by Melissa Huie
“I’m not going to screw this up again, Megs. I promise,” he said with conviction, looking at me with hope-filled eyes.
“I know.”
He heaved a sigh of relief and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me as close as baby ball would allow.
The rest of the day went by better than the morning. We stayed in and finished up the leftover brunch snacks. I brought him up-to-speed on what’s been going on with the Cartel. With Reggie, Christian’s cousin and the Cartel’s lead enforcer, gone and half of his crew arrested or dead, the Cruz Cartel was no longer a real threat. Tommy said that Christian was more concerned about his rivals gaining ground on their turf than getting revenge. Shane listened carefully, absorbing all that he had missed. He was void of emotion, until I told him what happened at Deep Creek Lake.
His jaw clenched and his hands curled into fists while I spoke of how the Cartel crashed into the SUV Tommy, Kate, and I were riding in and the fire-fight that broke out immediately afterward. Shane jumped in rage, fury rolling off his body when I whispered that had I shot and killed Reggie. He stalked around the room like a caged animal desperate to go after its prey.
“I knew something like this was going to happen. I fucking knew it. I swear, Megs. I will make them pay for that. I will slit their fucking throats,” he growled. The vengeance in his voice made me flinch. Even though it gave me sort of a thrill to hear that, the knowledge of him being able to … terrified me.
“Look. It’s over now. I’m fine. We’re safe.” I stood and wrapped my arms around his waist. He closed his eyes and cradled my head in his huge, calloused hands.
“I know. But I can’t help it. You’re the most important thing in my life. The fact that I wasn’t there, protecting you, breaks me. I did a fucked-up job protecting you before, I’m not going to let that happen again,” he said with resolve. Not knowing what else to say, I hugged him tighter and prayed he wouldn’t have to try.
Chapter 3
Sunlight on my face woke me the next morning. I rolled over and looked at the man beside me lying face down beside me. My gaze trailed up from the small of his back, past the colorful dragons and serpents etched into his skin, to the rigid muscles in his back. I wanted to touch him, to let him know I was there, but his response yesterday warned me against it.
Not a day went by that I didn’t dream about Shane. That one day he would come home to us. I imagined that our days would be filled with talking and reconnecting. Our nights would be full of hot, sweaty sex. However, things weren’t going the way I imagined. Baby steps, Megan. He just needs to adjust. I couldn’t change what happened and we would have to take things in stride. We can’t be the same couple we once were, not overnight.
I got up, shrugged on my bathrobe and shuffled down stairs. I called Uncle Bob at the law office where I worked to remind him that I had a doctor’s appointment that afternoon and decided to take the entire day off. Right away, Bob assumed the worst. I quickly reassured him that it was purely a routine checkup and that I was feeling fine. After calming his nerves, I hung up the phone and felt a pang of guilt for not telling him about Shane. Uncle Bob had been instrumental in signing a plea agreement with the FBI and getting Shane into protective custody. He thought of Shane as his son and was completely devastated when we learned that Shane’s safe house had been bombed. I brushed aside the guilt and pulled out eggs and fruit from the fridge. It’s only a matter of time before everyone learns Shane’s back and for now I needed to heed his request to keep his homecoming a secret.
I let Penny outside and had just cracked the eggs into the pan when Shane sauntered into the kitchen. I glanced over my shoulder and let out a soft gasp. His brown hair glistened from the shower, curling around his studded ears. Grey sweatpants hung low on his hips. His wire-rimmed glasses looked out of place on a man with tribal symbols and dragons inked over his sculpted chest and abs. The man was pure sex, no doubt about it. My voiced hitched as I managed to say, “Good morning, baby.”
“Good morning,” he said, his voice still thick with sleep. He wrapped his muscular arms around my belly from behind me, the evidence of his arousal pressed against the small of my back. My breath caught and my heart quickened as he nuzzled the sensitive spot under my ear. Just this one simple act had my core pulsing with liquid heat. His hands roamed north, barely grazing my belly, and tenderly kneading my swollen breasts. Moaning, I tilted my head up toward his and caught his searing lips with mine.
Abandoning the pan in front of me, I turned and threw my arms around his neck. Passion fueled my body as our lips frantically mashed together. Our tongues clashed, dueling over the right to invade each other’s mouth. Shane’s hands cupped my behind, gripping hard as he led me over to the table. Pausing to sweep aside the napkins and papers that covered it, he lifted me onto the smooth surface.
Red colored my vision as primal need took over. Shane pulled off my bathrobe at the same moment I yanked down his sweatpants. My mouth watered at the size of his erection and I eagerly stroked his throbbing, rigid shaft. His eyes rolled back and he groaned at my touch. There is a time for cuddling and foreplay, but this wasn’t it. Hazel eyes smoldering, he desperately ripped the thin material of my cotton underwear right out from under me. Craving his touch, his body, his heat against mine, I leaned back on my elbows, giving him the opening he wanted.
Without hesitation, Shane plunged his engorged cock into me. I was ready for him and gasped a ragged breath as he slid against my inner walls. My body clearly remembered his, reliving each plunge and pull. He angled his hips, hitting the right spot with each thrust and leaned forward to gently nibble the hollow of my neck. My thighs wrapped around him, clenching him to me as he gripped my hips. He let out a guttural groan and buried his cock so deep inside me he filled me more than I’d ever been before. I reached up and clung to his shoulders and hung on as I exploded.
With a final jerk, Shane’s body went limp and his legs trembled slightly. He brushed his lips against my jaw-line and murmured, “I love you so much.”
I was about to respond when I sniffed the air. What the hell? Is something burning? I glanced over his shoulder and saw smoke rising off the pan.
“Oh shit, the eggs!” I cried, untangling my legs from around his waist. Shane laughed and pulled up his pants. He walked the five feet to the stove and turned off the burner. Steam filled the air and the pan sizzled when he tossed it into the sink full of water.
“I hope you weren’t craving eggs,” he joked, as he helped me down from the table.
“Nope. I’m feeling pretty satisfied right now,” I replied with a smile.
Shane chuckled, and then a worried look came over his face. “I didn’t hurt you, did I? I mean, the baby ….”
“No, the baby’s fine. In fact she’s moving around now. Here, feel her,” I said gently, putting his hand on our daughter’s thumping rump. His eyes grew wide as he felt her kick for the first time.
“That’s so damn cool.” The smile he gave me would be one I would remember for my entire life.
“Yes it is. Until she’s sitting on my bladder or kicking the crap out of my windpipe,” I quipped. I reached up and smooched him on the lips. “And I love you, too.” Shane wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.
We stood there, basking in the aftermath of our table session. All the worry and negative thoughts went away and I had a fleeting fantasy that our lives were back to normal. Reality came crashing down when he reluctantly released me.
“What’s on tap for today?” He asked, returning our conversation back to the present and pouring himself some coffee.
A little jumbled from my fall from euphoria, I shook the cobwebs out of my brain. The reintroduction to amazing sex had definitely messed with my head.
“I have a doctor’s appointment at one, if you’d like to come,” I offered, but knowing his need for solitude, I didn’t press the suggestion.
Shane shook his head. “I would love to, but I’m not too crazy for public places
right now. Especially when I don’t know what’s going on with Reggie’s crew.” Trying to reassure him would be futile, so I nodded my acceptance.
Sensing my disappointment, he tried to apologize, but I cut him off.
“It’s okay. I totally understand. I’m not upset. I’ll record the appointment, so it will be as if you were there. Besides, I have to take a glucose test, so there’s no point in you sitting around with me for an hour,” I had soothed him by changing the subject. I didn’t want him to feel pressured into venturing out when he was not ready to. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure yet. I was thinking about going into the shed and tinkering with the bike. Wait, is the bike still in there? And where’s my truck?”
I burst out laughing at his concern. “Adrian, like the great friend he is, has been taking wonderful care of it. Especially since I can’t get my preggo self into the cab. And your bike is in the shed, awaiting your return. I couldn’t bear to part with it.”
Relief that his pride and joy was still around was evident in his face. I smiled as I poured two bowls of cereal and handed them to Shane. We sat at the table and idly chatted about how well the Baltimore Ravens’ were doing. But despite the casual and light conversation, I knew he wasn’t fully engaged. His leg jiggled in trepidation and his gaze darted between both entry ways, as if waiting for the signal to run. It was all I could do not to hold him and tell him that we were fine.
Having him home was my dream come true. It was a freaking miracle. But it’s a constant reminder of the hell we went through and the danger that may be ahead. The lead in my stomach gave me the uneasy feeling that something was going to happen, and this was the best I could wish for. I hope for all our sakes, that feeling is wrong.
Chapter 4
I left Shane watching ESPN and went upstairs to get ready. While drying off from my shower, I contemplated how to ease Shane back into the public life. We could only avoid my mother and brother for so long, and soon the holidays will be here. How long could this go on? Penny’s sharp bark and a shout from downstairs caused me to jump, almost slipping on the wet floor. What the hell is going on? I quickly threw on my robe and hustled down the stairs.
I watched in horror as Shane and Tommy wrestled on the ground, pummeling each other. “What the fuck is going on? Stop it right now! What the hell, Tommy? Why are you here?”
Breathing heavily, Tommy stood up, a trickle of blood coming out of his nose. “Making sure you’re not dead on the floor Megan. I went by your office and you weren’t there.”
Shane, unscathed and furious, snorted. “So that gives you the right to just walk in?”
“Megan didn’t show up for work, her phone went straight to voicemail, and no one answered the door. What the hell would you think? I have a key so I can make sure she’s okay,” Tommy said with disgust. He straightened his suit jacket and gave me the raised eyebrow. “I see you’re okay.”
I closed the gap in my robe and stood closer to Shane. “Yeah, I’m fine. I was in the shower. I didn’t realize you were looking for me. ”
Shane scoffed. “You don’t have to explain yourself to him.” I quickly jabbed him in the ribs with my elbow and shot him a look. “What? You don’t!”
“Shane— Stop. As you can see Tommy, everything’s fine.”
Tommy shook his head. “No shit. I can see that now. Imagine my surprise when I walk in and get punched in the face by a ghost. I thought you were dead, man.”
The look he gave Shane was hard to read. Was Tommy happy to see Shane alive? Shane’s body tightened and his eyes blazed. “Obviously the motherfuckers failed.”
“Thank you Captain Obvious. What the hell happened out there? Don’t get me wrong; I’m glad you’re alive. But we searched that area inch by inch. Bodies were everywhere. How the fuck did you escape?”
Shane’s eye twitched and he clenched his fist. Fearing another explosion, I immediately stood between them.
“Do we have to do this? Shane just got home. Let’s not do an extensive interrogation right now. Please Tommy,” I said in a low voice. The last thing I needed was Shane to go Rambo-style on Tommy for asking questions he wasn’t ready to answer.
“I can’t just let this go. We need to bring him in for questioning. Agents died out there; they died protecting him. We need to know what happened and what he saw.”
“And you’ll get your chance. Just not right now. If he goes with you, then who the hell knows when I’ll see him again.” I stood firm, raising my chin to meet Tommy’s glaring green eyes.
Tommy threw up his hands with a growl. “You have until eight tomorrow morning. Not one minute longer. I mean it, Megan. Shane better be at the office no later than eight. One minute later and I’m putting out a warrant for his arrest.”
He brushed past us, knocking his shoulder into Shane as he stalked out the kitchen door. Shane scowled at Tommy’s retreating figure, his fists clenched and ready to drop Tommy to the floor. I quickly shut the door and gently pushed Shane back.
“Well, that was exciting,” I quipped nervously. I shuffled through the kitchen and into the living room toward the stairs when Shane’s voice stopped me.
“Why does he have a key, Megan? Is there something I need to know?”
Incredulously, I whipped around. “Really? We’re going to go through this again? Fine, let’s do this. He’s my friend, Shane. He’s been there for me for the last four months when I was going through hell. Gee, why was I going through hell? Because some deranged drug Cartel was hunting me down; because I killed a man in self-defense. Because everyone said you were dead and I couldn’t imagine going on without you. That’s why he has a key. He saved our lives, Shane, more times than I care to count.”
“And he’s also your ex-fiancé. He loved you once. Shit, probably still loves you. I’m sure that bastard thought nothing more of moving back into my place.”
“And what? You think that I gave up on you that easily? That the death of my soul mate was so easy to get over that I hopped in bed with the first man who didn’t want to kill me? Are you fucking kidding me right now? Do you hear the bullshit that is coming of your mouth?” Disbelief surpassed the overwhelming rage that was flowing through my veins. Seriously? Is this really happening?
I cut him off as soon as he opened his mouth. “I have to get going. We’ll talk about this more when I get back.” I hurried up the stairs, leaving him to stew in my wake.
I fumed while I dried my long, dark brown hair, going over every bit of the conversation. Is this going to happen every time Tommy comes over? Is Shane going to think there is some ulterior motive? Briefly, my mind flitted back two months ago, when I felt the baby kick for the first time. Tommy’s words, his plea to be the baby’s daddy and that he would take care of us forever, echoed in my ears. There was no way I would tell Shane about that. There was no point in doing so. I made my feelings about that abundantly clear to Tommy that day and told him bluntly that Shane would always be her daddy and that no one would ever take his place.
After searching through clothes that couldn’t accommodate my ever-growing belly, I finally settled on a pair of maternity jeans and a long-sleeved brown tee shirt. I slipped on my brown flats and walked down to the kitchen, only stopping when I saw Shane waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.
“I keep screwing this up. I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t like Tommy. I don’t trust the bastard, especially after all the shit that’s gone down. Call it jealousy, call it a pissing match, call it whatever. It bothers the heck out of me that he was there for you when I wasn’t. And it kills me that you almost married that douche.”
Shane took my hand, leading me down the last two steps. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips to my forehead. I sighed, my eyes closed tightly. I wanted to understand, to let this little incident gloss over. But the mistrust hurt way too much.
“Okay,” I whispered, my voice strained. Suddenly, exhaustion came over me. The stress from the day’s eve
nts overwhelmed me. I needed time to think, to distance myself from the drama. The shit hasn’t even hit the fan yet—and I’m already done with it. The potential fire-storm that was brewing gave me heartburn, and not the normal pregnancy-induced kind, either.
“Megs …” Shane started.
I gently slipped out of his arms. “I have to get going. I have to … to deal with this my own way. But please understand this. As much as I love you, as much as I have your back and will do anything I can for you, I can’t just push Tommy away now that you’re home. Tommy is my friend, nothing more, and will remain so. You’re going to have to try and tolerate him. I’m not asking for a ‘BFF bromance.’ Just tolerance.” I lightly pecked his cheek. “I’ll be back in a couple hours.”
He nodded, his expression twisted in guilt. Grabbing my purse and jacket from the mudroom, I hurried out the door to my car and wiped away the tears of frustration as I drove away.
Chapter 5
Once I arrived at the medical center, the attending nurse took my vitals then sent me to the lab to drink the vile, disgustingly sweet concoction that would test my blood sugar for pregnancy-induced diabetes. With an hour to wait before my appointment, the last couple of days surfaced in my mind. Shane has definitely changed into someone I didn’t completely recognize. Granted, we had both been through a difficult time, but his attitude and demeanor baffled me. Has he always been this insecure? Did he really think I would be with Tommy?
With the thoughts colliding in my head, I worked myself into a frenzy, letting my doubts and fears overwhelm me. Would we make it? Would he be able to come to grips with everything that’s happened? I was startled from my thoughts by April, the attending nurse, calling my name.