by Gail Sattler
Since they were holding hands, the man had to be Brittany’s boyfriend. Likewise, since Chad was holding her hand in a death grip, they probably assumed she and Chad were in a similar relationship.
She watched him as he glared at Brittany, then looked around the room. There was no baby lying in a basket. However, from the looks of Brittany, she did look like a woman who had just had a baby.
Rod motioned everyone toward chairs he’d set out—two sets of two armchairs facing each other on either side of his desk in the center of the room, with plenty of room between.
Brittany and her gentleman friend sat in one set of chairs, and Anna followed Chad’s leading into the other set. The detective remained in the middle, half sitting on the front of his desk.
Rod cleared his throat. “I don’t believe we need introductions. This is not going to be a pleasant transaction, so I’m simply going to state the facts and requirements.” He pulled some documents out of a folder and laid them on the desk. “I’m going to ask that all parties remain silent until I’ve finished speaking.”
He waited until all four of them nodded.
Rod turned to Chad. “As you can see, the baby is not here. That’s because you’re not the father.”
Chad opened his mouth, but Rod quickly raised one hand to silence him. “Brittany declared on the birth certificate that Mark”—he gestured toward the man sitting with Brittany, still holding her hand—“is the father. Mark insisted on a DNA test, and the results confirmed it. Brittany and Mark were married last weekend.”
Chad’s entire body stiffened. His grip on Anna’s hand tightened even more as he stared at Brittany. “But you were pregnant when we were still living together.”
Brittany turned away from him, then looked down at the floor. “Yes,” was all she said.
Anna’s mind reeled. This was not what she’d expected at this meeting, and she knew Chad was absolutely stricken.
His grip on her hand tightened even more, and he continued to glare at Brittany, despite the fact that she refused to look at him. “How could you? How long was this going on behind my back while we were living together? We were engaged to be married!”
Brittany shook her head. “I’m not going to answer that. If you want to see the lab results, they’re on the desk.”
Chad stood abruptly, so Anna stood as well. She actually didn’t have a choice, because his hand gripped hers like a vice. “I don’t need to see them. I’m out of here.”
Brittany stood as well. “No. Also in the pile is a document I had my lawyer write up. It’s an agreement like a prenup, but retroactive, stating that neither of us will proceed with any claim against the other. You have no claim on anything I owned before we started living common law, and I have no claim on anything you owned before.”
Anna watched Chad as he glared at Brittany. She didn’t know much about prenuptial agreements, but she’d heard of them.
Chad narrowed his eyes. “In other words, you’ve got far more money than you told me about, and even though you took almost everything I owned, you’re not going to let me have anything of yours in what should have been a fifty-fifty split.”
Brittany glared right back at him. “Or you may want to protect any assets you didn’t tell me about, and I have every right to take my rightful fifty percent.”
Anna held her breath. She had a feeling it was Brittany who had not been truthful about assets. Since Chad wanted to do the right thing if he was the baby’s father, she had no doubt he would have done the right thing in a breakup settlement. In her heart, she had no doubt it was Brittany who was again being untruthful.
From Chad’s tight expression, Anna could tell he was gritting his teeth as he read the document and then applied his signature. He then extended his arm toward Brittany, offering her the pen. When he stepped back, Brittany stepped forward and signed it, and then the detective signed as a witness, like it had been previously arranged.
Chad turned to Brittany’s husband. “Congratulations. I’m sure you two will be very happy together,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Mark’s face paled, and he didn’t reply.
Chad tugged Anna’s hand. “We’re done,” he said with his teeth still clenched. He guided her quickly to turn around and began walking.
Behind them, Rod cleared his throat. “Brittany will be paying for this meeting. I could have told you what I’d found over the phone, and this should have been done at a lawyer’s office, not here. I’ll have my final bill for my services to you in the mail.”
Chad said nothing. He simply strode out, straight to the car, almost pulling her behind him. After he unlocked the car door, he didn’t open it or seat her but continued on with his fast pace to the driver’s side. Anna scrambled in and barely had the door closed before Chad, who was already behind the wheel, started the engine.
He drove in silence, with sudden movements, driving much too fast, until they reached the first rest area outside the city. He pulled abruptly into a parking stall far away from any other cars, turned off the motor, rested both arms on top of the steering wheel, and dropped his forehead onto his forearms.
Anna had never seen such anguish in a person’s heart—with the blows he’d just been dealt.
Chad didn’t raise his head. His voice shook as he spoke. “I didn’t find out if the baby was a boy or a girl. I don’t know why I even care.”
Watching him, her heart and soul ached for his pain. She’d never felt such a thing before, but part of her wanted to slap Brittany for hurting him so. Retribution aside, more than anything she’d ever wanted in her life, she wanted to take his pain away—to support him and make it all better by giving him all her love, unconditionally, with the promise she would never cheat on him or deceive him.
Anna’s breath caught as she backtracked on her thoughts. She did love him. She’d loved him for months, but she’d been too caught up in her goal of moving to the cities to allow herself to admit it.
She also knew that he loved her. In a roundabout and cautious way, he had already proposed to her. She’d been too shocked at the time to think about what he’d really been telling her. Whether he realized it or not, he had opened his heart to her in a way that protected him, in case she turned him down.
For everything she needed or wanted, she didn’t have to go two hundred miles—she only had to go next door. She suddenly had no desire to move away for a new start, despite all the courses and work she’d done in preparation to leave Piney Meadows. In an instant, she knew what she really wanted. Not a job—she’d wanted to go to a place where she could find a man who would love her as much as she would love him. She’d read books about couples falling in love and becoming soul mates. She’d never understood what that meant, but like an epiphany, right now, she did.
Her heart burned for Chad, for all the hurt, anguish, pain, and anger rolling through him. She wanted to make it all better, to tell him how much she loved him, but this was not the time. At this time, she doubted he would believe her, perhaps thinking that she would only say such a thing to ease his pain. What he needed right now was for her to hold him up, even though it took all her emotional strength not to cry for his despair.
“I am so sorry,” she gulped. “I do not know what to say.”
He shook his head without raising it. “There’s nothing you can say. I feel so mixed up. Burned. Violated. Manipulated. I feel like part of me has been ripped away, but the baby was never part of me in the first place. Neither was Brittany, either, I guess. All she did was use me for what she wanted. But knowing she was pregnant with another man’s baby is really the worst. I feel . . . I don’t know. Tainted. I can’t describe it. I want to hold you, but I feel like I need to get tested for STDs or something first. Is this how a leper felt when they feared they were unclean?”
Anna bit into her lower lip. Chad’s voice was starting to become uneven. If he broke down completely, she didn’t know what to do.
While she understood and respecte
d his feelings, he needed to know he wasn’t alone.
Anna inhaled deeply, reached to him, rested one hand on the center of his back, and rubbed gentle, soothing circles. “I am sure you are fine, but I certainly understand that you would want to get tested.”
He nodded, still without lifting his head. “I should feel relieved the baby isn’t mine and I’m in the clear, free to go on with my life. Happy. But I don’t. What’s the matter with me?”
It made sense most men would feel relief at no longer being trapped by an unplanned baby. However, Chad had accepted it and had made plans to change his life, to make sacrifices, and to be a good father. His willingness to take responsibility in a difficult and unplanned situation was one of the things she found so very appealing about him.
She slid her hand from rubbing the center of his back to his shoulder, leaned over the stick shift and parking brake, reached to grasp his forearm with her other hand, and rested her cheek on his shoulder. “Nothing is the matter with you. You are a good man, Chad. God has blessed you with a good and faithful heart.”
He raised his head to look at her, causing her to lift her head from his shoulder and meet his reddened eyes.
Anna’s heart melted. Leaning forward a little more, she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a small tug, hoping to encourage him to come the rest of the way.
Chad squeezed his eyes shut, his breathing hitched, and before she could catch her next breath, he twisted, his arms surrounded her, his cheek pressed into the top of her head, and he embraced her so tightly she couldn’t move. She felt him struggling to breathe evenly, which made her heart break for him even more. Gradually, his body relaxed, he sighed, and he released her.
He slumped in his seat, turned his head as if looking out the window, ran his sleeve across his eyes, and then grasped the steering wheel and turned to her. “We should head home. We’ve got a long drive back, and I’d like to stop at Dr. Friesen’s office before he closes the clinic for the day.”
30
Chad stared blankly at his computer screen, unable to type. Except for the low hum of the two computers’ fans, the clicking of Anna typing at full speed was the only other background noise in the office.
He couldn’t believe how hollow he felt. Of course, Dr. Friesen wasn’t sure of what he needed for an STD test. It was the first time he’d ever done one. Dr. Friesen had relieved him of a few vials of blood, more than he thought would be necessary, just in case, plus he took a rather invasive body fluid sample, and then told him he’d have to wait until Monday for the results to come back from the lab in Bemidji.
Chad continued to stare as the screen saver kicked in. Instead of getting back to the quote he should have been working on, his mind drifted as he watched, mesmerized, the colored lines merge and blend as they flipped and turned around.
After getting home from the doctor’s office yesterday, he’d taken Waddles and Blinkie into the house and just sat there with them in his lap and phoned Brian. It had felt safer telling his friend that way than having to look him in the face and recount his day. He didn’t know if he could have done it in person.
Brian had been so silent so long, Chad didn’t know if he’d lost his phone connection. Instead of a shout of victory that it was over and Chad was free, he’d quietly asked Chad what he was going to do now.
Of course, Chad knew the question had been about Anna. The answer was that he didn’t know.
He’d thought about it all evening, sitting in his silent living room with two snoozing chickens in his lap, and came up with nothing. At nearly one in the morning, he’d carried them to their box at the foot of the bed and put them on their blankets without bothering to put their diapers on and gone to bed. Instead of sleeping, he’d lain there in the pitch black room staring up at the ceiling almost till dawn, the same way he was now staring at the moving, colored lines on the computer screen. He’d woken up at noon, when the phone rang. Anna had seen no lights on in his house and gone to work without him, then phoned him at lunchtime to get him to come in.
And he’d done nothing ever since. But he’d changed the scheme on his screen saver a few times.
Maybe if he changed it back to the system’s logo, it would bore him enough to get back to his quote. Or not.
“Chad?” Anna’s voice came softly from the doorway, so he turned to look at her. “It is time to go home.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “I hope you are still planning to go to the Bible study meeting tonight. I would not like it for you to stay home alone.”
“I don’t think so. I’m not very good company right now.”
“Then it is more reason for you to come. I have been praying very much for you. I would like you to come.” Her voice dropped. “These people, they are your friends. They would want to pray for you.”
He looked into her eyes. He’d never seen her so sad, and it made him ache since it was because of him.
Chad moved the mouse to kill the screen saver, clicked the button to begin the sequence to shut his computer off, and stood. “Okay, I’ll go.”
As they walked home, Chad had nothing to say, but he had a lot to think about. He’d already announced his sins to the church membership, and in comparison, this should be easy, especially since it was closing the door on a section of his life he was glad was over. Somehow this felt worse—instead of confessing his sins, he was announcing his failures.
If he had to find something positive, then once he told this small group, in less than a day the whole town would know, and he wouldn’t have to say it out loud ever again.
After he dropped Anna off at her home, being home alone seemed daunting. He’d never had time drag on so long. Even cooking a meal didn’t make time go any faster, especially when in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to eat it.
Five minutes before they usually left, Anna was at his door, coming to him instead of him walking first to her house, as if she were afraid he had changed his mind.
The more he thought about it, telling the small group tonight would be the best way of spreading the news. Still, he was in no rush to get to Leonard and Lois’s home.
He didn’t know how they knew, but as everyone greeted him, everyone asked him what was wrong. He almost felt swarmed; even the men seemed hesitant to leave him alone.
The kindness of these good people was overwhelming.
As soon as the last person arrived, as he always did, Leonard welcomed everyone as a group, then invited everyone to share their praises and prayer requests.
Chad waited until everyone had said something, and when he was the last one left, Anna picked up his hand, squeezed it, and didn’t let go.
In front of everyone. He could have melted from the stares.
Anna cleared her throat. “Chad has something very important, and very personal that he wishes to ask for you all to pray with him about.” She gave his hand another squeeze, turned to him, and nodded.
He told everyone the short version of the meeting with Brittany—not including his trip to the doctor’s office—then sucked in a deep breath as Anna gave his hand another little squeeze.
The room fell into complete silence, which was amazing considering there were fifteen adults squeezed into the small living room. Instead of saying more, he stared down at Anna’s hand, still joined with his, so he didn’t have to look at anyone else looking at him.
Leonard’s voice, lower in pitch than usual, finally broke the silence. “Let us now pray.”
Leonard prayed for everything that had been mentioned before Chad spoke, then paused. During the lull, Chad felt the warmth of a number of hands resting on his shoulders, then one hand on top of his head. After Leonard prayed for him, many others prayed such heartfelt and earnest prayers he nearly broke down. Behind him, Evelyn’s voice cracked, and she sniffled as she prayed for him.
These were good and gracious people.
Of course, there were always a few exceptions in every crowd, but even with the shortcomings of those few, he had fa
llen in love with the people of Piney Meadows.
After his testimony, he’d been accepted as a church member by most of the membership, even if he wasn’t ever going to be in the inner circle of their society. He could accept that, but Pastor Jake hadn’t. Just to straighten out the few who stood on the judgmental side of the fence, Pastor Jake had aimed a whole sermon at those people, and everyone in the congregation knew who they were, including the direct recipients.
Again, his sins were affecting these good people. They would never be as innocent as they once were, because of him. By opening their eyes, he was poisoning them.
Even if he wasn’t corrupting them directly, he couldn’t fit into their lifestyle. He’d tried and failed. Some of his greatest joys, such as cooking, were his biggest secrets. He simply didn’t fit into their culture. Even in his small circle of good friends, he was still an outsider, and he would always be an outsider.
Someone squeezed his shoulder, and a different person began praying for him, for stillness and inner strength.
He didn’t have the test results back from Dr. Friesen yet. He shouldn’t allow these good people to even touch him, just in case they were positive.
Yet, right now, he thought he’d die if he had to release Anna’s hand.
When everyone had finished praying for him, for his healing, and for peace, someone also prayed for Brittany and her husband and their baby. He prayed along with them, and as he agreed in prayer, he started to pray for them as a family as well. Even though the wounds ran deep, and probably always would, his prayers for Brittany, Mark, and the baby were sincere, as were the prayers of all around him.
These were good, godly people, and Chad had no doubt they meant every word of their prayers.
At the closing amen, Leonard picked up his Bible. “I have changed my mind on tonight’s lesson. Please turn with me to Psalms 103:2-4. ‘Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies.’ ”