He decided to make it easier on her. “Hey, don’t worry about me. I’ll be hitting the books while you’re gone. Your timing is good, as a matter of fact. I found out yesterday that I need to put my nose to the grindstone this week.”
She swallowed. “I’ll bet you do.”
“Hey, by the time you get back I’ll have everything squared away.” He couldn’t stand looking into those sad eyes another second, so he glanced around and located her suitcase sitting by the front door. “Let’s get moving, Miss Molly.” He grabbed the designer luggage by the handle and carried it out the door, the way he had countless times before in the past six months.
Except this time everything was different. This trip he’d chauffeur a woman he’d made love to for hours, a woman who could change the color of his world with her smile.
She wasn’t giving him any of those smiles today, though. She continued to blink away tears as he helped her into the car and stowed the suitcase in the trunk. He climbed into the car and looked over at her. She had her hands clenched in her lap and her jaw was tight. She looked as if she’d like to roll into a ball and shut out the world.
“It’ll be okay, Molly.” He rubbed his hand over her knee. “It’s only for a little while.”
She nodded, not speaking and not looking at him.
With a final squeeze, he turned to the business of driving her to the airport. “Music?” he asked as they pulled away from her cottage.
“No, thanks.” Her voice was thick with unshed tears.
“You keep this up, I’m liable to start bawling, too, and then where will we be?”
“I’m…I’m sorry.” She sniffed. “Go ahead and turn on the CD player if you want.”
“That’s okay.” He focused on the road ahead. “We can just drive.”
And drive they did, without a word being exchanged. Alec was enormously flattered that she was this upset about leaving him. Maybe all his wild daydreams about building a life with her weren’t so out of the ballpark, after all.
Finally, as they neared the airport, he decided to test the waters. “You know, I won’t be in class this summer.”
No response.
“I have to work for Red Carpet and make money, of course, but that won’t take all my time. We could have a great summer, Molly. I’m thinking of simple things, like roasting marshmallows on the beach, taking a ferry ride, or just lying in the sand counting the stars. Doesn’t that sound good?”
She made a funny little noise in her throat, as if she might be choking back a sob. He hadn’t meant to make her feel worse, so he gave up on that tactic. She must really be upset.
He had another horrible thought. “Molly, are your folks doing all right? Nobody’s real sick, are they?”
She shook her head.
“That’s good. I was worried that you might have gotten some bad news recently.” Strange. If nobody was dead or dying, she was reacting to this trip with more emotion than he would have expected.
“Tell you what,” he said as they approached the terminal. “Do you still have my card with the cell number on it?”
She gave no indication she’d even heard him, although she must have.
“Anyway, here’s another one.” He pulled it out of the clip on his visor and handed it to her. “Call me anytime while you’re out there. And I mean anytime. I wouldn’t even care if you woke me up. I’ll probably be dreaming about you, anyway.” He swung the Town Car neatly into a spot by the curb and unfastened his seat belt so he could get out.
“Alec, wait.”
For one wild moment he thought she might ask him to keep driving and take her back to the cottage. But after a quick look at her tear-streaked face, he knew that wasn’t happening. “Molly, honey, what is it?” He started to cup her face in his hands, but she drew back. He stared at her, unable to believe that she’d pulled away from him.
“It’s over.” She drew a ragged breath. “It’s over between us, Alec.”
He sat there stunned, waiting for the pain to hit him. Instead, he felt numb, incapable of moving or speaking.
“This is goodbye.”
He saw her lips move, even interpreted what she’d said, but he couldn’t hear her over the roaring in his ears.
She snapped open her seat belt and reached for the door. “If you’ll pop the trunk latch, I’ll get my suitcase. You can stay here.”
The sound of her door opening penetrated the static in his head, and he grabbed her arm before she could leave. “You can’t be serious.” His voice came out in a croak, as if he’d been sick for a week.
She gazed at him, tears dribbling out of her eyes. “I’m serious. When I get back, whenever that is, I’ll find a new car service. I’m sorry, Alec, but that’s the way it has to be.”
“Bullshit!” He gripped her arm tighter. “You feel something for me! Look at me and tell me I mean nothing to you!”
“You mean a great deal to me.”
“Then for God’s sake, why?”
“Because it’s best. Please, Alec, let me go.”
“Best for who?” In his agony, he dredged up the only reason that made sense. “Is there someone in L.A.? Someone who has a hold on you?” Or someone you need more than me?
“No.”
“Then, damn it, why can’t we pick up where we left off when you get back? I can’t believe you’re dropping me because you’ve figured out how to write your sex scenes so now I’m dispensable. You’re not that kind of woman.”
She swallowed. “Thank you for that.” Then she looked down at his fingers wrapped securely around her arm, and back into his eyes. “You need to let me go, Alec. I’ll miss my plane.”
His throat felt raw. “Isn’t there anything I can say, anything I can do, that will change your mind about this?”
She shook her head.
“Maybe you’ll decide differently once you get to California. Keep my card. Call me. We’ll talk about this.” He sounded frantic, but he couldn’t worry about his pride right now.
“I won’t change my mind. Don’t hold out any hope that I will. That will only make things more difficult.”
“They couldn’t be more difficult.”
“Alec…” Her glance was pleading as she glanced again at the arm he continued to clutch desperately.
He let her go. Obviously nothing would make a difference now, but he refused to believe this was the end. No matter how many times he’d told himself they’d part ways eventually, he hadn’t really faced the possibility. And after Saturday and Sunday, when they’d been so happy, so good together, he’d pushed it completely from his mind.
Operating on autopilot, he unlatched the trunk and made it around to the back before she did. He’d be damned if he’d let her wrangle her own suitcase. He lifted it out, set it on its wheels and snapped the raised handle into place. Only then did he turn it over to her.
“Goodbye, Alec,” she said.
He’d started to feel reckless by then. “Where’s the kiss to go along with the kiss-off?”
“That was…back at the cottage.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t know that then.” Stepping quickly around the suitcase, he caught her chin in his hand and gave her a fierce kiss, thrusting his tongue deep, claiming that right whether she wanted him to or not. Then he looked into her eyes. “This is not the end,” he murmured. Turning away, he walked back to the driver’s side of the limo, got in and closed the door.
The pain hit him then, and it was far worse than he’d expected. For a few seconds he was afraid he might embarrass himself and throw up. Somehow he maneuvered the big car out into the thick traffic of the passenger drop-off area without hitting anybody. He wasn’t fit to drive, but he had no choice. He headed away from the terminal, using every ounce of discipline he had to keep from wrecking the car, even though right now he didn’t care about the car or himself.
But eventually the pain would ease enough for him to be able to think. He had to believe that or go crazy. Then again, maybe he was cr
azy already, because despite all the reasons why he wasn’t fit to wipe Molly’s shoes, he was determined to see her again. No matter what she’d said, they were a long way from being over.
15
ONCE BACK in her parents’ Beverly Hills mansion, Molly decided she was a better actress than she’d thought. She’d convinced both her mom and dad that although she might seem depressed, she was merely exhausted from a heavy writing schedule.
After a rare family dinner that made her feel unusually nostalgic, she excused herself and escaped to her old room before she spilled her guts. She knew her parents, and they would beg her to move home again. She didn’t feel strong enough to fight that battle.
Once upon a time her bedroom had felt like a prison. A pricey prison, for sure, with its huge canopied bed, adjacent marble bath and a balcony that looked out on an Olympic-size pool, but a prison nevertheless. Decorated in artfully faded denim and a sunflower print, the California-chic designed room was an expression of what her parents had wanted for her more than her own vision. She’d always preferred Grandma Nell’s cozy antiques and ruffles.
But for now, she was glad to be in this room instead of at the cottage. Eventually she’d go back. She wasn’t about to give up her beloved cottage because of painful memories. She’d learned to accept that Grandma Nell wasn’t there anymore, so she’d learn to accept that Alec wouldn’t be there anymore, either.
Flopping down on the king-size mattress, she turned over and stared up at the giant sunflowers splashed on the canopy. Well, she’d done the noble thing where Alec was concerned. She hadn’t attempted that many noble deeds in her life, and she was disappointed that this one left her feeling so crappy. She should feel uplifted by the knowledge that Alec could now realize his full potential, thanks to her stepping aside.
Instead, she kept picturing his face when she’d delivered the blow. She’d made him suffer, and even though it was supposed to be for his own good, she hated thinking of how he would continue to suffer, at least for a while. He didn’t deserve that.
She’d considered delaying the bad news until she flew back to Connecticut, but she was afraid the longer she waited, the less courage she’d have to actually do it. After being away from him for a week or two, she would have been so glad to see him that she wouldn’t have been able to say those necessary words. She might never have said them.
And he would have given up his plan of being a lawyer. She truly believed Josh was right about that. Once she’d taken off her rose-colored glasses, she’d seen all the signs that he was headed in that direction. Feeling horrible now was better than finding out later that she’d unintentionally sabotaged Alec’s dream.
She sure hoped Josh would be able to talk some sense into Alec and make him see that breaking up with her was in his best interests. Thinking of Josh sharing a beer with Alec and comforting him made her feel a little bit better. Yes, Josh would take care of Alec.
As for her, she needed to make her mind a blank so that she could get some sleep. At the moment that seemed like an unreachable goal, but she’d count as many sheep—or sunflowers—as it took. Tomorrow included her lunch with Dana, and for that she had to be sharp if she expected to convince Dana that the gardener did it.
ALEC HAD THE DAY FREE. He spent it in the law library, but his books lay unopened in front of him. Once again, he was at a crossroads in his life, and this time he was going to make the right choice, the choice he should have made a long time ago. Finally, when he had the plan that made sense to him, he gathered up his books and went back to his apartment.
He was on the Internet when his doorbell buzzed later that night. His ancient computer was so damn slow that he could easily answer the door while he waited for the site to come up.
Josh stood on the other side of the door, a six-pack in one hand. “I came as soon as I could.” He walked in and headed for the kitchenette. “Let’s pop the top on a couple of these and you can tell me all about it. Or we can watch the ball game on TV and not talk about it. Whatever you want.”
“I’ll be with you in a minute. Let me take care of something on the computer first.”
Josh’s eyebrows rose. “You’re working on that paper already? You da man!”
“Uh, no. Something else. Open a beer for me, would you?” He wanted Josh to have a brew in his hand before hearing the news.
“Sure. I thought I’d open several for you before the night’s over. I’m glad to see you at the computer, though. That’s an excellent sign.”
Alec went back to his small computer desk and started making choices on the screen. At one point he reached in his back pocket, took his credit card out of his wallet and punched in those numbers. There. Done. His printer started whooshing and groaning as it coughed up a receipt. Alec closed the window of the travel site before Josh came over, a beer in each hand.
He glanced at the credit card lying beside the computer. “You buying something?”
“Yeah.” Alec took the beer Josh handed him and stood. “Thanks.”
Josh clicked his can against Alec’s. “To the future.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Alec took a hefty swallow, and some of the butterflies in his stomach mellowed out. “Have a seat.” He gestured toward the tweed sofa. “Oh, and I hate to back out on taking that Saturday gig for you, but I don’t think I can do it.”
“Hey, not a problem.” Josh settled onto the sofa. “You have a tough schedule coming up. I probably shouldn’t let Pris think I’m a coward, anyway. Besides, there will be bridesmaids, right? I could end up with a couple of phone numbers out of the deal.”
“There’s a thought.” Alec knew how committed he was to Molly when the idea of collecting phone numbers left him totally cold.
“Listen, do you want something to eat?” Josh asked. “I didn’t think about it until I was pulling into the parking lot, but maybe I should have stopped for a pizza. Knowing you, you haven’t had anything to eat all day. We could still call in an order.”
The thought of pizza got those butterflies flapping their wings again. He couldn’t think of pizza without remembering the one he’d shared with Molly Saturday night. “That’s okay. I’m not hungry.”
“We can always decide later.” Josh glanced at his watch. “We’ve got an hour before they close.”
Alec forced himself to sit in the armchair across from Josh, although he would rather walk around while he talked. Adrenaline pumped through him.
“This is for the best, man,” Josh said. “I know you don’t think so now, but it is.”
Alec gazed at his friend. He suspected that Josh had talked to Molly and influenced her decision, but he didn’t plan to ask. No doubt Josh thought he was justified. Alec wasn’t about to create more tension by confronting him.
Josh shifted his weight on the cushions. “The main thing is to get back on track, here. Don’t let this throw you. The semester is almost over.”
For me, it’s completely over. But he had something to discuss with Josh before saying that. “I want to talk about your limo business.”
“You mean the one where you’ll do pro bono legal work for me?” Josh grinned.
Alec leaned forward. “I’d rather help you run it, Josh.”
“Run it? You won’t have time for that. The legal advice is one thing, but you wouldn’t be able to—”
“I want to be partners with you. That is, if you’ll have me. I’m a little cash-poor right now, but I’ll do my best to catch up before the day comes when you’re ready to sign on the dotted line. If I’m not quite ready, I’ll float a loan.”
“I don’t get it.” Josh frowned. “I know there’s a bowling alley lawyer on TV, but I can’t picture you running a law practice out of a limo, man.”
“I don’t want to be a lawyer. I want to run a car service, just like you.”
Josh groaned and flopped back on the sofa, almost spilling his beer. “Jesus, Joseph and Mary. I give up. You know, I really give up.”
“Listen to me, Josh.
All these years of school, I’ve—”
“No, I don’t give up, damn it!” Josh jerked forward again, and this time he did slosh beer out of his can and onto the sofa. He didn’t seem to notice as he pointed a finger at Alec. “You are the smartest guy I know! And your folks are so proud of you! I thought your mom was going to needlepoint and frame your S.A.T. scores. And your dad, boy does he want to see you make good. That man—”
“Exactly. I have been in school, trying to find a profession that would make my dad happy. I never stopped to think what would make me happy. And you know what I love?”
Josh rolled his eyes. “You have no idea what you love. You’re so tied up with this woman you can’t think straight.”
“That’s not true, Josh. I’m thinking straight for the first time in my life. I’ve seen how much Molly loves her writing. I met this guy who runs a bookstore, and he might be poor, but God, he’s happy.”
“Poor but happy. Now, there’s a goal.”
“Maybe it is! I love driving. I love meeting new people, people celebrating happy events. How many happy people does a lawyer see in a day?”
Josh blew out a breath. “You’re in it for the bucks, not the yucks.”
“Then that’s the wrong damn reason. I want to be partners with you and own a fleet of limos. We could have a blast.”
Josh sat there slowly shaking his head. “I’ve watched you go from this to that to the other thing for years now, but this is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”
“Does that mean you wouldn’t want me as a partner?” Alec’s shoulders sagged. He could create his own business, of course, but being partners with Josh would be more fun, and then they wouldn’t be in competition with each other.
Josh ran a hand over his face. “No, that’s not what it means. If you were some average-IQ Joe, with all your other endearing traits, I’d be honored to be your partner. But you were meant for greater things.”
“I can’t think of anything greater than doing a job I love and being business partners with a good friend.”
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