THE UNRELIABLE NARRATOR
Imagine being told a story by someone whose version of events just didn’t seem to match up with things as you saw them. Perhaps you felt that person was skewing things to fit his perspective—or maybe he wasn’t that perceptive. How were you supposed to know the truth? Enter the unreliable narrator.
Sometimes the narrator may not be telling the truth or is telling the truth about an event from his own skewed point of view. The credibility of the narrator comes into question as a result of psychological instability, powerful bias, lack of knowledge or understanding, or even lying to deliberately mislead the reader. Unreliable narrators are usually first-person narrators, but third-person narrators can be unreliable, too.
Some would argue that in young adult literature all narrators are unreliable. The young protagonist and other young characters often lack the experience and emotional and psychological maturity to relate an event accurately, particularly one with a high emotional value. A young teen protagonist will exhibit adult personality characteristics and at the same time retain many aspects of childhood behavior. These would include outright lying, exaggerations, flights of fantasy, and imaginary beliefs, although a clearly identified dream scene is not considered an example of an unreliable narrator. In Mark Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Huck’s inexperience leads him to make unreliable judgments about other characters in the story.
Unreliable narration, particularly by a first-person narrator, can add insight to the character’s personality and provide plot twists and satisfying revelation endings. It also forces readers to reconsider how they experience the story, especially their sympathies for the protagonist.
- ADVICE FROM PUBLISHERS ROW -
Wendy Lamb, publisher of Wendy Lamb Books:
“The right POV is the one that allows the author to tell the story in the most compelling and believable way. It unlocks the author’s deepest, most useful and fruitful sources for the idea.
“Sometimes the author writes a draft in one POV and the story isn’t working. Trying the next draft in a different POV can be very helpful. If that second POV feels more natural, then it’s the one to use. If it also feels wrong, that can help clarify problems in the story that need to be resolved. Perhaps the wrong character is the narrator!”
COMMON POV PROBLEMS
• Changing the POV for no particular reason. Changing the POV must be done only to tell the story more effectively. Arbitrary changes will distract the reader and break the flow of the story.
• Shifting the POV too many times. There are times in a story when it’s necessary to change the point of view. These changes should be made only as required. In a story told in first person, the POV may briefly change to third person for a short time while the character is not in a scene.
• Changing the viewpoint character in a scene. When the viewpoint character changes in a scene, it becomes difficult to know who is speaking or who is taking part in the action. A viewpoint change should take place at a chapter break.
• Beginning a scene without establishing the viewpoint immediately. When a viewpoint change takes place, it’s essential that the reader know as soon as possible, to maintain the continuity of the story.
• Allowing the viewpoint character to use a physical sense in an impossible way. With the exception of the third-person-omniscient point of view, each point of view restricts what each character can know and understand about the story. In first person a character can’t know his face turned red from embarrassment unless he is looking in a mirror.
• Allowing the viewpoint character to experience the thoughts or intent of a non-viewpoint character. Other characters cannot know another character’s thoughts directly. They have to be implied or suggested by the behavior of the other character.
Remember, point of view is both the vantage point from which your novel is told and an opinion. What point of view is going to add the most impact to your story? Once you know this, start planning how you will blend it in with your characters—for example, if using first-person narrative, think about how your character’s voice will affect how the reader perceives the novel’s events. Consider how you want to use point of view to shape character and direct the reader’s feelings about the plot.
CHAPTER 8
LEARNING TO
WRITE DIALOGUE
Dialogue is the star of a young adult novel. It stands center stage in the spotlight and brings characters to life. It’s the language of a story spoken by the characters to one another but overheard by the reader. A character’s dialogues should create an image in a reader’s mind so that he can watch the action of the story unfold.
Think of dialogue as a direct window into the character’s mind. Someone’s language reflects how he thinks. Use dialogue in your novel to display your characters’ personalities and make them stand out to your audience.
DIALOGUE ESSENTIALS
Dialogue is when two or more characters in a novel talk directly to one another. That may sound a lot like a conversation; however, dialogue is not conversation.
In any story, when two or more characters come together they communicate with each other, and usually that communication is in the form of talk. But dialogue between characters is not at all like real conversation between people. (If anyone doubts this, go to www.whitehouse.gov and read a verbatim transcript of any news conference.)
In normal conversation:
• People do not talk in complete sentences all the time.
• Long, complex sentences are almost never used except in formal speech.
• People do not use proper grammar.
• Conversation involves give-and-take between people.
• The give-and-take is not smooth and consists of starts and stops with many speech hesitations such as, “uh,” “well,” “you know,” and other similar sounds and expressions.
• Conversation often contains widely differing emotional levels.
• People often interrupt each other.
• Rarely do people discuss things they already know.
• People often do not or cannot say exactly what they mean.
• People exaggerate and outright lie.
• Endless, banal chatter is boring.
• Silence is an important part of conversation.
• Repeatedly saying a person’s first name is never done except in extreme emotional situations.
• People’s voices have a distinctive timbre and sound.
• Body language used during conversation reflects people’s emotions and is an important part of communication.
A writer has to take all of these factors into consideration to create dialogue that is not true conversation but still sounds like conversation to the reader. Every writer finds dialogue difficult to write well at times. The reason for this is that dialogue is at war with itself, trying to achieve mutually exclusive goals. On one hand, it has to sound like clear and understandable conversation between characters, but at the same time it can’t be the “real” conversation used in day-to-day communication between people.
Good dialogue often has subtext. It shows the characters’ surface interactions, and at the same time it often carries a subtext of what the character has not said that is also important. The subtext gives good dialogue much of its meaning and power. For example, consider the following eight-word line of dialogue.
A fourteen-year-old protagonist sits down in a restaurant. A waitress comes over, hands him a menu, and asks, “What can I get for you today, hon?”
On the surface, it’s a question a reader would expect a character to hear in a restaurant. The unspoken subtext, however, is much more complex. Those eight words allow the reader to visualize and learn a great deal about the characters and the setting. The waitress is not working in an upscale, three-star restaurant. She is a working-class woman who likes people and works in a small diner or greasy-spoon truck stop. The protagonist may not be a fast-food junkie and likes eating in a lit
tle more formal setting, but not too formal, or there may not be a fast-food joint in his town.
Compelling, effective dialogue with its accompanying subtexts can be identified by asking these questions.
• Does the dialogue belong to the characters? A character should be able to freely express himself in a way that reflects his personality. Age, education, experience, and upbringing help define a character’s dialogue.
• Does it sound natural, but not too natural? The character’s speech should have a flowing, smoothly executed rhythm to it that does not draw attention to the dialogue. If the reader has to struggle through the character’s speech, he will drop out of the story unless that speech is a part of the character’s personality—for example, Hagrid in the Harry Potter series.
• Does the dialogue have a point? Each line of dialogue should have a purpose and should not be idle chatter to fill a space. People commonly do this when they make small talk, but it should never be used in fiction, because it can really slow the story down.
• Does the dialogue use attribution only when it’s needed? The writing should not have extraneous dialogue tags that are not absolutely necessary.
• Does the dialogue present the voices of the characters so that the reader can distinguish between them? Each character should be “heard” by the reader as a distinct voice. A character’s vocabulary, grammar, timbre, pitch, and so on, all make up the vision of the character in the reader’s mind.
• Does the character’s dialogue fit within the scene? The environment and setting work together to change the character’s dialogue. These things are important, but don’t overdo it. Less is more. Give the reader enough to visualize the scene and move on.
• Do the characters communicate at different levels? Not all people have the ability to express their ideas as well as others. This lack of ability can help define a character’s personality. Characters frequently fail to communicate at all, which can create conflict that will add depth to a plot.
PURPOSE OF DIALOGUE
The purpose of dialogue is far more than putting words in a character’s mouth to tell a story. A line of dialogue is an ambassador that works on behalf of the character. Dialogue should:
• Create and develop conflict in the story. Unlike young adult novels written even fifteen years ago, readers want to see and become involved with the conflict of the story immediately. There is simply no time for a leisurely development of the plot and detailed introduction of characters. Readers want to know what terrible things are looming ahead of the characters not resolved right up front. The characters’ dialogue must start out the story fast, keep to the point, and keep the plot moving to the conclusion of the story.
• Convey the emotions of the characters, express feelings, share experiences, build trust, and create a bond between the character and the reader. The reader must sympathize with the character by understanding the character’s situation and identifying his own position in life with that of the character.
• Advance the plot. The reader wants to follow the plot.
• Set the scene. Dialogue can help reveal the world in which the characters are living. You can often tell the setting by words or phrases the characters use. For example, you should be able to tell if the characters are in the South or the Northeast.
• Provide character development. Dialogue reveals the personality of your characters. Their personalities should reflect in the sound of their dialogue. A nervous character might speak in short, incomplete sentences and rush over other characters’ dialogue. An adult will speak with longer, more formal sentences and a larger vocabulary than a twelve-year-old character.
• Present exposition. Carefully chosen dialogue will pull the reader into the story by having the characters share their knowledge of their lives and situation with the reader. This dialogue is frequently overdone and becomes too long. The objective is to give the reader only as much as he needs to become part of the story and no more. There will always be time for more exposition later.
• Break up long blocks of narrative and manage white space. Large blocks of unbroken text present a formidable, brooding, threatening countenance toward young adult readers of all ages. Ask a school librarian how junior high school kids select books to read for required book reports. Use of dialogue with its shorter sentences opens up thick blocks of text on the page by providing white space. The shorter lines of dialogue are easier to read and understand, and they allow the story to move along quickly.
MECHANICS OF WRITING DIALOGUE
Given how close dialogue is to conversation, it might seem like the easiest thing in the world. It isn’t. So here’s a quick guide to the technical aspects of writing dialogue.
Dialogue Punctuation
Few rules in writing are as inflexible as dialogue punctuation rules. Any beginning writer who strays from accepted use does so at his own peril. An author struggling with dialogue punctuation can find many guides on the Web as well as in books and magazine articles. Learning the rules, however, does not necessarily mean an author can apply them when he’s sitting at the keyboard. The best way to conquer dialogue challenges is to find one or two novels written by successful authors in your genre who use a lot of dialogue. Examine how their dialogue is written and follow the patterns they use. You will have an entire novel demonstrating correct structure and usage.
- ADVICE FROM PUBLISHERS ROW -
Cecile Goyette, executive editor at Blue Apple Books:
“E. R. Frank’s books certainly impressed me in this regard [dialogue]. And Laurie Halse Anderson, Patricia Reilly Giff, and Walter Dean Myers certainly have an impressive grasp of this element. That said, I don’t think YA literary dialogue necessarily has to be ultra-similar to real-life contemporary speech to be effective. Very stylized dialogue that doesn’t sound like people actually talk or talked can convey persona, plot, and psyche in unique and enjoyable ways—like a particular form of music or poetry.”
Andrea Pinkney, vice president and executive editor at Scholastic:
“The strongest writers are those who write every single day. Like Rocky Balboa sprinting the steps of the Philadelphia Museum. The serious writer is one who focuses on his or her own achievements and will strain heart, muscles, and nerves to get to the top.”
Kat Brzozowski, associate editor at Thomas Dunne Books/St. Martin’s Press:
“For dialogue, read it or say it out loud to someone else, like a script. People talk very differently than writers write. It can be difficult to capture that authentic teen voice, without it sounding like a caricature of a teenager. Sometimes teens like to read about people that are smarter than them. That’s why I think someone like John Green does so well, his characters sound so witty and smart. Erring on the side of dialogue that’s sounds natural as an adult is sometimes better than failing to capture how teenagers actually talk.”
Internal Dialogue
When a character is talking to himself and speaking his exact thoughts, they should be formatted the same as spoken dialogue. If the character is paraphrasing his ideas, italics can be used.
Dialogue Tags
These are identifiers, also known as speech tags, tag lines, or attributions, that are used to tell the reader which character is speaking, vary the pace of conversation, describe the “sound” of the speaker, and add some simultaneous action. This seems to be straightforward usage, but many writers have difficulty with dialogue tags. Improper use or overuse of dialogue tags can easily ruin a great story and mark an author as a rank tyro. Problems with dialogue tags fall into four categories.
Said Bookisms
The word said is the Clydesdale workhorse of most dialogue tags and does most of the work in any novel. “Said bookisms” are an author’s attempt to substitute an artificial, literary verb to avoid using the word said in a dialogue tag. The term was invented at a science fiction writers conference where the writers collected all the alternates for “said” into a fictitious book. From there, the terms �
�said bookisms” or “bookisms” have passed into general use. Said bookisms include dialogue tags such as these.
“Up against the wall,” snarled the cop.
“I didn’t do it,” he squeaked.
The list of said bookisms is extensive, but some commonly used terms include retorted, hissed, smirked, barked, frowned, laughed, sneered, demanded, replied, and on and on. (The gold standard for over-the-top said bookisms is a character who “ejaculates” a line of dialogue.) Some said bookisms are impossible. How can a character “frown,” “grin,” or “grimace” his dialogue?
A writer will argue that “said” is boring and that by using bookisms he can add color and interest to his work. The author is half-right. “Said” is boring, but that’s why it’s used. The dialogue tags should disappear into the background of the story. “Said” becomes invisible so that the reader can focus on the dialogue and the narrative of a scene. Bookisms are speed bumps. When a reader encounters one, he is thrown out of the story and has to reboot his imagination to return to the scene. They also add an unrealistic, often exaggerated, melodramatic tone to a scene, reducing the impact of the story. The key is to make sure the reader can hear your characters speak the emotions and to not have the author tell the reader what the emotions are. I encourage writers to use bookisms sparingly.
Tom Swifties
These are adverbs attached to the verb in a dialogue tag in an effort to emphasize some emotion contained in the dialogue. They are adverbial puns named after the Tom Swift adventure books written at the turn of the twentieth century, which frequently abused dialogue tags. Here are two examples:
“The temperature is going down,” Tom said coolly.
“I need a pencil sharpener,” said Tom bluntly.
Writing Great Books for Young Adults Page 9