"She only told us that Armand gave up his nights to the wrong woman," Rhys stammered, falling back another step, bumping into the wall on the other side of the hallway. Scrubbing his hands through his dark auburn hair, he shook his head in speechlessness. "Your mother…."
Ferris kissed Armand's shoulder before she murmured, "Don't say anything, not yet."
"Ferris," Rhys rasped, his eyes silently pleading with her. "Don't ask that of me."
"It's only for another night," she said with a smile that trembled on her lips. "Everyone will know about us soon enough so there's no point in worrying Jenna before you two complete the ritual." She laughed, the sound slightly hysterical, "You don't know what would happen if you guys fail to complete it. You might become frozen forever because Jenna can't die."
"Ferris," Rhys repeated, obviously having difficulty forming any other coherent thought.
"And be sure to keep everyone away from the roof tonight," she requested. Tugging on Armand's hand, Ferris turned her back on Rhys and went back into her bedroom. Armand's skin burned with emotion as he stared down at this amazing woman and with one last glance at Rhys, he followed his soul back to bed.
Ferris tried desperately to be brave but it was nearly impossible as the hours turned to minutes. She didn’t want Armand’s last memories of her to be one of splotchy skin and blood-shot eyes and so she smiled a little brighter and laughed a little harder to disguise the fact that she was dying inside. Not even Fray’s magical laughter made her feel any better. Of course, he was still an infant and so very young. She imagined in a few years, perhaps after she was gone, he would have the power to make the saddest person smile.
The little dragon spent most of his time asleep, acclimating to the human world. At least that is what he told her. She had the feeling that he was giving her time with Armand since she had so little time left. Everyone was keeping their distance, including Raphe who looked at Ferris with sympathy in his violet eyes.
Shortly after leaving Rhys standing in the hallway, Ferris and Armand went up to the roof. She spent the night in his embrace, watching the city come to life as the sun set. Few words were spoken but every moment was etched into her heart in case she failed to find a way to live forever and be there when Armand awoke. The only option she knew was possible was the Medusa-wizard blood concoction and if she drank that there was a very real possibility that she would die. She knew that her odds of surviving were better than the average human because both her mother and her aunt had survived the toxic cocktail. Unfortunately, she didn't have the blood mixture.
Even if she had the cocktail, though, the wizard wasn't around to give her the proper dosage. If she took too little it wouldn't work and if she took too much she would die a horrible, violent death and the difference between the two was so slight as to be practically non-existent.
Knowing that her mom and aunt had survived the ingestion of the poisonous concoction of wizard blood and Medusa’s blood made it difficult to dismiss the option out of hand, if only she could find the potion. Of course, a part of her mom and aunt had died when they drank the mixture. It was what allowed Vaughn to return to his living state when he had been frozen.
“What are you thinking?” Armand’s low voice wrapped itself around her, warming her from within. He brushed his lips against the back of her head, pressing light kisses against her hair.
Tilting her head back and to the side, resting her forehead against his throat, she smiled, “About how nice it was of the family to give us this time together.”
She felt his smile more than saw it, “I'm sure Rhys promised them that you would answer all of their questions once the sun came up.”
“That sounds like Rhys,” she teased, her heart trembling erratically in her chest. "I wonder how long he will be able to keep it from Jenna. You know he can't keep a secret from her to save his life."
He chuckled softly but didn't say anything, pressing a warm kiss against her temple and breathing in her scent.
"Jenna's probably going to freak out that I'm no longer a virgin and that I gave it up to you," she continued, hearing her words catch in her throat as she tried to keep the tears at bay.
"Hopefully she won't give you too hard of a time," he murmured. "You are an adult, after all."
They fell into silence again, time pressing down on them until Ferris was sure she was suffocating. She wanted to hear his voice, she needed to hear it. If he didn’t talk to her she was going to go mad and start screaming. Clearing her throat, she asked, “So, what are you thinking about?”
He was silent for a long time and she could feel his throat work as he swallowed convulsively. “I am just thinking that the wait is much more tolerable when I am with the woman I love.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to speak but the words choked her so she nodded instead. His arms tightened around her and his voice came out rough, “I was also thinking that the night is going by too fast and I don’t want to let you go.”
The sob she had been holding in broke free and she let loose a low, painful moan. He hugged her closer, “Shh, it’s alright.”
If she could she would have laughed at those words. Twisting around in his arms, she straddled his lap and rested her arms on his shoulders, holding his green gaze, “I promise I will see you one more time, Armand. No matter how long she lives I will live just a little bit longer.”
His eyes glistened but he didn’t let the tears fall even as his grip on her hips tightened, “Don’t talk about such things, Ferris.”
She pushed her fingers through the thick black hair on the side of his head and framed his face, her eyes burning with resolution, “Will you still love me when my skin is paper thin and I have more wrinkles than freckles, Armand? Will you love me just a little longer when life has exhausted me and I am old and frail?”
“I will always love you,” he rasped, wrapping his arms around her waist and hugging her to him. He unwrapped one of his arms and slid his hand beneath her shirt, cupping her breast in his broad palm. Shivers slid down her spine and a breath caught in her throat at the electricity of his touch. It never would have gotten old. “You could be a hundred and two with your breasts sagging to your waist and I would love you.”
She smiled despite the breaking of her heart. “They’re doing amazing things with plastic surgery these days. Maybe my breasts will still be perky even as the rest of me is falling apart.”
He brushed his thumb over her nipple and grinned lasciviously, “Well, just so long as your breasts remain perky.”
Her laughter caught on a broken sob and she was crying once more. Armand squeezed his eyes shut, pulling her towards him, hugging her as if he could hold onto her forever. “I am so sorry, Ferris, please forgive me.”
“Shh,” she whispered, the sound jerking past her lips as she placed wet kisses along his jaw, his neck. Her body was sore, her heart battered and broken, but she needed one last time with him. "Make love to me one last time, Armand. Please."
“Ferris, there isn’t time,” he panted, his hands pushing the material of her skirt up her thighs, his fingers brushing over the damp curls of her sex. “If I’m in you when the sun comes up it will tear you apart.”
“We’ll be quick,” she breathed, reaching between their bodies and wrapping her hand around his erection, positioning it at the entrance of her body. Tears streamed unheeded down her face and she was sure her body was going to protest another intrusion but she didn’t care, she needed this. Ignoring the screaming twinge of discomfort between her thighs, she held his gaze as she lowered herself onto his erection.
“Everyone is going to be coming up here soon,” he whispered, slowly moving his hips to minimize the pain. Softly, lovingly, he moved the fingers of one hand along her cheek, her jaw, over her lips as he held her tighter.
“Do you think I care?” she rasped in a pained growl, moving her body against his, trying to climb into his heart and find comfort there. “This is my last moment with you, Armand. I’m
not giving it up.”
“Ferris.”
“Shut up,” she growled, covering his mouth with hers and kissing him as if it were the end of the world. His fingers curled into the flesh of her waist and his erection slowly began to swell inside of her. She knew that it meant their time was almost over but she couldn’t let go and her tears fell faster.
“It’s time, Ferris,” he whispered, pulling her off his expanding erection. She clung tighter to him, burying her face against his neck and trying to breathe. “Ferris.”
His lips pressed gently against her head as he held her against his body, as the warmth drained away from his graying skin and his erection melted into his body. “I hate you, Armand.”
“I know.” His voice was rough, gravelly and she cried out, throwing her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his, desperate to hold on.
“Oh, God,” she wailed, pressing kisses against the stone column of his throat. “I could never hate you. I love you.”
“I know,” he said softly, chuckling darkly. She tilted her head back and he was already mostly gargoyle as he gazed at her with stone eyes. Reaching up one last time, he brushed the hair from her face, the tears from her eyes, and whispered, “I love you.”
The life faded from his gaze and the world shattered around her. It was deadly silent for a heartbeat and then she let out a long, sorrowful wail, tightening her arms around the thick stone neck of the frozen gargoyle, begging him to come back to her. Her voice was raw as she screamed at him to come back, the words broken and incomprehensible. Darkness threatened to swallow her whole as he sat there no longer animate, a frozen gargoyle.
Hands and arms were attempting to pull her away from her beloved Armand but she fought like a madwoman to remain with the man she loved, no matter his form. “Ferris… Ferris, let go, love. Let go.”
They were calling her name from a million miles away but she wasn’t going to let go. If she let go then it was going to be real and she couldn’t let it be real. Scrambling to hold on, she was blinded by her tears, her agony. How could he do this to her? How could he make her fall so deeply in love with him and then leave her? “Come back, Armand. God, please come back.”
“Ferris,” her mother’s soft voice broke through the wall of her misery. Jenna’s gentle touch moved down her spine. “Sweetheart, there’s nothing you can do if you don’t let go.”
“Mommy,” she whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut as every muscle in her body went limp. Suddenly she was in her mother’s arms, hugging Jenna as the world turned to black. Jenna’s fingers brushed through the wild strands of Ferris’s hair, comforting and soothing as she murmured soft words of nonsense but Ferris was too far gone to understand or care.
A few hours later she was huddled up on the couch, wrapped in a thick blanket and drinking a cup of hot chocolate liberally laced with Irish cream. Her mother sat with her, watching her with concerned eyes, making her feel so foolish for having thrown such a fit earlier. Facing her mom but not quite meeting her eyes, she huffed out a pathetic little laugh and tried to smile but it fell flat. Her face hurt too much, her throat was scraped raw, and she felt hollow. “I’m guessing this isn’t what you expected to find when you got home, is it?”
“Hush,” Jenna murmured, stroking her fingers through Ferris’s hair, as if she needed to touch her daughter to keep Ferris grounded. Perhaps she did. “Rhys and Vaughn could kill Armand for doing this to you.”
“No.” Ferris shook her head in sad resignation. Tears continued to leak from her eyes but she no longer bothered wiping them away. There would only be more. “No. If he hadn’t done it than I never would have had this month with him and had the chance to fall even more in love with him. God, mom, I love him so much. He’s incredible, simply incredible.”
“Ferris, sweetie,” she murmured, still stroking Ferris’s hair. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going through all of this?”
Ferris felt the heat seep into her cheeks as she blushed for no reason, “Mom, you were on a long-awaited adventure with Rhys. Do you really think I would burden you with something like this?”
“I’m your mother, Ferris,” Jenna said sternly, sadness simmering in the depths of her summer blue eyes. “I have only ever wanted your happiness and because of the choices I’ve made I think I have caused you nothing but pain.”
“Mother, no,” Ferris denied vehemently, grabbing her mother’s hands in her own, holding her mother’s gaze as she spoke. “I never wanted a different life, mom, not ever. Being here, surrounded by magic… I can’t imagine a more amazing life. I wouldn't trade it for anything.”
Jenna was silent for a long time, her eyes searching Ferris’s, looking for something. With a sigh, her shoulders slumped a little and she whispered, “I know that it hasn’t always been easy, that your classmates weren’t always so kind….”
Ferris let out an incredulous laugh, “Mom, kids are cruel but I got to live in a magic castle. Besides, that was ages ago. Why are you bringing it up now?”
Jenna moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, not quite able to meet Ferris’s gaze any longer, “Because I fear it’s the reason you fell in love with Armand in the first place.”
“How do you figure?” she asked, dumbfounded by her mother’s convoluted reasoning.
Jenna was silent for a long time, her thoughts warring on her beautiful face. After a long moment, she let out a long sigh and forced her eyes to Ferris’s. “He has always been the one you turned to for comfort, Ferris, ever since you were a little girl. You would smile at me and tell me that everything was fine, that you were fine, but then you would seek out Armand and tell him the truth.”
A small, almost horrified, giggle escaped Ferris’s lips and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand, stopping the betraying laugh before she lost it completely. Her mother continued, “Do you know how hard it is to be a mother and see your child suffering and being unable to do anything to help? Knowing you are the reason she suffers? Did you hate me for doing this to you?”
“Mother,” Ferris breathed, the last pieces of her heart shattering to dust in her chest at the hurt in her mother’s face. Wrapping her arms around Jenna, she hugged her mother tight and closed her eyes “I’ve never hated you, not ever.”
“Why?” Jenna choked, biting back her own tears and failing to prevent them from falling.
“Because you were so sad before you met Rhys,” Ferris explained softly, using her thumbs to brush the tears from beneath her mother’s eyes. “And I never wanted to see you sad again.”
“You are my child, Ferris,” Jenna protested. “You’re not supposed to be protecting me. I’m the one who is supposed to be protecting you.”
“And you did, mom,” Ferris vowed passionately. “You gave me magic.”
Raphael heard Ferris moving around in her room that night and a rage unlike anything he had ever known before burned through him. Methodically, he went to the workshop and dug out a chisel and hammer, ignoring his two brothers as he made his way to the roof. His muscles ached with fury as he pushed through the door and saw the griffin gargoyle standing there in all of his damnable pride and glory.
Without a second thought, he crossed over to the marble bastard and pressed the edge of the chisel against Armand’s stone chest. Tears burned his eyes, making his vision waver as he pulled his arm back, the hammer heavy in his grip.
Large fingers wrapped around his wrist, stopping him from swinging the hammer before he could even start. He struggled against the hold, the chisel scratching fine lines into Armand’s chest. To his dismay he knew the lines would disappear in a few days and the ungrateful bastard would bear no scars.
“What are you doing?” Leo growled, squeezing Raphe’s wrist until his fingers went numb and the hammer dropped to the ground.
“I’m carving the ice cold heart out of his chest,” Raphael seethed through clamped teeth, his chest rising and falling as he panted in impotent anger. “He doesn’t use it so I figured I could
cut the damn thing out and give it to Ferris.”
“You can’t do that,” Leo said softly, pulling the chisel out of his other hand. “Ferris would never forgive you if you hurt him.”
Raphael swallowed thickly, the moisture in his eyes spilling over as he stared at the griffin. “She was supposed to be a gargoyle with us! She was going to accept Armand’s gift and be with us forever. He fucked it up by giving his nights to someone not Ferris.”
“We know,” Michael breathed, putting an arm around Raphe’s shoulders and leading him over to the ledge where the three of them sat down. Three sets of shoulders slumped in unison, each of the gargoyles lost in thought.
Raphe choked, “I have never felt as powerless as I did this morning when he changed. Ferris was… she’s never been overly emotional and seeing her lose it completely was… it was heartbreaking. I just want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay but we all know it won’t be.”
“We don’t know that,” Leo protested softly. “Maybe she will fall in love with another immortal that will be able to grant her eternal life. It sure as hell would serve Armand right if he woke up and she was still here but no longer his.”
“Right,” Raphael snorted. “Which immortal won’t destroy what is Ferris? It would be better to lose her than to see her become a monster.”
“We’ll keep her grounded,” Leo said feebly, his words trailing off at the hopelessness.
Lifting his head, Raphe looked at his brothers with his tender violet eyes. “What are we going to do?”
“For now, nothing,” Leo grunted half-heartedly. “She’ll be okay. Eventually.”
Chapter 9
Retreat
Ferris looked around the room, smiling on the outside and feeling nothing on the inside. For three weeks she tried to force herself to return to normal, knowing that every day that passed was another day without Armand. Numbness began to invade her soul on the fourth day and it only hurt when she breathed. By the tenth day she no longer cried. She could also no longer paint. Everything reminded her of Armand. He was everywhere she looked and living at the castle was becoming suffocating.
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