“Mornin’, Miss,” the man said, tipping the front of his cowboy hat and leaning against his vehicle. Chestnut hair poked out from around his cowboy hat and framed his tanned face and sharp features. He was of medium build, wiry and thin, with a tough-as-nails exterior. He appeared to be in his thirties, but the sun could have aged him before years of living did.
There didn’t seem to be anyone else around, so I moved a little closer. A massive black horse that was tied to a post pawed the ground. It tossed its neck around and sent clouds of dust into the air. My voice caught in my throat. I surveyed the distance behind me to see if I’d been followed, but the road was clear.
Nervously, I moved toward the man and the horse.
“What brings you out here—?” he started to ask, but then stopped when he got a better look me. I was sure I was quite a sight.
“I’m trying to… get away from…” I was shaking so hard I could barely speak. What the hell was I doing?
The man’s expression changed from curiosity to concern. Regarding me intently, his eyes traveled from my swollen foot to my tear-streaked face. He tensed and seemed to carefully choose his words. “I’m headed home,” he said, then nodded in the direction of the black horse. “Zander over there lost a horseshoe, so I’m pulling him from the rodeo. Figured I’d leave early and beat the traffic.”
I couldn’t imagine what traffic there would be around here. “I really need a ride to town.” I looked behind me again, half dreading and half hoping Luke would be there. But the road was empty.
The cowboy pushed away from his truck and took a few steps closer. Instinct made me back away; he was taller than I’d thought, and his eyes were narrowed on me with an intensity that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. He glanced suspiciously at the road behind me, then at the men’s T-shirt that had fallen off my shoulder again. His expression darkened when I yanked it up and displayed my upper arm, scarred from burns and still badly bruised.
“Which town?” he asked.
“Huh?” I hadn’t thought of that. “Oh, the next one.”
“Okay… are you runnin’ from someone, Miss?” he asked, scanning the dimly lit fields.
I couldn’t answer. All the air left my lungs at the thought of Luke waking to find me gone. He would be hurt and horrified, and Oliver would be in a rage, putting on his shoes and bolting out the door…
“My name’s Ben,” the cowboy said, on edge now, apparently realizing he might have to defend my honor.
I could only stare. The realization of what I was doing almost brought me to my knees.
“You’re safe with me, Miss,” Ben said, opening the passenger door to the truck he’d been leaning on. He gestured me in. “No harm will come to you. On my honor. I’ll give you a ride to town.”
Although something about him was unnerving and rough around the edges, I made the decision to trust him. Besides, wasn’t there some sort of cowboy moral code? This was probably the safest stranger to hitch a ride with.
“Please, get in,” he said with a hint of urgency.
I inched toward the vehicle, the horse tossing its head up and down while the cowboy watched the road. I paused, hand on the seat, casting another glance behind me, half hoping Luke would come out of nowhere and stop me from what I was about to do…because what kind of idiot got into a vehicle with a stranger? Abandons the love of her life?
An idiot who wanted to save those she loved.
“C’mon now, darling. It’s all right,” the cowboy said.
I thought I detected alcohol on his breath, but ignored it. “Thank you,” I croaked, and got in.
In a matter of minutes, Zander was loaded into the trailer. The truck headed away from the parking lot and moved in the opposite direction of the small town of Rosedale. I tried to stay composed, repeating to myself this was the right thing to do, but it felt like I’d ripped my own heart from my chest. The tears flowed in rivers now, threatening to drown me. And I wished they would.
Ben quietly drove, offering me tissues and bottles of water without asking any questions. Every stop sign, every turned corner, and every single mile that passed under the wheels of the truck took me farther away from Luke.
I felt like I was dying.
“Can I get you anything?” Ben asked.
I lifted my head off my knees long enough to see we had pulled up to a gas station. On the door was a sign that said, ‘Live Bait, Fireworks, and Candy’. None of that appealed to me.
“No, thanks.”
I dropped my head back down to hide my pathetic face from him and the sun that was now full in the sky.
“All right,” Ben said.
I had a feeling there was something he wanted to ask me. Instead, he put on his hat and headed into the store. I watched him through puffy, dry eyes. There wasn’t one tear left in my body, but my head throbbed, and my sinuses were packed full. I needed to get to a sink and splash water onto my face to bring down the swelling. Putting my flip-flops on and limping, I wandered to the side of the gas station, grateful the women’s washroom wasn’t locked. I’d heard about public washrooms being gross, but this was worse than I’d imagined. The floor was wet with what I hoped wasn’t pee, the walls were covered in graffiti, and the lone sink barely clinging to the wall was caked with filth. I tried the tap, grateful at least for the water to cool my cheeks and pat against the back my neck. The sink threatened to spill over though, so I turned the water off and straightened up, unfortunately getting a good look at myself in the smudgy mirror. My eyes were a mess, nose red, and there was a look of sadness so heavy on my face it didn’t budge even when I tried a fake smile. Luke’s shirt hung off my shoulders and when I tugged it up, I got a whiff of him on it. I had to steady myself against the sink.
It was imperative I pull myself together and not think about Luke. Not here.
I assessed exactly what I had. Which, after counting the cash I’d stolen from Oliver’s wallet, was only eighty bucks. What was I going to do? I could buy some food, but I didn’t think I had enough to get a room for the night. I would have to take a bus somewhere…but where? Where would I go? I had no one.
When I left the washroom, Ben was gone. The gas pump he’d parked the truck next to was vacant and the parking lot was empty. Now, besides feeling dead inside, I was scared to death. I didn’t even know how to contact Luke or Oliver if I needed them. The full-on reality I was alone with nothing but eighty bucks and an empty stomach became all too real. I stood, staring across the street to where there was another gas station, a bunch of semi-trucks, and past that, nothing else. Rolling hills and miles upon miles of pasture surrounded this remote pit stop. When a car pulled in front of me with a license plate that said ‘Wisconsin,’ I realized I had absolutely no idea if I was even in Alberta. When the woman driving the car got out and protectively clutched her child’s hand after eyeing me suspiciously, I felt even more wretched.
After I wandered away from the gas station, I headed toward the highway, leaving the paved area and not caring about the weeds and thorns attacking my ravaged feet. I didn’t know what to do. Maybe I would just go and lay down in the middle of the highway. Get it over with. Let the wheels of one of those rolling beasts end this horrid feeling of despair. What did it matter if I lived? The only thing I wanted, the only person who mattered to me, I couldn’t have. I had nothing. Nothing and no one.
A hand grabbed my shoulder. I froze. My heart jumped into my chest.
“Hey, you, I’m just parked around the corner over there. Had to check on the horse. Did ya think I left ya?”
Ben.
I gathered my breath. When I turned to face him, his eyes widened. Maybe he recognized my brief desire to end it all. He regarded me thoughtfully, taking a moment to find what he wanted to say.
“Don’t let ‘em win,” he said after a very long moment.
Those words stopped me from fully submerging into the depths of the lowest point in my life. No. I wouldn’t let them win. I wouldn’t do Rayn
a and John Marchessa a favor by doing their dirty work for them.
“C’mon back to the truck with me,” Ben said, trying to be lighthearted. “I got you a Gatorade. It’s good for replenishing salts after… crying. And the store had fresh-baked muffins. Figured you might like blueberry.”
His kindness pulled me back to earth. Grounded me. Ben had wandered across the weeds and thorns. He hadn’t left me. Although I didn’t know him, I at least felt I wasn’t alone. For some reason, that meant everything.
The cowboy had saved my life. And I was sure tired of needing saving.
I felt my eyes well up again.
“It’s okay if you don’t like blueberry. I got chocolate and raspberry, too.” He put out his hand, reaching carefully for me as if I were an easily spooked horse. “There’s nothing around here but these two gas stations, Miss,” he said. “At least let me get you to the next town so you can call somebody. Okay?”
Call somebody…
Ben’s fingers wrapped around mine. He gently led the way back to the truck, me in such a daze I barely even registered the fact my legs were moving. I was safely belted in to the passenger seat. Gatorade, three kinds of muffins, and a T-shirt that said ‘Rolling Meadows Farms’ was placed on my lap. I tried to thank him, but my voice was so heavy with emotion it was nothing more than a whisper. With a nod and a tip of his hat, he fired up the truck and headed back onto the highway. I closed my eyes as soft air and country music filled the cab. When Hank Williams came on the radio pouring his heart into “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry,” Ben quickly turned off the song and gave me a friendly pat on the head.
Luke,
I’m leaving, and I don’t want you to try to find me. It’s over between us. You betrayed me, and you are not the man I thought you were. I don’t love you, and I am moving on. You should do the same.
P.S. I have not forgotten my promise; I will make Henry pay for what he did to your family.
I folded the note and shoved it back into my pocket. I’d read it a hundred times, yet I had to confirm I was living my worst nightmare.
My heart was in my feet.
“Apparently the guy with the trailer is named Ben,” Oliver said, jogging back to me over what he claimed were Kaya’s tracks on the dusty road. “He was supposed to compete last night in the rodeo, but was disqualified for some reason. The woman I talked to doesn’t have a last name, but thinks the horse’s name is Kander, Zander, or something like that.”
“Well, that’s great. He should be easy to find. There can’t be that many dudes named Ben with horses around here,” I said sarcastically.
Oliver had used his bloodhound skills to track Kaya from the motel to this small holding lot where a few couples were getting ready to head back to the rodeo. My nightmare had gotten much worse if Kaya was in a truck with a stranger, going to who-the-hell-knew where. I felt sick.
“At least we’ve got something to go on,” Oliver said. He was completely removed from all emotion, purely focused on the task at hand—finding his ex-fiancée. Sweating profusely even though the air was still cool, he tugged at the collar of his shirt. “Let’s head to that rodeo in Larkspur. If Ben was competing there, someone will know him. Now we’ve got a bit of a lead, we gotta get on it fast.”
“Yeah,” I said sullenly, glued to a weathered fence post. Everything around me—the massive expanse of land between the towns, the endless stretch between cities, the countless gravel roads that led to more gravel roads—made finding Kaya seem impossible.
“Let’s go, Luke,” Oliver said. He sounded impatient, a foot from me but not meeting my eyes.
“You read the note, Oliver. She doesn’t want to be found.”
“Oh, get your head out of your ass,” Oliver said, tone gruff. “Regardless of what that note says, we have to find her. If we don’t, someone else will and she’ll end up dead. Is that what you want?”
“No, of course not.”
“Me neither. So man up. Unfortunately, we’re stuck together, and if I have to look at your defeated, woe-is-me face for one more second, I’m gonna smack it right off your shoulders.”
We knew that would never happen, but I’d give him an A for effort. He was right about one thing, though. I had to get myself together. Regardless of the note, I needed to find her. Then, when she said she didn’t want me to my face, I’d leave for good. I’d walk away.
Yeah, right.
How the hell would I do that? How could I possibly tear myself away from her? She was everything. My entire world, my life. From the moment I first saw her, I’d known, and every second with her after only confirmed it tenfold. At one point, Oliver had felt the same. Or still felt the same. I couldn’t imagine how he was still functioning after she’d displayed such hatred toward him. How had he walked away from her back at that ranch house?
Oh, right. He hadn’t. He followed her—us—and dedicated his every waking moment to her safety.
I was screwed.
Straightening up, I took off down the road after him.
“And you can keep the shirt,” he said, glancing back at me. “I probably wouldn’t get the smell of lowlife kidnapper out of it anyway.”
“Lowlife?” That stopped me dead in my tracks.
Oliver halted, turning to stare me down. He wanted to fight, and what a perfect place to do it—out in the middle of nowhere. We could muster up every bit of jealousy and rage we had toward each other and set it free… But it wouldn’t do either of us any good.
I took in a few deep breaths and counted to ten, not wanting to hurt the only person who could help me find Kaya. Oliver’s chest heaved, just waiting for an invitation to hit the go button. His dark eyes shone beneath a small cut on his forehead from where I’d hit him last night. His hands curled expectantly into fists, and the skin of his arms stretched tight over his ridiculously oversized biceps. Everything about him—from his posture and clenched jaw to the look of hatred on his face—was a cover up. He was a crumbling emotional mess just as much as I was. In fact, probably even more so.
“Listen, I’m sorry, Oliver,” I said. “I wouldn’t wish the heartache of losing someone you love on anyone. Even you. It really sucks.”
Oliver started. He’d been expecting a different reaction. “Ah. You’re getting a taste of your own medicine there, aren’t ya? Except, your girl wasn’t taken from you. She left of her own free will.”
Keeping my composure, I looked him square in the eye, hoping he’d feel the honesty in my apology. “I know. And again, I am so very sorry for that.”
The base of Oliver’s throat moved with a heavy gulp and his jaw relaxed slightly. We stared each other down while bees buzzed around us, the wheat swayed in the breeze, and a mutual understanding momentarily suspended our hatred.
My apology was accepted with a slight nod. “Just get moving, golden boy,” Oliver said gruffly. “We aren’t going to find her standing here.”
The town of Larkspur was a maze of barns, pens, and corrals stuffed full of people and animals. A large outdoor arena contained the most action as the crowd cheered for the dudes chasing down steers on horseback with ropes and incredible determination. I’d never seen so many cowboy boots in one place, and finally understood the appeal of them when my flat-soled boots became caked with muck.
Oliver and I scoured every corner, wandering past the action into a field where masses of trailers and trucks were parked. We searched the washrooms, the stands, the empty bleachers, the backs of vehicles—every corner of the place. Then we started asking questions. We quickly got nowhere. The sun was sinking low in the sky. Tired and sick of each other, we sat defeated on a bench in the arena while the announcer’s voice boomed through the speakers. Oliver was scarfing down food while I bit my lip to keep from screaming Kaya’s name at the top of my lungs.
“How can you eat right now?” I asked. Oliver was downing his third cheese-covered hot dog.
He wiped mustard from his mouth with the back of his hand. “Maybe you should try it.
Eating, that is. When’s the last time you put food in ya?”
Did I detect a hint of concern? I shrugged my shoulders. It had been a day or so, but I wasn’t hungry. Nothing was appealing when my stomach was tied up in knots. “Maybe those prints we found weren’t hers,” I said miserably. “Maybe she caught a bus, hitchhiked out of town, or—”
“No,” Oliver said firmly. “She left with that guy. With Ben.”
“That could have been any girl. The couple saw a young brunette climbing into a white truck with a cowboy they thought might possibly be named Ben, with a horse that might have been named Lander…”
“Zander,” Oliver corrected.
“Whatever. The girl they saw could have been anybody. I think we should go back, question everyone we can find, and see if we missed something.”
“No.”
“Good Lord, Oliver. You could be wrong. She could be—”
“Damn it, kid,” Oliver growled, turning to face me, “I know her! You think because you spent a few weeks with her that you do? She would’ve started running without thinking things through. She knows how to survive in the wild, so instinct would have her head away from civilization. And then, when she realized she was all alone, she would have freaked out and searched for someone who could look after her. Now, you wanna go back to that town and waste your time digging for clues, then you go right ahead. I’m saying she left with the cowboy, and we are going to find him, starting right here.”
I stared at my feet, fuming and trying to keep it together. Oliver tossed away the remainder of the hot dog, then reached into his pocket for a tube of pills. He popped some in his mouth and munched them violently while the loudspeaker announced an extensive list of competitors for the next event.
I was going to lose my mind.
“I can’t sit here a second longer,” I said. Oliver’s implication I didn’t know Kaya wasn’t sitting right along with the echo of her words from the note. “I’m going back to that motel to search the room and—”
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