Her mouth fell open. She was surprised to hear that her therapist had chimed in on her behalf. There were a lot of pieces that had to have come together in order to keep her alive, and she wasn’t aware of them all.
“I can’t express how thankful and how grateful I am. I am truly honored to have your sister’s heart. Sadly, there is no way for me to thank her.”
“This man…” he said, pointing to Nick. “He was the love of Vera’s life. Thank her by being good to him.”
She smiled with her eyes filled with moisture. “That, I can do.”
Vince walked over to her bed and held out his hand. When she placed her hand in his, he told her, “That’s a Cato’s heart beating inside of you, and I hope it will one day be a Cato’s heart again. I wish you both the best.”
Rebecca didn’t even try to suppress the tears that escaped. With Vince’s blessing, she allowed herself to feel happy. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
“Alright now, that’s enough of that. You have more visitors,” he told her, handing her the box of Kleenex from the nightstand.
Rebecca pulled a tissue from the box and cleaned her face before looking up at him. “More visitors?” she inquired with a weak smile.
When Vince stepped out of the way, her breath hitched at the sight of Nick standing in the doorway holding the tiniest of bundles. He walked over to her and lowered the bundle into her arms.
“I want you to meet my son.” His voice was filled with pride. “This is Nicholas Cato Junior.”
Rebecca cradled Nick’s son in her arms. He was more precious than anything she’d anticipated. And she wasn’t sure her new heart could withstand the level of adoration she felt for his beautiful son.
“He’s perfect,” she said, gazing at him in awe. “So perfect…”
“I know, right?” Nick bragged with a grin.
19
KING
“Good shit, Rebecca,” Lydia praised enthusiastically. “We’re done for the day.”
Rebecca smiled at her physical therapist and slumped over the elliptical machine. After weeks of therapy, she was finally able do forty-five straight minutes of cardio.
“I’ll see you Monday,” Lydia told her, handing her a bottle of water.
“Monday,” Rebecca agreed with a nod. “Have a good weekend.”
She climbed off the machine and grabbed her backpack from a nearby weight bench and slipped the bottle of water inside. Since starting PT, she’d drank enough of the tasteless fluid to fill an Olympic-sized pool. She hopped up from the bench and slung the backpack over her shoulder. She waved at the other patients she’d gotten to know on her way out.
Once she hit the parking lot, cool air and the feeling of dread smacked her in the face, reminding her that she was supposed to meet Nick and Vera’s family for dinner. As if being around him alone wasn’t painful enough, she had to break bread with the family of the woman whose heart was beating in her chest. Facing all that guilt with a smile on her face would be torturous.
Vera’s brother was always sweet and extremely welcoming. But she wouldn’t be surprised if somewhere deep down he harbored a boiling resentment toward her. Not only was she alive because of his sister’s death, but on top of everything, she was also sleeping with the woman’s husband. No one was that understanding. Being around Vera’s family was painful.
And that also included Nick.
Rebecca sighed and headed to her car. After climbing in, she wondered what would be a good enough excuse to bail on her donor’s loving family.
CATO
“Well, hello,” Tanya chirped, causing Nick to look up.
Rebecca had entered the restaurant wearing a sexy, winter-white sweater dress with a matching trench. Nick’s eyes roamed from her thick, curly bun to the hot, stiletto knee-length boots she was wearing. To say Rebecca was beautiful was an understatement. With her perfect, brown complexion, her electric smile, and her heart-stopping curves, she was nothing short of perfection.
Nick stood as she approached with a smile. But behind the smile was so much. Lately, he had no idea where he stood with Rebecca. Since the transplant, she had gotten stronger and stronger every day. Unfortunately, the stronger she got, the more distant she became. They were spending less and less time together.
When she was released from the hospital, she assured him she was fine and they were fine. And since Boogie was no longer a threat, she’d insisted he return to his own house. Reluctantly, he’d gathered his precious son, his belongings, and went home. Being alone in his home without his wife was a miserable new reality. And every single night he was without Rebecca was dreadfully lonely. Even then, as she stood before him, so gorgeous, he was tempted to drop to his knees and beg her to come home with him and never leave.
“Beautiful,” he whispered before he could manipulate his words to say something more profound. He stood and pulled out the chair next to him.
“Thank you,” she said with a smile as she sat.
Still, he could see her apprehension.
“Rebecca, you look amazing!” Tanya gushed.
Rebecca thanked her and gave Nick a peck. Baby Nick was sleeping in the baby seat between them with a big, brown pacifier stuffed in his mouth. Her face warmed as she leaned in to run her finger over his soft, chubby cheeks.
“Hi, Little Nicky,” she cooed softly.
Nick took his seat and watched his woman with his son. As she smiled down at him, Nick could read the emotion in her eyes. It was adoration. She adored his son. But when she looked up at him, the emotion he saw behind her eyes was totally different. Had her feelings changed for him? Nick prayed they hadn’t.
“He’s getting so big,” Rebecca pointed out.
“He really is.” Nick had to agree. “He’s eating his papa out of house and home.”
She giggled and reached for the menu. “What’s good here?”
“Oooh, try the fried alligator,” Tanya encouraged. “It is sooo good.”
“Alligator?” Rebecca’s face twisted into a frown that caused Tanya to giggle.
“It’s good… for real. Trust me.”
She shook her head and laughed. “I’ll let you have that,” she said through a chuckle as she scanned the menu.
Nicked leaned closer, enough to smell her sweet perfume. “I ordered you a sweet tea.”
She thanked him, but her body language was off-putting. She seemed uncomfortable by his closeness. Before the transplant, she’d never seemed uneasy by his presence. Nick sat straight and grabbed the menu in front of him. For now, he would conceal the hurt and get through a meal with family. But afterwards, he fully intended to have a conversation with Rebecca. He was going to get to bottom of her change in demeanor.
* * *
After a verbal battle with his brother-in-law, which he’d lost, Vince paid the check. It was fine, though because Nick was so ready to be alone with Rebecca that he was tempted to bail before he signed the check. He’d already put on his jacket and tucked his little boy in the soft blankets. He was getting them prepared for a quick getaway. And it hadn’t gone unnoticed that Rebecca had put on her coat as well. She was trying to get away, but Tanya blocked her escaped by asking, “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
Her eyes flashed over to Nick and then back to Tanya so fast that he almost missed it. She sighed quietly and smiled. It was the same unauthentic smile that hadn’t reached her eyes that she’d been brandishing all evening.
“Well… I-I’ll be spending the holiday in Paris.”
Nick’s glare landed like lasers on the side of her face. “Paris?” he blurted out louder than he had intended.
Rebecca startled, but avoided his angry gaze. Nick stood. The chair scraped the floor as he pushed it from behind him.
“Can we speak outside?” he asked, gripping her wrist before she could refuse.
“Umm…” she hummed as he pulled her from the chair.
“Okay, Nick,” she grumbled irritably, yanking her wrist from his grasp
.
Nick took a deep breath to quell his anger and held his hand out, allowing her to walk ahead of him. He listened to the click-clack of her heels as he followed her through the restaurant and out the door. By the time they made it to the sidewalk, it dawned on him that they may never be what he’d hoped they’d be. He had thought that her feelings matched his. When she turned to face him, the pain of her big reveal hit him like a bad hangover.
“Paris, Rebecca? How do you just up and decide to go to Paris? What about us?”
She scratched at her temple and looked at him with, of all things, sympathy.
“It was on my list,” she responded timidly.
“List?” Nick frowned. “What list?”
“Dr. Thantos... He…he gave me a list of things to accomplish.”
Nick could feel the anger bubbling inside. “A bucket list? You’re kidding me, right?”
Rebecca shook her head. “Paris was on the list."
“That was when you were dying!” Nick snapped. “You’re not dying now. I thought we—”
“Nick… I’m going to Paris. What’s your problem with Paris?”
Nick moved in, closing the distance between them. “To hell with Paris! I don’t have a problem with you going to Paris. But tell me if I’m wrong, we’re in a relationship, right? We’re a fucking team! At least, we’re supposed to be. How could you make a plan to leave the continent without so much as a discussion?”
Rebecca took a step back and looked up at him. He could see the tears pooling in her beautiful eyes. He could see her distress. Nick felt a tightening in his chest. Unable to bear the thought of her sadness, he clutched her shoulders and pulled her into his arms.
“What is it, baby? What’s going on?” He could feel her chest rise and fall with each heavy breath.
“Rebecca?”
“I can’t do this,” she said after a sniffle.
Nick’s heart dropped. He pulled her tighter, refusing to entertain the possibility of being without her. He’d lost too much. He wasn’t about to lose Rebecca too. “No,” was all he could muster.
She struggled slightly to pull away, but he held on. “Nick…”
“No, Rebecca. Please.”
With a bit more determination, she wiggled herself free. She took a big step back and looked up at him. Her remorseful expression pissed him off. He took a step and reached for her, but she sidestepped his touch. The gesture shut down any hope he had of convincing her that they belonged together.
“Rebecca?”
“Everything is so crazy right now, Nick. It’s all going too fast. I can’t—”
“No! Don’t say it. Rebecca, what the hell is wrong with you? What’s happened?”
Nick reached for her again, but she pulled away. Surely, he’d imagined every word that had fallen from her lips.
“Re—”
“Hey, guys,” Tanya interrupted, preventing him from begging Rebecca to reconsider. “What are you doing out here?”
Vince was standing behind her with his son’s carrier looped in his arm. He gave Nick a look that said he understood something not so good was going down. He pushed his hand to the small of his wife’s back. “Let’s get the car, babe,” he told her, urging her down the sidewalk.
Nick was grateful for the privacy. But when he turned around, Rebecca had advanced, putting at least twenty feet of distance between them. She gave him one last apologetic glance before scuttling down the street.
Like a fool, Nick watched as she ran right out of his life.
20
CATO
“Nick, that’s some very expensive scrolling you’re doing. I’m sure you didn’t ask to see me so I could watch you check your Twitter feed.”
Nick sighed and placed his phone on the table in front of him and looked up at Dr. Thantos. “I’m not on Twitter, Doc. I’m checking my phone for the millionth time. It’s been two weeks and she still hasn’t called.”
“Well, have you called her?”
“Repeatedly,” Nick grumbled. “At least, for the first week.”
“And?”
“And, nothing.” Nick slouched defeated in the leather chair. “Not even a text,” he admitted sadly.
Dr. Thantos stood and walked over to his bookshelf. He searched until he found what he was looking for. He slid a book out of the lineup. Without turning back, he asked him, “What do you know about survivor’s guilt?”
In order to see what the doctor selected, Nick stood and walked over to join him at the bookcase. Dr. Thantos handed him a paperback titled “Surviving Survivor’s Guilt.”
“Miss King was a no show for her last three appointments. I’ve called and sent emails and texts messages to no avail. If she’s dealing with what I suspect she is, she’s probably drowning in despair right about now. For a good woman like Rebecca, the guilt of loving you and receiving your wife’s heart is an agonizing weight to bear.”
Nick blew out a harsh breath and pushed his fingers through hair that hadn’t been cut since Rebecca left him.
“What the fuck was I supposed to do, let her die?!” Nick sighed and raised his hands apologetically for swearing.
The doctor sympathetically waved off his silent apology. “I know what you’ve been through, Nick. But remember, this part is about Rebecca.” Dr. Thantos squeezed his shoulder and handed him the book.
“Hopefully, reading this will help you better understand the demons she’s fighting.”
Nick nodded. What else was there to say? What else could he do but read the book that would explain why his woman had walked out of his life?
21
KING
Rebecca used her Burberry scarf to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. She was in the most beautiful city in the world, and the best she could do was weep while standing in front of the padlock-covered fence on the Pont des Arts Bridge. To Parisians and tourists alike, she must have looked like a total nutcase.
Following her bucket list, she’d booked a flight to Paris the day before Thanksgiving. She had landed early enough the night before to find an American bar where she could enjoy whiskey and blues. When she woke up, she had hit the ground running.
Dr. Thantos was right. For an art conservator, it was a shame she’d never been to the “City of Love” and the home of the Louvre, the most famous museum in the world. Sadly, she couldn’t enjoy the beauty of the timeless art. Her brand-new heart was broken and missing Nick. She knew it the second she stood in front of the inconvenient glass encasement that protected the precious Mona Lisa, crying because she couldn’t share the momentous occasion with him.
To make it better, to somehow stave off the melancholy, she strolled along the Champs-Élysées peering into a bunch of shops that she would never enter back home. And after a sad, lonely trip to the Eiffel Tower, she found herself on a bridge, staring at a thousand padlocks left by folks who, unlike her, weren’t afraid to love. She’d hurl herself over the railing, but a woman’s death had extended her life. The apparition of guilt that haunted her wouldn’t allow her to self-destruct.
She looked at the thousands of locks, left by lovers, amazed at how many had found love when she’d only just experienced, for the very first time in her life, a feeling of true, unconditional, I’ll do anything for you, kind of love. A love that she’d stupidly kicked to the curb.
Before the transplant, she was sure she’d experienced pain. But there was nothing more painful than everyday life without Nick. The guilt of toting his wife’s heart pushed her to a breaking point. If only she’d known… point break was losing the man, the very reason for opening her eyes every morning.
As she stood alone and feeling sorry for herself on a historical bridge stamped with the history of lovers far in the past, she knew she’d fucked up.
“Ma’am, I’m pretty sure if I’m not mistaken, this bridge is for lovers.”
Rebecca froze unable to turn. She was certain she’d heard Nick’s deep rumble. But she couldn’t have. She would have bet a finger tha
t it was a hallucination until his hands cupped her shoulders and she inhaled a scent that was exclusive to him and irresistible to her.
“Nick,” she whispered with disbelief.
He wrapped sturdy arms around her, hugging her from behind.
“Please forgive me, Rebecca, but I had to find you. I love you. I need you.”
Rebecca closed her eyes and relaxed in his embrace. For the first time since she’d left him on a Chicago sidewalk, she inhaled. “What took you so long?”
She was comforted by the soft rumble of his chest when he chuckled. “I’ve been lookin’ for you all day, lady. Paris is a big city.”
Rebecca smiled. “Good job, Detective.”
Nick turned her in his arms and used a finger to lift her chin. After all the crying, she must have looked a raccoon mess as she was forced to connect with his oceanic gaze.
“Sergeant,” he corrected with a beautifully, sinful grin.
Rebecca reached up and caressed his chiseled jaw. He was smiling, but he couldn’t mask the sadness behind his eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Nick. I’ve been—”
With a furrowed brow, Nick shook his head. “No, Rebecca. I’m sorry. I had no idea what you must have been going through and I should have. I was so caught up in what I wanted. The night you left me could have been a cry for help. I should’ve chased you down. I should have never let you go.”
Rebecca’s face warmed as tears pooled in her eyes. Nick pushed his fingers through her thick curls and cupped the back of head. When he pulled her to his hard chest and held her tight, she’d never felt more secure.
“I love you, Nick,” Rebecca hiccupped.
“I know you do, babe.”
He kissed the top of her head and took a slight step backward. He stuffed his hand in the pocket of his jacket.
“Look what I got,” he said with the sexiest of boyish grins.
Cato’s Heart Page 10