by T. R. Graves
"Yeah. I made you sprain your ankle so you could fawn all over that damn fictional angel the way she does. That sounds just like something I'd do, Carles."
"At least you admit it," I'd said smugly, picking up the reader and completely ignoring Jayden.
It had taken a full thirty minutes before he'd left the tent, and during that entire time, he and I'd never said another word. Before nightfall, I'd finished Tawney's book and had fallen madly in love with an angel, one who when described in the book could have been Jayden's doppelgänger. I'd suspected since that day that Tawney had been secretly in love with our Surrogate Soldier for a long time.
I'd never been sure what the fact that I'd loved the book and its main character every bit as much as Tawney said about me, but I'd been sure it had something to do with the crush I'd had on him until I found out Dad made him spend time with me.
The memories of the fallen angel and Tawney's obsession with that book reminded me that Jayden wouldn't be able to toy with her emotions. He was right that her mood had lightened and she'd had a boost to her energy level, one that couldn't be engineered through the MicroPharm, after Jayden began flirting. Still, the short-term solution wouldn't be best for her in the long term.
I was almost begging when I said, "You can't make her think you like her just so she'll be able to make it through this trip?"
"Don't look at me like that. I'm not tricking Tawney. I love her. It's just that I love her more like a sister than anything else. Right now, I'm doing what I have to do to get her to the next safe house so she can be made comfortable," he admitted without one ounce of guilt.
"Jesus! You're a bigger bastard than I suspected," I fumed.
"There's always something that can keep people going when they think they can't take one more step. For Tawney, it's the promise of a great love story at the end," Jayden confided quietly.
My suspicions grew to an all-time high. "So… this is how you've been dealing with us for years. Complimenting and flirting with Tawney." I took a deep breath and widened my eyes in unfathomable realization. "And me. You've been taunting, criticizing, even challenging me, and now I know it was so you could get me to do what you wanted me to do," I angrily whisper-shouted.
When Gran's gentle snore hitched, Jayden put his fingers to his lips, reminding me they needed to stay asleep in order for everything to stay on track and for everyone to be as rested as possible. I couldn't help but stare back at him and wonder if he'd ever had a genuine moment in his life. Even right now, he was trying to create the perfect situation for our trek through these woods.
"You make me sick," I spat, getting up and taking the few stomps necessary to make it to my tent.
Without a backward glance and despite him saying, "Carlie… it's not like that," I dropped to my knees and crawled into my tent.
I'd always given in to Jayden's taunts. In some ways, they'd always been fun because he could give as well as he took, meaning I've never had to censor my words or my thoughts with him. The one thing that had never occurred to me was that he'd been doing all of it as a form of manipulation.
I was so angry, so hurt, so betrayed that I suspected I might never fall asleep. I couldn't have been more wrong. Within minutes, I was dead to the world, in the middle of the forest with an asshole Surrogate guarding my safety.
No matter how pissed I was, how much Tawney liked him, or how much I wanted to throat punch Jayden, I couldn't stop dreaming of his beautiful green eyes or the way I physically longed for him to kiss me.
And I wanted it in the worst way.
Chapter 10
Enamored
Carlie
I have no idea how long I slept, but I do know when I awakened, the sun was up, the camp was bustling, and I was disoriented. I expected the soldier in Jayden to take over and have us up and gone before the sun dawned over the horizon. The fact that we still hadn't even left along with everything else about the state of our camp was a surprise for me.
Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I crawled from my tent and looked around, trying to figure out what was happening. If Tawney wasn't kneeling in front of the fire with a smile a mile wide on her face, I'd worry she'd gotten worse overnight and we'd been forced to stay put.
"Carlie's up. Gran, breakfast is ready," Tawney melodically sang.
Still puzzled by the scene before me, one that looked like we were in no sort of danger at all, I ignored the fact that—just like she had her entire life—the wide-eyed Tawney reminded me of a fictional cartoon character who was so beautiful inside and out that she could enamor even the wildest forest animal. Or the most distant Surrogate Soldier.
There was no denying that sleep had worked wonders on her. She was back to the old Tawney, the one who was happy, bubbly, and energetic. The last thing in the whole planet I wanted to do after the fit I threw last night was to admit that Jayden was a miracle worker, that his techniques might actually be solidly based in facts.
I cursed under my breath. Over at the fire, Tawney had a dozen eggs of all sizes and shapes in a pot filled with boiling water. Obviously, we were having boiled eggs for breakfast. What I didn't know was how, when, and where Jayden was able to gather so many.
Good Lord, he really is a miracle worker. Speaking of…
I casually glanced around, and the tall blond soldier was nowhere in sight.
"Where is Jayden?" I asked.
"He's at the lake, getting cleaned up," an enamored and grinning Tawney said without skipping a beat as she drained the water from the speckled eggs.
Separating the eggs by size, she grabbed the largest three, cracked the shells, and peeled them before setting them to the side. I suspected those were specially chosen for her beloved Jayden.
When she offered the next largest three to me, I shook my head and pointed to the three smallest ones and said, "I'm not that hungry. I'll take those."
Tawney looked as if she were about to disagree with me until I gave her a significant stare that dared her to question me. I felt guilty the instant I did it because she was too kind to stand up to any form of intimidation. Much like Jayden, I was using her non-confrontational personality to get what I wanted. Mentally, I justified my actions by admitting what I was doing was in her best interests.
Isn't it the same for Jayden?
After a long-suffering sigh, I said, "I'm going to find Jayden. I need to know what the plan is for today."
I waited for my cousin to point me in the direction of the lake. Then I headed that way. I assumed it wouldn't be far, but I was wrong. Yet again. After a few minutes of walking, I was sure I was lost. I cringed when I thought about Jayden having to come and find me. There would be no end to the taunting I'd get then.
Oddly enough, the more I thought about how I might actually be lost, the more anxious I became and the more lost I felt. It was a vicious cycle that had my heart racing and my palms sweating until I saw the lake through a tiny break in the trees.
By that time, I'd forgotten all about finding Jayden. My only concern was getting out of the cover of the trees, looking around, and seeing where the hell I was. But when I saw him come out of the water and climb up onto one of the many rocks edging the water, I was relieved. At least, I was until I realized he was absolutely and completely naked. Every bruised and rippled muscle lining his chest abdomen and arms were on full display for my viewing.
Before I could slink back where I came from and pretend I'd never seen him or the pie-shaped tattoo on his chest, I yelped and covered my eyes with my hands.
"Holy shit, Carlie! What the hell are you doing?" Jayden shouted.
By then, I'd turned my back to him. I had no idea what he was doing, but I could tell by the frantic movements from behind me that he was working pretty hard at getting some clothes on.
"I-I'm sorry. I-I was coming to find you," I stuttered.
"Well, you found me," Jayden said. "What the hell was so urgent you couldn't wait until I made it back to camp?"
My face felt like it
had caught fire again. "Nothing. I-I should have waited. You're right."
When I felt a hand wrap around my arm and try to twist me around, I resisted. I had no intention of looking Jayden in the face ever again. I just couldn't because I would forever be reminded of this moment.
"You can turn around. I'm dressed," Jayden said, and the flash of anger he'd felt seconds ago had vanished. It had been replaced by an easy laugh.
The last thing I could do was laugh about what had just happened. The last thing. I was uncomfortable and embarrassed, and I still couldn't turn toward him.
"I'll meet you back at the camp," I said, jerking my arm away from him.
Before I could take the first step, Jayden ran around me and stood blocking my path and preventing me from going anywhere until we talked.
"Tell me what you needed, Carlie," he ordered.
I kept my eyes on his feet. They were still bare of shoes, but the frayed edges of the bottom of his jeans covered most of them.
"I was just… I was just wondering why we've not packed up and left yet. I thought we agreed that we were going to get to the next safe house as soon as possible… you know, because of Tawney."
"We'll be moving out within the hour, Carlie. I slept longer than I'd planned last night, meaning you barely slept. I was trying to give you a little more time before we pulled out," Jayden explained.
If he hadn't admitted the night before that he does what he has to do to get Tawney and me to be his good little soldiers, I'd have thought he cared for me. I'd have thought Jayden was more beautiful than ever with the water dripping from ends of his hair and into the day-old beard covering his face.
"You shouldn't have done that. I mean… we need to get going," I murmured.
"I hear you," he said, and his words were short. "We'll be leaving soon. I promise. Now…" He bobbed his head back toward the lake. "I'm happy to stand guard while you take a quick dip and get cleaned up before we leave. There's no telling when we'll have another place where we can bathe."
"Is that what you did for Tawney? Is that why she's looking so good this morning and is in such good spirits?" I asked.
My jealousy—a jealousy I wouldn't have been able to fathom the day before—took over my reason and made me feel like my eyes might be burning red.
"I did let her get cleaned up. Are you suggesting that I shouldn't have?"
There was a mirth to what he said that told me I was amusing him, that I was a toy being batted around for his pleasure.
"No. I'm just curious about how much you saw while you were"—I did air quotes—"guarding her while she was cleaning up."
I was weary, irrational, and absolutely suggesting there was a whole lot more to their relationship than flirting. Everything about the way I was feeling reminded me of the ice cream parlor and my need to stake my territory. I didn't care anything about Jayden's or Tawney's feelings. All I cared about was the ache in my chest and the burn in my throat when I thought about him holding anyone—even my sweet cousin Tawney… especially my beautiful cousin Tawney—in his arms.
After a long belly laugh targeted at me, Jayden said, "I stood guard. Nothing more. Nothing less. Last night, I explained to you that Tawney is like a sister to me. I don't have a real sister, but if I did, I believe seeing her naked would be the last thing I'd want to do."
My stare snapped toward his. Something deep inside me needed to look Jayden in the eyes so I could see if there was anything there that told me he was lying. I hated myself because Tawney was my dying cousin, one who clearly loved Jayden, but I couldn't stand by and let their relationship grow.
I just couldn't.
Even if Jayden hated me and every kindness he'd ever shown me was done as part of an assignment, I didn't care. I didn't want him to fall in love with her. I wanted him to myself, and this was the first time since I'd been scolded by Dad that I'd allowed myself to think of Jayden as anything more than my trainer, a man my father assigned to me so I'd know how to protect myself.
With whispered words that released an army of butterflies in my belly and a small fire in my chest, Jayden said, "You, on the other hand… you're nothing like a sister to me. I'd love nothing more than to stand here and watch you strip naked and dive off into that water. Actually, there's one thing I'd like more. Diving in with you. That would be better."
When I saw the glint in his eyes, I knew he was jacking with me.
My disbelieving stare turned into a hateful glare in a heartbeat. "You're an ass. Do you know that?"
"What do you mean, Carlie?" he said, and there was no mistaking the condescension in his voice.
"Go back to the camp and eat your damn eggs. Tawney's got them all peeled, ready, and waiting for you. I'll be there in a few minutes. Like you, I have needs, and I'd prefer to be by myself… I'd prefer not to worry about a perv standing by and watching."
Jayden chuckled, turned his back on me, and headed in the direction of the camp. "That's not the way I was reading you a few seconds ago, you little vixen."
It was all I could do not to turn banshee, jump his back, and choke the life out of him. Instead, I went in the exact opposite direction, toward the lake.
Thirty minutes later, I was clean, my hair was pulled back into a wet braid, and I was walking back into our camp, one that was completely packed up.
"Good Lord, I haven't been gone that long," I said to no one in particular.
The next thing I knew, Jayden was next to me, holding up for me the backpack Mom packed. He was waiting for me to put my arms through the straps. I complied.
After it was strapped on my shoulder, Jayden leaned into my ear and whispered, "I had a lot of pent-up energy that I had to use so I wouldn't go back to the lake and return the favor you granted me earlier."
His warm breath brushed my skin and sent chills up my spine.
Again, he whispered, "If we didn't have an entire day of walking ahead of us and your family wasn't watching, I'd snatch that backpack off you, throw you up against that tree, and make you admit how much you enjoyed the view."
"You wish," I scolded.
"Actually, I do," he said before reaching over and picking up Tawney's backpack and helping her put it on.
Making me sick was the way he leaned into her ear and whispered something that made her blush and laugh. I'm absolutely sure he'd said something about her earlier dip in the lake also.
What a bastard!
He was playing both of us and would continue doing just that until we were at the safe house. I just needed to ignore him.
After he strapped Gran's backpack on and said something to him that made my great-grandfather chuckle, I was even more enraged with Jayden's ability to put people at ease, to get inside their heads and know what it was that made them tick.
After he had Gran ready to go, Jayden grabbed up his backpack, one that was by far the biggest and bulkiest of all of them. Instinctively, I suspected he broke down camp himself so he'd be able to lighten everyone's load by putting as much as he possibly could carry into his own pack.
When he slung the extra pack I'd brought over his own shoulder, I chastised myself for insisting it come along with us. I darted his way.
"Jayden, that's my backpack, and it's filled with non-necessities. I'll carry it. If it gets to be too much, I'll shed it. I promise. I won't let it slow us down."
He turned toward me with a wink and a smile and, as if shouting from the heavens, said, "Oh no you're not. I'm carrying it, and I'm going to do one thing every day for the rest of this trip to prove my undying love for you, Carles."
I was stopped short. Actually, everyone—Gran and Tawney—was stopped short.
I couldn't help but wonder what kind of game he was playing with me. In the same loud tone, I snapped, "I hate the ground you walk on. I won't be manipulated, and I will carry my own backpack."
Before he could disagree, I snatched my pack from his grip. For what felt like the millionth time today, Jayden laughed at me. With my head held high in i
ndignation, I dashed forward, pretending as if I were the one charged with leading our expedition. I couldn't help but sneak a peek at Tawney. Her mouth was hanging open, but she didn't look hurt, which told me she'd chalked the entire incident up to another of Jayden's attempts at taunting and humiliating me.
It seemed as if I'd successfully undermined Jayden's fake pledge of love. In her eyes, he was still on the market, and she was looking to buy.
Without another word between us, we began day two of our weeklong trek to the safe house. After walking for less than ten minutes and out of nowhere, it began to rain.
Perfect! Absolutely perfect!
Chapter 11
In the Beginning…
Carlie
It only took about two hours before I regretted my decision not to eat before we left. Pride kept me from saying anything.
I'll drop dead from starvation before I'll let Jayden know I'm hungry.
As if the Surrogate Soldier could read my mind, he sidled up next to me, opened his hand, and held out the eggs Tawney had peeled for him.
I stared longingly at his hand and said, "Those are yours. Why haven't you eaten them?"
He shook his head. "I ate mine already. These are yours."
When I looked over my shoulder to see if Tawney was anywhere near, I saw that she and Gran were lagging pretty far behind.
"Go ahead. You'll never be able to keep up this pace if you don't eat something," he said, slipping them into my hand.
"I'll take two of them. You need to eat the last one. Your pack weighs more than all of ours combined," I admonished.
Deciding he'd rather see me eat two than none, he grabbed one back and bit into it, eating half of it in one bite. I did the same thing. As proof that I was starving, that egg was the best-tasting food I'd ever put into my mouth, and that comparison included every piece of chocolate cake I'd ever eaten.
I moaned with pleasure. "Oh my God! This is so good."