by Katie Lane
And he wasn’t finished making those memories yet.
He got to his knees and slid his hand through her messy bedhead hair and kissed her. He would never grow tired of kissing these lips. Even if he kissed them a million times before he left. He was certainly working on that million. He greedily feasted on her luscious mouth before his stomach grumbled and he drew away.
“Miss Reba needs to get bigger beds. And room service. Man can’t live on snickerdoodles alone.”
“Reba doesn’t serve lunch. She only serves breakfast and supper. And only at specific times.” She glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “When do you have to get back to the ranch?”
It was so like Penny to always be thinking of the ranch. It reinforced his belief that she’d never be happy away from her home. “I’m playing hooky all day,” he said with another kiss. “Just don’t tell the boss.” He meant it as a joke, but he should’ve known it was too soon for teasing.
A scowl wrinkled her forehead. “You don’t have to worry about that. I don’t have anything to say to my daddy.”
He got to his feet. “Yes, you do. You have plenty to say to him. But after talking with Sadie, I agree that you leaving for a few days is for the best. It will give you time to cool down and him time to wise up.”
“He’s never going to wise up. Which is why I can never go back?” She flopped against the pillows. It was hard to keep his mind on their conversation with all her gorgeous flesh on display. But the hurt in her eyes overshadowed his lust.
He lay down next to her and pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her head. “You’ll go back. You’ll go back because it’s where you belong. It’s your home.”
“It was a home when my mama and Evie were living there. Now it’s just a place I fight with my daddy.”
“That’s not true and you know it. You might not get along with your father all the time, but you love him and he loves you. You can see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. He’s just too stubborn to outwardly show it. Some people are just like that.”
She lifted her head. “Like you.”
He stared into her clear blue eyes and realized he cared for this woman. Cared for her deeply. Words to express that caring pushed at the back of his throat, wanting release. All he had to do was open his mouth and he knew they’d easily pop out. But it wasn’t saying the words that counted. It was proving them. Love wasn’t just words. It was actions. It was making a commitment to be there for someone no matter what. It wasn’t telling them you loved them one second and leaving them in a bathroom stall the next.
And he had the same genes as his mother. He’d proven his lack of commitment time and time again with jobs, apartment leases, and women. As much as he thought he wanted to commit to Penny, he was terrified that in a month or two his feelings would change and he’d want to leave.
Which was why he didn’t release the words. Instead, he kissed her and distracted her from their conversation by gliding his hands over her tempting body and caressing all the places he’d discovered made her moan. When she was senseless with need, he made slow, tender, love to her. Communicating with his body what he would never communicate with words.
Sapped of mental and physical strength, they fell asleep tangled together like the sheets. When he woke, the sun was lower and his stomach louder.
He kissed the top of her head where it rested on his chest. “Get up, woman. I’m wasting away here.”
He would’ve liked to take a shower with Penny before they got dressed. But the bathroom was down the hall and she was worried someone would see them coming or going and spread gossip. He thought it was a little too late for that.
“Reba gave me the snickerdoodles. I’m sure she knows I’ve been here all morning. What do you think she thinks we’ve been doing?”
Penny wiggled into her jeans, which was one of the most enticing things Cru had ever witnessed. “You’ve been trying to talk me into coming back to the ranch. At least, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. But it won’t fly if we get caught coming out of the bathroom together all water-slicked from a shower.”
He slipped up behind her and pulled her into his arms to nuzzle her neck. “That’s too bad. Because I really like the idea of getting all water-slicked with you. What about if I go to the bathroom first and you come later?” When she hesitated, he thought he had her talked into it. But then she shook her head.
“Nope. Miss Gertie might be close to a hundred, but she has the hearing of a hunting dog. And her room is right next to the bathroom.”
Cru didn’t really believe a woman that old had good hearing, but Penny seemed to believe it. As they were leaving, she pointed to the closed door at the end of the hallway and held a finger to her lips.
He played along and tried to be as quiet as possible as they past. They hadn’t even reached the turn off to the lobby when the door swung open and a little shriveled up woman shuffled out holding onto a bright pink walker with a flowered bike basket on the front. In the basket was the butt ugliest cat Cru had ever seen. It was a gray, skinny, hairless thing with huge bulging eyes that looked at him with disgust.
As soon as Penny saw the old woman, she came to attention like a soldier under inspection and stammered out a greeting. “H-Hello, Miss Gertie. How are you today?”
“Dying.” It wasn’t a joke. The woman looked like she was one step away from death’s door. She was nothing but bones, wrinkled skin, and age spots. Although the eyes that turned to him looked intense and alert. “Who are you?”
“This is Cru Cassidy, Miss Gertie,” Penny jumped in. “He was helping Chester and Lucas for a while and now he’s working on the Gardener Ranch. He just stopped by to try and talk me into coming back.”
Gertie glanced at Penny and scowled. “For over four hours?” She turned to Cru and rolled closer. So close that one walker wheel ran over the toe of his boot. She stared him down. Or more like up since she was so small. He couldn’t help fidgeting. If he had on a hat, he would’ve taken it off. Instead, he bowed subserviently.
“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
She snorted. “You’re been up to no good, haven’t you, boy?”
He wasn’t a good liar. Especially to an old grandma. But Penny must’ve read his hesitation and adamantly shook her head. He looked back at Gertie and tried to give her an answer without actually lying. “You know how stubborn these Gardeners are. I gave her four hours of lip service and she still won’t come back to the ranch.” He thought she’d think lip service was talking, but the old gal must’ve known better because she tipped back her head and laughed.
It was a scary cackle that seemed to come up from the bowels of hell. It cut off as quickly as it had erupted. She pointed a crooked finger at him. “I’ll expect you to do right by her. She might’ve fallen for your slick-talk, but she’s a deep down good girl.” She turned the crooked digit to Penny. “And you stop giving away the honey before the hive has been bought. Ain’t that right, Butler?” She patted the cat on the head before she wheeled her walker around, running over Cru’s other foot, and disappeared back into her room. After the door slammed, Penny released her breath.
“That woman and her cat Rhett Butler scare the crap out of me.”
“That makes two of us.” Cru took her arm. “Let’s get out of here before she comes back.”
Since the pharmacy only served breakfast and lunch until two and it was well after three, they had to drive a good thirty miles to a Sonic drive-in. Cru had never cared for Sonic hamburgers, but they did have damn good tater tots and strawberry shakes. Or at least the strawberry shake tasted good when sipped off Penny’s lips.
She drew back from the kiss. “Would you stop kissing me so we can eat? I thought you were hungry.”
“I am, but not for food as much as . . . honey.”
She laughed and shoved a tater tot into his mouth. “Eat.” She smiled seductively. “You’ll get more honey when we get back to Reba’s. Although you’ll have to slip into
my room through the garden door. We can’t chance running into Miss Gertie again.”
He leaned over the console and took another strawberry sip from her lips. “Luckily, I’m real good at slipping into places.”
On the way back to Simple, he took a shortcut on a back road. It was a bumpy ride, but if it got him into Penny’s bed faster, he was willing to deal with a few little bumps.
Or not so little.
About five miles from town, he got on a road that looked like it had been washed out in the last rainstorm. The front tires dipped down into a small gully before he saw it. The jarring jolt had him reaching out to hold Penny in her seat even though she was belted in.
Once they were over the gully, he stopped the truck and turned to her. “You okay?”
“I’m fine, but I don’t know if your truck is.” She shut the glove box, which had bounced open, then reached down for something on the floor. When she lifted the envelope, his heart felt like it stopped.
He snatched the letter from her hand. “Let me get that.” He opened the console and flipped it in, then slammed the lid shut. And when he glanced at her and saw the hurt in her eyes, he knew what she was thinking even before she spoke.
“It’s okay, Cru. I know you probably have other girlfriends.”
“No, Penny. It’s not a letter from a girl. It’s a letter to Father Stephen. Sister Bernadette found it after the priest died and thought I would want it.” He started driving again and tried to change the subject. “You want to listen to the radio?” He turned on the radio, but she turned it back off.
“Father Stephen died? You didn’t tell me that.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not a big deal.” Except it had felt like a big deal when he’d walked into the room and seen the only father he’d ever known laid out in a coffin. He’d been gutted. And Penny knew it.
“Of course it’s a big deal.” She reached over and placed her hand on his arm. “I know you loved him, Cru. I can tell by the way you talk about him. Did you get a chance to say goodbye? Is that what the letter is? Is it your last goodbye?”
“I didn’t get a last goodbye. I was in South Padre learning how to kite surf when Father Stephen got ill. By the time I found out, he was already gone.”
Penny soothingly rubbed his arm. “I’m so sorry, Cru.”
He was sorry too. His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I should’ve been there.”
“You didn’t know. If you had known, you would’ve been there for him.”
He looked over at her. “How do you know that? How do you know that I wouldn’t have just continued to party on the beach?”
“I know because you’re still here. You could’ve left a long time ago. But you stayed to take care of Chester and Lucas. You stayed to make sure they’re okay. I know you would’ve done the same for Father Stephen.” She was only partly right. His concern for Chester and Lucas was one of the reasons he was still there. The woman looking at him with soft, trusting blue eyes was the other. “What’s in the letter, Cru? And why are you so protective of it?”
He turned away and looked back at the road. “I’m not protective of it. In fact, I plan to throw it in the trash. I just haven’t had a chance.”
“I don’t believe that. If you brought it with you from Dallas, you’ve had plenty of chances to throw it away.”
He kept his eyes on the road and a tight grip on the steering wheel. “Okay, so maybe I brought it with me. But that doesn’t mean anything.” His chest tightened, but he ignored the pain and kept driving. He didn’t realize he was rubbing his chest until Penny squeezed his arm.
“It’s okay to be upset that a man you cared about is gone, Cru. It’s okay to want to cherish the last letter you wrote to him.”
It was the deep sympathy in her eyes that set him off. Or maybe it was the word “cherish” that did it. “I don’t cherish the fuckin’ letter. I don’t cherish anything from a woman who didn’t even care enough to keep her only son. She leaves me in a bus station bathroom and doesn’t try to find me for twenty-six years. Then suddenly she tracks me down and leaves her contact information with Father Stephen.” He laughed, but even he knew it sounded hollow and forced. “What does she expect? Does she expect me to call her up and say ‘Hey, Mom, long time no see?’ Well, fuck her and the little horse she rode off on. She didn’t give a shit about me and I don’t give a shit about her.”
His grip tensed even more on the steering wheel as he tried to breathe. But like that day at the Double Diamond Ranch, his lungs refused to draw in air.
“Stop,” Penny said.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he panted. “Who wants to talk about this crap?”
“No, I mean pull over and stop.”
She was right. He needed to pull over before he passed out and wrecked the truck. He didn’t care about himself, but he cared about Penny. He pulled to the side of the road and expected her to jump out so she could drive. Instead, she crawled right over the console and onto his lap. She looped her arms around his neck and pressing her face to his chest.
“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” She squeezed him tightly. It took the dampness seeping through his shirt before he realized she was crying. He wanted to tell her to stop. He wanted to tell her that a stupid letter wasn’t worth her tears. That he wasn’t worth them.
But Penny thought he was.
Just like Father Stephen and Chester and Lucas, she thought he was worth it. And damned if he could tell her different.
So he just sat there as she held him and her tears soaked through his shirt.
She’d already broken her promise. She’d let him hurt her.
Chapter Twenty
Penny sat at the little glass table in her room at the boardinghouse and watched through the open French doors as a bee pollinated a bright red flower in Reba’s garden. As she watched the bee snuggle in to the closed petals, she couldn’t help wishing Cru were there to snuggle with her. But she hadn’t seen him since her sobbing exhibition the day before. He’d acted like it hadn’t bothered him. After she cried herself out, he’d brushed the tears from her cheeks and given her soft kisses. Then he’d brought her here and dropped her off, making the excuse that he needed to go to the ranch for a shower and would come back later. She’d stayed up the entire night waiting for him to walk through the French doors she’d left unlocked.
He never did.
She couldn’t blame him. She’d promised him she could handle an adult relationship. And then she had turned into a blubbering idiot over nothing more than a letter.
Tears stung the backs of her eyes at just the thought of the letter. Cru said he cared nothing about his mother—that he didn’t want to contact her. But she knew it wasn’t true. He wanted to contact her. He was just terrified of getting hurt again. As terrified as he was of hurting her.
Unfortunately, it was too late for that. She had promised him she wouldn’t be hurt when he left. But after less than a day of being away from him, she already felt like her heart had been hollowed out. She loved him. Not with the infatuation of a teenager, but with the all-encompassing love of an adult woman who had seen the wounded heart behind the charming playboy smile. She wanted to heal that heart. She wanted to heal it and then she wanted to steal it like he had stolen hers. Unfortunately, he guarded it much too closely for that to ever happen. She knew Cru cared about her. He’d proved it by the way he made love to her. But she also knew that, like her father, he might never be able to express that love.
The bee continued to dance among the wildflowers. Instead of watching it and feeling sorry for herself, Penny should get dressed and look into finding a job. Sadie had called and said her father was moping around like he’d lost his best friend, but he hadn’t tried to contact her and apologize. And she doubted he would. It seemed she was surrounded by mule headed men who couldn’t express their true emotions. She needed to accept it and move on.
She started to get up to take a shower when she noticed two eyes peeking out at he
r from the thick leaves of the flowers. A second later, a cute little golden-brown rabbit popped its head up.
“Well, good morning,” she said.
The rabbit twitched its tufted ears and looked like it was about to answer back when Devlin stumbled into view, causing the rabbit to disappear. Devlin grabbed onto the stalk of a sunflower to keep from falling and snapped the entire flower off. She held it awkwardly in her hand and blushed.
“Good morning, Ms. Gardener. I didn’t realize you were staying at this hotel. Although it isn’t a hotel as much as a bed and breakfast. Which is what they should call it. Boardinghouse seems a little antiquated and not very appealing from a marketing standpoint.”
Cru had explained how he knew Devlin so Penny wasn’t jealous anymore, but the woman’s bluntness was still a little hard to take. “Reba’s family has run this same boardinghouse in Simple for over a century. To change the name would be to take away an important piece of our history.”
Devlin nodded as if she’d just been given a crucial piece of information. “Oh well, then that explains it. It looks like I need to do some more research—not just on the surrounding ranches, but on the town.” She lifted the cellphone in her hand and looked at Penny. “Are there any books you can recommend that would help me become more knowledgeable?”
Was this woman for real? Penny shook her head. “You are a piece of work.”
Devlin looked confused for a second before she tapped away on her phone. “’A piece of work’ is slang for a person who is unpleasant, dishonest, hard to deal with, or of low character.” She looked at Penny and her cheeks turned pink. “Oh.”
Well, dang. Now Penny felt like an unpleasant low character.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean that. I’m just upset because my daddy spoke to you about drilling on our property without talking to me first and we got in a big fight.”