The Heart Knows What the Heart Wants

by Lori L. Clark

  "Shane, I need you to open the store this morning," Neona said, ignoring his cranky greeting.

  "What? Why?" he asked, rifling his hand through his messy hair.

  "Look out your window. Megan and Rachael can't get there because of the road conditions," she said. "It's the price you pay for living upstairs. Tell Star that I found her phone. If she's looking for it."

  Shane smirked and glanced over his shoulder at Star, all tangled up in his sheets, her hair splayed in a mass of chocolate curls on the pillow. God, she was so damn beautiful. "Yeah okay," he said and disconnected the call.

  The bedside clock told him he had an hour before he had to be downstairs. Having Star sprawled out across his bed enticed him much more than going down to open the convenience store.

  She was facing away from him. He got on his knees and ran his hand along the curve of her body, starting above her waist and moving down over her hip. He bent to kiss her along her spine, trailing feather-soft kisses as he worked his way down to the sweet spot between her legs. She was so wet, he couldn't resist dipping a finger inside of her.

  She softly moaned and parted her legs, allowing him more freedom to explore. He stroked her and gently rubbed her clit. "Shane..." she murmured. Damn, he loved the way she said his name. He reached down and took himself in his hand and began to match his self-pleasuring strokes with the ones he was giving her.

  He wanted her so badly. He throbbed, ached to be inside her. She rolled onto her back, and he paused stroking himself. She smiled seductively up at him through lowered lashes and whispered, "Let me help you out there."

  He crawled beside her and she pushed him onto his back. He thought she was going to ride him. Instead, she scooted down, positioning herself between his thighs. His fists knotted in the bedding as she took the length of him into her mouth. His back arched off the bed, and he groaned. Looking into her eyes as she made love to him with her mouth was more pleasure than he could bear. "Fuck...Star. I'm going to come if you keep that up," he grunted.

  "Mm-hmm," she moaned. The vibration of her mouth combined with the sucking, drove him over the edge. He threaded his fingers through her hair, gently coaxing her not to stop. His toes curled, and his body went rigid. "Shit, Star...I'm coming," he said through clenched teeth. He tried to pull from her mouth, but she gripped his ass and pulled him deeper, swallowing the warm liquid as it slid down her throat.

  He collapsed against the mattress and lay speechless, until Star wriggled up and kissed him on the forehead. He kissed her on the tip of the nose and said, "That was amazing."

  She smiled and lightly scraped her fingernail over his chest. "Who was that on the phone?"

  "Aunt Neona. She needs me to open the store this morning." He sat up and ruffled his hair.

  Star hopped from the bed and nodded toward the clock. "Well, you better get going if you plan on making it by six."

  "Shit!" He scrambled off the bed and gathered his clothes. "Quick shower. Five minutes, tops."

  She giggled at his energy, all the while stealing covert glances at his tight ass. "Better hurry," she shouted after him.

  She pulled on the shirt he'd worn last night and went into the kitchen to see if there was anything in the house to eat. Sex had made her ravenous.

  True to his word, Shane was in and out of the shower in the time it would have taken her to lather up her hair. Star stood at the counter, watching the coffee brew. "It looks better on you than it does me," he told her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck.

  "Of course it does," she smiled, "that's because you look best naked."

  "Is that right?" he asked.

  "Yep. Now, you better get that sexy butt of yours downstairs. I'll come by and see you later," she said.

  "Yeah, okay." He sighed heavily and planted a kiss firmly on her mouth. "Neona said your phone's at the house, in case you're looking for it."

  "Oops. I'd told her I'd keep it with me." She sighed, kissing him back. "See you."

  He crossed the floor and pushed through the door to go outside. The snow was piled so high on the landing, he had to force the door open. "Fuck," he muttered. He shot her a lazy grin. "Looks like I might get to keep you for another night with all this snow."

  Before she could retort, he disappeared outside. Her eyes got misty and she swallowed the lump in her throat as she thought to herself. You can keep me for as long as you want, I have no intention of leaving you.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Derek awoke Saturday morning and decided to enlist Astrid's help him get Estelle back home. He'd grown tired of waiting for her to return on her own and Christmas was coming. The holidays were supposed to be about family, and since he considered Estelle the only family he had, he expected her to be with him.

  He parked his truck in front of Astrid's small house around eleven and knocked on the door. It took several minutes of pounding before she finally opened it. Her hair was a frizzy mess, and she wasn't wearing any makeup. For her, that was unusual. Is spite of looking like she'd just rolled out of bed, she looked damn fine in the oversized t-shirt she had on. Her legs were long and lean; she was pretty hot for a woman her age.

  He felt no shame for wanting to bend Astrid over and plow into her with reckless abandon. Hell, she wasn't that much older than him. Derek resisted the urge to do her right then and there. He knew she wanted him. She'd come on to him more than once in the past, but he'd never taken the bait.

  She pursed her lips and stood to the side to let him enter. "Derek honey, you got me out of bed. I've been a little under the weather," she said with just a hint of southern twang.

  "Sorry, Astrid. It's just that I miss Estelle so damn much right now. I was wondering if you'd maybe help me convince her to come back home. I'd sure like to have her with me for Christmas," he lied, laying his panty-dropping charm as thick as he dared.

  Astrid quirked an eyebrow at him and said, "This is going to call for coffee. I can see that right now." She turned and strode toward the kitchen. He tagged along behind, watching her ass swing side to side, taunting him.

  While the coffee brewed, she leaned against the counter and folded her arms in front of her chest. Derek always seemed to be on edge. His feet constantly tapped and his fingers repeatedly drummed out staccato beats on whatever surface was handy. It made her antsy just watching him. If he were a child, she'd say he needed to be on meds to curb his hyperactivity.

  He paced back and forth with his hands clasped behind his neck. "Got anything stronger than coffee?" he asked.

  Astrid nodded toward the refrigerator. "There's beer in the fridge, help yourself," she said, grabbing a mug from the cupboard for a jolt of caffeine.

  He pulled a beer from the twelve-pack, opened it and immediately swallowed half the can in the time it took most people to blink an eye. "Thanks," he grunted, sitting down at the table.

  She poured herself a cup of coffee and moved to take a seat across from him. "What's your plan to get my daughter to come home?" she asked, blowing on the hot liquid so it wouldn't scald her mouth. "I mean short of driving up to Iowa and physically dragging her back."

  Derek's head jerked up, and he slapped the palm of his hand against his forehead. "Fuckin' A, Astrid. That's a brilliant idea." He grinned. "Why don't you call your people up in Iowa and find out for sure if she's there."

  Astrid scrunched her face distastefully. She didn't keep in touch with her sister in Iowa. She had never approved of Astrid being the mistress of a married man, and it had caused a rift between the two of them. Astrid hadn't given a rat's ass what Isabelle thought, so to say their relationship was strained would be putting it mildly. "We're not exactly close," she said bitterly.

  "Jesus Christ, Astrid. It'll be Christmas soon. Don't you think she wonders why you haven't called to check on your own flesh and blood for the holidays?" he asked.

  Astrid's eyebrows disappeared beneath her messy bangs. "Truthfully? No."

  Exhausted from the conversation that was go
ing nowhere fast, Derek shoved away from the table and grabbed another brew. "Maybe you're ready to turn over a new leaf, or enter the Mother of the Year contest for a friggin' change. They don't know that."

  Astrid's eyes narrowed to slits, and she pointed her finger in his unshaven face. She hissed, "You shut your damn mouth. I did good by that girl. It's not my fault she never appreciated a single thing her father and I ever did for her. You ought to know better than anyone how ungrateful that daughter of mine is."

  "I'm very much aware of how ungrateful Estelle is," Derek said icily. His voice took on a low, menacing tone as he continued. "Now, I'm going to need for you to make a call and find out whether she's really up there or not. Then I'll know if a trip up north is the first step in getting her back home so I can remind her just how fucking good she had it with me."

  Astrid glared at him and thought about throwing his ass out. Where did he get off talking to me like this? Personally, she wasn't afraid of any man. She had a gun, and she knew how to use it. If some sonofabitch even thought about laying a finger on her, she'd shoot him in the balls and tell the ambulance driver he'd broken in and tried to rape her. She let out a long sigh and stood to retrieve the phone.

  She dialed her sister's number, putting it on speaker so Derek could hear both sides of what she was sure would be a less-than-pleasant conversation. Astrid held her breath and prayed the call would go straight to voice mail. Unfortunately, on the third ring, Isabelle's wary voice came on the line. "Hello?"

  "Isabelle, this is Astrid," she announced. There was silence on the other end, and for a second, Astrid wondered if the call had dropped or if Isabelle had simply not wanted to deal with her wayward sibling and pressed 'end.' "Hello?"

  With an annoyed huff, Isabelle said, "I know who it is. I'm just trying to figure out why you're calling me."

  Astrid closed her eyes tightly and took a calming breath. She had known Isabelle wouldn't be easy to deal with. "Is Estelle there?" she asked.

  After another brief pause, Isabelle chuckled. "I always knew that girl got her brains from someone other than you, Astrid. What? She finally wised up and got away from you and that lowlife scum of a man she was living with?"

  "I didn't call to have you insult me this way," Astrid bristled. Derek laid his hand on her arm and squeezed, cautioning her to check her temper and remember the purpose of the call. "It's just that, well, she had a minor disagreement with Derek and ran away. He's real anxious to patch things up with her and get her back home for Christmas."

  "Well isn't that just about the sweetest thing I've heard all day?" Isabelle snorted sarcastically. "Look, as much as I'd love for you to have your warm family reunion, I hate to break it to you, baby sis, but wherever Estelle went, I don't think she wants to be found. She's not here, nor has she been. Goodbye, Astrid."

  The call disconnected and Astrid swallowed the lump in her throat. She gave Derek a scathing look. "Are you happy now?"

  He scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to stay calm, but his temper was ticking like a time bomb ready to detonate inside of him. He tapped his fingers on the table trying to figure out what his next move was going to be. His eyes skated up to meet Astrid's -- and that's when it hit him like a bolt from divine intervention.

  He leaned back in his chair and a stupid-wide grin spread across his face. "You're looking kind of peaked, Astrid," he informed her.

  "You'd think I'd be immune to her insults. She's always hated me," Astrid whined.

  "Stop with the pity party already," he muttered. She shot him a hateful look, and his smile broadened. "I mean you're really sick. H1N1 virus or some shit like that. Estelle's pissed at me right now, but she still has a conscience. Even to the point where her heart might soften up enough to come back home and mend fences with her dying mom."

  "What the hell are you talking about?" Astrid asked. "I feel fine. I'm just a little rattled after talking to Isabelle."

  Derek closed his eyes and mentally counted to ten, trying to keep from slapping the stupid look off her face. "Stay with me here. I know you're not sick. You know you're not sick. But...Estelle doesn't know. Hell, you could be on your death bed right now, and she wouldn't know any different."

  "Oh." Astrid's mouth went round, finally figuring out what he was getting at.

  Derek took out his phone and blocked his number before calling Estelle. He practically beamed from his brilliance.

  "Hello?" Estelle snapped.

  Derek knew he needed to try a different tactic with her. Threats wouldn't get her to come back, so he turned on his southern charm. It had worked like magic before.

  "Estelle, baby, don't hang up," he said softly.

  After a few seconds, she told him, "Okay, but you better talk fast. You have exactly two minutes to say whatever it is you have to say, and then I'm going to hang up, throw this phone away and try to un-remember every fucking thing about you, Derek."

  "Estelle, baby--" he started.

  "Tick-tock, one minute fifty seconds," she interrupted.

  He sighed heavily, clenching and unclenching his fist beneath the table. "It's your mom. She's real sick. They admitted her to the hospital last night. She's asking for you, Estelle. Now I know you two have had your problems in the past, but she is your mom. I think maybe you ought to put your differences aside and come home. She's not gonna be around forever, you know."

  "Time's up," she hissed into the phone, seconds before the call disconnected.

  "Well, any more brilliant ideas?" Astrid asked sarcastically.

  "Fuck you, Astrid. You wait. She bought that story, hook, line, and sinker. She'll be back. I know my Estelle," he said with a perverse satisfaction.

  Chapter Forty

  By mid-afternoon, the roads had been cleared enough for Star to drive home. She went by Harper's General Store before she left so she could sneak a kiss or two from Shane.

  "I'm going to work on some more jewelry designs," she said. She went to the cooler to grab a diet soda. "If you want to stop over when you get off work, I'm sure I can find something to keep you busy."

  He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet. "You just want me for my body, admit it," he said.

  "You say that like it's a bad thing," she teased. "Now put me down. I'll see you soon."

  Reluctantly, he sat her down. "Okay."

  When Star got home, she went into the kitchen and saw a note stuck to the refrigerator door from Neona: Michael has the day off, and I'm tired of being cooped up in this big house all alone, so we're going to his place for a change of scenery. We'll probably spend the night there, call if you need anything.

  Star smiled as she read the note. She knew what it was like to feel trapped like an animal in a cage; unable to come and go whenever, or wherever, she wanted. She was happy that Neona had Michael and that they were able to spend some alone time together.

  She found her cell phone sitting on the table, and she stuck it in her pocket. She skipped up the steps, taking them two at a time. She felt giddy, alive, and so full of happy energy, in spite of her lack of sleep from the previous night.

  She decided to take a shower, and rummaged through some of her recent purchases for something to wear. Humming to herself, she chose a pair of leggings and a long-sleeved, oversized t-shirt. Just as she began to undress, her cell phone vibrated in her pocket.

  She swiped the screen, assuming it was a text from Shane, frowning when she saw four missed calls. The most recent text was from Shane to tell her that he would be there shortly after six, but four missed calls? She thumbed through them, and every one was from a blocked number. It made her sick to her stomach. Her legs turned to putty, and she slid her back down the wall. She had wondered how long it would take before he started to call instead of sending texts.

  The happiness she'd felt earlier had evaporated. Even though Derek was hundreds of miles away, he still had a stranglehold on her. Like a puppeteer controlling her every move with the flick of his wrist. She buried her face
in her hands and cried. Things had been so perfect a few hours ago, now they were quickly fading to a darker shade of black.

  Her phone rang in her hands causing her to start, and she stared at it with despair as "BLOCKED" splashed across the screen.

  She knew he wouldn't stop calling until he talked to her, and since he couldn't physically harm her over the telephone, she bravely answered. "Hello?" she said with more authority than she felt, hoping it would prove to him that she wasn't his scared little Estelle anymore.

  "Estelle, baby, don't hang up," he pleaded softly.

  The sound of his voice, the sickeningly fake sincerity, crawled up the back of her neck, igniting every nerve in her body, and made her nauseous. "Okay, but you better talk fast. You have exactly two minutes to say whatever it is you have to say, and then I'm going to hang up, throw this phone away and try to un-remember every fucking thing about you, Derek."

  "Estelle, baby--" he started.

  "Tick-tock, one minute fifty seconds," she interrupted.

  He sighed heavily. She could almost picture his anger, making his face grow redder with each passing second. It was late Saturday afternoon, and if it was like most weekends, she figured he already had a six pack under his belt. "It's your mom. She's real sick. They admitted her to the hospital last night. She's asking for you, Estelle. Now I know you two have had your problems in the past, but she is your mom. I think maybe you ought to put your differences aside and come home. She's not gonna be around forever, you know."

  Star hugged her knees to her chest, sitting on the cold tile floor of the bathroom. She pulled in a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "Time's up," she hissed into the phone, seconds before pressing end. She resisted the urge to fling it as hard as she could and smash it against the opposite wall. Instantly, it began to ring again, so she held the power button down and turned it off.

  Tears of helplessness and defeat streaked down her face, and she pressed her palms against her eyes. If he was telling her the truth, and her mom really was as sick as he claimed, she'd never be able to live with herself if something happened and she hadn't gone to see her. There was no love lost between her and her mother, but it wasn't because Star hadn't tried.