“An old copy of The Joy of Sex.”
“Well, don’t get that!”
She grinned at him. “Why not? It has great pictures. See?”
“I see, all right, and if you go up to the counter with that book, George will know something’s up.”
“Something was.” Her green eyes sparkled.
“And if we don’t get the hell out of here, it will be again. Let’s just grab some books and go.”
“Okay, here.” She thrust The Joy of Sex into his hands. “You buy that, and I’ll take these.” She took down three more books from the same shelf.
Alec finally noticed the label above the shelf: Human Sexuality. Sure enough, Molly had more books along the same lines as the one she’d shoved off on him. “Molly, I can’t go up there and—”
“Why not? I dare you. Tell me, is there a single thing wrong with good sex?”
“No.”
“Then why be afraid to let somebody know you like it? Besides, George took these books into his store and created a shelf for them. Do you suppose he would have done that if he never expected anyone to buy them?”
She had a point. He thumbed through the book. It did have some excellent pictures. Now, that pose, right there—
She closed the book before he could read the description. “We can look at them later. Let’s go home.”
That got his attention. “Home? What about Mystic?”
“I’ve lost the urge to shop.”
“Thank God.” Taking her elbow, he propelled her to the front of the store so fast she had to skip to keep up with him. “George?” he called out. “We’re ready to pay up and leave.”
George ambled out from his hideaway. “Find everything you needed?”
Alec wondered how much George knew about what had just gone on in the back of his bookstore. “Sure did.” He placed his book squarely on the scarred counter. “I’ll take this one.”
“Now, there’s a classic,” George said, scooting the book over near the cash register so he could flip open the cover and read the price written inside. “No couple should be without this book. Good choice.” He rang up the sale on his antique cash register and glanced over at Molly as if wondering if hers would be on the same tab.
Alec decided they would be. They were used books, for Pete’s sake, not Waterford crystal. He took Molly’s books from her before she realized what he was about to do. “And these, too.”
“But—” Molly stepped forward.
“My gift to you.” Alec smiled at her.
She looked flustered, but she didn’t try to talk him out of it.
“More good choices,” George said. He rang up Molly’s three books and gave Alec the total.
As Alec was paying for the books, he felt great on several counts. Obviously the sexual episode in the back of the store had put him in a good mood, but having the guts to buy these books made him feel kind of triumphant, too. Last of all, being the one who paid gave him a big boost. Shallow though it might be, he needed that for his masculine pride.
“Here you go, honey.” He’d added the endearment on a whim and found he liked the way it sounded. As he handed Molly the stack of books, he wished she’d picked out a few more. They weren’t expensive, so it seemed as if he’d given her a lot of stuff.
“Thank you, Alec.” Her smile trembled a little at the corners, as if his gesture had touched her.
Well, good. And now it was time to get back to the cottage and touch her in a few other ways. He put his arm around her waist. “Now, let’s go home.”
13
ON THE WAY BACK to Old Saybrook, Molly admitted to herself that she was in really deep this time. In front of the bookstore owner Alec had treated her like his girl, and that’s what she wanted to be. She wanted to share everything with him, including her secret life as Dana Kyle’s ghostwriter.
But she couldn’t tell him about that, not without getting Dana’s okay. Maybe it was a good thing that she was scheduled to see Dana next week. She’d talk to Dana about Alec and ask for permission to tell him about the ghostwriting. She and Alec couldn’t have a real relationship until he knew about it.
In the meantime, he needed what she was providing today—lots of fun and sex. He worked very hard, and she didn’t think that was good for him, either, especially since he didn’t particularly seem to enjoy school. Next Tuesday she’d be leaving for several days, so he could catch up on his work then.
She kept looking for the right moment to mention that, but instinctively she knew it could cause a problem. He would want to know why she was going, especially now, when they’d become so involved with each other. So she was putting off that moment. Knowing she had to tell him about Tuesday’s trip was another reason to keep things light between them and not get into any more discussions about her parents and life in Hollywood.
Fortunately her creative behavior in the back of the store seemed to have taken his mind off that subject for the time being. She shouldn’t have picked up the latest Dana Kyle in the first place, but she’d been curious to see what George was charging for it. More than he was asking for The Joy of Sex, as it turned out. That gave her some satisfaction.
Whenever someone praised the Dana Kyle books in Molly’s hearing, she wondered if she should just keep on writing them and forget about her own career. She might never reach that level of readership and fame on her own. But then she’d look around at all the well-stocked shelves in a store like George’s and know that she wouldn’t rest until at least some book, somewhere, had her name on the spine.
“So are we going to have Saturday night at the movies?” Alec asked as they drew closer to the turnoff for Old Saybrook.
Molly thought of all the things they’d done in front of the camera, and heat rose to her cheeks. She wasn’t sure she could sit through the videos with Alec without being mortally embarrassed.
He glanced at her and his eyebrows lifted. “What’s this? Hesitation from a woman who performed oral sex in the back of a bookstore, a woman who challenged me to buy sex books in public without flinching?”
“What if we look ridiculous on the tape?” Or you look terrific and I look like a creature from outer space?
“What if we look hot? What if it inspires us to do more of the same?”
Molly laughed. “I don’t think we need much inspiration. Plus, we have these books.”
“C’mon, Molly. Don’t wimp out on me, now. I’ve been dying to see what that video looks like. Let’s order a pizza, pick it up on the way home and eat dinner in front of your TV while we watch the tape.”
“If we look really stupid, can we shut the whole thing off?”
Alec grinned. “I figure we’ll watch maybe three minutes before we start ignoring what’s prerecorded and go live. So I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Oh.” Molly had been trying to control her urges all day, and an image of them having sex on the floor while their filmed selves went at it on-screen was enough to bring her needs bubbling to the surface. “You could be right about that.”
“I’m right.” He took his cell phone out of the holder on the dash of the Blazer. “What’s the number of your favorite pizza place?”
She gave it to him and he punched in the numbers with his thumb.
“What do you want on it?”
“The works.”
“See, I knew we were meant for each other.”
Molly wished he wouldn’t say things like that, comments that a boyfriend would make. While he ordered, she mulled over that phrase. Maybe they were meant for each other, if they’d been lucky enough to meet when they actually had time to find out. Catching moments here and there, how would they ever know?
“Forget I said that.” Alec disconnected the phone and put it back in its holder.
She pretended not to understand. “Said what?”
“That we were meant for each other. I was kidding around. I know this is a temporary, for-the-hell-of-it kind of relationship.”
If only
she could contradict him. “We’re not ready for more right now.”
“You’re right. I could hardly expect you to put up with a couple of hours here, a couple of hours there, not to mention my ever-shrinking budget.”
That hit her wrong. “Alec, money isn’t an issue. Time, yes, but not money.”
“That’s because you have plenty.”
Here it came, the rich girl–poor boy deal she’d struggled with all her life. Except now she was on her own, not living off her parents’ wealth. “I wouldn’t say I have plenty.”
“Well, you’re ahead of me. You own a house—”
“Inherited from my grandmother.” But she had to admit not many people her age were handed an entire house, mortgage-free.
“And somehow you manage to buy food and pay for a car service without having a job.”
“I—” She stopped herself before saying that she didn’t pay for the car service but that she certainly had a job.
“It’s okay. I don’t blame you for taking money from your folks so you can work on your novel. I’d do the same thing in your shoes. And if somebody gave me a cute little house like that, I’d definitely live in it. I’m just saying that you’re way ahead of me on the wealth curve.”
She couldn’t deny any of that without revealing things she wasn’t free to expose. But he was right that she had more money than he had. “And that bothers you.”
“Not for the short run,” he said quietly. “For the long haul it might.”
“But it shouldn’t!”
He glanced at her. “Molly, I was raised blue collar, and some of the values stick to me like burrs. I’m giving it to you straight. I don’t know if I could date a wealthy woman unless I was knocking down a big salary, myself.”
“You have the potential to do that eventually.”
“Yeah, but I’m not doing it yet.” He pulled up in front of the pizza parlor. “And that said, the pizza’s on me.” He turned off the engine and hopped out. “Be right back.”
She knew better than to try to change his mind, about the pizza or about his old-fashioned ideas concerning money. Ironically, his fierce independence was something she cherished about him. Too many guys had seen her as a contact who would help make them rich.
But she hadn’t thought their financial differences would become a solid barrier between them. Maybe she could get him to see that his contribution to her writing career was worth more than a fat bank account. If she hit it big and he was part of the reason, why shouldn’t he share in the rewards? Unfortunately, she wasn’t sure that argument would fly with someone like Alec.
Even discounting the sale of her own books, she was doing well because of the ghostwriting. He wouldn’t be able to match her income for several years, and he’d just said he didn’t want anything permanent with a woman who was worth more than he was. By the time they were economic equals, assuming that happened someday, they could be miles apart, both geographically and mentally.
Maybe she never should have started this. But then she would have missed out on some of the most amazing loving she’d ever had. Loving. The word described what had happened between them far better than sex, yet it was the first time she’d allowed herself to use it.
She watched Alec come out of the pizza parlor carrying a flat cardboard box, and her heart squeezed at how gorgeous he was. Oh, damn, she wanted this connection, no matter what label it should have, to go on forever. And now she was afraid that it might not happen.
When he opened the door and handed her the warm pizza box, the air became saturated with the scent of onions, tomato sauce and melted cheese. A hunky guy and fresh pizza. Throw in a lifetime together, and voila. She had all she needed. But she had to be careful about setting her heart on it.
“I’m starving!” she said. “I didn’t realize I was so hungry!”
“Didn’t you eat lunch?” He buckled his seat belt and started the engine. “I should have asked you that, but I thought for sure you would have.”
“Did I eat lunch?” She had to think about it. “I guess not. I was so excited about you coming over that I forgot all about it, apparently.”
“Now, that kind of talk could turn a guy’s head.” Alec pulled back into light traffic and headed for Molly’s cottage.
“Then I’m glad I confessed. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
He glanced over at her, his smile warm. “Neither do you, Miss Molly. I didn’t bother with lunch, either.”
“Because you washed and waxed the truck instead,” she guessed.
He shrugged. “It needed to be done.”
“You could have picked me up in a dirty old rattle-trap, you know.”
“No, I couldn’t. That would make it seem as if I didn’t give a damn, and that wouldn’t—” He stopped speaking abruptly. “Well, I just couldn’t.”
Her heart beat faster. In other words, he did give a damn. In other words, he was getting as hung up on her as she was on him. In that case, she would start her campaign to help him see that he’d made a major contribution to her writing career.
She cleared her throat. “Before you leave tomorrow, I hope you’ll have time to read my revised love scenes. I think they’re a lot better. I’ll bet Benjamin will think so, too. And I have you to thank for that.”
“I’ll make the time,” he said. “You’re going to be a big success, Molly. Bigger than your friend Dana Kyle.”
“I’d be satisfied to be half as successful as that.” So he’d brought up Dana again. He was probably using their former tense conversation about Dana to remind her that there were secrets between them. He had to be frustrated with her silence, but no matter how much she wanted to tell all, she couldn’t. Not until she’d made that trip to California and cleared it with Dana.
BY THE TIME they’d settled on the floor with the pizza box on the coffee table and the TV ready to roll the tape, Alec thought he had his head on straight regarding Molly. His function in her life was similar to a sparring partner for a boxing champion. She’d probably always be grateful to him, but they would never be equals. And love couldn’t exist without equality. He knew that.
His heart, however, wasn’t listening. His heart wanted to carry Molly off the way Tarzan had carried Jane, and keep her with him in some tree house where they’d make love, have children and grow old together. His heart didn’t care that she belonged to another world and was destined for fame and even more fortune than she already had.
As he bit into a fragrant slice of pizza and waited for the snow to clear from the screen, he told his heart to shut up. In a few minutes he’d have the opportunity for some outstanding sex. He’d been so sure of that, he’d laid out a couple of condoms next to the pizza box, which had made Molly laugh.
He’d told her they’d need them, guaranteed. Considering they were about to watch themselves having sex, he was convinced they’d be engaging in more of it in short order. No sense in having mushy thoughts about love and forever mess up what was a very good thing.
“Okay,” Molly said as the first image popped onto the screen. “This is me, just lying there, waiting for you to come through the bedroom door.” She pulled a slice of pizza from the box and dragged it free of a few cheese strands.
“You look like every man’s wet dream.” Alec forgot to chew as he stared at Molly lying on the bed. Sure enough, his penis started to get happy.
“I shouldn’t have crossed my legs. I look nervous.” She took another bite of her pizza.
“Were you?”
“Oh, yeah. My heart was beating like crazy. Can’t you hear the squeak in my voice when I called out to you?”
“I can’t pay attention to your breasts and your voice at the same time, and I’m more interested in your breasts. Your breasts are very photogenic.”
“Gee, thanks. Whoops, here comes the man of the hour. Now we have dialogue.”
“What dialogue? I’m just staring at you like one of those cartoon guys with springs on his eyeballs. I look like
I have the IQ of a dust bunny.”
That made her laugh, which he was glad for. She seemed way too tense, when he was hoping this viewing would loosen her up. He really did look like a doofus, though, standing there ogling while he took off his clothes. “Geez, did I actually start interviewing you about your video experience? What a nerd.”
She laughed harder. “You did. You sounded like a regular Tom Brokaw. Were you a film student in L.A.? A starlet? Meanwhile you were getting out of your clothes like they were on fire. So there I am, trying to slow you down.”
“And there I am, giving you a little of my life story. I’m about to have my first taped sex ever, and I have to pause to explain that I chop wood for the landlady for a break on the rent. This video needed a scriptwriter, bad.”
“I’m liking it so far.” Molly giggled and finished off her first piece of pizza.
Alec groaned as he watched himself fumbling with his belt. “Get the prong out of the hole, dummy. You do it every day of your miserable life, but when you’re on camera, you suddenly can’t remember how it goes.”
“I thought it was cute that you were so excited.”
“Cute, my ass. Too bad you decided to share the set with a long lost cousin of the Three Stooges. I—” He stopped, the slice of pizza halfway to his mouth. She’d started fooling around with his belt. He stared at the screen as his groin began to throb. Slowly he laid the pizza slice back in the box without taking his attention from what Molly was doing with his belt.
“I can’t believe I really did that,” she murmured.
“Mmmph.” It was the best he could manage as he concentrated on the screen version of Molly using that belt in a way he’d never imagined a belt being used. He’d never told her, but that belt was rolled up and enshrined in the back of his sock drawer, never to be worn again. He thought of it with more reverence than his Mike Piazza autographed baseball.
Back and forth the belt slid, and Molly moaned softly. He moaned, too, both on-screen and off. Then she made herself come. Oh…my…God.
“Alec…” Molly laid a hand on his thigh.
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