“Forget about it. I’m not worried about them. I’m kind of hungry. Let’s make some Jiffy Pop.”
~***~
Aunt Callista got home a short time before her mother did but pretended that she had been there all along. Vanessa silently gathered her things and then went to the car without speaking. She didn’t want to talk about anything so she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep until they got up the hill.
“How was school today, baby?” Her mother asked as she stuck the key into the lock.
“I got jumped.” Vanessa spoke coolly and closed the door after her. Her mother placed a gentle hand on her chin and looked at her face.
“What happened?”
Vanessa turned her head and took half a step back. “Some kids were calling me names.” She looked at her mother. “And they were saying bad things about you.”
Her mother scowled and then placed her hands on her hips. “Don’t let some silly kids suck you into a fight Vanessa.” She shook her head and kicked off her shoes and began removing her coat. “I know name calling hurts but they aren’t sticks and stones-“
“Mama, I didn’t say I got into a fight. I said I got jumped.” Vanessa headed up the stairs without removing her coat. She sat on her bed and waited.
“Vanessa!” Her mother called a few moments later. When she didn’t answer the door to her room opened and her mama was standing there. “Were you in my room?”
“Yes,” she replied without fear.
“Okay what the hell were you doing going through my things? You know not to do that!”
Vanessa watched her, feeling disgust, love, sadness, hate and regret all rolled up into one big impossible emotion. “When I got jumped I tried to call you. I was looking for something from Rockets…where you work. I called the operator but she couldn’t find Rockets. So I went through your things looking for something from where you work.”
Leelah White watched her daughter in a silence that felt endless. “What did those kids say about me?”
Vanessa started to tremble but she refused to cry or to back down. “That you were…a…that you are…” She couldn’t bring herself to say.
“That I’m what?”
“A…whore,” she whispered.
Leelah sighed and scratched her head. She shook her head again and then came into the room slowly. “Vanessa,” she sat down on the bed beside her daughter. “I’m no whore.”
Vanessa looked at her quickly, studying her face. “Those kids that said that,” she gave her daughter a piercing look, “don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.” Leelah closed her eyes and sighed. “I don’t want you to be…” Leelah swallowed and her voice sounded hoarse, “unprepared for anything that comes your way; including those bad-ass kids talking shit about things they know nothing about.”
Vanessa swallowed, her hope dwindling away.
“I work at the telephone company during the day.” She stared at her daughter. “I need to work a second job so that I can give us the life that I want us to live. It’s just a job. It’s not a definition of who I am,” She said adamantly Vanessa couldn’t look away from her mother’s eyes even though she wanted to. She wanted to go to sleep and she wanted this not to be happening. She wanted this to be a nightmare but her mother kept talking.
Leelah finally broke the gaze that held her daughter prisoner and she looked into the distance. “There is no Rockets and there is no bar. But I suppose you understand that now.” Leelah was silent for a long time before she continued. “But what I want you to know is that my entire motivation in this life is to get up out of this—all of it; not just Garden Hilltop and Winton Terrace but away from this lifestyle!“ Her voice softened as she waited for her daughter to look at her again. “My purpose in life is to take care of us-“
Vanessa jumped up from the bed and quickly removed her coat, gloves and hat. Leelah watched as her daughter busied herself, knowing that it was so that she wouldn’t have to hear her words…and would not have to look at her. This is what it feels like to die, Leelah thought.
Suddenly the little girl turned back to face her mother. “What about my daddy?” she asked, her voice emotionless. Her mother tried to reconcile that robotic voice coming from her child. Vanessa waited. “They said I was a trick baby.” Leelah shook her head in denial. “Who is my daddy? Is he…do you even know him?”
Leelah looked down and grimaced as if in pain. “You are no trick baby, Vanessa.”
But she could take no more and she left the room. Leelah went to her bathroom and closed the door. She turned on the shower and with the sound of water hitting the porcelain as a backdrop she slid down to the floor and covered her face and wept.
~***~
The next day after school Vanessa informed Jalissa that she wasn’t going back to Winton Terrace.
“Are you for real? Van, my mother is going to be pissed! You just got lucky the last time-”
“So,” she replied without bothering to look at her cousin. “I’m not going back.” That morning her mother had informed her that while she was staying with aunt Callista, she was no longer allowed to go outside. It angered her that she was expected to be a prisoner again—but this time with a woman who treated her badly. She decided that if her mother cared she would stop doing her second job. If she cared she would tell her that there was no amount of money more important than her.
Jalissa stood there indecisively watching her cousin begin the long walk up to Garden Hilltop. Eventually she huffed and just went home.
Vanessa’s mind was in deep thought, so much so that she had nearly passed ‘the building’ before she had to remind herself that she was supposed to be scared. When she got home, she went straight to the back yard where she climbed in through the kitchen window just as Scotty had taught her.
She picked up the phone to tell Jalissa that she was okay but Aunt Callista answered, using her sweet telephone voice…at least until she discovered that her caller was her missing niece.
“Vanessa, you need to get your ass back down here, now!”
For the first time ever, her aunt’s screeching didn’t scare her—she heard it for what it really was; the voice of a bully who could only pick on someone younger and weaker. Well she might be young—but she was far from weak.
“I am!” Her fierce response quieted her aunt’s tirade. “I will get there way before my mother gets home. I’m going to eat dinner here and do my homework here and then-“
“I’m going to beat your little ass-!”
“No you’re not! You’re not going to touch me! Because if you do I will tell my Mama just how much you…take care of me.” There was silence. “Don’t worry auntie. I’ll be back at your apartment just like always; when the street lights go out.” Instead of hanging up she waited for her aunt to respond.
“Okay,” Callista said slowly. Then her voice grew louder. “But you better have your little tail back here once those street lights come on!”
Vanessa replaced the phone in the cradle and blew out a weary breath. She went upstairs and sat in her window seat hugging her stuffed Pooh Bear. It smelled clean like talcum powder and maybe a little dusty but she didn’t care. She needed a big Pooh Bear hug.
A while later the bus made it’s way up the hill and Vanessa watched it stop to let out Anthony, only this time Scotty stepped out also. She straightened and squinted her eyes. It was Scotty because she knew no other boy with blond hair that feathered down to his shoulders and that held a posture on his tall lean body that clearly stated; I am untouchable.
She quickly pushed up the window. “Scotty?” She called before even realizing that she was going to do it.
Scotty and Anthony both looked in the direction of her window. She saw the older boy speak a few words to Anthony before waving and heading toward Vanessa’s court.
Anthony stood there and watched and Vanessa pushed up her screen and leaned out. “Hi Anthony.”
“Hi Vanessa.” He called and then watched for a fe
w more moments before turning to go up the hill to his own home.
“What are you doing up here?” Vanessa asked as Scotty got closer. “Do you go to Walnut Hills now?”
“Yep.”
“No wonder I haven’t seen you in school.” She took in the bruising that was beginning to fade from his face and wondered what—or who, had caused them. She only hoped that he had won—unlike her. “So why are you up here? Hold on!” She quickly closed the window and hurried downstairs. She opened the front door and walked outside with him.
“I do my homework with Anthony. My house is…madness.” He gave her a wry smile. “I mean, there’s a lot of noise.”
Vanessa nodded in understanding and wished that she had some noise in her house. Being an only child was boring and lonely. She wouldn’t complain if everybody cried and screamed as long as she wasn’t alone.
“Come inside,” she offered while rubbing her arms. “It’s cold.”
“Nah, I better not. But what are you doing up here? Aren’t you staying down the hill until your mom picks you up?”
Vanessa swung her head causing one of her braids to fly behind her shoulder. She snorted. Her face felt hot that he knew what her mother was doing at work. “I decided that I’m not going to do what she wants me to do. I’m coming up here and then I’ll go to my auntie’s house later.” She frowned, not having considered the fact that she would have to walk back down the hill all by herself in the dark. And walking in daylight past that building might be a different story than walking past it at night.
Scotty scowled. He walked past her and into her home. She smiled to herself happily as she closed the door.
“Not smart Vanessa.” His hands were on his hips when she turned back around. “Winton Terrace is no place for a kid out by herself at night.”
She didn’t say anything for a long moment. “You don’t understand what it’s like at my Aunt Callista’s house. She’s…mean to me. So I stay outside playing until the streetlights come on. But now…” She thought about the kids that had jumped her.
Scotty’s posture changed. “Does your mother know about your aunt?”
Vanessa looked at the floor and shook her head. “No.” Her eyes met Scotty’s again. “And I can’t tell her! Aunt Callista is the only person that my mother ever hangs out with.”
Scotty glanced at the large painting of the African warrior. A troubled look was on his face. “The streetlights come on in about four hours. I can do my homework here-“ Vanessa smiled brightly, “and then I’ll walk you down the hill.” Her smile grew even brighter. “But you’re not going to do this tomorrow Vanessa.”
She liked how he said her name. She wasn’t going to argue with him, though. She would do what she would do and that was all there was to it. Everything is everything she thought to herself.
~***~
Scotty and Vanessa both did their homework while sitting at the kitchen table. Vanessa felt pretty dumb writing out her spelling sentences when Scotty was transcribing Latin. When she commented on how hard it looked he explained that it was simple enough.
“Once you wrap your brain around it, it makes perfect sense. Latin is the root of our language. We even use some Latin derivative; like aqua.”
“Aqua? Like water?”
“Yep and you see it connected to our words like pre, super, multi…things like that.” She liked that he was smart and how he explained things so that it was easy to understand. He was probably the smartest person she knew.
She left him to finish his homework, going only as far as the refrigerator and stove where she boiled some spaghetti noodles and then melted cheese over it adding a splash of milk. Her mama called it poor people’s macaroni and cheese. She put half of it on a plate for Scotty and the other half for herself. He gave her a surprised look but picked up his fork and began to eat rapidly. Wow he must have been hungry. She got up and went to the refrigerator.
“What do you want to drink?”
“What do you have?”
“We have some Yoo-hoo, some pop, milk-“
“Milk.”
She poured them both big glasses of milk and when she was done eating she turned on the television set in the living room and watched the Brady Bunch. Scotty was quiet as he concentrated on his homework but it still felt nice having someone home with her.
Chapter 12
Aunt Callista glared at her when she walked in the door. She had still beat Jalissa home so she shouldn’t be mad. Scotty had gotten done with his homework faster than he said he normally did so they managed to beat the streetlights.
“Vanessa, I’m not going to have none of your mess!” Vanessa stared at her blankly. Her bark no longer caused her to flinch. She was just a mean, bitter woman.
“Aunt Callista,” she said barely shielding her dislike. “As long as I’m here I promise never to cause you any trouble…as long as you don’t cause me any.”
“Wh-?”
“Because you’re my only auntie and I love you,” she interrupted sweetly. “Just like you’re my mother’s only sister and she loves you.”
Callista’s brow went up. She opened her mouth as if she would say something, but in the end she went upstairs grumbling.
Vanessa turned on the television but barely saw the images as she relived every word that Scotty had said today.
~***~
As the days progressed and CPS failed to show up to snatch him at school, Scotty’s fear of what he would find when he got home lessened. When he walked into the apartment all of the children were present and accounted for and sitting in front of the television set—and that included Tino.
Phonso looked at Tino who shrugged. “Guess what?” The younger boy stated after receiving his silent approval. “CPS won’t be taking us.”
Scotty stopped with his foot poised to take the first step. “They won’t?”
“I told you Beady was just messing around,” Tino added. “She admitted to screwing around with some kid at school.” Scotty didn’t say anything.
“She ain’t coming home.” Phonso added.
“Can I have her dolls?” Ginger asked hopefully.
“Why not?” Scotty asked, ignoring his sister’s question.
“Because she asked to live with her grandma,” was Phonso’s response.
“Can I go live with Beady’s grandma, too?” Ginger asked.
“Shut-up, Ginger!” Erica yelled.
“Both of you shut-up!” Tino shouted. “Damn…” He returned his attention back to the television.
“So that’s it?” Scotty asked. “She just gets to live with somebody else?” A kid could just say that they wanted to live with their grandma and CPS lets them? Well…yeah when you came from a household like this.
Scotty headed up the stairs. Maybe she was better off with them after all. Maybe they all would be better off in the custody of CPS.
“Phonso, go make your drop,” Tino said. Scotty tilted his head and retraced his steps back down the stairs.
Phonso was heading for the closet for his jacket and Scotty gave Tino an incredulous look.
“What are you doing?” He asked his older brother.
Tino raised his brow at the question. “Somebody has to take up the slack that you left.” Phonso walked past Scotty who reached out and gripped the hood of the younger boy’s coat, stopping him from heading for the front door.
“You’ve got to be shittin’ me.” Scotty’s face was losing its color. “You’re not going to have a twelve year old selling dope in the middle of the night when it’s nearly freaking winter?!”
Tino reached out and absently began to stroke Ginger’s red curls. The younger girl snuggled up against him and Tino pulled her lovingly into his arms. “Don’t upset your little sister. She’s been through a lot. Now…what Phonso does is totally up to you, Scotty.”
Phonso extricated himself from his brother’s grip. “Scotty, I got this. Don’t worry. Tino already schooled me on who to sell to-“
Scotty sho
ok his head slowly, staring at the floor. His heart felt as if it would drop down to his very feet. “Okay. I’ll do it.” He looked at the brown skinned boy with his eager eyes, a personality that bordered on a need for approval and a will to survive. “I’ll do it,” he repeated. “Take off your coat, Phonso.”
Phonso gave him a surprised look. “Scotty you did it when you were my age. Now it’s my turn-“
“No! Take off that fucking coat!” Scotty shouted.
Ginger gave him a surprised look, not used to seeing him shout. Tino wrapped a secure arm around her.
I hate you, Scotty thought bitterly at his older brother. You’ve just destroyed my life.
~***~
The next day after school Scotty didn’t get off the bus at the top of the hill. Tino was waiting for him in the apartment and he handed his brother the money that he’d collected from selling pills and marijuana. Tino was indeed correct. The kids at his school had money burning a hole in their pockets and needed a way to spend it. He only needed to mention to one boy that he had pot and pills and before he knew it he was out of both. He handed Tino more money than the older boy had expected to see—but not as much as he had made.
Scotty had secretly overcharged his clients who were so green that they didn’t know they could get a better price down on Winton Rd. He skimmed off the top and in addition to the cut Tino gave him he had a tidy little sum in just one day. Scotty decided to bide his time.
“I need way more than what you gave me yesterday. Double it. I can sale it.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you getting caught holding that much. That’s an intent to distribute charge-”
“I know not to hold all my stash. It’s not in my locker or on me and even a drug sniffing dog won’t find it.” He hid his stash in the boy’s restroom on the third floor. It was so far away from the main classes that barely anyone went there. There was a drop ceiling and he hid the drugs just above the last stall.
Scandalous Heroes Box Set Page 42