by Alicia Rades
I nodded. I was beginning to understand. “But you can reverse it, right?” Please, tell me you can reverse it. I can’t live in two realities forever.
Chloe gave me another friendly smile. “I can’t.”
My heart immediately dropped in my chest. Then why are you smiling at me? I wanted to say.
“But you can,” she stated.
At least there was hope, but what did that mean? I wasn’t gifted in the paranormal like she was. I hadn’t spent years traveling the world studying it. I didn’t have the slightest clue on how to reverse this whole thing, to get back to a single reality. Chloe must have noticed the worry on my face because she offered to clarify.
“You have to make your decision, and then everything will go back to the way it’s supposed to be.”
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. That was it? It was that simple? I drew in another long breath. Okay. I was ready. Chloe didn’t say anything as I pulled open the jewelry box.
I stared down into the box, knowing this was the easiest decision I’d ever made. This was the obvious decision all along, the one I should have made weeks ago. The angel wing pendant sat on one side, the purple bracelet on the other. In between them, my rose ring. I noticed immediately how symbolic it seemed, how the jewelry box was split into two sections and the one piece of jewelry I had that represented me sat in the middle. I reached into the box and then held the rose ring up so Chloe could see it.
“Me. I choose me.”
CHAPTER 20
When I lifted my gaze from the ring on my finger, Chloe held her fists out in my direction. Confusion overtook me.
“So, which boy will it be?” she asked. “Logan, or Aaron?”
I glanced around quickly. Where had my jewelry box gone? Another look down at my hand told me I still wore the rose ring, but then I noticed something else. Instead of the homecoming dress I was in just moments before, I wore jeans. Realization washed over me, and I gently pushed Chloe’s hands away. “Neither.”
A smile slowly crept across her face. “So, will you be needing these back?” She opened her hands to reveal the two pieces of jewelry in them.
“No,” I almost answered, but I paused mid-breath. I wouldn’t be needing them, but the least I could do was give them back to the owners. “Actually, yeah. I’ll take them.”
After slipping them in my pocket, I handed all the cash I had across the table. “Thank you for your help.”
“Anytime,” she responded with a smile.
I stood and took the few steps toward the beaded curtain. Before I crossed through it, I inhaled a deep breath. I closed my eyes and pushed through the waterfall of beads. When I opened them, the first thing I noticed was the light flooding the room. I’d walked in here at dark and came out in mid-day. And then I spotted Alaina, just as I expected to find her.
“How’d it go?” she asked.
I smiled. “I made a decision. Come on, I’ll tell you about it in the car.” Before I made it out the door, I heard the beads in the doorway again. I turned back to Chloe, who wore a knowing smile on her face. “Thank you,” I told her one last time before following Alaina out the door.
“So,” Alaina dragged out the word as she buckled herself in the driver’s seat. “Who’d you choose?”
I let the silence hang there for a moment to draw out the suspense. I also wasn’t sure if she would understand my decision. How could I tell her I hadn’t chosen either of them?
“Come on,” she encouraged. “Didn’t the psychic lady help you?”
“She did, but the thing is, I didn’t choose Logan or Aaron.”
“What?” Alaina took her foot off the gas for a second and stared at me in surprise. “I thought you said she helped you.”
I nodded. “She did. And I decided that I don’t need either of them. I chose me.” I pointed to my own chest proudly.
“Wow,” Alaina said in admiration. “I didn’t even think of that as an option. And you know what?” Her gaze flickered to mine then back on the road. “I think it’s the best decision you’ve ever made. Hey, is that Chinese place on this block or the next one?”
Oh, yeah! I completely forgot about going out for Chinese. Yum! “It’s past that stop light. Oh, and Alaina?”
“Yeah?”
“I’d like to submit a drawing for the art night. What do you think? Will you help me choose one?”
She beamed back at me. “I’d love to help!”
***
Even though I didn’t choose Logan or Aaron, I decided I couldn’t just leave them hanging. The next morning, I texted them both at breakfast asking them to meet me at the café for lunch. Logan texted back right away agreeing to the meeting, and Aaron’s text came shortly afterward.
In my room, I browsed through my shirt drawer and wondered what to wear. At the bottom of my drawer, I found a purple dolman style t-shirt that I hadn’t worn in months because both Aaron and Logan said they hated the style. I liked it, so I slipped it on. At the mirror, I pulled half of my hair up and secured it with bobby pins while the other half hung loose around my shoulders. This is me, I thought as I stared back at myself. I didn’t have to impress anyone, and for the first time in a long time, I felt truly comfortable with myself.
Before leaving, I double checked that I had their jewelry with me and that my ring was still on my finger. It was. Then I hopped on my bike and pedaled to the café. I expected to arrive first, but as soon as I entered, I spotted Logan and Aaron seated next to each other in a booth. They both noticed me, and they watched as I crossed the room and slid into the seat across from them.
Our waitress, Laura, showed up at our table as soon as I sat down. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
“No,” I told her. “I’m good, thanks.”
Aaron didn’t waste a second as soon as she walked away, although I didn’t expect him to. “So, Maddie, who is it going to be?”
Both of their faces had fallen like they already expected me to choose the other guy. I knew two hearts would break today, but I also knew that this was what had to be done. They would heal, and so would I.
“Well …” I reached into my pocket and placed each piece of jewelry in front of their respective owner.
Both Logan’s and Aaron’s faces lit up when they saw their piece of jewelry sitting in front of them. A split second later, they both noticed the other piece of jewelry on the table.
Logan frowned. “What does this mean?”
I placed my hand on the table in clear view, but I didn’t bother explaining the significance of the ring on my finger. “I’m not choosing either of you.”
“What?” they asked together. A look of shock hit them both.
“You can’t just not make a decision,” Aaron stated.
I blinked a few times. How couldn’t he understand? “I did make a decision. And I chose neither of you. I chose me.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “You chose you?”
“Look.” I leaned away from them until my back pressed up against the cushion behind me. “I need time to figure me out first before I throw someone else into the mix. I can either figure out who I am, or I’ll end up changing to please someone else. I need time to learn more about myself. I hope we can all continue to be friends, though.”
Though the announcement surprised them, they both relaxed their shoulders as if they accepted it.
Aaron was the first to compose himself. “Friends,” he agreed.
Logan nodded his head along. “Of course we can still be friends.”
“Thank you, guys,” I told them as sincerely as I felt it.
They both reached out to take their own piece of jewelry back. It was like they were taking their romantic feelings back, too, a symbol that they really meant what they said about friendship.
EPILOGUE
“You’re really going without a date?” Emily asked for about the hundredth time. She sat on the floor at the foot of Alaina’s bed while Alaina helped tw
ist her blond hair into a knot.
I had an odd sense of déjà vu, though I’d gotten used to that over the past several weeks. I reminded myself that the déjà vu would soon be over. On the bright side, my homework had been a breeze so far since I’d already done most of it twice. Though I’d experienced that feeling of having “been there before” often since school started, I still never quite knew what to expect. Going stag to the dance meant everything about tonight would be different—at least, I hoped.
“I really am,” I answered. I stood in front of Alaina’s full-length mirror attached to the back of her door and smoothed out my dress. I’d bought it at the mall when we went dress shopping last weekend. It was a deep purple fabric with spaghetti strap sleeves and rhinestones around the chest area. I absolutely loved it.
“You’re brave,” Holly said from across the room, where she twisted her own dark hair into an updo. “If I didn’t have a date, I probably wouldn’t be going.”
I tore my gaze from the mirror and glanced down at the rose-shaped ring on my finger. “I have a date,” I defended. “I’m going with myself.”
Emily and Holly rolled their eyes in sync, but Holly was the one to speak. “I don’t think that counts as a date.”
“Okay,” Emily said. She shifted slightly on the floor, which earned her a scolding from Alaina. “I just have to ask, Maddie. What exactly does this mean? Have you written off love forever? Are you ever going to have a boyfriend again?”
I laughed and leaned against the wall next to me. “Of course I’ll have a boyfriend again! I just want to be a single for a while, figure me out first. I don’t have to be with a guy just because he likes me. I don’t need a boyfriend just to have one.”
Emily took a deep breath. “But you’re still keeping your options open, right?”
I nodded. “Right. I’m not going to completely write off love. If the right guy comes along … well, I wouldn’t want to pass up that chance.”
Alaina raised her eyebrows. “So you’re saying neither Aaron nor Logan were the right guy?”
As much as I’d thought about this topic over the past several weeks, I’d mostly avoided talking about it with my friends. I didn’t think they really understood where I was coming from, and how could they? They weren’t there to experience it all.
“I think we’re all better off being friends,” I stated confidently.
Holly spoke while admiring her updo in the mirror. “I really meant what I said, Maddie. You’re brave.” Her words came out sounding genuine this time.
“Thank you,” I told her with a smile.
Emily glanced into the handheld mirror next to her while Alaina brushed away the last stray strands and locked her hair into place with a spritz of hairspray. “Are you ready for your beautifying session?” Emily asked me once she’d set the mirror back down. “You’re already in your dress, so let’s get to work on your hair.”
“Beautifying session?” Alaina joked. “More like a torture session.”
We all laughed together, but I gave in and let Emily do my hair. When she asked if I wanted it up or down, I told her half up and half down. With thick hair, I liked it best that way.
“Whatever you want,” she agreed and then ran a brush through it.
Alaina hopped off the bed and grabbed her phone from her desk next to Holly. “You know what I forgot to do?” she asked. “I was so wrapped up in homecoming stuff that I forgot to check on the results of the art night.” She typed something into her phone while she spoke. As soon as the web page loaded, she squealed. “Oh my gosh! Maddie, we both won!”
“What?” I asked in surprise, hopping up out of Emily’s grasp to check out the screen.
“Yeah,” Alaina said. “That picture of the flower garden got first, I got second, and you got third. Isn’t that awesome!”
“Yeah!” I said back with an equal amount of enthusiasm. It’s not like we won anything, just bragging rights, but I could hardly believe it. I mean, I felt bad that I kind of booted out whoever won third place while my heart was split—I never did catch who came in third—but I’d put a lot of work into my drawing of a rose, and I figured that in this version of reality, I deserved it.
It wasn’t long after we’d all put the finishing touches on our hair and makeup that the doorbell rang, sending a rush of excitement through my body. We all hurried to the door and welcomed in our group of friends. Alaina’s parents took pictures of us before we piled into Blake’s mom’s van. I was happy to see that Logan had brought a date along, a girl from choir named Jennifer. They sat in the back seat together next to Emily, whose date was meeting us at the café. I squeezed in next to Alaina and Jordan in the second row.
I hadn’t talked much to Jennifer in the past, but as we all chatted throughout dinner, I came to like her more and more. She seemed nice. She talked about music when Emily brought it up, and she raved about Logan’s guitar, Lucy.
I smiled at the mention of it. It sounded like Jennifer really enjoyed his songs. Maybe one day he’d write one for her. The thought warmed my heart, and I realized by the end of dinner that I could honestly say I was happy for Logan.
A slow song played through the speakers when we entered the gymnasium. My friends and I claimed a table at the edge of the dance floor, and most of them paired off to catch the end of the song. I stayed back, taking a seat at the table and angling my chair toward them to watch. Everyone, it seemed, was smiling, and I noticed a smile creep across my own face.
I caught a glimpse of Aaron on the dance floor. He spun in slow circles with a girl named Tess, one of Dani’s friends from cheerleading. He threw his head back and laughed at something Tess said. I actually liked seeing him have fun without me.
Though I enjoyed seeing everyone so happy, my nerves remained on edge. There was a slight sense of déjà vu here. The blue streamers and white table cloths brought back strong memories of the last time I’d been here. I half expected a fight to break out and leave me lying on the ground staring up at the twinkling Christmas lights.
When an upbeat tempo began playing, cutting through the slow, soft melody of the last song, I hopped up from my chair and joined my friends on the dance floor. Jordan busted his talented moves while Blake tried his hand at a few complicated moves, which didn’t work out well for him. He didn’t seem to notice.
My gaze drifted past Jordan to Logan and Aaron. My muscles tightened so much that I stopped dancing. The music seemed to fade, and my attention focused on the two guys. Their expressions both read aggression.
Are they going to fight again? I wondered. Over what?
Aaron moved, and for a moment, I was afraid he was going for Logan’s face again. But then he backed away, almost in a hopping motion. Logan made his own move, and it was only a split second later that I realized they weren’t fighting at all. They were having a dance off. Both of them eased their posture. Logan’s eyes crinkled as he grinned, and I could faintly hear Aaron’s laughter above the music. That’s when the thumping bass came back into focus. Aaron held his hand out to Logan, and he shook it in that macho way guys do.
The tension in my shoulders eased. They were being friendly toward each other. It seemed so odd after everything I’d experienced. I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to it—to them being friends—but it seemed like I’d made the right decision. When I turned them both down, they turned to each other and became friends because of it.
“Hey, Maddie!”
The sound of my name pulled me from my thoughts, and I sprang back to full attention, pulling my eyes off the laughing boys across the dance floor. I turned to the voice and found Dani bouncing on her feet to the beat.
“What are you just standing there for? Move your feet, girl!” She giggled, and I did as she instructed.
The one thing I missed about having my heart split was the friendship I’d built with Dani. Though I hadn’t gone back into cheerleading, we’d still been assigned to the same group in English, and I was slowly building back up the
friendship she never even knew existed. So far, we’d really connected.
“Having fun?” she shouted over the music.
I nodded.
“Still happy with your choice?” she asked.
I glanced across the dance floor to Aaron and Logan without consciously deciding to. They were engaged in another mini dance off and laughing hysterically at each other. A moment after I looked over there, I realized she couldn’t be referring to them. She didn’t know about that.
“Your dress,” she clarified, still moving her body to the music. “You told me in English you weren’t sure if you were going to get a new dress or borrow one from your sister.”
“Right. I’m still happy with it. It was even on sale.”
“Well, it’s pretty!” she told me before turning to another group of people behind her.
In her absence, my gaze drifted once again across the dance floor. I found myself contemplating her question in the way I’d originally interpreted it. Was I happy with my decision when it came to Logan and Aaron? It hardly took a beat for me to answer that question confidently. Yes, even after all these weeks, I believed I’d made the right choice.
This time when I left the dance that night, I didn’t leave confused and conflicted. I left happier than I’d ever felt in my life. When I dressed in my pajamas that night and curled up with Parrot on my bed, it was in that moment that I realized I was finally whole.
About the Author
Alicia Rades is an award-winning young adult paranormal author with a love for supernatural stories set in the modern world. When she’s not plotting out fiction novels, you can find her writing content for various websites or plowing her way through her never-ending reading list. Alicia holds a bachelor's degree in communications with an emphasis on professional writing. She currently lives in Wisconsin with her husband and two cats.
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