realize that was true until I spoke the words. If Seth dropped everything to run off with me, he would be hurting both himself and his family for my sake. I could never allow that. My heart sank. “I can’t believe this. How could this have come about so quickly? I was so happy.”
Roman scratched Aubrey’s head and leaned back. “That’s an excellent question. This was all kind of sudden. Is that how it normally is?”
“Well, I mean, we never get much warning of transfers. Sometimes you know a re-org is coming. Sometimes you get one after requesting a transfer. Usually, though, someone has a meeting, plans your fate, and you find out about it later. The only weird thing here was Jerome apparently having less notice than me.”
Roman had been staring at the ceiling and then snapped his head back to look at me. I flinched under the intensity of his gaze. “Explain that again. What happened and what was unusual.”
I started to tell him I’d just explained it but instead swallowed off any sharp retort, knowing he wasn’t the true source of my irritation. “Normally, your archdemon meets with you to tell you the details, and then the letter with the transfer date follows. This happened so fast that I got the letter before Jerome had a chance to talk to me.”
“Hell doesn’t do things without a reason.” He reconsidered. “Well, impromptu bowling competitions aside. But they like their bureaucracy, their paperwork, and all their details in order. Even if they quickly decided to do a transfer, they’d still follow all their inane procedures. For the letter to have jumped ahead of Jerome getting his instructions, things must have been seriously expedited. The question: why? Why such a rush to get you out of Seattle?”
I couldn’t help a smile. “You’re looking for a conspiracy here. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think this sucks. It’s terrible. But I don’t think there’s anything more to it than what Jerome said about me skimping at my job. Which . . . well, which is my fault.”
“Yes, but Hell deals with bad employees all the time. They go through reams of procedure to figure out the best way to deal with those people. Pop might be right that Hell can’t tolerate mediocre workers, but it’s not to the extent that they have to deal with it right that second. What’s so special about you that someone would suddenly decide to initiate a hasty transfer?”
I appreciated that Roman was trying to help me, but I didn’t want to get caught up in what could easily become an obsessive quest for him. Nephilim had serious grudges with Heaven and Hell and were always looking for ways to challenge and thwart them. Roman himself had once gone on a killing spree of higher immortals. There was something in his nature that wanted there to be more than bad luck here, but I just wasn’t sure I believed there was.
Carter’s words echoed in my head, no matter how much I tried to shrug them off: If there’s a reason, it’s because you’ve been doing something Hell doesn’t want you to do.
“You should talk to Carter,” I muttered. “He’s certain there’s a reason too.” Seeing Roman’s expectant look, I halfheartedly tried to humor him. “I don’t know what it could be. Maybe because I got captured by Oneroi? Maybe they’re worried I’m unstable or something. Or that this isn’t a safe place for me.”
Roman nodded along with my words. “That does make you special. However, if I was worried about an employee losing it, I’d want to keep them in a place where I knew they felt stable. I’m sure Hell knows you’re happy here, and if anything, they might think that experience bound you to Jerome more closely. They’d want to encourage that loyalty.”
“Hell doesn’t need to encourage loyalty,” I told him. “All they care about is that I signed my soul over to them. That’s bigger than loyalty.”
A startled look crossed his face. “That is all they care about. Georgina, when did this happen? Exactly when did this ha
ppen?”
“Er, the letter?”
There was a fanatic look in his eyes. No question. He was getting obsessed. “Yes.”
“This morning. It showed up at Seth’s. I sensed the courier and woke up to it.”
“You were at Seth’s. What were you doing at the time? What were you doing just before then?” He’d stopped petting Aubrey, and she slithered toward me in a huff, seeking a more attentive audience. “Walk me backward from that point.”
“Well, like I said, I was sleeping. Before that . . .” I winced, remembering getting into bed with Ian. “I met Seth’s mom and younger brother. Before that, I was at Peter’s fondue party. Before that, I was at the mall—”
“Peter’s. Tell me about Peter’s. Did anything weird happen to you there?”
I cut him a look. “It was a fondue party at a vampire’s. Everything about that is weird.”
“I’m trying to help you!” There was a strained, agitated quality to his voice as he leaned toward me. “Just hold off on the jokes, okay? Think. What happened—to you specifically? What did you talk about? What did they say to you?”
I was growing increasingly uncomfortable at his intensity. “They were teasing me about my job,” I said.
“Jerome too?”
“Of course. He said me being an elf was an embarrassment and that I should do something else.” A shocking thought hit me. “Roman . . . you don’t think Jerome requested the transfer, did you? Could he really be that upset with me? That embarrassed?”
“I don’t know,” admitted Roman. He absentmindedly ran a hand through his curling dark hair. “It’s possible. Some of the weirdness might be explained away if Jerome was trying to hide that he initiated all this. But then, it’s not like any of your other friends are exactly normal. If something was going to embarrass Jerome enough to get rid of an employee, I kind of feel like there would have been a lot of other opportunities before you. Anything else come up?”
“I asked them about—” I hesitated. The topic was still sensitive for me. It was hard to mention to Roman, and I could hardly believe I’d had the guts to bring it up to the gang that night. Roman caught my uncertainty and pounced. “What? What else? What did you ask them about?”
I waited a few more moments and then decided to tell him. It couldn’t hurt, and besides, for all I knew, Roman had mentioned my name to Seth.
“About a month ago, when we were in bed, Seth called me Letha when he was half-asleep. When I asked him how he knew that name, he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t even remember calling me that. So, I asked the group that night if any of them had told my name to Seth.”
“And?”
“And they all said no. Cody didn’t even know my name. I got berated for being melodramatic again, and the general consensus was that Seth had just overheard it from me or someone else and forgotten.”
Roman was silent, which was almost more unnerving than him grilling me. I straightened up and nudged him.
“Hey, you didn’t tell Seth, did you?”
“Huh? No.” He frowned, caught up in his own thoughts. “What did Jerome think? Did he concur with that theory?”
“Yes. He thought me bringing it up was a total waste of time and didn’t hesitate to tell me. He was so bored by it that he started talking about bowling instead.”
“That’s when he told you about the bowling team? The bowling team that came out of nowhere?”
“Yeah. . . .” Now I was frowning. It was clear that Roman’s thoughts were running off to a place I wasn’t at or able to follow. “Why? What are you thinking? Is this related somehow?”
“I don’t know,” he said at last. He stood up and paced the living room a couple of times. “I need to think about this. I need to ask some questions. What are you going to do now?”
I rose as well and stretched, suddenly feeling weary. “I need to talk to Seth. I have to tell him what happened. And I suppose . . .” I made a face. “If I do have to go to Las Vegas, this weekend is the time to do it.”
“So you don’t miss bowling practice?” teased Roman.
“That, and I have it off from work. Seth’s pretty tied up with his family in town, which makes it another good time to go. Although . . . it’d kind of be nice if he went with me. I mean, if he was going to think about moving, he could check it out too.” Yet, again, that worry returned to me: how could I ask Seth to abandon Terry and Andrea?
“Actually,” said Roman, humor vanishing, “I think it’s best he doesn’t go.”
“Why not?”
“Because whatever the reasons, something’s just not right about this. I don’t know what’s waiting for you in Las Vegas. Maybe nothing. But I just feel like there’s a larger hand in all of this, guiding it, and that it’s safest for Seth if you don’t drag him into immortal drama.” Roman’s face softened. “I’m actually not thrilled about you facing it alone, but I’m not sure me walking into a hotbed of immortal activity is so smart either.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said, trying to not be put off by his ominous words. “No matter how terrible a transfer is, I have to admit, I got kind of lucky with this one. I mean, I’m not saying I trust any demons, but if I had to, it would be Luis. He’s really great, and Vegas is, well, Vegas. Like I said. I got lucky.”
Roman grew thoughtful again. “Yes. Yes, you did.”
The next day, I found Seth later at his brother’s house. Andrea had had another treatment that day and was sleeping it off. Seth and Margaret were helping take care of the household as best they could, cooking a late dinner and watching the girls. I arrived at about the same time as Terry got home from work, and our double entrance was greeted with shouts and hugs. I scooped Kayla up in my arms and kissed her while Terry asked what I had been wondering.
“Where’s Ian?”
Seth and Margaret exchanged looks. “Ian had some things to do,” she said neutrally.
“Yeah,” agreed Seth. “In the form of scoping out ironic parts of Seattle.”
So much for Ian stepping up to help the family. No doubt he’d found new hipster friends at a coffee shop and was now hanging out with them somewhere, drinking PBR and regaling them with stories of all the obscure bands he knew.
Terry smiled good-naturedly. “Well, that’s his loss because dinner smells great. More for us.” He swung Kendall around and kissed his other daughters before going upstairs to check on Andrea. I felt a lump form in my throat as I watched him go. He put on such a good face for the kids, but I knew this had to be tearing his heart apart. My own petty concerns seemed exactly that: petty. Small. Inconsequential.
Nonetheless, news of the transfer weighed on my mind throughout dinner. I’d wanted to wait until Seth and I were alone at his place, but my face must have betrayed my feelings.
“Hey,” he said gently, slipping an arm around me. The family was gathered in the living room, starting a movie, while Seth and I stood in the doorway to the kitchen. “Everything okay?” I hesitated, unsure about bringing it up here. Sensing that, he pulled me into the privacy of the kitchen. “Thetis, talk to me.”
“I got some bad news today,” I began. I tried to think of a clever or funny way to lead into it, but nothing came. So, I just blurted it all out, explaining the inarguable nature of transfers and the details of mine.
“Las Vegas,” he said flatly. He looked as though he’d been slapped. “You’re moving to Las Vegas.”
“Not for a month,” I said, clasping his hands. “And believe me, I don’t want to. God, Seth. I still can’t believe it. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Hey, don’t apologize. Not for this.” He drew me near, the kindness and compassion on his face nearly making me cry. “This isn’t your fault. You have nothing to be sorry about.”
I shook my head. “I know, but . . . it’s just so crazy. I thought this was it. Our chance to be together. And now I don’t know what to do. I can’t ask you to . . .”
“Ask me to what?”
I leaned my head ag
ainst his chest. “Come with me.”
He was quiet for a few moments. “Would they let me? I always thought . . . I mean, whenever you’ve talked about your past, it always sounded like you reinvented yourself. New name, new appearance. I thought you had to leave your past life behind.”
“I have, but that was always just my choice. For you . . . I mean, of course I wouldn’t do that. I’d stay Georgina Kincaid, just as you know her. But you can’t leave them.” I gestured to the living room. “It’s not worth it.”
Seth moved his hands to my head, tilting my face up so I could look him in the eye. “Georgina,” he said softly. “I love you. You’re worth it. You’re everything to me. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. And beyond.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” I smiled sadly. “And I’m not everything. You love them too. And you’d hate yourself for running off with me while they need you so much.”
“So, what? You’ve made my choice for me?” he asked. There was a playful note to his voice, despite the deadly seriousness of the topic. “Are we breaking up?”
“No! Of course not. I just . . . I just want you to know that I don’t expect you to come with me. Do I want to be with you? Yes, of course. But I love your family, Seth. I love all of them. My happiness . . .” It was strange, speaking those words. My happiness. For so long, I’d been miserable. Happiness wasn’t even a concept I’d imagined for myself in ages. “My happiness isn’t worth theirs.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. “What about mine?”
I stared in astonishment. “Are you saying you’d abandon them and run off to Las Vegas?”
“No,” he said firmly. “I would never abandon them. But there must be some middle ground here. Some way that doesn’t involve sacrificing us or them. We just have to figure it out. What we have is too important. Don’t give up on us yet, okay?”
I hugged him, losing myself in the sweetness of his warmth and scent. My heart had lightened a little at his words, but I still didn’t want to get my hopes up. There was too much at stake, still too much that could go wrong.
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