June 26, 1996
…My finger’s very swollen…Dire spider-bite speculation.
September 18, 1996
…Sheila Rogers called—they got the anthology and Dave wants me on the show. I called Carl to complain (“Why do I have to have big star stress? I’m doing my own laundry.”)
September 22, 1996
…Thanks to last night’s facial procedure, my poor brow’s really raw; eyes hurt…ran into Dwight Yoakam in the market. He just did a film with my talented ex-neighbor Billy Bob Thornton & invited me to a screening.
September 23, 1996
…Phone calls: Senator Steve, Karla Bonoff (lunch Wednesday). She wants to show me her house when I play there; she said we’d sit on the porch, go skinny-dipping (Your Honor!) & she’d wrap us in a very hot towel. Left a message for Hunter.
CARL HIAASEN: Warren met, or remet, Karla Bonoff in the supermarket. He was always meeting people in markets. But they started dating. They went from being impossibly wonderful to being harridans in two weeks of dating—if you believed him. Luckily, he spared me most of the details. Not so much that he thought I would disapprove, but there was an element of embarrassment to some of it. A lot of it was the rock and roll thing. He felt like it was some kind of duty to chase women.
September 24, 1996
…Dermatologist said its dermatitis…Dwight’s office called, so I went to a screening of “Swing Blade,” starring Billy Bob & Dwight…wonderful, very Faulknerian (no critics will say), and Dwight was great. Hunter’s coming to L.A. Sunday. I told him about my dermatological woes—“I’m turning into a marionette!” He said, “Like Michael Jackson?” But, exactly.
September 25, 1996
…Three hour lunch with Karla. I look like a microwaved puppet. Talked to Dwight about the movie. He said they’d already discussed a part for me in their next project—“Benny.” When I said that Warren Oates was in my favorite movie, a riotous exchange of lines from “Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia” ensued; one of his favorites also. Dwight’s great. We’re going ahead with t-shirts and Rhino’s selling us anthologies for the tour.
September 26, 1996
…Tried to write the t-shirt legend until I realized it was “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead.”
STEVE COHEN: Sometimes I questioned him, but a lot of times I’d just agree with stuff because he was going to do what he wanted to do anyway. I tried to get him to go out and do more stuff, but he said, “In show business, you’ve got to act like you’re not looking for something. You’ve got to act like you’re busy, doing stuff. You can’t go out and make it appear like you’re trying to get some kind of deal. In politics, it’s different.”
Warren campaigns for Steve Cohen.
October 5, 1996—San Francisco
…from Billboard “Teri Clark Cover Sparks New Set—Her version of “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me” has been rushed out due to overwhelming audience response.” I was elated…Show was good, way over-sold; into percentage CD & T-shirt fair. Steve contributed a T-shirt speech.
October 18, 1996—Cedar Rapids
…Karla arrived…made love. It was wonderful. I slept very nicely with her.
October 14, 1996—Chicago
…Rash spreading. The Floor Shitters at the dry cleaners shrunk my gray and white windbreaker.
As the tour progressed, Warren’s skin was peeling off in layers; he was swollen, miserable, and sleep-deprived. Karla joined him on the road, and between visits he entertained his usual cavalcade of women. He had discovered the Internet, and aside from using it as a communication device (it handily decreased the likelihood that Karla would call his hotel room at some inopportune moment), it provided instant access to the reflections of his fans.
PHIL CODY: I got to spend a lot of time with him because I was the only one with a computer. The Internet was just getting off the ground, and nearly nightly he’d come down to our hotel room and log on to see what the fans were talking about. Then, he’d read them out loud. He was always nice about finding one where they’d mention me.
November 6, 1996—Cohoes
…Building-up mad at Karla. I asked Duncan why we were in downtown Albany instead of where we stayed last time by the mall. He switched to a tawdry Comfort Inn. Why? I was angry. He was angry.
November 7, 1996—Northampton
…Ariel came with two friends. Ariel was wonderful: concerned about my hands. She brought raspberry jam she made with her juicer…Ariel is so intelligent! Literate…I couldn’t stop hugging her and I felt indescribably better seeing her.
PHIL CODY: The fans loved his curmudgeonly thing. Onstage, he’d say stuff like, “One of the things we all fear most in this business is becoming an oldies act. If that Alanis Morissette is around in ten years, it’ll be, ‘Hey, play that song where you give the guy the blow job.’” Or, “You ever notice the older I get, the more I look like Clint Eastwood?” Or, “Maybe we’ll stick this song into a Sandra Bullock movie.”
November 8, 1996—Lancaster
…I stormed out of sound check…Duncan & I had a big blowout. He’s telling me he doesn’t want friendship, involvement—just to be told what to do, do his job, go home—and he tells me off. Strangely calm, I told him his character assassination of me right before a show and his “cool professionalism” were kind of at odds. I was very hurt—fuck him. Hideous monitors—I thrust my guitar at the idiot—“You play!”
PHIL CODY: Even before I went out with him, people would say, “He’s an asshole.” We’d show up in clubs and repeatedly the sound guy would say, “What kind of mood is he in?” He had a reputation for being hard to work with. I guess I saw a little bit of it with other people, the temper tantrums, but not with me.
November 22, 1996—Memphis
…Senator Steve took me to his doctor—ponderously thorough old-fashioned G.P.—he asks my religion (“Catholic”)…Psoriasis, he says, caused by stress—unless it’s “an intestinal cancer”—well, that lessens the stress, doesn’t it?
PHIL CODY: It wasn’t every night he had a woman, but often enough. He had some regulars—a girl down South, and one in New England. There was some blond who would come to four or five shows. Then they’d disappear.
November 26, 1996—New Orleans
…complained to Hunter about my skin and hair loss. He proposed dragging me behind a boat in the Ohio River at dawn. I told him the psoriasis was affecting the “disrobing in front of strangers aspect of my career.” Hunter said, “Maybe it’s time to stop disrobing in front of strangers. You don’t want to be a filthy, old man disrobing in front of strangers…” Advice on maturity from HST! And he is right!
December 1, 1996—L.A.
…I’d forgotten how close the sky is to the ground here. Long talk with Hunter, then Porny Neighbor over for sex.
DUNCAN ALDRICH: Driving around, no matter what he’d look at or what would be happening, he’d just spew discomfort and hate, and it was driving me crazy to the point where at the end of the tour I said, “This is not a criticism at all, but maybe this will help you.” And I gave him The Book of the Tao, and I said, “Good-bye.” He ended up thinking I hated him or something, but I just didn’t want to give an opinion on all the shit that was going down, and it was too hard to be around. I didn’t really say anything. After that, he called by mistake once. I had a couple e-mails with him in the last year or so. But, that was the end. I was with him for twelve years, and I know for a fact that was the longest relationship he ever had.
Warren went to great lengths never to acknowledge the depth of his feelings, but Duncan’s absence in his life weighed heavily.
ARIEL ZEVON: The most fun I had on tour with Dad was when he was with Duncan. They argued, but they were like a little old couple.
December 5, 1996…
Did laundry…Picked up Jordan & went to the Museum of Flight for a Dead-products, Wavy Gravy benefit. I played “Werewolves of London” and “Mohammed’s Radio” for all the suits & starlets, and it was nice to see m
y clown friend, as always. Then, we split for the Bel Age to record a track with Chris Whitley & that chap Dave from Soul Asylum. Disorganized, but pleasant enough—& Jordan seemed like the best musician of the four of us!
December 12, 1996—Louisville, KY
…Sound check interrupted by a fire extinguisher blast from Hunter while I played the piano…Opened with “Lawyers…” then said, “…we’re here to spend an evening in the dangerous company of America’s greatest writer, Louisville’s own…” Johnny Depp was nice & said he was a fan. He’d come to sound check to hear me. I told him I liked his work, too…Hunter seemed happy with his bash; long but fine…I told Johnny, “I won’t play my hometown. I won’t let ’em book it.”
December 25, 1996
…nice. The kids came over. Crystal stayed for awhile.
January 1, 1997
…over to Dwight’s before noon. Billy Gibbons, Billy Bob, Otto & J.T. Walsh arrived. Dwight had ordered a bus and the driver was Louis from The Odds tour. Good seats. On the line between heavy mist & light drizzle…I managed to consume three hot dogs—not get a headache—and survive…great time. Ohio State won in the last minute and a half—very dramatic. Later, Porny Neighbor over for a fuck. At bedtime, “Wild Geese” came on. A wonderful day.
January 16, 1997
…Picked Ariel up & took her to Jack’s gallery; he greeted us & let us see the great Graham in his office. Then we went to see “Scream.” Since she’s seen virtually every classy movie out, I’m her junk culture emissary.
Warren became obsessed with his Internet fans and created pseudonyms in order to join their conversations. He cajoled friends to plant Zevon sightings, flattering bits of information, and press mentions. The fans likewise alerted him to his own press.
January 15, 1997
…Learned through Net Hammerheads that Ms. Goldsmith has another longish—this time unaccountably flattering—passage in her new book about me. Steve faxed a Nashville celebrity column—Teri Clark says, “He looks just like Merle Haggard.” I’d made a surrealistic joke to that effect when I met her, & lo, she’s an ironist, after all.
January 20, 1997
…Julia called…no boyfriend…“…it’s a hot button topic.”
January 24, 1997
…Ended up having a great birthday. The burden of making it bearable fell squarely—and solely—on Jordan’s shoulders & he made the day a joy and a triumph.
January 28, 1997
…Jon Kellerman’s house. He showed me his guitar collection, then we went to the Four Seasons…he told me about his therapist/mentor Erikson; we talked about our kids; relationships; writing. Jon said he had a multi-TV-movie deal for awhile—told the network to get me to score it—very nice. We went back to his house in Beverly Hills and looked at his paintings.
February 4, 1997
…Big meeting with Ira and Glo at Hugo’s. Ira wants to discuss 1) my desires for the future, 2) the money I owe them. He’s sorry they haven’t been supportive, but he was “harboring a resentment” about the money they were owed (!) As the WWI commander said, “The situation is hopeless, but not desperate.” I told them that insofar as I didn’t have a career anymore, I’d take my time deciding.
As people were running out of his life, one person entered it and would remain a faithful friend until she held his hand at the moment of his death. Ryan Rayston was available for the kinds of things that he’d grown accustomed to parceling out to several people at once. Ryan offered the motherly affection, attention, and compassion he sought in a girlfriend; but she wasn’t his girlfriend, so there were no demands for commitment, or for children.
She understood his gluttonous sexual appetite; but she arranged dates for him rather than offering herself up for his pleasure. They both suffered from migraine headaches and OCD; they could compare pain and remedies. And Ryan was never impatient with his midnight “It’s not bad luck, is it?” calls. They liked the same movies, and they traded books. She was intelligent and attractive and looked good on his arm when he lacked a date. She was a cancer survivor, and she was steadfastly at his bedside when he became its victim.
March 14, 1997
…got a smile back from eye contact with a very pretty gal in Chalet Gourmet…at the check-out, she said, “We keep staring at each other,” and I said, “Well, I can’t be blamed.” She said neither could she. We admitted we were reclusive Chalet regulars and exchanged numbers. I called her a little later and we agreed to go see the Howard Stern movie…She told me she was a screenwriter, and had lived with a celebrity for years. Anyone I know? She said, sensibly, “Obviously, not well enough to know his girlfriend.” After a little chatting, I discovered that her ex-boyfriend was none other than Richard Lewis. The movie was fun & we came back & talked until 3:00. She went to Dartmouth. I like her. She’s nice, very beautiful.
RYAN RAYSTON: We went out a couple times. After our movie date, I had a migraine, and I completely blew him off. Didn’t call him. Nothing. Warren called to tell me how rude my behavior was. I said, “Obviously you’ve never had a migraine.” That kind of cemented our friendship because Warren suffered from migraines…whether they were true headaches or just the ones that got him out of going to things he didn’t want to do. But we decided then and there to just be friends.
March 20, 1997
…Headache, trying to nap to “Gandhi.” Message: “This is Harry Dean Stanton. You were supposed to call me.” I called back, “I was supposed to call you on Wednesday, in 1970.” Harry, “It was raining.” We were both going to two functions: Laila’s dinner party for Hunter & Dwight’s gig at Sean Penn’s new night club. I got to the party after 8 and sat chatting with Harry until Hunter arrived, very cheery and robust. After a short while, I raced down Nichols Canyon across town to Santa Monica, found Dwight’s bus, hung out until show time. Sat with Otto and two pretty chicks. Great set, lovely “Carmelita.” Dancing celebs. Back on the bus. I met Dennis Hopper—terribly nice. I said, “I love you, Dennis.” He said, “Me, too, man. You know that.” Dwight’s a great host, always demanding acknowledgment of me…back to the party. Johnny Depp arrived. Bob Rafelson & I had a chat. The gig broke up early, L.A. style.
April 1, 1997
…Working Ariel’s graduation plans out with Crystal & Jordan. Jordan feels he committed to coming for an extra day with Ariel. We told him she’d be busy, but he wants to “give her the option.” I’m very proud of him.
April 2, 1997
…Went over to Ryan’s. Later in the evening I got stuck in the elevator—Fire Dept. had to come. Not as much fun as it sounds.
RYAN RAYSTON: We went to see this movie called Crash at Sunset 5. We got into the elevator, and Warren says, “I have a bad feeling about this elevator.” I said, “No, no. Don’t worry. Nothing bad’s going to happen.” So, after the movie, we were the only two people in the elevator and it gets stuck. Neither of us has a cell phone. We are both claustrophobic and we both start freaking out. And I mean freaking out. I’m…“Warren, Warren, do something…” “Ryan, what do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? Can’t you see that I don’t know what to do?”
He picks up the phone and he says, “This goddamned phone isn’t working. How do they expect us to get any air in here?” We’re starting to really panic. We’re hyperventilating. I said, “Warren, I don’t have a Xanax on me.” I started screaming. Warren was sweating and cursing, and hating the movie theater. Then, all of a sudden, he got really, really quiet. It freaked me out, but I got quiet, too. I looked at him and all of a sudden the elevator clunked and it started to move. I said, “I’m not even going to ask you…but, did you make that happen?” He wouldn’t answer me. It was weird.
Warren and Ryan Rayston. Warren took the photo at the movie.
April 3, 1997…
Postcard from Ariel saying, in essence, “Papa, You’re sending me too much money”! Isn’t that amazing?
April 28, 1997…
Even my ex-wife leaves “Sorry I’ve been t
oo busy to return your call” messages. Ready to be a muscular martyr a la Mickey Rourke…I worked out hard…then put a new vocal on “…House Burned Down.”
May 5, 1997…
This morning I dreamed I was playing a beautiful guitar solo. Then that I was trying gray stuff on at Maxfield’s. Great dream.
May 6, 1997…
The tour’s off because Rick Danko’s in jail in Japan for heroin.
May 17, 1997—Ariel’s College Graduation
…at breakfast Crystal and her mother found me. Ariel came in later with her boyfriend, Ben. He seems like a nice guy, and he’s cute…Had dinner with Ariel, Crystal, the Brelsfords, Ben and his family. Nice. Reception at Marlboro student advisor’s.
May 18, 1997
…Beautiful, sunny day. 25 film speed sky…a sweet ceremony and judging by Senior profiles, Marlboro produces enough Heidegger scholars to belie my cracks about “folk dancing school.” It was a thrill to see Ariel in cap & gown; I was very proud.
May 24, 1997—Waddy’s birthday
…Call from Merrill! Date on Tuesday. Put on my suit (I looked like the same square who met Waddy 27 years ago!) Fine time reminiscing with him & Rick Marotta. Everyone said I looked great—like a movie star—especially Debbie Gold. Adam Sandler was very nice.
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