by Sierra Rose
Chapter 27
My divorce papers came in the mail. I looked down at those papers in my hands. I was a wife...and now I wasn’t. I felt like I died the day my marriage ended. How did I face every single day? That’s easy. I took baby steps. Every. Damn. Day. But over time, I felt like I’d been reborn and I’d truly found peace. Being rejected by someone who swore to ‘love and cherish you for better or for worse’ is beyond painful. But I did learn there is life after divorce. Foster’s handsome face flashed in my mind. Yeah, I was already starting to see how much joy my new life could have if I’d only let go of the painful past and move forward.
Much to my surprise and disappointment, Alexis had to back out of our Caribbean trip, even after I’d already booked it, paid the deposits, and taken the time off work. Her boyfriend, Art, was taking her to the Smoky Mountains for a family reunion, and she didn’t want to miss it. His family was flying in from all over the United States. Art really wanted Alexis there and I understood that. I didn’t want to waste the tickets my parents had so lovingly gifted to us, so I decided I’d either go by myself or invite one of the girls.
In the meantime, Tom called. “We’re divorced,” he said. “It’s official.”
“Looks like I’m a free woman,” I said.
“Morgan, I’m so sorry...”
“Hey, marriage is hard. We’re human. We all make mistakes. So just move on with your life and forgive yourself. Just go be happy.”
“I want you to be happy too.”
“Thank you.”
And I knew the best way to be happy was to take Foster to the Caribbean with me.
Immature or not, I figured it would be somewhat fun to rub it in. It was the least I could do after I’d caught him rubbing one off with Adrian in the damn shower. “Hey,” I said, “you said things might have been different if I’d have been more spontaneous, right?”
“You can’t be spontaneous, Morgan. It’s not you. There’s not one spontaneous bone in your body.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“We’ll see about that. I’m going to ask somebody out.”
He laughed, then said goodbye and hung up.
I called Foster and asked if I could stop by.
“I’ll be off in a few hours,” he said.
“Good, because I’ve got some news for you, Mr. Mailman!”
A short while later, Erin, Lori, and Sophie stopped by, and I discussed my plans with them. “What even made you consider him?” Erin asked.
“Well, a few nights ago, I woke up at three a.m. I was sitting in this dark bedroom, in this lonely bed, with a gallon of chocolate ice cream, watching Grey’s Anatomy reruns.”
“You weren’t wearing flannel granny jammies, were you?” Lori asked.
I smirked at her, then continued. “Anyway, I took one look at my pathetic self and realized it’s time to stretch beyond my comfort zone, to seize the day. I know it’s a huge step to invite Foster on a trip like that, but I need to reach for the stars, to just go for it. Taking a chance means losing control, right? I’m a little scared, because I already feel like I’ve lost control of my life, but if I don’t take chances, then I’ll never be lucky in love.”
Sophie smiled. “Look at you! You got your confidence back.”
I grinned. “Maybe I’m getting my groove back.”
Lori winked. “Either that, or you’re getting drunk on love hormones.”
“Go with your gut, your intuition. It’ll lead you on the right path,” Erin said. “And lucky you, I’m starving to make a connection. How come my Prince Charming is a no-show? Why doesn’t Cupid’s arrow strike me?”
“Earth to Erin. Get those Cinderella dreams out of your head,” Lori said. “Prince Charming is fiction, for good reason.” She then looked at me. “This one is such a hopeless romantic. We’ve had to cut her off from all Nicholas Sparks books.”
I chuckled.
Sophie peered at me. “Be careful though, Morgan. You don’t know Foster that well. Don’t take any chances with your heart, or it might come back to bite you in the ass.”
“Mmm. I’d like to bite that postman’s—” Lori started.
“Hey!” I said, stopping her.
“Look, I say just go for it. Live life. Take big risks. Regret nothing. Date somebody totally wrong for you. Who cares? You’re not planning a wedding here. You’re just getting back on the playing field, getting experience, maybe even getting laid after a long, long, long, long, long—”
I tapped her. “Yeah, yeah. We get it.”
“After a long dry spell,” she continued.
I looked at my friends and smiled. “I’m gonna go for it! I’m going to ask Foster to come with me, and I hope he’ll say yes.”
We all burst out in laughter and squealed with excitement.
***
I pulled into Foster’s driveway. I was dressed in my butt-hugging skinny jeans, with a white shirt, and my hair was in a high ponytail. A million butterflies tumbled and jumped around in my belly, like Olympic gymnasts trying to win the gold.
He opened the door and stared into my eyes. “Hello, Morgan. You’re a vision.”
“Wow. You’ve just brightened my entire day,” I said.
He motioned me inside. “Come on in. Can I get you a soda?”
I grinned. “Nah, I’m good. Look, I have to ask you this before I lose my nerve. It’s really crazy, and I wanted to ask in person instead of on the phone. Please don’t feel any pressure. You’re absolutely free to say no, and I won’t take it personally.”
“Hmm. I do love a mysterious woman,” he said, his curiosity properly piqued.
I grinned again.
He pushed a stray strand of hair from my cheek. “Please don’t keep me in suspense. What is it.”
I smiled and sang, in my best Eddie Money, “I’ve got two tickets to paradise. Won’t you pack your bags? We’ll leave tonight.” I winked. “Not actually tonight, and I know it’s an old tune and I couldn’t carry a tune in a five-gallon bucket, but you get the drift, right?”
He took the tickets I was waving in front of him and quickly examined them. “What’s this?”
“I know it’s insane, and I’m taking a huge risk asking, but my parents bought us tickets to the Caribbean for this weekend, and Alexis can’t go, so your beautiful face popped into my head. I’m sure we’d have a great time.”
He smiled. “You know I’d love too.”
“I feel a ‘but’ coming.”
“Right. Morgan, you know I can’t go on a trip with a married woman. My father cheated on my mother all the time, and I promised myself I’d never do that.”
“But I’m not a married woman anymore,” I said, whipping out my divorce papers. “It’s final. “I’m a free woman.”
“It’s official?” he questioned.
“Yeah. I’ve closed that chapter in my life.”
“I’m sorry about the divorce and—”
“Pssh. Let’s not dwell on that. It’s in the past, where it belongs.” I shot him a flirty look. “The only thing I care about is whether or not you want to go with me.”
He didn’t even hesitate. “Hell yeah!”
“Can you find a babysitter and get off work?”
“My mom will watch the girls, and my boss owes me a huge favor.”
I kissed his lips as he picked me up and swung me around in his arms. His mouth claimed mine, and he slid his tongue in, thrusting deeply, exploring with a passion we couldn’t deny.
Chapter 28
Lori and Sophie came over, and my sister took the kids out back to play so we could talk.
“Are you really going with him to the Caribbean?” Sophie asked.
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t that kind of...sudden? What happened to taking it slow, like we talked about?”
“Well, I don’t wanna go by myself, and you guys all work this weekend.”
“Are you sure you’re ready?”
“No. I’m scare
d to death,” I admitted.
She patted my hand. “He clearly loves you for who you are, Morgan.”
“Maybe, but he hasn’t been around me twenty-four/seven yet. I’m not sure he’ll love me at three a.m.”
“Just be yourself,” Lori said.
“Well, what do I do if things go well? I mean, what if my body starts telling me he’s the one?”
“Do you even have to ask? Go for the gold, girl!” Lori said.
“It’s natural to be frightened when you’re taking such a big step forward in your life,” Sophie said.
“Is love even possible for me?”
“Yes, and if Foster doesn’t work out, don’t fret. There really are some wonderful men out there. Love will happen when it happens. Don’t force it.”
“I just invited a hot man on a trip to the tropics, and we’re sharing a room. He’ll expect sex. He’s probably stocking up on rubbers right now.”
“Well, duh.” Lori laughed. “Make the most of it. A woman’s sexual power is strongest before she has sex with a man for the first time. A guy will say or do almost anything when he desperately wants to fuck.”
“I don’t want anything from him, and I would never use him like that.”
“You’ll be using him all weekend long.”
Reality suddenly set in, and I slapped my forehead. “What did I get myself into?”
“What? You don’t want to sleep with him?” Sophie asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe or maybe not. He kisses like an angel, and I could imagine myself being seduced by him.” I thought back to our frolicking under the stars, when he’d peppered me with simple, sweet, tender kisses under the silver moonlight. There was nothing dirty or too sexual about it, but it was one of the most memorable moments of my life. “Still, it’s gonna be awkward, and I’m sure I’ll be a big klutz if things do get hot and heavy. I’m no sex goddess, and I’m not sure I can handle a hot man like Foster.”
Lori looked at Sophie, then at me. “Look, you’ve gone cold turkey, and you’re gonna be so high on love. It’ll all come naturally. The ecstasy is going to be escalated a million times after your long period of abstinence.”
“I’m not perfect enough for him,” I said.
“Foster doesn’t need you to be perfect. He just needs you to be yourself, to be you.”
“But, like you said, I don’t know him that well.”
“Then why did you invite him?” Sophie asked.
“Because I wanted to be spontaneous.”
“Because she wants to get laid,” Lori said. “For fuck’s sake, let the girl have some fun.”
“No,” Sophie said. “I think you should really get to know him better. You shouldn’t go on a trip with a guy unless you’re monogamous. For all you know, he could have a dozen girlfriends on the side. What happens if you have the time of your life, then get your heart broken?”
“At the very least,” Lori argued, “she’ll have sex with one of the hottest guys on the planet. It’ll be a trip to remember, and she’ll come back cobweb-free. Everybody can use a little vacation sex.”
“What if the sex sucks?” Sophie asked. “Neither of you has any idea what the other wants or needs. What if he gets you all heated up but can’t hit that G-spot?”
“She can always send him MapQuest directions,” Lori joked.
“Maybe Morgan doesn’t want a no-strings-attached fling,” Sophie retorted, clearly annoyed. “She’ll be shattered if the guy never calls again after they get back to the States.”
Lori shrugged. “The girl just got out of a breakup,” she said, talking about me like I wasn’t sitting right there. “Maybe she wants something casual. Maybe she’s just not ready for a commitment.”
Sophie raised a brow at me. “Do you think you can go from a purely physical relationship to an emotionally committed one?”
“I’m going into it with a casual mindset. Sure, Foster and I have this amazing spark, connection, and chemistry, but—”
“That’s lust, baby,” Lori interrupted.
I laughed, then continued, “Still, that doesn’t mean we’re meant for each other. I’m just going to see where it takes me. I mean, I’m still healing, and getting out there and having some fun sounds like a blast. If it leads somewhere, great, but if it doesn’t, I won’t be heartbroken. I’m a big girl, and I know what I’m getting myself into. I just want a little companionship, not a relationship. If things do keep going strong when we get back, maybe we could try dating, but that will depend on his feelings and mine. I have no expectations for this trip but a little fun...with a great guy.”
“I think you should save your next romp in the hay for somebody special, somebody who’ll be around,” Sophie said. “I’m not having sex until I find my special guy.”
“Gosh. But what if I’m not pretty enough for someone like him,” I suddenly blurted out as panic and self-doubt plagued me.
Lori clapped my shoulder. “Like Courtney Love once said, ‘You don’t have to be beautiful to fuck whoever you want.’”
Sophie slapped her. “You’re so not helping!”
“She knows she’s gorgeous. What guy doesn’t drool over her?”
“Yeah?” I said. “Name one.”
“Well, I guess they aren’t so obvious about it since you’ve been married, but you’re a very beautiful woman. Now take a long, deep breath before embarking to the tropics with your poster boy.”
“I can’t do poster boys. I’m so out of this guy’s league.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“But other women turn their heads and gasp when he walks by.”
“So. Let ‘em be jealous.”
Just then, my sister walked into the room. “Don’t panic. You’re a blonde bombshell, and he’s hot for you. Just quit worrying and have a good time. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. You can always do him when you get back. Condoms don’t expire that fast.”
“Gee. Thanks for the advice, sis.”
“If you’re gonna wear that bikini of yours, you better make sure you whack down the rainforest, if you get my drift.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure there’s a proper landing strip. Wouldn’t want anyone getting lost in the jungle.”
“Sculpt it like a porn star,” she joked.
I laughed. I tried to calm down, but deep inside, I wondered if I would be better off with an average-looking man. Tom was hot, too, and that had certainly got me nowhere.
Chapter 29
“That’s us,” Foster said, gripping my hand.
Smiling like a school girl, we boarded the plane.
I buckled my seatbelt and looked at him. “I can’t believe this is really happening.”
He reached for my trembling hand. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s gonna be great.”
“I’m a bundle of nerves,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t be so uptight that I’d ruin our potentially fabulous time in the Caribbean.
Foster looked into my eyes. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. Look, I’ve got no expectations, except to have a good time with a girl I adore. Just focus on The white sand beach, lots of sun, snorkeling, or maybe even swimming with a few sharks.”
I laughed.
“See? You’re in good hands.”
“I see that.”
“We’ve both waited a while, so what’s a little longer? We can have a great time as friends, then see what happens when we come back.”
“That does take the pressure off.”
“I’m just happy to be with you, and we’ll have a great time, with or without the...physical stuff.”
“I know I’ve teased you, even propositioned you.”
“I don’t want to rush into anything you’ll later regret and resent me for. Slow and steady wins the race, right?”
“Right.” I smiled. “I’m dying to try fresh pineapple.”
“I’m dying to taste fresh lobster.”
“A fresh cocktail.” I grinned. “We’re going to
paradise!”
He squeezed my hand, and I instantly felt more relaxed.
“Imagine looking down and seeing your feet in the turquoise water,” he said.
“It’ll just be us, sand, and the gorgeous blue Caribbean.”
“We’re going to have the time of our lives. It was so generous of your father to give you those tickets.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve got pretty great parents.”
***
We settled into our hotel and unpacked. I called my mom and dad and girls to let them know we’d arrived safely. Afterward, I went out on the balcony and enjoyed the ocean view.
Suddenly, Foster came from behind and wrapped his arms around me. “Look at all that crystal-blue water,” he said. “It’s like a postcard.”
“I guess you’d know, Mr. Mailman.” I gazed at the beautiful spectacle before us and inhaled the fresh ocean air. “I can smell the salt.”
“We’d better get going if you want to catch that ziplining tour.”
“Yeah. They say it’s the longest one in the Caribbean, down the mountainside and over the lush, green canopy. I can’t wait.”
“The brochure says pants and no open-toed shoes.”
“All right. I’ll change real quick.” I went back inside and slipped into a pair of lightweight white pants, tennis shoes, and a red shirt with a sweetheart neckline. I pulled my hair into a tight ponytail.
At the site, we were given a crash-course orientation, and then we signed our lives away on far too many disclaimers and waivers.
We climbed to the platform high in the trees.
“Oh,” I said, a little spooked.
“We don’t have to go,” Foster said. “It’s no biggie.”
“No. There’s no way I’d miss this. I need to prove to myself that I can do this,” I said. “I know it sounds weird, but it will help me move forward with my life. The old me would never do something this crazy, but I’m not her anymore.”