“Shit, man.” G said while smoking a cigarette. “I can get with that but you can’t crash here. My Mom likes you and all but we’re already filled to capacity.”
Scotty stopped long enough to stare at him. “I’m talking a long term situation. I asked Tina to kick him out but she aid no. Then when he came home last night he went up into the bedroom and locked himself in there and I couldn’t get none of my things until he left this afternoon. When I got in there he had left his bloody needle on the floor. He was so fucked up that he nearly fell down the stairs trying to get out the door.”
“Scotty,” G said slowly, “the word on the street is that Tino has been doing as much H as he’s been selling. Your brother is junky, man. And you know junkies don’t do nothing but bring everybody around them down.”
Scotty resumed his pacing.
~***~
Mama didn’t come to get her that night. Maybe she forgot or maybe she was just too tired. Vanessa slept comfortably on the pull out couch with Jalissa. The next morning she called home and when the phone rang repeatedly, Vanessa figured that her mother was just extra tired, now but she was a little worried. It was not like her mother to forget to call and why wouldn’t she pick her up when she would have had to drive past aunt Callista’s house anyway in order to get home?
The girl’s ate a breakfast of cereal and milk and when Callista came downstairs to make her daily cup of coffee Vanessa asked her if her mother had called.
“Nope,” she replied. “And I need her to take me to the store for groceries.”
Vanessa decided that she would walk up the hill and wait for mama at her own house. Hopefully the car would be there in its regular spot and Mama would be sound asleep in her bed.
Jalissa stated that she had no desire to walk all the way up the hill. It was a long walk and it was super hot outside already even though it was still early morning.
Vanessa didn’t care, she could walk faster without her cousin slowing her down. She headed up the hill and when she that the parking lot didn’t contain her mother’s familiar white Cadillac her heart sank.
Still, she ran to the house and let herself in with her key.
“Mama?!” She called as she ran up the stairs to her mother’s neat bedroom. She wasn’t there. Vanessa just stood there unsure what she should do next.
Chapter 18
When Vanessa opened her eyes her house was completely dark. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was after midnight. She jumped up from where she had fallen asleep on her mother’s bed and quickly ran down the stairs and opened the front door. She stood in the doorway looking out for a white Cadillac. But there wasn’t one.
Tears began to fill her eyes. Something had happened to her mother.
She knew she shouldn’t call this early—or late but she had to. She picked up the telephone and called Aunt Callista’s house to see if her mother had phoned down there. It was Jalissa’s drowsy voice that answered the phone.
“H’lo?”
“Jalissa, this is Van. Uh, did my Mama call?”
“Van? No. We thought she was up there with you.”
Vanessa began to cry in earnest now. “What am I going to do?”
“I don’t know…Maybe she’ll come home tonight.”
Vanessa sniffed and swiped away her tears. “Maybe. Okay…I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She hung up the phone feeling her nerves rapidly unravel. It was the longest night of her life as she waited for the sun to rise. When it did she walked down the hill, tears running down her cheeks unbidden. She sobbed all the way down the hill still dressed in yesterday’s shorts and t-shirt. Her loose hair was unruly and stuck up in some places and fell down her back in others.
She didn’t go to her aunt’s house; she went directly to Scotty’s and knocked on the door even though it was barely the crack of dawn.
A little red-haired girl answered the door and stared at her. “Are you Scotty’s friend?”
Vanessa tried to stop crying, she really did. But all she could manage to do was nod her head as tears continued to flow down her cheeks. Ginger took the girl’s hand and led her into the house.
“Stay here. I’ll get him.”
Ginger retreated upstairs and Vanessa saw that Phonso was asleep on one couch while another boy was asleep on the other. She turned her back to them in case they woke up and saw her.
Someone was shaking his shoulder and Scotty’s eyes opened to see Ginger’s face close to his.
“What are you doing?” He muttered.
“There’s a girl downstairs crying.”
Scotty rubbed his eyes and sat up. “Huh?” He scrubbed his hands across his face. “What are you talking about? Did you let some strange person in the house, Ginger?”
“She’s not strange,” the little girl replied. “She’s your friend. That girl that looks like Beady.”
Scotty froze. The next second he was on his feet in just warm-up shorts and he hurried down the stairs. Vanessa was standing at the bottom of the stairs and she looked a mess! Her face was covered in her tears and her eyes were swollen as if she had been crying for a long time.
As soon as she saw him she began to cry uncontrollably. She was talking but he couldn’t understand what she was saying. He took her by the shoulders and concentrated on her words.
“Vanessa, what happened?”
“I don’t know where my Mama’s at!” She wailed. She looked and sounded so pitiful that he pulled her into his arms and held her trembling body. He walked her into the kitchen and told Ginger to get her a soda pop, then he sat her down into a chair and crouched in front of her.
“Vanessa. I need you to tell me what happened, okay?”
She nodded and tried to stop crying.
“My mother didn’t come home yesterday. The last time I saw her was 2 days ago. Scotty my mama would never be gone this long!” Her voice rose in a woeful wail and he hugged her again. He handed her the soda and made her drink some of it. The cold soda helped. She looked at him and the other kids that had awakened and were now crowding in the kitchen watching her.
“Can you ask your mother if she’s seen my mother…you know, working?”
Scotty was now worried too. “Sure. Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
He went into his mother’s room. It took him a full five minutes to wake her before she finally grumbled and opened one eye.
“Mom. Wake up.”
“What?”
“Vanessa White is downstairs. Leelah White’s daughter.”
“Vanessa? Yeah…what is she doing here?” Tina sat up and searched for a cigarette.
“Her mother didn’t come home. She hasn’t seen her for two days.”
She rubbed her eyes. “It’s Monday Scotty.”
“What’s that have to do with anything?”
“So she’s probably been locked up all weekend. She’ll call at nine.”
He frowned. “Well…if she got picked up why didn’t she call Vanessa or Vanessa’s aunt? She gets at least one phone call.”
Tina met his eyes. “Because cops can be jerks and if she made her one phone call, the phone is busy, someone doesn’t answer, then that’s it for her, whatever. It happens.”
Scotty sighed and headed out the door. He stopped suddenly. “You ever see her? Out on the streets?”
Tina gave him an unfriendly look, not bothering to answer.
He went back downstairs. Vanessa had stopped crying but she was rocking. She jumped up as soon as she saw Scotty.
“Does your mother know where my mama’s at?”
Scotty rubbed her arms. “Maybe. Tina said that she could be locked up over the weekend and didn’t get through on the one phone call. She said if she’s in jail then she’ll be able to call at nine this morning.”
Vanessa gave him a hopeful look. She quickly hugged him and Scotty’s arms went slowly around her. At least she was no longer trembling. His heart broke at her anguish.
“It’s okay Vanessa. Every
thing is going to be okay.”
He quickly dressed and then walked her to her aunt’s to wait for the phone call.
Callista opened the door looking frantic.
“Vanessa! Where have you been?!” The girl cringed at the look of anger on her aunt’s face. Callista looked at Scotty and then yanked her niece away from him. “What in the hell are you doing with that boy this early in the morning?”
Scotty’s face instantly went from concerned to angry. He glared at the loudmouthed woman, not forgetting the stories that Vanessa told of her cruelty and mistreatment.
Vanessa covered her eyes and started to sob again. “I want my mama!”
Her aunt shut the door in Scotty’s face but he could still hear her telling Vanessa to shut-up because it was too early for all the noise.
Scotty perched himself on the outside steps of the apartment and waited patiently.
~***~
At 9:05 am Callista’s phone rang. Five seconds later she began screaming.
~***~
The police came an hour later and explained that the body of a black woman had been found in the park. The details were given and Callista was taken away to identify the body.
Scotty waited until the wailing woman left and then he opened the door and walked into Jalissa’s apartment where the two girls were sitting on the couch hugging and crying. He crouched in front of them and placed his hands on their shoulders, attempting to soothe them.
Vanessa’s grandmother arrived by cab at around noon. Her strength was the only thing that reigned in Vanessa’s grief. Even Scotty’s presence didn’t do it. They drove away leaving Scotty and Jalissa alone. He offered to stay with her until her mother returned but she said no and then just curled up on the couch and sobbed herself to sleep.
Scotty would watch a few days later as movers went up to Garden Hilltop to move the possessions out of Leelah and Vanessa’s home. Whenever he saw Jalissa he asked how Vanessa was doing but the little girl said that Vanessa’s grandmother was mean and wouldn’t allow them to speak. It had something to do with their grandfather who Jalissa had never even met.
But one wonderful day Vanessa knocked on the door to Scotty’s apartment. Ginger opened the door and eyed her.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” Vanessa whispered. “Can I see Scotty?”
“He’s not home.”
The breath gushed out of her lungs in disappointment. Jalissa and aunt Callista had been at the funeral and Vanessa had nearly lost it when her grandmother said that she didn’t want her to have anything else to do with ‘those people’. Grandma had relented and said she could spend one day over there but it was mainly so that she could say goodbye and collect anything that she had left over ‘those people’s house’.
As soon as Callista saw Vanessa standing at the door, she went upstairs crying but Jalissa and Vanessa hugged each other happily.
“Scotty asks about you all the time. You should go over and say hello to him.” Jalissa said after they had visited for a while.
Vanessa swallowed in embarrassment. “I was a mess the last time he saw me.” She was still a mess but slowly she was figuring out how to make it without her mama. It helped being with grand mama because she looked so much like Mama and she had learned how to be strong after losing her husband. She would hug Vanessa and say, “This too shall pass.”
“Don’t be ashamed.” Jalissa said. “Scotty likes you. You know that, right?”
Vanessa nodded her head slowly. She knew. She peeked at Jalissa. “You don’t mind if I go over there? My grandma is kind of funny and…I don’t know when I’ll get to see you again.”
“Can you sneak and call me?” Jalissa asked.
Vanessa nodded. “Grandma doesn’t go out except to church, the store or bingo. But I can sneak and call.” Vanessa was a church going girl now and she had to admit that hearing someone talk about another world more beautiful than this gave her a great deal of comfort.
“You better go. The street lights are out and your grandmother said she was coming to get you at eight o’clock.”
So now Vanessa was standing there not knowing when the next time she would have an opportunity to see Scotty.
She suddenly felt Ginger’s hand in hers and the smaller girl pulled her into the apartment. “Scotty will be home when the streetlights are out.” The girl led her into the living room where there was a toddler who looked at her shyly.
Vanessa sat down on the couch next to them. “Are you the only one here?”
Ginger was already absorbed by the television set. “Yeah I’m babysitting TyTy.” The baby in question hid behind his big sister’s arm. Vanessa looked at the girl who couldn’t have been older than eight or nine. She was a pretty little girl but her eyes lacked a certain light that told Vanessa that she wasn’t quite right. The three of them sat there watching television for a while until the front door opened and Vanessa straightened in anticipation. Only it wasn’t Scotty, it was Tino.
He stopped and stared at her until Vanessa spoke shyly. “Hi Tino.” He stumbled a little as he entered the room and Vanessa figured he’d been out drinking.
“Are you moving in here?”
Vanessa looked at him in confusion. She shook her head. “No. I’m at my grandma’s house.” Tino blinked and frowned at her. After muttering something about 2-4-1-Kids he went into the kitchen. Ginger ignored him completely and Vanessa sighed and looked at her watch. Maybe Scotty would come home now.
A few minutes later the twins came in followed by Phonso who wheeled Scotty’s bike to its usual place against the wall. Each person looked at her curiously but didn’t speak as they headed straight for the kitchen for something to eat.
Ginger picked up the baby and carried him into the kitchen when the aroma of cooking food hit her leaving Vanessa on the couch alone. But that didn’t last too long. Tino came to the doorway of the living room and stared at her again while drinking a beer. Vanessa didn’t think he needed to be drinking a beer when he already appeared to be drunk, and his staring was making her uncomfortable so she gave him a half smile.
“Do you want something to eat?” He asked.
“No thank you.” She shook her head and Tino sat down next to her. He propped his elbows on his knees and then looked over at Vanessa. “I heard about your Mom.” Vanessa looked down at her hands that were folded tensely in her lap. “Juan is in jail and he ain’t coming out no time soon.” She met his eyes at the tone in his voice and saw that his brow was furrowed in a show of tenderness, which wasn’t a look that she was accustomed to seeing on his hardened face. “I’m still your family.” Vanessa felt her tears sting at those words. Family. Her mama was not her family any longer.
Big fat teardrops slipped from her eyes and she quickly wiped them away, having sworn to herself that she would never ever cry in front of people again. She did that enough each night when she lay in her familiar bed that now resided in her grandma’s unfamiliar spare bedroom.
She felt Tino’s touch on her cheek as he gently swept away her tears. “Don’t ever be scared. Don’t ever feel alone. I’ll always be here.” He wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder and she felt the tears coming faster and allowed herself to cry against his shoulder. He smelled funny, like he had been around burning tires or something. She didn’t like the smell but she welcomed the ability to release her tears while in someone’s caring arms. She’d done it enough with grandma, but grandma had cried her own solitary tears and it wasn’t fair to make her shed more. Maybe that is why she had wanted so badly to see Scotty. She remembered him holding her while she cried and sometimes she had to relive that memory in order to suppress the other images that tried to invade her mind.
Tino spoke gently to her allowing her to cry. “Don’t worry. You don’t worry about anything. You will always be taken care of. That is why I do the things that I do. You are all that I care about. It’s all for you. I’ll show you how to get by on the streets, how to stay alive, how to make money-”
“Now you put your trust in me and I will take us places.” Tino continued. “You will be living even better than you remember up on the Hilltop. Will you trust me? Will you trust me?” He whispered sounding insane. She was scared now. He stroked her hair and said shhh even though she hadn’t said a word. Then he kissed her again and this time his mouth lingered and moved over hers and she realized that he was kissing her like the people in the movies!
She pulled back quickly, cringing from him.
“Trust me. Will you trust me?” He whispered staring deeply into her eyes.
“I…I have to go home now.” She whispered. But he wouldn’t back up and allow her to get up.
“Not until you say you trust me,” His hand gently stroked her cheek and Vanessa began to tremble in fear, thinking about what someone had done to her mother, what someone had done to a little girl in an abandoned building…
“Tino.” The older boy looked over his shoulder at Phonso who was watching him sternly. “Leave her alone.”
Tino laughed but backed down. “Just trying to make little sister feel better.”
The front door opened and Scotty was suddenly there. He looked at Vanessa in surprise where she sat cringing from Tino who was crouched a little too closely to her. Phonso was staring at Tino, and the little boy was holding a hammer in his hand! Suddenly Vanessa jumped to her feet and dashed past Scotty and out the door.
“Vanessa!” He followed her but she was practically running. Her hands were shielding her face as she hurried away. When he caught up with her he took hold of her arm but she screeched and jerked away. He let her go when he saw fresh tears in her eyes and that she was looking at him in terror. He watched her until she got to her aunt’s apartment and then he turned and walked home slowly.
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