by Melissa Huie
I had Katie strapped into her car seat by the time Shane thundered down the stairs. He threw on some baggie cargo jeans and a blue short-sleeve button down shirt, leaving it untucked to cover the bulge of the handgun in his waist band.
“Really? You’re bringing a handgun to the pediatrician’s office?” I shot at him, picking up the heavy carrier and walking out to my SUV. Shane ignored me and climbed into driver’s seat, removing the Glock from his pants and putting it under the seat. We drove the twenty minutes to Dr. Baig’s office in Edgewater in strained silence. In fact, we didn’t speak to each other during the visit either. If Dr. Baig noticed the tension, he didn’t mention it.
With a diagnosis of a virus and prescriptions for an ointment and a probiotic in hand, I had just secured the car seat and got into the car when Shane turned to face me. I steeled myself for a confrontation.
“I’m going to say this, for the last time. And then I’m done talking about it. You and Katie are my life; I will not lose you to the Cartel. Yes, I know it’s frustrating to have to stay at the farm. Yes I know how much you want to go back to work, and how you want your old life back. But your old life is gone. You need to quit your damn whining and let me do what I need to do to protect you,” he said quietly, almost ominous sounding.
“I made one fucking comment, Shane. One suggestion about going on vacation, like normal people do. I don’t take for granted what you or Kyle or Cole have done for this family. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel and dammit, I’m not ashamed to be looking for a time when I’m not running in fear. I have not once whined about staying where we are, but I have made my opinion quite clear on what you do when you’re not at home. I hate that you go out looking for trouble, that you go out cruising the streets with your boys in search of someone that will get you killed,” I shot back, fury fueling my words.
“I’m doing what I have to do to keep this family safe!” Shane bellowed, causing me to jump. A millisecond later, Katie’s cries permeated the vehicle. “Fuck!” Shane growled.
“Really Shane? Jesus Christ, can you be any more of an asshole?” I jumped out of car and flung the back door open, and reached in to un-hitch the car seat. I placed the seat gently on the sidewalk, then I walked over to the driver side window. “Just fucking go. You obviously need a time out and I don’t want deal with your bullshit right now. I’ll call Kyle for a ride.”
“Fine,” Shane replied with a hiss. His anger darkened his hazel eyes. He threw my SUV into drive and peeled out of the parking lot onto Mayo Road.
Tears prickled behind my eyes as I rooted through the diaper bag for my phone. Luckily Kyle’s precinct was right down the road.
“Hey Kyle, can you do me a huge favor?” I asked my baby brother when he answered the phone.
Five minutes later, I had Katie safely secured into the squad car and we were driving back down Muddy Creek Road. Kyle was furious that Shane would leave me at the doctor’s office unprotected.
“Come on Kyle, it’s not like the Cartel is able to follow every movement I make. Like they’d really be staking out the pediatrician’s office, on the off chance Katie would have diaper rash and diarrhea.”
“I know, but for someone who was hell bent on making sure you’re safe, he looks like the biggest dumbass for just leaving you behind.” Kyle’s stare focused on the road.
“I know. We’re all getting a bit antsy. We’ve been at each other’s throats lately,” I whispered sadly. I knew we just needed to get past this whole Cartel business, but at what cost? I felt our relationship spiraling downward.
We pulled into the long driveway. Mom and Aunt Nancy were sitting on the front porch, waiting for us thanks to my quick text message explaining what happened. Cole’s beat up truck sat off to the side.
“Where’s Shane?” Mom asked.
“He didn’t come back?” Worried thoughts swirled around my head, but I pushed them aside. He’s probably letting off some steam.
“Nope. Cole just came by, said that he has a new message from Kate,” Mom replied, while I unloaded Katie from the car. Mom took the car seat out of my hands and brought her inside. We followed her into the house, the solid oak floors echoing our footsteps. Kyle went straight for the massive kitchen in the back while Mom, Aunt Nancy and I headed into the family room.
“What did Dr. Baig say?” Mom asked, pulling a sleeping Katie out of her seat.
I fell into the oversized couch and curled my feet underneath me. “He said it’s just a virus. He gave me a prescription for an ointment and a probiotic and said for us to give her Tylenol for the fever. He also said we can start her on solids now. Bananas will help.”
“That makes sense.” She laid Katie on the couch and deftly changed her diaper like a pro, adding some of the soothing ointment. Katie didn’t even blink, she was so tired. “Now, what happened with Shane?”
I explained what was said earlier and the issues we were having. The house wasn’t huge, so I knew she overheard our arguments. She agreed that any relationship under this amount of stress would fracture.
“You two need some time away, to sort everything out. To be a couple. You’ve had this death threat over your heads for your entire relationship. No wonder you’re at odds with each other,” Mom said gently.
Aunt Nancy agreed. “Why don’t you two go away for the upcoming weekend? Just go to the beach for some fun in the sun, it doesn’t have to be far. Uncle Bob has a house in Ocean City. Why don’t you talk to him about using that?”
Their suggestions sounded great, but I didn’t want to leave Katie behind. And did I really want to be with Shane, for those three days by myself? I mean, yeah it would be great to spend time with him, but would we fight the entire time?
“I don’t know, Mom. I don’t know if I want to leave Katie while she’s sick. And I don’t want to leave you unprotected,” I ventured. But Mom pish-poshed my concern.
“Katie will be fine. But if you’re worried, we’ll have Kyle and Sarah stay here with us.”
Kyle walked into the family room, carrying a plate piled high with sandwiches and chips. “Why are we staying here?”
Mom raised her eye brows at the plate. “Please tell me you didn’t use the last of the ham. I was planning to make ham and bean soup with that.”
Kyle smiled sheepishly. “I only used a small bit. The rest is turkey and chicken. But don’t sidetrack me. Please tell me why my wife and I are moving in?”
Aunt Nancy spoke up, “Megan and Shane need some time away. If Kate and Cole think we need someone armed in the house, then you can come stay with us.”
Mom waved her hand at the notion. “Armed person my ass. I know my way around a firearm. But if you’d feel better, we’d love to have you both here. I haven’t spent much time with you two lately. It would be nice to catch up.”
The look of dread on Kyle’s face had me in stitches. “You know, a few days at the beach sound great. I think Cole would be fine here, you know the boy can’t cook worth a darn and it would give you an excuse to drive someone else … er … I mean, care for someone new,” Kyle interjected.
Mom gave him a knowing look. “I don’t care who goes or stays, we just need to make sure all our bases are covered. Nancy and I can take care of Katie,” she stood up with my now awake baby and stalked off toward the kitchen.
“You’re such a wimp,” I whispered to Kyle.
“Oh please. What did I tell you last time? I like my marital benefits. We’re still in the honeymoon phase, meaning we still hump like rabbits. Do you honestly think I could get it up with Mom in the next room?”
I burst out laughing. “Oh lordy. I don’t want to know!”
“But for real. If we need to cool our jets for three days, I’m sure we could. But before you all go traipsing off into the sunset, let’s double-check with Tommy and Kate, to get their take on the situation. With all these arrests lately, this may be the prime time to get away.”
*****
Shane didn’t come home unti
l after dinner. With barely a wave, he wordlessly walked straight up to the bedroom.
“Oh boy. Wish me luck,” I muttered to Mom. Picking up Katie as my shield, I walked upstairs and to find him sitting on the bed.
“Hey,” I said softly. I made myself appear busy by changing the baby’s diaper.
“Hey.” Yeah, this is going to be a struggle.
“Are we going to talk about what happened?” I asked gently, sitting next to him, putting Katie on the bed between us.
“What’s there to talk about? I can’t do anything about it. We’re constantly at each other’s throats. I’m not happy here; neither are you. What more can we do aside from sit on our collective asses and waiting for the whole thing to die down?” he retorted, running his hand through his short hair.
“I don’t know. But we have to do something before it reaches the point of no return. We can’t just stay like this . . . Not for much longer.”
“I know.”
I traced my finger along the rough skin of his knuckles. I love how he worked with his hands. Calloused and firm, his hands fixed machines and created magic in the bedroom. I missed that magic. “No other relationship could endure what we’ve gone through; we have to be strong. But we both have to try. If it’s only one of us, then there ends up being resentment,” I whispered.
“Yeah.” Seriously, what the fuck is with all these simple answers? I wanted to scream, shout, do something to get his attention and get him to show something, some other emotion than brooding.
“We need to get back to being Shane and Megan, the couple. Maybe if we go away for the weekend, we can get things back on track.”
Shane didn’t respond, so I gripped his hand. “Shane. I need to know what you’re thinking. Please talk to me,” I begged.
“It’s not that I don’t love you. I do, God I do. But I have this feeling in my stomach that we’re fighting a losing battle. That everything we’ve tried to protect and to save will be for nothing in the end,” he said somberly.
A hysterical sob rose up in my throat as I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into me, pressing Katie between us. “Don’t think that. Please don’t think that. We’re tough, you and me. We’re going to get through this. There’s no if, ands, or buts about it. We hit a rough patch, that’s it. We’ll get through this bull shit,” I swore through my tears, but he was stoic. “Shane, dammit listen to me. You told me you trekked across the country to find me; you risked your life for me. We have a kid together. You better believe I’m in it for the long haul. Don’t fucking think that we’re not going to be anything other than fine.”
Tears shone in Shane’s eyes and he looked at me sadly. “I’m scared out of my mind that I can’t protect you. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t see a vision of you, dead. That our entire family – dead. And it’s all my fault.” My heart dropped. The finality of his tone worried me than his words. It was as if it was a foregone conclusion. He exhaled a broken gasp. “Baby, the Cartel tortured women in front of me. They raped women right in front of me, to get me to crack. They would call those women by your name, to fuck with my head. And Baby, they did. My mind is a hundred ways fucked up.”
I pushed the nauseating thought away. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because the moment I saw you, I saw the life in your eyes. I didn’t want to scare you or make the situation between us even worse. You were alive. And that’s all that mattered.”
I leaned forward, so our foreheads touched. “I don’t know what to say.”
Shane gave a shaky chuckle. “I don’t know what to say either.”
I kissed him gently on the lips. “I shouldn’t have brought up the vacation. With Katie and everything going on, I think I just met my limit.”
Shane nodded. “You and me both, baby. But maybe you’re right. Maybe a weekend away would do us a world of good.”
I wiped away my tears and gave him a small smile. “So, we’re going to try? You’re with me on this?”
“I’m with you, babe. All the way.” The smile he returned was tentative, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Along with the lead weight of dread sitting heavy in my heart, I wondered what we were in for.
Chapter 22
The next day, I called Uncle Bob to see if we could use his beach house for the weekend. Thankfully, he was fine with it. This started a flurry of activity: first with a call to Kate. Surprised at our request, she surmised that Tommy would be the best one to answer since he was “in charge,” so we called him. After playing phone tag, he finally conceded that it would be all right to leave—as long as everyone went. He didn’t have the manpower to send anyone to Ocean City to provide protection for us except for Rick. With Kyle working the case alongside Detective Ford and the work-force already stretched to its limits, I didn’t want to leave my family to chance.
So the romantic weekend away turned into a family vacation. Not exactly what I wanted, but whatever. We were going away. That’s all that mattered. The very notion of planning for the weekend was such a mood booster, that for the rest of the week, Shane and I actually smiled more at each other and acted more like we had in the past.
Finally the weekend came.
As we sped down Route 50 and over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge with the windows open, the stress lifted away. We stayed on Route 50, cruising down through the rural roads of Maryland’s Eastern Shore. When the familiar sight of the bridge going over the Isle of Wright Bay came into view, a tingle of excitement washed over me and I shrieked with happiness. Of course, that made Shane look over at me as if I were a dumb ass, but I didn’t care!
As we made our way, turning left onto North Philadelphia Street, nostalgia hit me. The perfume of ocean air, mixed with the smell of suntan lotion and a ting of sweetness from Dolly’s Candy Shoppe, was the perfect way to welcome me back to my home away from home. We used to spend a week here every summer when I was growing up. Nothing had changed. The sidewalks were still crowded with families, the seagulls were rabid for a bite to eat, and traffic sucked. We drove five miles down to 81st Street and Coastal Highway, where my uncle’s three-story townhouse was located right on the beach.
I was out of the car before Shane could put it in park. Stretching, I inhaled the salty air. “Oh how I missed this place. Can I just tell you again how freaking excited I am to be here?”
Shane got out and looked around. “Now that we’re here, I’m pretty psyched too. It’s been a while since I’ve been here. This town hasn’t changed a bit.”
He grabbed our suitcase and portable crib while I brought Katie inside. Seeing the view of the Atlantic Ocean from the balcony made me giddy with anticipation.
Claiming the largest room in the house, Shane dropped the portable crib and suitcase onto the navy blue comforter. Laughter trickled in from the lower level, announcing the arrival of Mom and Nancy, followed by Cole and Rick.
“Do not ever make us drive with your mom. Ever again,” Cole grumbled, bringing in a crate full of electronic equipment.
I picked Katie up out of her car seat and wiped the drool from her chin. “Oh what’s wrong Cole? Did she try to fix you up? Help you work out your love life?”
Rick chuckled as he headed to the bedroom across the hall. “Try to fix him up? She practically married him off to your cousin Heather. I think she had the guest list already set.”
I choke on my laughter and end up snorting. We quickly got settled in. Mom and Aunt Nancy went out for groceries while Shane and I took Katie for a walk on the beach.
“As much as I like Cole, and even Rick, I really can’t wait until we can have privacy,” I said, glancing over my shoulder at our two “bodyguards” standing on the balcony, watching us with binoculars. For a Friday afternoon, the beach was virtually empty minus the seagulls scavenging for picnic remnants.
“I hear ya,” Shane muttered. He was busily texting God-knows-who.
“It’s a beautiful day Shane. We’re at the beach. What’s so important you can’t look up from your phone?�
� I asked, adjusting Katie in her wrap against me.
“It’s not important. Just working something out.” He slid his phone into his back pocket. I reached for his hand, just as his phone vibrated.
“Shoot, hang on. Let me get that.” He turned and walked toward the water. Out of my earshot.
Is he serious? What was so private that he couldn’t have a conversation in front of me? I watched him talk animatedly on the phone. Listening to Katie’s babble did little to divert my attention from watching him pace across the sand. The furrowed brow, clenched jaw, rapid hand gestures – yep he’s pissed. Sure glad I’m not on the other end of that call, I thought with a smirk. Five minutes later, Shane walked back to us.
“What’s that all about?” I asked as he stalked toward the house.
“Nothing,” came his grumble.
Here we go again.
“What the hell happened, Shane? Who was that on the phone?” I demanded, huffing and puffing from the exertion of trying to run through sand with a twenty-pound baby strapped to my chest.
“Just a misunderstanding. That’s all. I’m starved. Let’s see if Mom wants crabs for dinner.” He gave a big albeit fake smile. His “let’s pretend everything’s okay” smile. Whatever.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I continued. Part of me wanted to stay at the beach and try and talk it through. The other part, the ‘trying-not-to-be-a-drama-queen’ part, just wanted to let it go.
“Babe, it’s nothing. This douche was getting under my skin about something at work. I did something for him a while back and now he’s pissed because I won’t do it again,” Shane said. We reached the house and he turned on the hose to wash the sand off our feet, and then followed me inside.