“Step Dad?” He enquires.
“Yep. Mum has married a grand total of three times. Poor Geoff has hung on in there for the record.”
“What happened with your dad?”
Why is he probing me on this topic I’d rather not discuss? I guess he did just confide in me about his parents. I have to. God. I have to tell him now don’t I?
“Well,” my tone stretches. “My dad cheated, so Mum kicked him out. Then she went on some women empowerment course, quit her job as a school secretary, and opened a sex shop exclusively for women in the town centre of Richmond. So I’d like this subject to end now, please.” There. It’s all out, and fast. Done and dusted.
His eyes have expanded to full range, and his grin is one of, ‘who’d have thought, Liz’s mum owns a sex shop.’
He doesn’t know the half of it. I will spend most of the day with her offering me tips on how to hook a man. How to sexually satisfy him and myself. And how to empower my body and mind, using a battery operated frigging banana. She got me one last year. A brand new purple rampant rabbit. I opened the damn thing in front of the whole family. Needless to say it was immediately handed back to her. And she was told then, if she ever does anything like that again, it would be the last Christmas I ever spend with her. She agreed and told me I need to relax. Even tried to give me the rabbit back.
I turn on the tap and begin to swill the plates. Now with the dread of that upcoming day looming over me.
Adrien arches across to me and turns off the faucet. “Eh, that can wait. My caretaker will deal with it when we’ve gone.”
He’s made me cross. He made the mess, and I really don’t mind clearing it up. Just for a second I give him my angry face.
“That’s not a very nice attitude to have.” I twist the tap back on.
He turns it off again. “Would you like me to tell you how much her salary is for looking after this place?” His eyes are stern, and voice stark. I like it. “She’ll be the top paid cleaner in this country, so leave it,” he maintains. “I need you to get ready anyhow. We have exactly one hour before our slot.”
I pout at him. He’s taking me out on some kind of appointment? I study his face, but he’s not giving me anything but a wayward grin. A naughty grin I want to attack with my lips.
“You’re not going to tell me?”
“Ah-ah,” he nods, folding his arms across his delish bare chest. “Wear sensible clothing. No heels. Boots are fine. Oh, and please take this.” He holds out a tonic.
I bite my lip and stare at him. “Hmm.” I snatch the tonic and head to the stairs.
***
I had no idea it was so late. It is now five in the afternoon, and I’m sat in the Jeep as Adrien drives us to our mysterious date. He’s still not let on where it is we’re going. Other than the odd complacent grin, he’s keeping schtum. His attire is outdoorsy, blue jeans, brown chunky boots, V-neck black t-shirt, and grey fleece.
I focus outside. All that is visible in the headlights, is the winter crisp shrubbery lining the narrow country road. I sulk; my patience is wearing thin. I’m not used to not having any sense of control, and I don’t like it when I don’t know what’s coming my way. I blow out loud. He’s going to have to give me some clue soon.
We turn left, into some woodland country car park. Is this it? Are we going on some night time hiking trip. Or are we going to stay in the car, and maybe do something naughty? Oh I do hope it’s the latter.
I see a charming white building, similar to a big cottage with warm lights radiating from the windows. Adrien unclips his belt. It must be a cosy country pub, where we’ll have a nice meal by an open fire.
“Ready,” he breathes out, opening his door.
Does he have some kind of phobia of pubs? He’s acting rather jittery.
He stands outside, adjusting up his jeans. I get out to notice we’re the only car parked here. Well, we’ll have the whole place to ourselves, how wonderful.
He makes his way to the door before me, quietly. There’s a sign above the window: Killiecrankie Visitors Centre. That’s not a very good name for a public house. He waits for me to arrive at his side, then grabs my hand with a reassuring grip. I’m feeling unsettled, as he squeezes my fingers.
We go through a glass panel door. It’s warm, sure it is, but this is no pub. There’s a counter, postcards, and tacky gifts, like huge pencils with toggles on the end. It really is a visitor’s centre. I tug on his hand. Now it’s time for him to tell me what this is all about. He peers down at me, as I scrunch up my forehead.
A man come out from a door behind the counter with the logo: Highland Fling, printed on his jacket. Oh, what heck is this; is he taking me for dance lessons? That is the only Highland Fling I know. Open your mouth Liz, and shout if you have to. If he wants me to wear some kilt, and jig around with my arms above my head, I’m out of here.
“Welcome, Mr Knight. I’m Shaun, and I’m going to be your instructor for this evening,” the guy says in a Scottish accent. “We are delighted for the first time to be able to do this in December.” He smiles at me. “The conditions are spot on. So, if you would just sign this, then we can get you kitted up.”
Adrien pulls a sheet of paper across to his waist. He takes out his own personal silver pen, and squiggles his initials. I quickly dip my head to the side to try and see. But he knows what I’m up to, and slides it toward Shaun, sharply. I stamp my foot. It’s something I’ve never noticed myself do before now.
He turns, placing his fingers on my cheeks, then presses his lips on mine for a brisk kiss. “You’re going to love this. Rented the whole place for us.”
Right that’s it. I’ve had just about enough of all this mysterious crap. “Will you tell me what the hell I am going to love?”
“You’ll soon see,” he winks.
“Would you both like to follow me,” Shaun says as I reluctantly stand back with my jaw hanging in confusion.
“Elizabeth.” Adrien pulls on my arm.
We go through a door at the back of the gift shop. Through a small corridor. And out into a room with shelving units full of mountaineering equipment. There’s a woman laying out straps and carabineer clips. Hell. She’s pulling thick cords from the shelf, asking Shaun about tandem weights and drops. Drop the fuck where? I freeze up. I’ve gone ice-cold, and feel all peculiar.
“Elizabeth, come on,” Adrien pulls me out of my trance, as Shaun takes an array of equipment through another door.
I linger behind. We walk out into the still cold night, along a terrifying metal bridge I can see right through. My legs weaken with each step. This is not my idea of a date.
“Miss Lovell, please could you slip your legs through this,” the woman asks, as I grip onto a side rail, shaking my head in refusal.
Adrien lets go of my hand and begins to get buckled up. He seems to know what he’s doing, and helps Shaun secure clips, and pull straps tight. He waves me over, but hell no. Anything that involves this amount of safety equipment, on a god damn crisscross bridge that comes to an abrupt end, of course is making me stay put. Is this a joke? Am I having some bizarre dream right now?
“Guys, would you mind leaving us for a few minutes?” Adrien says. “I guess I need to come clean.” You don’t need to Adrien. I’ve kind of gathered what you want me to do.
I hold my body over with my arms folded across my belly, breathing in and out, deep. Shaun follows the woman back into the shop. I stay very still. If I move any closer to that edge, my legs will give-way.
“Elizabeth, give me your hand,” he sweet-talks. “Come on, I’ve done this a thousand times,” he gestures in a persuading way.
Jeez. How does he do it; makes me do as I’m told? Puts me at ease with a few pacifying words. I hold out my hand with trembling cold fingers. He takes my arm, and gently guides me closer to a solid platform. Its pitch-black, bar spotlights shining in the snow coated trees over the ravine. It resembles a scene from a fantasy. A stunning forest of shadow across the way.
But how can appreciate a thing when my heart is pounding so violently, and I think I might just blackout. I’m now one step from the edge, and I can’t look.
Adrien presses his hands firmly on my shoulders. If his aim here is to try and talk me around, it’s not going to work. I focus on his chest with a quivering breath
“Look at me.” He lifts my chin so I see a golden glimmer cast within his dark limbal ring. “Look down, there’s nothing to be afraid of, it’s to be embraced.”
“What?” I snap.
He’s confusing me. He’s not making any logical sense at all. Jumping to your death has to be embraced?
“Fear. You embrace it… it doesn’t affect you anymore.”
“So, you want me to jump off this ledge, and embrace my impending death?” I try to look down again, but only manage a one second glance.
“Elizabeth, when you look into the darkness you have two choices,” he says, with his hand on my cheek, gazing affectionately. “You either fall into it, so you’ll never fear the unknown again. Or you stay on the ledge, always wondering what’s there. Torturing yourself over it.”
He’s making me all squidgy inside again. Damn your slick words Adrien.
“Elizabeth, I live in the abyss, and would like you to leap into the unknown with me.” He compresses his jaw. “Will you join me?”
I sigh out the fear. He’s done it. My heart’s summersaulting and I’m queasy with dread. But he’s right. Now I’m here, if I don’t do it, I’ll always remember the time I didn’t, and think what would it have been like if I did.
“Well, a nice country pub would have been more suitable,” I say, forcing out a petrified smile.
“You’ll be with me all the way sexy,” he says with a sly beam.
“Okay… can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.”
“Would you have agreed if I told you?”
“Hell no.”
He kisses me, pleased, and calls out the instructors.
***
The toe of my boot is only inches from the edge. I’m harnessed and secured to Adrien, with my head on his chest and eyelids squeezed tight. I clutch the straps on his back, and feel the bungee cord. The woman instructor tugs on the bottom of my harness and I wobble. Oh fuck, I’m going to fall before I jump if I carry on convulsing like this.
“Open your eyes,” Adrien sniggers.
“Shit… what the hell have you got me into?”
His chest vibrates with amusement as his arms clasp around my waist. “Open your eyes… look at me.”
I grit my teeth so hard my gums hurt. I peel one eye open with my head facing the gangway. Shaun smiles at me, and I feel like telling him to piss-off. I peer up at Adrien, terrified.
“You keep them open all the way,” he says. “And don’t breathe in the water.”
“Water!” This just keeps getting better and better.
Shaun positions Adrien and I, so we’re sideways and in position to fall. “You’re ready to go,” he states, running his hand high up the cord.
“I’m going to die tonight aren’t I?” I squeak.
“Not tonight,” he grins. “Elizabeth… I’m going to lean with you.”
Oh my god. Breathe Liz, breathe.
I grip onto Adrien so hard my fingers throb. He leans, and holy crap, we’re falling. I’m silent. Winded in utter terror. Then strangely, my body becomes ignited. Alight with an intense high of exhilaration.
The adrenalin rushes through my blood and into my inverted head. Adrien yowls out as I hang onto him for dear life. Our heads suddenly submerge in the chill of the unseen river for a millisecond. Then the kickback springs us soaring high. I can see the floodlit snaking branches all around us. This is actually incredible. I let out quick panicky gasps as Adrien continues to howl in enjoyment.
“You kept your eyes open.” He holds me in his arms as we swing with air whooshing all around us.
I was brave. I did. And wow, I’m glad. It’s as though I’ve just cheated death. Yes, I’m attached to Adrien and the gangway. But if it were my time, then this cord would have failed, and it didn’t, so yay me.
We’re slowly hoisted upward. My chest is still puffing out air. I’m as pliable as play-dough. And the blood gathered in my upside-down head heats my face.
“That was pretty amazing,” I exhale, looking down through the hair stuck to my face.
“I’m glad you enjoyed.” He sweeps the hair from my eyes with a chuckle. “How do you feel about skydiving?” I gasp loudly in alarm. “I’m messing with you.” He cranks up his head to kiss my temple.
We’re unclipped, unstrapped, and let loose. I can’t walk without a weird weak wobble, and I have to hold onto Adrien’s arm for support as we make our way back into the warm shop.
My hair is a mess, so I tuck it behind my ears as Adrien thanks the staff. I’m still buzzing from head to foot. It’s so strange, how energised I feel after doing something so dangerous. If he asked me, I would most definitely do that again.
Adrien holds my hand as we make our way back to the car. He frequently glances to me, as though he’s very proud I leapt. He pulls out his keys, and I snatch them playfully. I’ve not finished tonight. I’m in need of something to give me that thrill again.
“Let me drive.” I wave the keys.
He scowls. “After that… you feel good to drive?”
He thinks I can’t handle this car. I’ve been dying to drive it since we got here. It’s a four-by-four, and we’re in the countryside. What better way end to the night, than participating in a little off-roading.
“Well,” I flirt. “You have just made me jump off a bridge, so really you should let me do what I want.”
He laughs with an eye roll. “Fine.” He walks to the passenger side. “It’s insured.”
I climb into the driver’s seat. It’s so high and snug compared to my Beryl. I pull over the belt, start the bad boy up, and take a few seconds to familiarise myself with the dashboard. It can’t be that difficult to drive with it being an automatic. I flick on the headlights, press the handbrake button, and we begin to roll. I have a pretty good idea how to get back. One long quiet road, then a right turn. I switch on the full beam, and accelerate faster.
Hell yeah! It’s so much fun not having to change gear. Fifty, sixty, seventy. I bounce in the seat. I’m excited. Too excited. Okay Liz, we want even faster don’t we.
“Slow down, Elizabeth,” Adrien barks.
Ha. This is payback for the jump Adrien. I smile and keep my foot down, ignoring his request.
“I thought you were a thrill-seeker, Mr Knight,” I toy. “To fast for you… afraid you might die?”
This car is amazing. I don’t know what’s got into me. I need another kick, and speeding through these country lanes is working.
“I can’t die, and you’re turning me on driving like this. You’re dangerous… so slow the fuck down.”
He glares with his angry fuck me eyes. Shit, I love that look. I want to pull over and rip his pants off right now.
“Road Elizabeth!”
Lights hit my vision and I’m blinded temporarily. I swerve, and miss an oncoming car by an inch.
“Shit,” I gasp, quickly regaining control.
“Slow down, or I drive,” he snaps.
I spring in the seat. I’m horny and it’s his fault. I bite my lip. I have the power in my hands and there’s something I’ve wanted since we got here. I will get my way. I put my foot to the floor again. Tonight I’m freaking too randy to think straight.
“You want me to slow down?” I purr. “Then show me what you’ve got in that room.” I really want to see, so much so, I’m willing to crash this nice car for it.
His torso inflates furiously. He grabs my thigh and runs his hand up to my crotch. Jesus. I’m all over the road. I wheeze, gritting my teeth, as his hand and fingers massage me with unyielding strokes, harder and harder. Oh shit!
“Slow down or I’ll carry on.” He glides his digits against me, slow and firm
, up and down my damp pants. “I won’t die, but you might.” His tone is husky.
I don’t want him to stop. But god. I’m going total this car in a minute. I could actually kill myself over sex here. I grumble, and ease my foot off the accelerator.
“You win,” I growl as he removes his touch. “Can I please pull over,” I say in need. “Here will do won’t it?” My voice is as frustrated as my body.
I glance across, waiting for his yes. “No,” he say definitely. “I’m in no mood.”
Great work there Liz. You want to get laid, then you don’t piss-off your means to get it.
I turn right through the open the gates. I’m on the brink of sexual starvation, so speed a little to get to the house as fast as possible. I turn off the engine and angle over the wheel, frustrated.
“That was a stupid stunt, Elizabeth.” He gets out and slams the car door.
I take off my jacket as he lingers at the bottom of the stairs with a sly, but disapproving expression. He strides to me with gluttonous eyes, and aggressively pulls me into his body.
“I thought I was the one bad for you. It’s proving to be the other way around.”
“I’m sorry.” I swallow.
“Don’t be.” His eyes move down my body.
“Show me,” I say quietly. “Please.” I tug his hand to the staircase.
Chapter 13: The Red’s Room
I concentrate on the door as I tow Adrien’s hand behind me. He’s reluctant, always two paces behind. I turn to him. His whole body is despondent and unwilling. God, this is his house, he shouldn’t be ashamed of a thing.
“Where’s the key?” I ask softly.
He sighs, and rears his view to the top of the doorframe. Okay, not a very original hiding place, so it can’t be that bad.
I finger the wood from left to right, and a small silver key falls into my palm. I release Adrien from my control, and place the key inside the doorknob. I twist until it clicks open, and look back with a shrewd smile because I feel so wicked for making him do this. Almost immediately, the apprehension surfacing on his face has me halt my childish mission.
Your Red Always Page 15