What no one knew was that when Warren left his healthy fishing vacation with Carl, with Julia at home believing he was having a male-bonding experience, he had scheduled a side trip to Raleigh that turned into a three-way orgy described in panoramic detail in his journal.*
December 10, 1993
…Britt tells me Peter Asher wants his % now—long overdue, let it be said, but I’ll be down to $20K before Xmas, add lots of taxes to pay. Found myself writing a very square, Streisand-type tune around a phrase I’ve had in my head for a week or so—“Similar to Rain”—and a chord change Mike [Wolff] was telling me about at Spago. I’m really happy about this tune.
December 23, 1993
…Picked up Rolling Stone…Random Notes omitted mentioning me from Bridge Concert. Ironically, I ran into Merle at Rexall—promised to call her.
MERLE GINSBERG: Years had gone by and I was writing again. Got a great job with W and decided to move to New York. Christmas Eve of ’93, I ran into Warren. He came walking right up to me, and I wanted to run away. I said, “I knew this was going to happen eventually.” He said, “I’ve been thinking about you, and I really want to talk to you.”
I knew he wanted to make amends, and I thought it would be interesting to have a conversation with him. He asked if he could call me, and I told him I was moving to New York in two weeks. Christmas came and went. January starts and one day he left me a message. I was really nervous to talk to him. It said, “It’s Warren. I want to talk to you.” The next day was the giant Northridge earthquake. My phone went out, my apartment was trashed, and I was moving to New York. I never had a chance to call him back, and seeing him that Christmas Eve was the last time we ever spoke.
January 7, 1994
…Went to Seattle to see Tina—Julia didn’t ask questions about my voyage of self-discovery…Tina wants to act. The irony was not lost on me.
JULIA MUELLER: We broke up because I was working on this role. Hal Hartley had written another movie for me to star in. I was very excited. Warren was excited, but he felt threatened by it. I had been working on this part, which was about a woman who never lied. It was definitely a part of me, because sometimes to an annoying degree, I will not lie.
Warren was going to do Letterman. I’d watched him on the show, and he’d been wearing this hair tie that I’d made for him, which was really cool. But, I thought he seemed nervous. So, he called the next day and I said he was wonderful, and right away he said, “What?” I was like, “No, you looked great. What you said to Letterman was great.” He said, “What, Julia? I know you don’t think it was good.” Finally, I said, “Okay, you seemed a little nervous…” His reaction was, “Oh my God, how could you say that to me?”
We’d been apart for several weeks, and we were dying to see each other, and he says, “I don’t think I can see you.” I’m like, whoa, whoa, what just happened here? He literally cut me off for saying that to him.
January 13, 1994
…Julia moved out today. Got an offer to do a guest spot on John LaRoquette Show…don’t think I can do it because I’m on the road…
January 14, 1994
…Lunch at Hugo’s with Stuart. Incredibly, in walks Annette. Coincidence? Took album budget to Glo and Peter. Called Annette.
January 17, 1994
…Big earthquake…Didn’t feel any fear, then or later: none. Strange stepping through the flash lit rubble…The tallest bookcase flew apart, broke a window. Books everywhere. Made my way outside; car alarms wailing, lots of people in the dark streets. No power but phone; called Julia, Annette, Jordan, Mom. After shocks, lots and lots.
YVONNE CALDERON: When the ’94 earthquake hit, Jorge and I were totally traumatized. It was horrendous and our apartment was a shambles. This was a five-room apartment, and we did not have one space we could stay in. We had nowhere to go. Out of all of our friends, Warren was the guy who said, “You can have my house, I’m going on the road. Here are the keys. Stay there as long as you want.” He was extremely, extremely generous…when he wanted to be…when he wanted to be.
January 19, 1994
…Saw the new Lipcutter—Duncan very thoughtfully chose one with a nice bathroom and a back bedroom. (new RV name is The Bounder). Woman from Fresno called “concerned” about Mom who told me not to take it seriously. Went to Annette’s: She has a houseful of displaced earthquake people & pets. Odd assortment of lesbians, New Agers and people who look like they belong at a Bulgarian bridal shower.
RICHARD LEWIS: The biggest connection Warren and I made was after we met shopping while he was looking for the perfect bean sprout and me the sweetest pint of ice cream, and we exchanged numbers. I had been off the road for about two or three years after I sobered up, and he had been off the road for a while. We were both preparing to go back out, but he was going out first.
Him being a musician and a rock and roller and me being a comedian and an actor, it’s fair to say that I was always as fearless as I could possibly be, from the day I started until I stopped, and I certainly saw in him that he easily could have closed his eyes and written songs that would have sold millions and millions more records had he wanted to, but he was so authentic and so unique that as famous as he became, he still had to go and find his fans. As did I. We had our fans, but because I wasn’t on a dopey sitcom or he didn’t have a huge, hokey number one song, he would sometimes have to play venues that he hated. I don’t think he hated performing, but it was the venues.
February 17, 1994—Virginia Beach
…“I’m Warren Zevon and I’m guilty without explanation.”
February 18, 1994—Charlotte
…Lipcutter trouble. Gas station attendant tinkered for hours…said to a passing motorist, “Hell is only half full!” Good line.
DUNCAN ALDRICH: The title for “Monkey Wash, Donkey Rinse” was my creation—it was my impression of an R.E.M. all-access pass. Warren couldn’t get it out of his mind. One of the lines came from a South Carolina mechanic. He said, “They say hell is only half full.” Most of it was Warren’s. I made suggestions; some worked, some didn’t fly.
JULIA MUELLER: “Monkey Wash, Donkey Rinse”…Warren, because of his OCD, has to wash clothes a lot. It was nerve wracking. We’d go to the market, buy popsicles and two rolls of quarters. You had to figure out the time when everybody wouldn’t be using the machine. So, we’d go down, put the laundry in, and Warren would want to go out to Book Soup or to get something to eat. I’d be going, let’s wait for the cycle to be over. Because if we go out and take all the time he needs to buy socks or whatever and come back and the laundry has finished and someone took the laundry out, we had to start the whole thing over again…Certain colors couldn’t touch each other, and you had to use a certain number machine. If that machine wasn’t available, you couldn’t do it then, but you couldn’t leave it down there because people might touch it. Of course, it would get into the dryer too late at night and we’d hope the building manager would let us get in after eleven to get it…
February 22, 1994—Cincinnati
…Carl’s staying at The Westin…Spotted “Lasso Gal” the horsewoman from tours past…Show okay…some yelling from the crowd…I called them “bedwetters.” Took Lasso Gal and her friend to Carl’s room. He entertained them with wild stories…the gals and I left Carl to sleep…back to my room for a wild ride…They left at 5:00 a.m.
March 6, 1994—Aspen
Hunter used quote from “Mr. Bad Example” in his book…
March 17, 1994
First ADAT vocal “Seminole Bingo” seems to work fine. Call from Carl—he’s back from Cuba. Pam came over—me shirtless in black shorts, she in a low cut top (what a turn on, I feel free to say), up to the hot loft. We listened to my stuff & kissed–is she repressed &/or naïve as she seems? I don’t want to be the wicked seducer (well, I do & I don’t).
March 19, 1994
…Annette left a happy 8 years of sobriety message. Met Kim for lunch…
March 22, 1994
…Bought a book on Catholicism. Work on “Similar to Rain.”
April 12, 1994…Lunch with Jon Kellerman at The Ivy…He had the last word on the Cobain suicide: “Using a shotgun is not a cry for help.”…Kim called—long uncomfortable talk about her singing career, will I play with her, will Glo go see her—it’s sixteen years ago. Headache arriving. Made a birthday card for Julia, precious tarpon stamp, little chicken drawing on the envelope, and all. I suppose it’s not kindness to keep it a secret that I miss her, as I should have learned from the last breakup.
CARL HIAASEN: After he and Julia had broken up, he’d say, “I’m finally over her,” and then she would call him, and it would put him into a tailspin…She didn’t want to come back. She didn’t want to move in with him. I know she had her reasons, but he’d say, “She left a message on my machine. She’s coming into town.” I said, “Well, you’re going to be a mess. I know you care about her but…” He goes, “Why is she calling?”
And so I gave him this line that he hooted and embraced for some reason. I said, “Warren, she likes to keep track of the men who were in her life. Sort of like tending flowers, checking the flowerpots every now and then. I’m not sure I would mistake this for anything more than that.” He said, “That’s perfect. Tending flowers. That’s exactly what she’s doing.”
* Warren was asked to contribute music to TekWar, a television series based on a sci-fi novel by William Shatner.
* Irving Azoff signed Warren to his new label, Giant.
* Author’s prerogative: I’m leaving this journal entry to the readers’ imagination.
SIX
THE INDIFFERENCE OF HEAVEN
Same old sun
Same old moon
It’s the same old story
Same old tune
They all say
Someday soon
My sins will all be forgiven
June 5, 1994—Florida
…After thrilling, exhilarating, even humbling day fishing yesterday, I drove to Key West today. I loathed it—could hardly wait for the 1-hr. photos to be ready. Duval Street’s a jaded hooker-hustle to a bogus Buffett soundtrack…Stopped by Carl’s…Struck by self-portrait with pirate-style black bandana and mirror Ray Bans…Thinking of calling the album “Mutineer.”
CARL HIAASEN: When he came to the Keys, he was in his Hemingway mode—wanted to be out in the boat and catch big fish. At the same time, he was drawn like a magnet to anything hokey that smelled of a tourist trap. Warren loved that stuff. In Taverniere there’s a shopping plaza fashioned like a chintzy version of a coral castle. The centerpiece of the parking lot is this giant lobster. It’s an authentically reproduced Florida lobster that’s the size of a small airplane. People go veering off the highway to have their photograph taken with this gigantic lobster, and Warren insisted on doing that. He knew this kind of stuff drove me nuts because of my longstanding antipathy toward the tourists. But, Warren goes, “No, I’ve got to get a picture of me with the lobster.”
Warren liked to take pictures of himself. He’d hold the camera out and take pictures. We were on the boat fishing, and one of those shots became the cover of Mutineer. He was in the middle of recording the album, but he hadn’t written “Mutineer” yet. When you leave the Keys, as you come off this long causeway, there’s a tourist joint called the Mutineer. He said, “What do you think about Mutineer? That’d be a good name for an album, wouldn’t it?” He was very excited. That was often how he did it. He’d see a sign or hear a phrase…The next thing I know, he’s written the song.
July 1, 1994—West Palm Beach
…show rough, appreciative crowd…Incredibly, overheard in a porny movie called “Cheerlead Nurses” “…He was singing that song from Warren ‘Zay-von’…‘Bed of Coals’” I’ve made it into the pornies!
July 9, 1994
…Drove to Fresno…at Denny’s…Two farmers recognized me—farmers! 40-ish, intelligent, said they appreciated “Play It All Night Long” line “Ain’t much to country living, sweat, piss, jizz and blood.” San Joaquin sensibility. Mom very frail, house very dirty—I made them veggie drinks.
CRYSTAL ZEVON: I was working on Woodstock ’94, and one night my phone rang at three A.M. Warren needed someone to listen to his unfolding theories on death. His mental meanderings were often over my head, but I couldn’t not listen no matter how tired I was. He was reading Time’s Arrow by Martin Amis and also obsessed by Nabokov saying something about how even imagining reversing the order of time was impossible. When Warren found some new brain tickler, there was something about the way he got excited, like a kid watching a kite take flight…
July 26, 1994—Little Rock
…Called Annette from The Bounder. She may come to New Hampshire—she’ll pay her own way, she tells me firmly! I mention the New Orleans groupie and she says, “Choke her.”…back to my threesome…
Annette and Dr. Babyhead juicing it up on the road.
July 27, 1994
…Awakened 7ish—The Bounder’s been broken into. By the time I get there, Duncan’s already milling through the broken glass—his camera lens, my Polaroid & 12 string Steinberger, a TV & VCR are gone—miraculously, all the stage stuff remains. Back upstairs Porn Star starts sucking me, we’re all fucking…We get out the camera and continue making our movie…
August 12, 1994—Warwick, R.I.
…Heard a snatch of a botanical dialogue on the radio and caught: “poisonous look alike.” Now, off to work!
August 29, 1994—Chattanooga
…we were invited out to the police range to do some shooting by Det. Mark Haskins, head of S.W.A.T., a lanky T-Bone-like fellow named Spain (the S.W.A.T. negotiator—he spoke in military poetry—like a Mailer character), and several other lawmen. They wanted me to shoot the Thompson-gun. “Roland strikes a chord with every man of arms,” Spain said. He gave me a technical/historical rundown on every weapon they brought out; the magnificent Thompson, AK 10 (a cannon on all counts), a beautiful hi-tech Hechler & Koch 9 mm machine gun, recoilless and virtually silent, and on & on…My shooting was good. Duncan’s was very, very good! T-shirts for us, too! They told us when we’re in Chattanooga—“Just call 9-1-1.”
DUNCAN ALDRICH: Warren would complain about being lonely. Unless he meant it, nothing would happen. But, if he meant it, something would occur immediately. It was like turning on the switch, and out of the blue I’m arranging airline tickets for someone he just met to travel to several cities with us. Merle was there for a while. Then Annette, who was a self-proclaimed witch. Julia seemed serious for a while. Then, that was over. When they were over is when he’d complain that he was lonely and, like magic, these women would appear.
CARL HIAASEN: He was not above taking the easy way out to avoid a confrontation. Or, to avoid some unpleasant responsibility—or, even pleasant if it wasn’t fitting in with the plan. Afterward he would feel terrible. There were times when he treated people who adored him pretty severely. He could be so charming and wonderful, but then he could vanish, too. He could break people’s hearts. He felt horrible about it, but he did it anyway. He’d say, “Yeah, well, I did it.” His favorite excuse for breaking up with women was always the same thing. “Well, she’s gonna want to have babies someday and that’ll be the end of the relationship.”
September 19, 1994
…The Mormon Bishop from Fresno left a detailed account of the garbage problem with the girl hired to look in on Mom & Nam. My head almost exploded. I left him a scathing message. Obviously, I’ll have to go there.
September 27, 1994
…nice talk with Tom McGuane. I remarked that only Peckinpah & I had ever gotten out of Fresno & he said Peckinpah (who bought Tom’s old ranch) hadn’t really gotten out—he’d had the “fear” on him in the end—a finish no one would wish for, Tom & I heartily agreed.
September 28, 1994
…Peter Asher loaned me a book by a young Scotsman, Iain Banks, in which Hunter & I appear as patron saints of Gonzo veracity…Erran
ds with Annette. Went tanning, call to Crystal from a pay phone…I complained about Ariel not writing…Crystal was very nice. Picked up Cathy, snacks from Chalet Gourmet, home for more incredible sex.
December 10, 1994—Jimmy’s annual Christmas Party
…I was alone, of course: I thought it would be instructive to see how much like the world of willing women it seemed like last year, if it really was. Well, it wasn’t. Saw J. D. right off. Jimmy led me to the kitchen—Jackson was there. I said hello then chatted with Glenn & Andrea. Sklar, Glaub, later Jorge & Yvonne. Crystal’s friend, Lolly. Debbie Gold & Janice Hampton. Anyway, there’d been no point in attending alone. I had a late call from Pam—she was loaded. She wanted to come over & make love—I told her we couldn’t because she was stoned. At least I did something decent.
CARL HIAASEN: I used to keep pet snakes. Warren wanted to hear all the snake stories because they had to eat live mice and rats. I would get mailing lists for frozen rodents and things that you have to feed these critters and, as a kick, fax him this stuff. He would tape it to his refrigerator. It was so remote from his world…but he loved all that stuff, so that’s where the scorpion idea came from. One time I stumbled on a giant centipede and I took a picture of it next to a ruler so he could see how big it actually was, and he refused…he was so freaked out he wouldn’t even look at the picture. He had a phobia about centipedes.
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