by Sandy Nathan
“Never, Mel. I will not come back if that thing is there.”
“Is it because she’s your daughter?” Mel asked softly.
“What!” Jeremy yelped. He jumped to his feet and stood in front of Mel. “You sat there listening to me spill my guts about sex and everything, thinking that I was talking about my own daughter?” Mel didn’t say anything, which caused Jeremy to become more agitated. “What kind of sick asshole are you?”
Jeremy fought to stay in control. He didn’t have screaming fits any more. He wouldn’t have one. “That thing is not my child. Jesus Christ, Mel. Ellie couldn’t have any more kids. Remember that? We didn’t do anything to make one, either. We lost a baby right before the battle. We were still grieving.” He paced, staring at Mel.
“Is that what you guys think? I’m in love with my own kid and won’t come back because of it?” Jeremy stepped closer to Mel, towering over him. “I don’t know what that thing is. I don’t know a lot about Ellie’s species, Mel. I didn’t know she would turn into a wasp. That was a big surprise.
“There were probably lots of things I didn’t know about her. Maybe she cloned herself, or morphed into something adapted to Earth. Maybe she could do even more than that. You could ask Ellie, except she’s dead.” Jeremy clenched his fists. “Whatever it is, that thing isn’t my baby.
“Get out of here, Mel.”
“I’m sorry, Jer. There’s been some speculation around the camp that maybe that’s the reason you won’t come back.”
“I spent the last half hour telling you the reason, Mel. I’m afraid to get involved with her. And now you better be afraid.” He darted into the shack and came back with a shotgun. “If you don’t get out of here right now, I’ll shoot you.”
Mel raised his hands and backed away from the cabin. “I didn’t mean to cause offense, Jer.”
“You did cause offense, Mel. SHE IS NOT MY DAUGHTER. Don’t come back here. I don’t want to see any of you.” Jeremy emptied both barrels of his shotgun into the air.
Mel took off at a run.
69
“Oh, pardon me,” she was standing in the middle of a canyon near the mill. She stood up on her little hooves with her long pretty legs, wearing a short dress with a tight bodice and frilly skirt. A dancer’s dress. It looked like it had been sewn from a floral sheet. Her eyes were bigger and shinier than Ellie’s. Her face wasn’t exactly like Ellie’s, either. She was a bit taller. One hand held a bunch of tattered weeds. The other hand went to her mouth when she saw him.
Jeremy glared at her. “What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here.” He looked around, ready to bolt.
She looked at him solemnly. “I apologize. I have become disoriented. I was gathering medicinal herbs at the top of the cliff. I scrambled down this ravine, thinking it would circle back to the area beneath the elevator where everyone disembarks,” she said in English more precise and perfectly formed than that of any English teacher he’d ever had. Her voice was chirpy and sweet.
“I apologize for intruding on your privacy. Is this the way back?”
“Yes. Follow the path,” he growled, pointing behind him.
She moved toward him, heading along the trail.
“My name is Ellie Honey,” she held out her hand when she passed. He ignored it. She gazed at the hand dangling by his side. “I was taught that proper etiquette requires people greeting each other to clasp right hands and to say ‘How do you do?’ Is this not a custom among your people?”
“Yeah, it is. Unless you don’t want to meet the person.”
“Oh,” she said, blinking hard. “You do not wish to meet me. Well, my name is still Ellie Honey.” Her lips compressed. “When I first came, everyone called me Ellie. I don’t know why; I don’t know any Ellie. But Honey is a sweet viscous liquid produced by …”
“I know what honey is.”
“I must be in the vicinity of the sawmill.” She looked around. “That means you must be Jeremy Edgarton. They said that Jeremy Edgarton lived at the mill. I have been warned that you do not wish to be disturbed. I will not come this way again. I am sorry.”
“I’m Jeremy. What else do they say about me?”
“They said that I should stay away from you.” Big wide eyes. Guileless. Like a child. “Something in the way they spoke of you intimated that you were a danger to me.” The silver eyes got bigger. “But you don’t look dangerous, Mr. Edgarton.”
“I’m not.”
“Oh.” She seemed to realize something. “You live out here because you don’t want to see me. You left the community when I came.”
“That’s it.” He stared at her, hoping the hostility in his gaze would hurry her along.
“Well, I won’t return.” She studied him, tilting her head from one side to another. “I must say that your face is intriguing. Your skin is not as dark as that of Henry and Lena, yet you are darker than Sam and Lady Grace and the others.”
“Uh-huh.”
“That’s because your ancestor, Chaz Edgarton, was of African origin. They told me that. Lady Grace has photographs of your ancestor. He was her first husband. Oh. That makes him your father.”
His dander started to rise. He didn’t like anyone talking about his father.
“That’s a very close ancestor. I don’t know my ancestors. I suppose that I look like them.”
“Do you remember anything of your mother or father?”
“No. I remember falling out of a tree.”
A snort of laughter escaped Jeremy. He covered it with a frown.
“I was very young and didn’t know what had happened to me. It wasn’t until I reached the community at the cliff and began to learn words that I was able to verbalize the experience.
“I fell out of a tree. That’s how I was born.” She was utterly serious. “I must have had a mother and father, though, because I have studied sexual reproduction and parents are required for the reproduction of advanced life forms. I am a higher life form, though I am not human.”
Jeremy could hardly believe her. She was hysterically funny, and very serious. “Can you remember anything before that? Your mother?”
“No. Just the tree. It was a long way down. I lay on the ground for some time, stunned. You’re really lucky to know your ancestors, Mr. Edgarton. Not knowing is very confusing.”
She skipped topics without waiting for his response. “You’re very interesting in that you have hair on your face. None of the other men do. Every morning, I see them put lather on their faces and scrape them with razors. Your face shows what would happen if they didn’t. Is it comfortable? It looks as though it would itch.”
“It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“I’ll go now. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” She turned and headed down the trail.
His eyes followed her. She wasn’t Eliana. Ellie Honey. What a stupid name. She walked lightly, the way Ellie had. Beautiful legs swinging. She was so sweet. Didn’t have any meanness in her. Stop it, Edgarton. Remember what she is. An insect.
“Hey!” he yelled after her. “You need warmer clothes. You’ll get sick.” Her legs were dappled with goose bumps. His mother must have something she could wear. They shouldn’t let her run around like that.
70
“Why did you come back?” Jeremy growled as she approached the shack. Weeks had passed. She wore one of his mother’s sweaters, some leggings, and soft boots that let her walk on her hooves. He could still see the lovely curves of her legs.
“You don’t have your beard!” She beamed at him.
“No, I shaved it off. Why are you here?”
“You look very nice without a beard. I can see your face. Why is the hair on your head like that? Sticking out in ropey protuberances?”
“They’re called dreadlocks. It’s the way my hair grows if I let it. What are you doing here?” He put his fists on his hips and scowled, but he wasn’t too unhappy to see her. Though she certainly wasn’t the reason he had asked Henry to bring him a ra
zor.
Henry had come out to talk to him after his blow-up with Mel. “I never thought she was your child, Jeremy. Most of us didn’t.”
“Who did?”
Henry hadn’t wanted to tell him, but Jeremy had wheedled it out of him. “James. He talked about it in the camp. Some people listened. Mel, mostly.”
“James didn’t want to fight for the children, either.” Jeremy’s eyes had narrowed.
“No, he didn’t.”
Jeremy’s attention was pulled back to the girl. She was talking at record-breaking speed.
“I know that I promised that I wouldn’t come again, but Mel said that you could teach me about computers. He said that no one knows as much about computers as you.”
“Why do you want to know about computers?”
“Because I’ve exhausted the learning resources at the camp and Mel wants me to continue my technological education. He said that he wouldn’t ask you, but that I might.” Her pronunciation and diction were perfect, if a little prissy.
“Who taught you to talk like that?” Jeremy asked.
“I learned to speak from Mel and the others. They taught me English as it is commonly used, and colloquialisms. But recently, the recorded English lessons that Grace took from your computer have been most useful.”
“My computer?”
“Yes. Long ago, Grace did something called ‘hacking into it.’ She said you were very angry at her for doing it.” Wide eyes. “But I’m sure she didn’t mean anything bad by what she did.
“Anyway, you recorded lessons in many languages for the use of the people in the underground shelter. I’ve heard about that, from Sam Good Man, by the way. I have mastered all the lessons in English through the PhD level. I particularly like the vocabulary sections and the dictionary. I’ve almost memorized those. I listen at night.”
“You learned to talk like that from the lessons on my computer?”
“Yes. I am sure you will forgive your mother for hacking into your computer when you see the level of understanding and practice that having those lessons has allowed me to attain.”
“Yeah. I totally forgive her. Listening to you makes it all OK.” He could barely keep from laughing.
“Please, would you teach me about computers? I’m so bored.”
“I’ll have to think about it. I’m doing a lot of computer work out here. I need quiet.”
“Oh, certainly. Working at your level of proficiency would certainly require seclusion and intense concentration.” Those clear, ingenuous eyes. “At any rate, I think I’d best go home now. The sun is dropping toward the horizon. The predatory animals will begin hunting soon.”
“Do you want me to walk you home, Ellie Honey?”
She shook her head. “No. I am very fast.”
“Faster than a mountain lion or pack of wolves?”
“Yes. I can outrun both. My reflexes are very quick and I have great endurance.” Her brows knitted. “Would you please let me know as soon as possible when you have made up your mind about teaching me? I’m eager to learn. And I need to talk to you of other things.”
“Yeah, sure.” He waved at her and she headed down the trail.
She disappeared, but his eyes followed her. Cursing, Jeremy spun and went into the shack. He would not worry about her. If she said she was faster than a charging cougar, he’d believe her. He sat down at his console and pecked at the keys. Shit. He turned and looked in the direction she’d gone.
Never. Never. Never. He lost himself in algorithms.
The howls jarred him into the present. A pack of wolves was raging in the direction of the cliff. They must be after her. Jeremy grabbed his rifle. He ran down the trail. What if he were too late? What if they got her? Tore her apart? Images of Ellie’s bloody body and savaged form flooded him. He ran toward the howls.
“Ellie! Ellie!” he sobbed. He ran through the dark woods almost to the base of the cliff, almost to the camp. She wasn’t there. She had escaped, as she said she could. He stood in the path for a moment, gasping, and then walked back to his shack.
He sat on one of his sofas, a rough thing made of planks and a cushion. Clutching the rifle, he rocked back and forth. The wolves could have killed Ellie. Torn her limb from limb. His knees jumped and shook. He couldn’t stop shaking. He wiped his eyes.
When it was pitch black, he lay down with the rifle on the floor next to him. He stared into the darkness. What if they’d gotten Ellie?
It wasn’t Ellie; it was someone else entirely. But his heart couldn’t tell the difference.
71
When she came the next time, he was standing in the shack’s doorway. She wore a too-large coat, a knitted cap, and mittens. Something inside him felt better seeing that she was dressed for the cold. But he wouldn’t relent. He had decided not to teach her computers. Chicken on his part, but he didn’t care.
She was out of breath. “I hope you don’t mind my coming. I couldn’t stand waiting for your decision any longer.”
“No problem.” He’d tell her in a moment.
“I’ve been working all day. I didn’t know if I’d have time to get here before dark. I take care of the children, which I like very much. I also take care of Sammy some of the time. He is Sam and Grace’s baby. Oh, he’s your half-brother. He’s very charming.”
Jeremy found himself wishing he’d seen his brother more than once. He frowned. “Does my mom pawn him off on you?” The way she’d dumped him with nannies and maids?
“Oh, no. She is devoted to Sammy. It is only when she has some dangerous task to do that she asks me to help.”
“Dangerous?”
“Well, they are redoing the elevator, making it larger and stronger.”
“Oh.” He should be overseeing that. He scowled. She didn’t notice, having changed topics. You could almost see her mind jump from one subject to another.
“Taking care of children is not as satisfying as learning. Not if you do it all the time,” she explained. “When I finished reading the encyclopedia, things slowed down for me.”
“You read the entire encyclopedia?”
“Yes. And many of the texts in your library. Some are tedious, especially those written before the seventeenth century.”
Jeremy turned away to hide a smile. She made him laugh, the way Ellie had. He felt good around her, even though he didn’t want to.
“But if you don’t want to teach me computers, I’ll understand. If you won’t teach me, I can still learn. I can finish learning Russian. And there are other languages as well, French, Spanish. German. Lots of Asian languages. I’ve studied the globe. Asia is on the other side of the world.”
“Yes, I know.”
She frowned and then made one of those shifts in topic that indicated she was thinking of several things simultaneously. “Do you think it probable that the entire world was destroyed in the nuclear holocaust years ago? I think it highly improbable. Only if the nuclear installations were rearranged all over the world could the then-existing stock of nuclear weapons incinerate the globe and wipe out all life. Doing that would require an enormous investment of time and resources …”
“Wait a minute, Ellie Honey. You’re going too fast.” He studied her. She was very smart. Maybe smarter than him.
“Oh. Mel says I do that.”
“Would you like some something to eat, Ellie Honey? I made soy bread. I’ve got water, too. Can you drink that?”
“Of course, I can drink water.” She looked at him as though he’d said something odd. She wasn’t Ellie, Jeremy reminded himself. “All right, I’ll stay. Though I must insist that you don’t have me in unless you really want to. I know your aversion to me.”
She noticed everything. Wanted to know how the sawmill worked. Spotted a weak spot in the supports. Noticed the mountain lion skin on the wall right away. A couple of wolf hides had joined it.
“Oh, Mr. Edgarton, you must be very careful. Catamounts are very dangerous to humans. They hunt in pairs. The mate c
ould be stalking …”
“Catamount?”
“That’s what they called them in an 18th century text I retrieved from the reader. It’s most interesting to read of the settlement of the United States from the words of the settlers. I would bet that the country looked very much like it does now.”
“Probably, Ellie Honey. Can I call you Honey? It’s easier.”
She pulled in a breath. “Well, that is not a proper person’s name, but I suppose that being called the sweet product of a bumble bee is nice. You may call me Honey.”
“And you may call me Jeremy.”
“Oh.” Her gleaming eyes grew round as marigolds. Or mari-silvers, he thought, smiling inside. She pulled up to her full height, looking as though the thought of calling him by his first name shocked her. “Well, that is very nice indeed, Mr… . Jeremy.” She blinked several times.
He brought her into his cabin. They sat on his sofas and ate soy bread and drank herb tea. She kept chattering about catamounts and the mill and the state of the elevator. Chattering nervously, when she really wanted to know what he’d decided.
“Honey.” She looked at him expectantly, wide shiny eyes like mirrors reflecting the sky. “I hate to disappoint you, but I can’t teach you about computers.”
Her shoulders dropped. She seemed to get smaller. “Oh.”
“I’m just too busy. I’m working on a special project and can’t spare the time.”
“Perhaps I could help you, I’m very quick.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t do it.” He felt like such a heel telling her no. But she was taking it OK.
“All right. I can continue with the computers at home. And I’ll accelerate my Chinese.”
“I thought you were learning Russian.”
“I finished almost all of the materials that were available. Now I need to converse with those fluent in Russian,” she said in perfectly accented Russian. “I’m on to Chinese.” That was in perfect Mandarin.
“Oh. Well, good. So you’re all set.”
Her shoulders still drooped. “As ‘all set’ as I can be, given that you will not be teaching me. I do so wish that you hadn’t such antipathy toward me. I don’t know what I have done to make you hate me so much.” Her eyes misted.