by Umm Zakiyyah
“We have a part-time and full-time hifdh program,” the imam had told Aliyah when she had stopped by his office to ask about the Qur’anic memorization programs available for Ibrahim in the fall. “But the best option for a boy as young as your son is the full-time program,” the imam said. “The part-time students are mostly adults, and though Ibrahim is welcome to join, there are more children his age in the full-time program.”
“But what do they do about school?” Aliyah had asked.
“Officially, our full-time hifdh students are homeschoolers,” the imam had said, apology in his tone. “But we do offer basic classes in mathematics, English, and science depending on their grade level. However, we tell our parents not to depend on these classes alone because they won’t cover everything your child is required by law to learn.”
As Aliyah slowed her car to a stop at a traffic light, she glanced toward the passenger seat, where a hifdh school pamphlet lay. Sadness weighed on her as she saw the photo of young children reading Qur’an in the musallaa. Though she was sure Matt would pay the tuition fee for the program, she knew it was unrealistic to imagine that she would have the time and energy to homeschool Ibrahim after she returned from work. Already, with her schedule, he would have to remain at the masjid for at least three hours before she could pick him up after work. Though it was a blessing that the masjid wasn’t far from the college, she couldn’t expect a five-year-old boy to be willing to study school subjects after waiting for her so long. And what would happen when she couldn’t leave work at exactly five o’clock, which happened often?
It could never work, she thought in regret as the traffic light turned green. Unless she could quit her job, or work part-time at the most, enrolling Ibrahim in the full-time hifdh program just wasn’t realistic. She had to pay bills so that they had a roof over their heads, so she should just forget about it.
“The brothers said I read the Qur’an really nice,” Ibrahim said from the backseat, as if on cue.
Aliyah glanced at her son through the rearview mirror and smiled at him with her eyes. “MashaAllah, Himy,” she said. “And maybe one day you’ll know the whole Qur’an without even looking at it.”
“Wow,” Ibrahim said, beaming and grinning. “That would be cool.”
Aliyah forced laughter, her heart warming at how her son found the idea appealing. “Yes, that would be cool, wouldn’t it?”
As Aliyah turned her car onto the street of Benjamin’s house, she heard the distant sounds of excited shouts and laughter, and she saw a line of cars parked in front of his house. She creased her forehead curiously, wondering whom Benjamin and Valerie had invited to the gathering. Aliyah had been under the impression that it would be relatively small and informal.
The sweet scent of barbeque tickled Aliyah’s nostrils, causing her stomach to rumble in hunger as she and Ibrahim walked up the walkway leading to Benjamin’s front door. But as she heard the bustling excitement coming from the backyard, she wondered if it was best to just walk around the house instead of knocking or ringing the doorbell. The front door opened just as she lifted her hand to knock.
“Aliyah and Ibrahim!” Valerie greeted them with a wide smile. “I saw you drive up.”
Aliyah smiled in reply and embraced her aunt warmly, and Ibrahim did the same. “How was your trip?” Aliyah asked as she stepped inside.
“Wonderful,” Valerie said, beaming. “I have to tell you all about it when we get a chance.”
Aliyah glanced around the living room.
“Everyone is out back,” Valerie said over her shoulder as she walked toward the kitchen. “I’ll be out there myself after I finish preparing this chicken.”
“Do you need any help?” Aliyah asked, following her aunt into the kitchen, Ibrahim closely behind her.
Valerie laughed. “Don’t try to escape the excitement on my account,” she said. “Ben has been asking about you for the past two hours.”
It was then that Aliyah had recalled turning off her phone at the masjid after Jasmine had called. She hadn’t wanted to risk any ringers or alerts sounding while she was in the musallaa.
“He was under the impression that you would be here earlier,” Valerie said.
“I’m sorry about that,” Aliyah said, a half smile on her face as she watched Ibrahim approach the open back door then push open the screen door and rush outside. She had agreed to come early and talk to Benjamin and Valerie before the guests arrived and to help prepare for the barbeque, but she had been so distracted by the imam’s talk and wanting to enroll Ibrahim in Qur’an school that she had forgotten.
Valerie waved her hand dismissively and chuckled. “Don’t apologize to me,” she said as she removed a tray of marinated chicken from the refrigerator. “Talk to your uncle.”
An embarrassed smile lingered on Aliyah’s face as she walked toward the back door. “Okay…”
“I’ll be out in a bit,” Valerie said.
Aliyah stood looking out the screen door briefly and saw the edge of the pavement basketball court where it appeared like a group of brothers were in the middle of a game, but she couldn’t see everyone from where she stood.
“As-salaamu’alaikum,” Aliyah heard someone call out as she stepped outside and let the screen door close behind her. She looked in the direction of the sound and saw Mashael approaching, waving a hand, a wide grin on her face. Dressed in a T-shirt and baggy jeans, Mashael looked happier than when Aliyah had last seen her.
Aliyah smiled in surprise. She hadn’t expected to see Mashael here.“ Wa’alaiku-mus-salaam,” she replied once Mashael was in front of her.
“You missed it!” Mashael said, grabbing Aliyah’s hand and pulling her toward where Reem and Salima were sitting on a blanket on the grass.
“Missed what?” Aliyah said, walking quickly to keep up with Mashael.
“As-salaamu’alaikum,” Salima and Reem said in unison, lifting their hands in greeting as Aliyah approached.
“Wa’alaiku-mus-salaam,” Aliyah replied before turning her attention back to Mashael.
“Sheldon said the shahaadah!” Mashael said as she sat down on the blanket and pulled on Aliyah’s hand, urging her to join her.
Aliyah squealed as she sat across from Mashael. “MashaAllah!”
“Can you believe it?” Mashael’s eyes glistened in happiness. “Now we can get married.”
Aliyah’s smile faded only slightly as she tried to maintain a pleasant expression for the sake of Mashael. Given Reem and Mashael’s family, Aliyah doubted that it would be that easy, but she didn’t want to dampen Mashael’s spirits. Mashael’s happiness was so consuming that Aliyah wanted to hold on to this moment, Mashael’s face glowing and her eyes alight. There was plenty of time for reality to set in, Aliyah told herself. It didn’t have to be now.
“When did he say the shahaadah?” Aliyah said, careful to keep the excitement in her voice.
“About an hour ago,” Mashael said, her voice still giddy.
“An hour ago?” Aliyah repeated, her eyes widening in genuine surprise. “How did you find out?”
“Find out?” Mashael said, laughter in her voice. “I was right there when it happened.”
“We all were,” Salima chimed in, a smile of satisfaction on her face. “Except you of course,” she teased Aliyah good-naturedly.
An excited grin still on her face, Aliyah shook her head. “But where?” She stole a glance at Reem, whose gaze was elsewhere, as if she wasn’t particularly excited about joining in the discussion.
“Right over there,” Mashael said, gesturing to a place behind Aliyah.
Instinctively, Aliyah glanced behind her and saw the barbecue grill about ten feet from her, where her uncle stood arranging the coals with a wood-handle spatula.
“At the basketball court,” Mashael added.
Still smiling, Aliyah turned her body so that she could see the basketball court, and Aliyah immediately saw a man with blond hair and a beard with his hands high in the air as he mov
ed from side to side trying to block a shot. But before she could ask Mashael if that was Sheldon, she saw that the man opposite him dribbling the ball was Larry, and feet from him was Jamil, who appeared to be signaling for a pass. Sayed was standing on the sidelines, appearing to be enjoying himself watching the game. And near the basket was Jacob. He was wearing a sleeveless basketball jersey and knee-length shorts.
Aliyah’s breath caught at the sight of him. Cheeks aflame in desire and embarrassment, she looked away and absently noticed that Haroon, Ibrahim, Younus, and Thawab were running through the yard alongside Hana and Muhammad, playing a game that Aliyah couldn’t quite process right then.
“Aliyah, is that you?”
Aliyah glanced toward the sound and saw that her uncle, grill spatula in hand, was gesturing for her to come to him. Still distracted by thoughts of Jacob, Aliyah got to her feet and was careful to avoid looking toward the basketball court as she walked up to her uncle.
“As-salaamu’alaikum,” Aliyah greeted her uncle once she was close enough to feel the heat of charcoal on her face.
“Wa’alaiku-mus-salaam wa-rahmatullaah,” Benjamin said as he set the spatula on a plate on the glass-topped patio table behind him. “Where were you?”
“At the masjid,” Aliyah said, casting her eyes aside in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I lost track of time.”
Benjamin placed the round wire tray back on the grill then closed it. “What were you doing there?”
“I had to meet a sister this morning,” she said, apology in her tone. “But then I ended up staying for Ta’aleem, and—”
“So you’re going to the masjid again now?” Benjamin said, a pleasant expression on his face.
A hesitant smile formed on Aliyah’s face as she met her uncle’s gaze. “Yes, I think so…”
“Alhamdulillah,” Benjamin said, nodding and smiling. “I’m happy to hear that, especially for Ibrahim.”
Aliyah glanced toward her son, who was calling out something to the rest of the children, and she felt happy for him right then.
“He was with you?” Benjamin said.
“Yes,” Aliyah said, her eyes lingering on Ibrahim for a few more seconds. “That’s what took me so long,” she said. “I was trying to find out about their hifdh program.”
Benjamin’s eyes widened in pleasant surprise. “You’re thinking of enrolling him?”
Aliyah’s expression grew serious as she drew in a deep breath and exhaled. “I want to…”
“Then you should,” Benjamin said. “This is the best time to memorize Qur’an, while he’s young.”
“But it’s full-time,” Aliyah said. “And I work.”
Benjamin frowned thoughtfully as he looked briefly in the direction of Ibrahim and the other children. “They don’t have a weekend program?”
“Yes…” Aliyah said tentatively. “But it’s mostly adults, so I don’t know if he’d feel comfortable.”
Benjamin nodded as if in understanding. “I see…” he said. “But it’s better than nothing.”
“I know…” Aliyah said, exhaling the words. “But I really want him to be with children his age.”
“Won’t he be with children his age at school?”
Aliyah grimaced. “But it’ll be public school.”
Benjamin drew his eyebrows together in concern. “You’re not putting Ibrahim in a private school?”
She shook her head. “I can’t afford it.”
“What about Matt?” Benjamin said, his words thinly masking his disapproval. “Won’t he be paying?”
“I don’t know…” Aliyah said. “We haven’t spoken much about it. He didn’t even offer to pay for Ibrahim’s summer childcare.”
“Summer childcare?” Benjamin creased his forehead in confusion. “I thought he was with Nicole during the week.”
Oh. Aliyah hadn’t told her uncle what had happened, she realized just then. “Nikki’s having a difficult pregnancy,” Aliyah said, “so she’s on bed rest now.”
Benjamin shook his head, as if having a difficult time understanding. “But you work full-time.”
Aliyah coughed laughter. “I know… I was thinking the same thing,” she said. “But Matt said it was too stressful for Nikki to have Ibrahim around.”
“Too stressful?” Benjamin said, disapproval on his face. “That’s her stepson.”
Aliyah smiled knowingly and shook her head, but she wasn’t in the mood to rehash the subject. “But alhamdulillah, Larry takes care of Ibrahim for free while I’m at work.”
Benjamin raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “Larry?”
Aliyah laughed and waved her hand. “It’s nothing like that, Uncle Ben,” she said. “Trust me.”
“You sure about that?” Benjamin said doubtfully, folding his arms over his chest. “Larry’s a full-time businessman at his mother’s company. I don’t see how babysitting fits into that.”
“He’s already taking care of Younus and Thawab for Jacob,” Aliyah said. “So it’s not a big deal.”
Benjamin’s expression relaxed somewhat, but it remained doubtful.
“Here we go,” a female voice called out, and Aliyah and Benjamin looked toward the house and saw Valerie coming outside carrying a baking tray of chicken.
Benjamin took the tray from his wife and set it on the patio table as Valerie went back inside.
“I don’t like the idea of Ibrahim going to public school,” Benjamin said as he opened up the grill and peered inside.
Aliyah sighed as her gaze followed her son for a few seconds. “I don’t either…”
“You sure there’s no way you can enroll him in private school?” Benjamin said as he arranged the chicken on the grill. “Or at least the full-time hifdh program you were looking at?”
Aliyah shrugged. “Even if Matt agreed to pay for everything, it’s probably too late to apply for private school at this point. School starts in about four weeks, and those schools usually have waiting lists. Then I’d have to figure out a way to get him to and from school. But with public school, he can take the bus, and there are free after-school programs I can put him in so he’s not just hanging around waiting for me until I finish work.”
“What about the full-time Qur’an school?” Benjamin said. “Even if there’s no after-school program, at least he’s at the masjid amongst Muslims.”
“But then I’d have to homeschool him,” Aliyah said. “And I could never do that while working at the college.” She huffed. “Not to mention helping him review his hifdh on top of that.”
“What if you worked part-time?” Benjamin said, still arranging the chicken on the grill as he talked. “Then we could see how much you’d need to cover your bills after that.”
Aliyah’s eyes widened, and she shook her head. “I couldn’t let you do that.”
“It would be only until I had a talk with Matt,” he said.
She pulled her head back in surprise. “You’re going to talk to Matt?”
“Why not?” Benjamin shrugged. “Ibrahim is his son. He has to be willing to contribute significantly if he expects you to care for him full-time.”
Benjamin was silent momentarily before glancing at Aliyah. “You know people go to court for things like this?”
Aliyah grimaced. “Not me…”
“Then you’ll need someone to speak to him on your behalf.”
She frowned and shook her head. “I don’t feel right about it… Nikki will probably convince him I’m just trying to take advantage of him or something.”
There was a thoughtful pause.
“Then maybe you should go ahead and marry Jacob,” Benjamin said as if it were the most natural solution in the world, his gaze on the chicken he was arranging. “That way, you can be a stay-at-home mom and not worry about work at all.”
It took several seconds for Aliyah to register what her uncle was saying.
“I know you said you wouldn’t be ready for another three to five years,” Benjamin said as he closed
the grill. “But I’m sure Jacob would be willing to wait to live together until then.”
Aliyah coughed laughter. “You can’t be serious,” she said, disbelief in her tone. “Nobody’s going to get married and live separately that long.”
Benjamin regarded Aliyah skeptically. “Would you?”
Aliyah pulled her head back in surprise and pointed to herself. “Me?”
“Yes, why not?” Benjamin said. “It was your idea.”
Aliyah coughed laughter again. “I was talking about getting married period.”
“But I thought the point was you didn’t want to make any drastic changes to your life too soon?”
“That’s true…” Aliyah said tentatively.
“This way, you can do that without the demands of a normal marriage.”
A disbelieving smirk was on her face as she shook her head. “No man would agree to that.”
“I think Jacob would,” Benjamin offered sincerely.
“I don’t think so,” Aliyah said, still smirking. But even to her own ears, she didn’t sound convinced that it was impossible. Instinctively, she glanced to where Jacob was dribbling the ball and running toward the basket, and in that moment, Aliyah remembered the feeling she’d had when she woke up that morning. Had that been some sort of sign from Allah?
“Well, he’s not planning on marrying anyone else,” Benjamin said. “So I think it’s fair to say he’s open.”
“Who told you that?” Aliyah said, unable to temper the flattery and hope she felt swelling in her heart.
“He did,” Benjamin said simply.
Aliyah looked toward the basketball court again, and her heart raced in excitement at the possibility of being married to Jacob while changing little of her life at the same time. “No he didn’t…” she said, hope and doubt in her voice at the same time.
“I’m serious,” Benjamin said. “We spoke about it this morning.”
Aliyah didn’t know what to say.
“He loves you, Aliyah.”
Her cheeks grew warm at her uncle’s words, and she looked away.