by K. S. Adkins
“Boyfriend?” asks Tony, finally speaking, and I don’t have the energy to answer.
“How is she?” I ask.
“She’s suffered severe head trauma. We were able to relieve the excess pressure, and have closed the wound, but she has lost a lot of blood, and is severely concussed,” he says.
“She will be monitored for the next couple of days, then she’ll be released, but she’ll need 24 hour care for the next few days following,” she says.
“She’ll be with me,” I say, barely getting the words out. “When can I see her?”
“She’s being taken to a room now. Ms. Kowalski will be her nurse tonight, so she’ll let you know when you can go in. Please observe the hospital's rules in terms of visitors,” he says.
“Thanks, Doc.” I say.
“Doc, thank you,” says the Cap.
“I’ll be back to get you shortly,” she says, and we all just stand there not moving. Not knowing what do to. Of course, Gallo had to break the fucking ice.
“Where the fuck were you?” he says.
“Out.”
“Out?” he yells. “Out? While she’s nearly killed? I should have protected her myself.”
“I protect her,” I say. “She’s mine.”
“We’ll see about that,” he says, but chooses to go make calls, instead of arguing with me.
“I’ll be back tonight. I have a crime scene in my club to take care of,” says Max, walking away.
Max and Tony share a nod, and some small talk, but then Max leaves without another word.
Rafe and the Captain are having their own discussion and I’m just stuck. I notice the officers, and look at the Cap, and he tells me they’re here to watch her room. I nod in appreciation.
The only person I have ever loved just had brain surgery, my only friend is sitting with the only father figure I’ve ever known, and my competition is staring holes in my head. I could kill him, but I just look at the photos of us instead.
The pain is too much. To be in this kind of pain means I’m alive, but I’m wondering if death would be preferable to this. So much noise. I hear voices. Several. I just can’t make out who they belong to, it hurts too much. Why is everyone yelling? I can’t move my arms or legs, I’m just so tired. Where am I? What happened?
“It’s Macy, can you hear me?” she asks.
“Macy?” I try, but my throat really hurts.
“I’m here,” she says. “You’re in the hospital, you need to rest, and I’m here to take care of you. We all are.”
“Ro-gan?” I ask.
“He’s here, too,” she says. “Hasn’t left your side. Are you in pain?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Head hurts.”
“I’m going to give you something for the pain,” she says. “I’ll be right back. Love you.”
“Love you.”
“Angel,” he says quietly. “It’s me.”
“Rogue—“
“Shh,” he whispers. “Don’t talk, rest. I’m not leaving you.”
“Happened?”
“You don’t remember?”
“No,” I say. “Trying to.”
“Rest first,” he says, leaning down to me. “I thought I lost you, Angel. Don’t ever leave me again.”
“Won’t.”
“I’m giving you meds, now. It’s going to work fast, so just close your eyes, and know that we’ll be here when you wake up.” Macy’s voice is a comfort, and the medicine hits fast like she promised. I wanted to say thank you, but I don’t remember getting the words out.
I don’t remember anything.
I wake up on and off, having no idea what time it was, but I still can’t move. I hate being drugged up. I can’t think, can’t speak. I focus my eyes, and I see Rogan and Rafe, sleeping sitting up. I blink to clear my eyes, and I see Tony sitting alone. I lean my head a bit more to see if Macy is here, but catch Tony’s attention instead.
“Baby,” he says. “Fuck.”
“I’m okay.”
“No, you’re really not,” he says, touching my lips with his fingers. “You had brain surgery.”
He notices my alarm, everything starts beeping, and I can’t breathe. Did he just say brain surgery? Why would I need to have brain surgery?
“Venessa, look at me,” says Macy, crowding in. “You’re safe, you’re healing. You did have brain surgery, but you will make a full recovery, okay?”
“Why?”
“Still don’t remember?” she asks.
“No,” I say, closing my eyes.
“Where’s your pain?”
“9.”
“Okay, here you go,” she says, rubbing my cheek. “I know you don’t like feeling like this, but let me keep the pain away for now, okay?”
“Kay.”
As I drift back off, I hear Rogan and Rafe yelling at Tony, Rogan trying to get to me, with Macy yelling at everyone. Maybe I’ll just rest a bit longer.
I wake up to Rogan’s face. You’d think I’d jump or scream, but it’s just what I needed. I’m so tired of floating, and I need to feel grounded. I feel his hand in mine, and I wiggle my fingers and he smiles. I missed that smile. He looks so tired. He’s blaming himself, I can see it. Moving my hand, I bring it up to touch his face. When he continues to look lost, I tug on his beard.
“Don’t.”
“I wasn’t there,” he says, looking away from me. “I wasn’t fucking there.”
“Here now,” I say. “Missed you.”
“Don’t let me off the hook,” he says, still not looking at me. “I don’t deserve it.”
“Look at me,” I say, and when he does, I go back to squeezing his hand. “Love you so much.”
“I failed you.”
“I love you.”
“You almost—“
“I. Love. You.”
“Angel,” he sighs. “I love you, too.”
“Kiss me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Please.” Which is a word I rarely use, and it must have worked, because he did kiss me gently. Looking each other in the eyes is exactly what we both needed.
“Tired.”
“Rest, I’m right here.”
I don’t argue, I do as I’m told.
Again, I close my eyes and drift. I hear Rogan and Tony talking, and it sounds like they’ve come to some sort of truce. I hear Tony ask him how I was, and he answered ‘getting there’ without taking a swing. If that’s progress, I’ll take it.
It’s Thursday, three days post op, when she really comes around. Less drugs, more cursing, means she’s getting back to her old self. I’ve gotten to know Macy a lot better over these last four days, and she’s become like a sister to me now. I’d go to bat for her any day. Apparently, same goes for Rafe. Every minute he isn’t working is spent here. I know he loves Venessa, but he’s here for Macy, and Venessa knows it too. Seems to me the only two people who don’t know, are the two people directly involved. I’m so glad she and I never pulled that bullshit.
Max gave us the name James Laurel, and so far we’ve got nothing that matches the description. A sketch artist will be meeting with Max, and we’re hoping showing Venessa will help her remember. The Captain is on his way here and has been worried like only a dad would. He’s got every available man on the case, so I’ve been updating him so he can focus on catching this asshole.
Another issue is Gallo. Fucker will not vacate the premises. We called a silent truce, because we were upsetting Venessa, but once we’re both outside that door? Visitor rules won’t apply.
I fed Venessa something resembling jello this morning. I told her she needed it to recover, so she told me if I liked it so much that I should eat it. To make a point, I did. Then I promptly spit it right back out.
The neurologist, Dr. Bozworth, came in and removed her bandages. Her hair hides the staples, and the portion they had to shave. Macy and I were there talking her through it. I held her hands, while Macy held the mirror. The staples and even the
loss of hair don’t even faze her; she doesn’t have a vain bone in her body.
My anxiety is spiking, because tomorrow is Friday. Will James Laurel make good on his threat? Will he come for her here? We have no news on any ‘James Laurel’, and Venessa isn’t ready to look at a sketch with her vision still being blurred and the constant headaches. She’s constantly trying to comfort me, and I hate it. I’m fighting a ghost here.
James Laurel pays with cash and isn’t on any surveillance from the club that Max could find. How could one person be so forgettable? The Captain has devoted all of his time to tracking this guy down, and outside of him and Max stopping in, Rafe, Tony and I haven’t left, and I don’t think Macy has even slept.
Macy says if the tests come back well, she could be released as early as tomorrow or Saturday. I just want her home with me, where she’s safe. She’s so vulnerable in that bed, hooked up to machines. She’s sick of being here, and I can’t blame her. She keeps telling Rafe and Tony to go home, but fucking Tony won’t leave.
The Captain comes in, looking older than I’ve ever seen him. Venessa hears the door and opens her eyes to look at her visitor. She smiles when she sees him, and there are tears in his eyes. This must be killing the old man. He hasn’t even told his wife for fear it would crush her.
“Baby girl,” he says, kissing her on the cheek.
“Cap,” she says. “You look like shit.”
“You look beautiful,” he says. “Like always.”
“You aren’t stealing my meds, are you?” she asks, laughing.
“How are you, really?”
“Much better. I’m in good hands.” She looks over and smiles at me.
“Still no memory?”
“It’s gray,” she says. “I remember going down, and that’s it.”
“It’s a good thing Max found you when he did.”
“I must have been doing inventory, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he says. “Max and Rogue confirmed you were there to place orders. Just relax, okay? It will come back when it’s supposed to.”
“I may get to go home tomorrow,” she says. “I think they try to kill you with the food here, anyway, and no one will bring me a Coney dog so, I’m ready to bail.”
“You listen to Macy and the doctor,” he says. “You had a close call, baby girl.”
“I need to use the bathroom, Cap. Help me up?” she asks, and I come forward, too.
We both walk her over, with her mumbling she can do it herself. Between the two of us, we support her weight, but she refuses to be incapable. She does her thing, washes her hands, and knocks on the door to let us know she’s ready. Looking at her face, just that small effort took its toll on her.
She’s sitting up in bed now, trying to drink her cranberry juice and eat some crackers. She gets Tony’s attention, who’s still been far too quiet and contemplative for my taste.
“You’re so quiet over there.”
“I just don’t want to disturb you,” he says, getting up.
“Have you gone home yet?”
“When they release you, I’ll head home. In the meantime, I keep busy,” he says, smirking.
“Thanks, Tony,” she says. “For staying.”
“For you, baby,” he says. “No place else I’d rather be.” When he touches her face, I imagine myself ripping his throat out.
“Tony,” she says. “Please, call me Venessa.”
“Fair enough,” he says. “We’re in mixed company. I’ll respect that for now.”
“Tony.” She sighs, changing the subject. “How’s Max?”
“Worried for you,” he says. “He’ll be here later to check on you, I’m sure. Rest for now, I’ve got the word out. I’ll find out who’s behind this.”
“I’ll remember soon,” she says. “When I do, I’ll—“
“You’ll let me handle it, baby.”
“I’m standing right here, fucker,” I remind him, crowding his space.
“I’m aware,” he says. “I’m also aware that your resources are very limited, compared to mine.”
“Why don’t we take this outside,” I say. “Let her rest.”
“How did you even know she was here, Mr. Black?”
“What are you getting at, Tony?”
“It’s just a question, baby,” he says. “That’s all.”
“Call her baby again,” I threaten.
“Something on your mind?” he asks. “Perhaps you have something to share?”
“What’s your angle?” I ask. “You trying to upset her?”
“She deserves honesty,” he says. “She deserves to know what’s going on, and we all know it. Tell her.”
“Tell me what?”
“Just rest, Angel,” I say. “We’re going to talk outside.”
“No,” she argues. “Not until you tell me what’s going on.”
“This is not the time,” says the Captain. “Let them hash it out, Venessa, you need your rest.”
“Stop fucking babying me,” she snaps. “Tony knows something, and so do both of you. Now tell me.”
“Here, I’ll help,” says Tony, smiling. “Mr. Black, tell Venessa how you knew where to find her. Because Max brought her here and contacted me once he arrived, so isn’t it strange you would know to be here? Why is that?”
“What is he talking about?” she asks, looking at each of us, but really looking at me. “Rogan, tell me.”
“I put an app tracker in your phone,” says the Captain. “Full audio, with tracking capabilities 24/7. If the phone was on, he could hear you and locate you.”
“Why?” she asks, then I see right when it clicks. “You’ve kept tabs on me haven’t you? Both of you?”
“Yes,” he says. “For your own protection. I assigned Rogan to monitor all of your activity, including all calls, audio, and your whereabouts.”
“I see. I’d like you all to get the fuck out of my room, now.”
Not even sparing me a glance, she turns on her side, away from me, and covers herself up like she’s cold.
“Angel,” I say. “Let me explain.”
“No,” she whispers. “I get it now. It all makes sense. Get out, Rogan, and take them with you.”
“Baby,” says Tony.
“You enjoyed this, Tony, so you can just fuck right off, too. Out.”
“I’m not leaving until we talk.”
She pushes a button, and seconds later, Macy runs in.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Get them out of here, Macy,” she says. “Out of my sight.”
“Whatever happened, you three can figure it out somewhere else.”
“I ain’t leaving,” I say, crossing my arms.
Macy walks out, and then right back in, with Rafe by her side. “Jonas, escort these three out of the room,” she says. “Venessa wants to be alone.”
“What the fuck happened in the five minutes I was gone?” he asks.
“Again, allow me,” says Tony. “The Captain and Rogan, here, chipped Venessa’s phone. As you can see, she’s very upset about having her privacy destroyed. I imagine she’s feeling very violated right now.”
“You never told her?” he asks the Captain, then he’s looking at me. “Why didn’t you fucking tell her?”
“Not now, Rafe,” I say. “I need to talk to her, alone.”
“She wants you gone, then it’s time to go,” he says, looking around. “All of you.”
“You wanna do this with me?” I ask, stepping into his space.
“I’ll fucking do this with you,” he says. “The fuck were you thinking?”
“I’ll be out in the hall, if you need me, baby,” says Tony.
“Fuck off Tony,” she says.
“Captain,” says Macy. “Let’s go.”
“Venessa,” he says, walking toward the exit. “I only did what I thought was best. I won’t apologize for caring about you.”
The Captain leaves, Tony is fucking begging for it, Rafe is between us now, and
Macy is next to Venessa’s side.
“Gallo,” states Rafe. “Get the fuck gone. Last time I’m asking.”
“I’ll be outside, partner,” he says, glaring at me, then walking out.
“Don’t fucking start,” I say.
“Out,” he says. “This isn’t about you right now, it’s about her. She doesn’t need this from you, too. I’ll stay with her. Go.”
“Angel,” I say. “I’ll be right outside.”
She doesn’t answer me, but I really didn’t expect her to.
Physical pain, forgotten. My heart is fucking crushed. The man I trusted above all others betrayed me. I pull the covers higher and grip them with both hands, fighting back the tears. So many scenarios are fighting for dominance in my damaged brain. My private calls to Macy. My conversations with Tony. His reactions to both. He heard everything. The feeling of being followed. Was it him all along? Why take the job of guarding me if he could track me? What is ripping me in half is that, had he told me, I’d have been honest with him anyway. I would have told him anything he wanted to know. But he didn’t ask, he took.
He stole my privacy, shared it with the captain. He stole secrets that were never his to hear. They were between me and my best friend. Any talks I had with Tony I told him about. What was all this a test? Rafe was surprised he didn’t tell me, so yeah, he knew, too. Get the fucked up girl to fall for you, so you can play her. Get the fucked up girl to need your touch, your fucking presence, then use it to break her in half. Did I pass or fail?
I brought him into my world and all along… He didn’t trust me.
“Venessa,” Macy begs. “Talk to me?”
“Knock me out,” I say. “Let me forget.”
“You don’t mean that,” she whispers.
“Please, Macy,” I beg. “I’m gonna lose it, knock me out.”
“Do it, Macy,” says Rafe. “Give her some peace, I’ll be here.”
“You don’t understand,” she pleads. “She hates not being in control, Jonas, I can’t.”
“She isn’t in control now,” he says. “If she gets destructive, she’ll hurt herself.”
“You don’t get it!” she yells. “She is not a victim! I can’t let her act like one!”