He quickly divested himself of his clothing, revealing Armand’s naked body to Ferris. Armand was surprised that he was able to feel the warm breeze that caressed his over-heated skin, the soft sheets that covered the bed. Softly, he ran his finger over the fragile skin of Ferris’s breast and he shuddered to discover that her flesh was paper thin and just as delicate. He was afraid that if Apollo were too rough her skin would tear.
Bending his head, he gently took her nipple into his mouth and bathed the nub with his tongue. He felt it plump up beneath his ministrations and repeated the motion on the other breast. Her fingers curled into his hair and he ran his tongue between her breasts, tasting the cool skin of the woman he loved, of the woman he had killed.
“Armand,” she breathed, pleasure mixing with the pain that had been there for so long.
He squeezed his eyes shut at the reminder of who he was and who he wasn’t as he kissed her entire body, masking her sickness with the superficial appearance of glowing health. Even in sickness she still tasted sweeter than anything he had ever tasted before, a luscious berry that was almost ripe.
Armand could taste her on his tongue, the pure essence of Ferris, no longer buried beneath mortality. Losing himself in her, he almost forgot that it wasn’t real, that he was reliving a memory. Until he felt the hilt of a dagger in his hand and found himself settled between Ferris’s slender thighs, not quite joined.
His heart raced in his chest as he gingerly wrapped his fingers around Ferris’s delicate wrist and pried her hand open. Ignoring the curious eyes that watched him, he slid the tip of the dagger along her palm, her skin splitting easily apart and weeping blood. Taking a shuddering breath, he carved a line into his palm before quickly linking their hands together.
Swallowing, he forced himself to look at Ferris, to meet her eyes. The illusion of health was already starting to fade but she stared back unblinkingly, trustingly. As his blood mixed with hers, he pushed into her willing body, closing his eyes in ecstasy as she accepted him without hesitation. “Armand.”
His heart was breaking, his heart was rejoicing.
Armand blinked a few times before realizing they were back on the roof. Looking at Apollo in stunned disbelief, he rasped, “She thought it was me?”
“She was dying and there was nothing I could do for her.” Apollo shook his head in bewilderment, at a loss to explain his inability to save Ferris in his own form. “Fray was getting stronger but he was still so young and she was so… human and the only way to save her, to give her the strength to survive, was to be you. So, yes, she thought it was you.”
Armand squeezed his eyes shut at the hopeless sound of his father’s voice. He had been such an asshole to her and she didn’t deserve his wrath. When he found her, he was going to have to beg and plead for her forgiveness. He had never wanted her to suffer and yet because of him that is all she had done. As a child she had suffered the torment of cruel classmates and as an adult she had to suffer the cruelty of a stubborn, foolish gargoyle.
He had driven her into Apollo’s arms, forcing her to seek a solution to an impossible problem because he had been too cowardly to simply give her his nights and trust in Ferris. Instead, she had turned to a god and nearly died in the process.
His thoughts rose up in a cacophony of protests before they were abruptly cut off and he was left standing in shattered silence as he remembered what happened to Melanie and Jenna when they took the blood of Apollo. His brothers’ mates had just a few drops of the potent blood mixture and it had nearly killed them. Ferris was practically bathing in god's blood. She also had two demigod children in her womb and with sudden insight he knew what happened to her.
Raising his head, he met Apollo’s eyes, seeing the knowledge in the hazel depths. Frozen with guilt and self-loathing, he roughly asked, “What aren’t you showing me?”
“I don’t think you need to see it.” Apollo looked at him with sympathy and Armand wanted to rage at the world for being so stupid and selfish. “It’s too much.”
“I’ve come this far,” Armand said thickly, swallowing against the dread that lodged in his throat. “I owe it to her to see the rest.”
Chapter 20
War is Hell
Once again, Armand was in Apollo’s head, lying on the bed next to Ferris, her naked body pressed against his. Love swelled in his heart and he wanted to hold onto her forever. Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, “Are you feeling better?”
“Mmm,” Ferris purred, idly stroking his chest as her body exhaled on a sigh. “I no longer feel like I’m a little bit dead and decaying, if that’s what you mean.”
He chuckled, kissing her again because he couldn’t not kiss her. Already she was doing better, her body was no longer sickly thin and she was breathing with ease, her breath starting to grow warm once again. “The rest of the pregnancy should be smooth sailing….”
Before he was able to complete that thought, her entire body became icy and stiffened completely, almost as if in total rigor mortis. When he looked at her, her eyes were rolled back and only the whites could be seen. Her teeth were bared in a painful but silent snarl, and the color was once again gone from her skin. Slowly, he looked down and saw her finger twitch and he felt sick, knowing that it was going to get immeasurably worse. Terror welled in his chest as her body attempted to begin the process of morphing into a goddess.
“Fuck!” he bellowed in a panic, trying to hold her suddenly thrashing body down. She had shared her memories with him all of those years ago and he remembered that it was after the second time they made love that she had gotten better. He assumed that the addition of his seminal fluids was what healed her but obviously he was mistaken because she was dying and he didn’t know how to fix it. “You never showed me this part!"
Red tears leaked from her eyes as her body purged her of her mortality and he feared he had taken the wrong path and everything that had come before was going to be erased. Ferris was going to die before she went back in time and saved him from fading away to nothing. She wasn’t going to be able to save Armand from an ill-fated mating and the future was going to be destroyed all because one small human ceased to exist.
Brushing the bloody tears from beneath her eyes, smearing the red over her paper thin cheeks, he cried out, “Don’t you dare do this to me, Ferris! Don’t you dare!”
A breath shuddered from between her lips and her body went limp. He stared at her in horrified shock, seeing no fluttery pulse along her throat and feeling no cool breath from her mouth. Pressing his ear against her chest, he heard nothing, not the tha-thump of her heart or the gurgle of her stomach.
From out of nowhere, a scream pushed past his lips as he wrapped his arms around her and held her body; a god brought to tears by a mere mortal.
Locked in his father’s memory, Armand’s screams were silent. Even though his rational mind knew that Ferris still lived, that she survived, in that moment she was dead and he felt a piece of himself die with her. “Ferris.”
Light pierced his eyes as he felt her lungs expand with a harsh breath. Stunned, he pulled his head back and watched through glossy eyes as light began punching its way through skin, smoothing over all of her flaws, from the freckles that he adored to the scar she had from a childhood accident. Her chocolate colored hair became thicker, more lustrous and her lips returned to their natural shape but the hue was somehow more shimmery. Her skin glowed with life and vitality and when she opened her eyes, he gasped. The blue-green color of her eyes was more brilliant, more vibrant; perfect gems sparkling in the sunlight.
She was still Ferris but she was… more.
She blinked, a look of bewilderment passing over her exquisite face, as she looked around the room, as she met his gaze. Tilting her head to the side, she frowned, “You’re not Armand and yet you are.”
“Pardon?” he asked, his brain fried by the emotional lynching he just took.
Tenderly, she cupped his cheek in her palm, “He’s there, I can sense hi
m, but he is hidden.”
“Ferris?” he asked and Armand wasn’t sure who was asking.
She shook her head and the light receded back into her body. Her eyes rolled back and she was asleep, her chest rising and falling with each breath she took, her pulse fluttering madly along her throat. He looked down and saw the surprise on the dragon’s tattooed face.
The surge of power had been incredible.
“What is your Hell?” Apollo asked once again, his voice solemn as he stared at Armand who was completely and utterly still. He was shell-shocked, unable to form words or thoughts. He stared at his father as Apollo gruffly continued, “It isn’t knowing she was with me, or with anyone else. That was just a pathetic excuse to deny your true Hell. Your Hell is seeing her suffer and being unable to do anything. Your Hell is losing her so you pushed her away before she could leave you.
“But, Armand,” Apollo continued. “She never would have left you. Even if she were to die I am pretty sure her ghost would have clung to you until the end of time but you pushed her away. Hell isn’t burning, Armand. It’s emptiness, it’s being without her.”
“You love her,” Armand said softly. He had known it but now he felt it in his bones. At his father’s nod, he felt even worse. Only Ferris could get a god to fall in love with her and still choose the gargoyle. He stared off into space, his body numb, his mind in turmoil. “I don’t deserve her.”
“No, you don’t,” Apollo agreed. “But that’s the funny thing about love, it happens whether we deserve it or not. I suggest you accept her gift and be grateful that you are the one that she loves and to never, ever, take her love for granted.”
Mindlessly, Armand nodded his head in agreement. “I knew the moment I sent her away that I was a fool to let her go. Can you send me to her now, please?”
Apollo draped his arm over his son’s shoulders and gave him a sideways hug, “You pushed her away, Armand. What if she doesn’t want you anymore?”
The pain that exploded in his soul nearly brought him to his knees but it was no less than he deserved. Taking a shaky breath, he slowly nodded, accepting the possibility, “I have to try.”
“If you do this, if you go back, you might get stuck,” Apollo continued trying to dissuade Armand from his destiny. “I mean, if she no longer wants to deal with your bullshit I won’t be able to bring you back.”
“I don’t care,” Armand said thickly, his throat dry. “I have to try. Send me back.”
“She won’t be able to bring you back either because she’s still very young,” Apollo added, stepping back and preparing to send Armand back in time. Rolling his sleeves up, he looked at Armand with eyes that were beginning to glow with power. “If she doesn’t want you, you will be completely alone. You will be forced to live underground as history passes you by and you return to the present. You cannot interfere with history, Armand, not even in the littlest bit. If you do…. Well, needless to say, it would be a very bad idea.”
“She’s worth the risk,” Armand nodded, determined to find her and beg her to forgive him, even if it took five hundred years to do so. “It’s worth risking everything for the chance to be with her. I love her.”
“You’re a fool,” Apollo murmured with a sad smile. “You could have had the world without this suffering.”
“I know,” Armand admitted, unable to think beyond the stupidity of his actions that had sent Ferris away. The complete idiocy of giving his nights to a relative stranger because he had a momentary panic attack. The insanely hypocritical jealousy he gave into when she had a moment of weakness when he had given her no reason to stay strong. If he could, he would punch himself in the face. “But now I will appreciate her even more.”
Apollo chuckled, “Idiot.”
With a self-deprecating smile, Armand exhaled, “Just… just do it.”
Cocking his head to the side, Apollo gave Armand an appraising look. Heaving a sigh, he said, “There is just one more thing I wish for you to see.”
“What’s that?” Before the question was completely out of his mouth, Armand was back in Apollo’s memories, holding an exhausted Ferris in his arms. Only this time, it was a good exhaustion, one that only came about through difficult yet rewarding effort.
“Twins,” Apollo breathed, still reeling with the shock of having to deliver an unexpected second child, a daughter at that. Holding the tiny bundle of pink in his arms, all he could do was stare at her perfect button nose. Glancing at the infant in Ferris’s arms, he shook his head in wonderment. “Wow.”
Ferris chuckled softly, leaning against his chest, smiling down at the infants. Running a finger along the curve of their son’s cheek, she murmured, “I know you’re not really Armand, Marick. You don’t have to pretend any longer.”
If Armand could frown, he would have. Apollo spent the entire pregnancy pretending to be him?
The man shook his head but he remained in his Armand suit. “How long have you known?”
“I’ve always known… well, since after the change. I didn’t know before,” she admitted quietly, looking up at him with a soft, tender expression. “He smells like moonlight and thunderstorms and you smell like sunlight and summer breezes. Thank you for saving me, Marick. Thank you for masquerading as Armand to do it.”
“I would do anything for you,” Armand said, his words being spoken out loud.
Ferris’s eyes widened in her face as she looked at him in astonishment and her lips moved but no sound came out as she breathed, “Armand?”
Then the moment was over and he was standing on the roof once more. He stared at his father in bafflement and gratitude. Without a word, Apollo heaved a sigh, swirling his arms through the air in dramatic fashion, whipping up bands of light. “Good luck, Armand.”
Armand nodded his head in acknowledgement, clearing his throat as he met his father’s eyes, “Thank you, Father.”
Apollo gave a half smile before snapping his fingers and Armand was whooshed through time. His blood raced through his veins as he considered his options for finding Ferris. Obviously the best and most logical choice would be to confront Apollo in the past, since his father was the only one he knew that was powerful enough to discover what was going on in a short time frame. Armand had to know if Ferris had arrived yet and whether or not she was still in Katrina’s body, if she had accepted his gift of nights.
Shit. What was he going to do if Ferris was stuck in Katrina’s body? If she accepted past Armand’s gift and was lost to him because present Armand had been an idiot? What if he never again got to see her sparkling, turquois eyes, her breathtaking smile?
He landed with a thud in the middle of London, blinking his eyes at the fog that rolled over the cobblestone streets. A shadowy man was standing over him, his cloak billowing out behind him and making him look like the Angel of Death. Shaking his head, Armand flinched when the man reached out his hand. He hesitated a moment too long because the man bent down, a beautiful smile curving his lips and Armand wanted to punch his father.
“Do you need a hand, son?” Apollo asked, his platinum hair catching the light from the streetlamp, his knowing smile wicked and amused.
With a grumble, he wrapped his hand around his father’s wrist and was jerked to his feet. Brushing off the seat of his pants, hoping he hadn’t fallen into anything too disgusting, he got straight to the point, “I was coming to find you.”
“I had a feeling you might be looking for me,” Apollo grinned, only this Apollo was younger than the man Armand had just left behind. Glancing around the eerily quiet streets, Armand shook his head, remembering how much he had hated being a gargoyle when the only life that happened in the dark was the life no one wanted to know existed. It was the darkness that called to the darkness in men’s souls at a time when Armand had yearned for the light.
“How could you possibly know?” Armand grumbled, his thoughts in discord. He finally found the light and he closed his eyes, unable to bear the brightness. Ferris saw him as he truly was and
he had been terrified but no longer. He was going to bask in her light until it reached the blackest corners of his soul and chased out the darkness.
“You wouldn’t be my son if you let that woman get away,” Apollo said matter-of-factly, his smile even more brilliant. He looked around the abandoned streets and a shudder wracked his body as he grimaced, “I hate the dark.”
Armand laughed at his father’s words that were too close to his thoughts. “Where is she?”
Apollo looked at him from out of the corner of his eye, not quite meeting Armand’s gaze, “Well, it’s complicated.”
“Oh, gods,” Armand groaned, his legs turning to jelly. “Please don’t tell me she’s trapped in Katrina’s body and she’s a gargoyle now.”
“What?” Apollo’s head whipped around, his eyes wide in his handsome face. “No! You have such strange notions, son. NO, just… no. She’s in a time bubble.”
Scrubbing a hand through his hair, Armand groaned, “How long has she been in the bubble?”
Apollo shrugged, “Probably a month? Maybe two?”
Armand ground his teeth together, “And how many years is that?”
“Well, between thirty and sixty,” Apollo answered, his eyes dancing with laughter. At Armand’s glare, he laughed outright, “You don’t think I would send you back to the point she entered the bubble did you? She needed some time to process everything, to see if you are still what she wants.”
“You’re still trying to get her back,” Armand growled, his eyes narrowing to slits, forgetting for a moment that this Apollo hadn’t known Ferris…. “How well do you know her?”
Apollo’s eyes twinkled as he let the smile stretch across his face, “You’re jealous. After all of this time, you’re still jealous. Foolish gargoyle.”
“When it comes to Ferris I will always be jealous,” Armand admitted. With a small smile, he shook his head, "She's my heart, my soul, without her I don't exist. Of course I'm jealous."
Stone Destiny (Stone Passion #3) Page 27