Liza sat at her dressing-table, blinking rapidly, shocked by the vehemence of his manner.
‘But what will everybody…’ she bleated.
‘Think?’ Henry cut in roughly. ‘Liza, I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks. If Mother can accept the situation with graciousness, I fail to see what’s bothering you.’
Tears ran down Liza’s freshly rouged cheeks. ‘You’ve changed,’ she wept. ‘You were never like this before the war.’
‘It’s times that have changed, not me.’
‘No, you’ve changed – towards me. You used to back me up, Henry.’
‘I used to let you have your own way,’ he growled, frowning. ‘The issues were trivial before the war, too. Do we accept Lady Diana Cooper’s invitation to a party? Or do we dine with some boring couple, whose invitation we’ve already accepted? Hardly life or death decisions,’ he added drily.
‘You’re so beastly these days,’ Liza sobbed. ‘I don’t believe you love me any more.’
Henry opened his mouth to say that might well be true, but then he checked himself; there was no need to be cruel and of course he loved her; he was just losing patience with her.
‘I’m going for a walk,’ he said instead, walking briskly out of the bedroom and shutting the door with unusual care. No need for the whole family to know they’d been quarrelling.
* * *
It was Lady Anne who casually informed Louise, Amanda and Charlotte that a relative of their grandfather’s was coming to lunch on Sunday. She would happily have told them the truth, but she considered them too young to understand, and confusion in a child’s mind could be very disturbing.
Louise, of course, was careful not to give away that she already knew who Gaston was.
‘You’re right, Granny,’ Rosie, who’d been let into the family secret, agreed. ‘Is he going to be living permanently in England now?’
The next morning, Juliet telephoned to say she’d be down for the day, on Sunday.
‘Juliet’s such a gossip the whole of London will know Henry has an illegitimate half-brother,’ Liza moaned but not in Henry’s hearing. They hadn’t spoken since their quarrel.
* * *
Candida and Gaston, with Sebastian and Marina, arrived shortly before one o’clock. He’d been kitted out in a decent tweed suit and brown lace-up shoes, courtesy of Candida’s late husband, and with it he wore a cream shirt and a maroon tie. Shaven and with his hair cut, he looked more like Henry than ever.
Lady Anne emerged from the house and stood on the worn stone front door steps as the car came up the drive, with Candida honking a friendly greeting on the horn.
‘Welcome,’ she said to Gaston, smiling as she extended her hand in greeting. ‘I’m so glad to meet you, and glad you were able to come over today.’
Gaston looked taken aback and slightly scared. ‘Madame,’ he said formally, bowing and shaking her hand.
‘The whole family is here,’ she continued, kissing Candida. ‘Let’s have a drink before luncheon.’
Henry was in the hall, warmly courteous and correct, anxious to do the right thing after the way he’d banished Gaston on his previous visit. ‘Come and meet the rest of the family, Gaston,’ he said, leading the way into the library.
Like a lioness who had gathered her cubs together, Liza sat very upright on a sofa, with Rosie, Louise, Amanda and Charlotte gathered around her. Only Juliet stood poised, one elbow resting on the mantelpiece, as she smoked a cigarette in a long holder.
Henry made hurried introductions to ease any awkwardness.
‘What can I get you to drink, Gaston?’ he asked. ‘Sherry? Gin and French? Whisky and soda?’
‘I ’ave zee vin blanc, if eet possible.’
‘Gaston only drinks wine, the wise fellow,’ Candida observed robustly, seeing Liza’s sneering look.
‘It’s much healthier than spirits,’ Lady Anne agreed.
While the older members of the family talked, Louise rose and went and stood beside Juliet.
‘He looks like Daddy, doesn’t he?’ she whispered.
‘Very much so,’ Juliet agreed, grinning. ‘You must be relieved it’s all out in the open now.’
Louise gave a deep sigh. ‘I can’t tell you how thankful I am, and knowing that Granny doesn’t seem to mind either is such a relief.’
‘Never underestimate Granny. I wish Mummy was being more amenable, though.’
‘It’s the usual thing; she’s terrified of what people think.’
Conversation was not exactly sparkling as they all tucked into Mrs Dobbs’s chicken casserole. This was because Gaston’s knowledge of English was very limited, and the others didn’t want to talk among themselves, leaving him out in the cold.
However, Candida held forth in a mixture of both languages, seemingly carrying on several different conversations at the same time, so that in the end Gaston became increasingly relaxed, and ended up laughing and smiling.
Only Liza remained isolated, resentful that her mother-in-law and sister-in-law had taken over the role of hostess. They were making such a fuss of this French bastard, too. When the war was over and they were once more in London, his existence was going to be a total embarrassment.
Henry rose at the end of lunch, and held up his glass of wine.
‘I would like to propose a toast to the health of Gaston, to welcome him into this family, and to wish him luck in the future.’
They all rose, charged glasses in hand, with the exception of Liza who rose lethargically and with a glass of water instead of wine.
Henry was the only one to notice and he glared at her accusingly. With a little shrug, as if she’d made a mistake, she put it down again and picked up her wine glass.
‘To Gaston!’ everyone chorused, drinking to his health. He reddened and looked very moved, as he bowed his head in acknowledgement.
‘We are very happy you are here today.’ Lady Anne spoke with sincerity, looking him straight in the face.
Gaston raised his own glass. ‘I salute ze family!’
* * *
Henry returned to London with Juliet that evening, Gaston having gone back to Hampshire with Candida, prior to their return to the city the next morning.
‘Daddy, what’s the matter with Mummy?’ Juliet asked, as they left Shere behind and she drove swiftly and surely along the main road to London.
‘She’s fine, darling,’ Henry replied vaguely, pleased to have this quiet couple of hours with his daughter.
Juliet darted a quick look at him out of the corner of her eye. ‘Dads, she’s furious about something. I’ve never seen her so disgruntled – except when Alastair committed suicide and she blamed me.’
‘I don’t think she was too keen on having Gaston to lunch today.’
‘What?’ Juliet took her eyes off the road to look at him. ‘There’s a war on, for God’s sake. Surely she’s not still worrying about what people might think?’
‘Your mother’s a very loyal person,’ he said carefully. ‘It upsets her to think something might harm the family.’
‘Why has Mummy got this terrible fixation that everything must be proper? Fuck what other people think, that’s what I say.’
Henry looked shocked, ‘Really, Juliet, you mustn’t swear like that.’
She burst out laughing. ‘Oh, come on, Dads. You do, because I’ve heard you. When Mummy’s not around you curse and swear like a trooper.’
Henry sneaked a guilty smile. ‘But you’re a young lady, and it’s not attractive in a woman.’
‘Dads, I only swear in front of my nearest and dearest,’ she said lightly, ‘and right now, you’re my dearest. Do you think,’ she continued carefully, ‘that Mummy has got a thing about her background being different to yours?’
Henry was silent for a moment. ‘I think Mummy is very proud of being a Granville, and very loyal to the family; that’s why she wants everything to be perfect,’ he said eventually. Juliet didn’t answer, but sighed deeply.
Henry looked at her beautiful profile sympathetically. ‘I’m afraid you’ve had a bad time, haven’t you, sweetheart?’ Juliet nodded, suddenly feeling emotional.
‘I’m sure you’ll find the right person one day,’ he continued sympathetically.
She took a deep rasping breath. ‘I did find the right person.’
‘Really?’ He seemed surprised. ‘And it didn’t work out?’
‘Mummy would be delighted by that, if she knew,’ she said bitterly.
He looked puzzled for a moment. ‘Was it that Jewish man who was already married?’
She nodded silently.
‘But the fact that he was married must have made you realize it wouldn’t work, darling?’
‘I can’t think beyond how much I love him. You’ve no idea, Dads. I love him with every particle of my being.’ She paused, blinking back the tears. ‘However, he doesn’t want to have anything more to do with me.’
‘My darling, I’m so dreadfully sorry. What a terrible time you’ve had. And losing the baby, too.’
‘It was his, you know.’ She was openly crying now. ‘Daniel’s baby, not Cameron’s. But Daniel never even knew I was pregnant; I lost the only thing I had left of him…’ She couldn’t continue. Plunging her foot on to the brake, she pulled the car over and stopped by the roadside, covering her face with her hands.
Henry put his arms around her. ‘My poor lamb,’ he whispered. ‘I can’t bear to think how you’ve suffered. Did Cameron know it wasn’t his child?’
She shook her head. ‘He was so pleased… I couldn’t take that away from him.’
‘And now you’re out in all these air raids, doing that dreadful job.’
Juliet rested her head on his shoulder. ‘It helps take my mind off my personal problems. Seeing such terrible sights makes me realize how lucky I really am.’
He kissed the crown of her head. ‘You should have told me all this before. Instead of bottling it all up. You must feel so lonely at times.’
She didn’t answer. How could she tell him that during her off-duty hours, she buried her heartache in drink, the occasional line of cocaine, and sleeping with whoever she’d gone out with?
Her old demons kept reminding her that that was all she was fit for. Her nightmares had returned, taunting her about her utter worthlessness.
‘I have a lot of good friends,’ she said vaguely, blowing her nose on the snowy handkerchief he’d handed her. ‘And Dudley spoils me to death, with his black-market goodies, including extra petrol for this car.’ She sat up and gave her father a watery smile. ‘Come on, Dads, let’s get going or we’ll never get to London.’
‘Wouldn’t you like me to drive?’
‘No, I’m fine now. I’ll drop you off at your flat on the way home.’
When she drew up outside Campden Hill Court, Henry begged her to come and have a drink.
‘Just for a few minutes, darling. Ian was saying the other day that he hasn’t seen you for ages.’
In the darkness he couldn’t see the expression on her face.
‘Thanks, Dads, but I really have to get home. I’m on duty again in the morning and I have things to do,’ she said, her voice suddenly as dry as cracked ice.
‘What’s wrong, Juliet?’
‘Nothing, really. See you very soon. ’Bye.’ The car moved swiftly away, and Henry stood on the pavement, watching it disappearing into the black-out.
* * *
‘’Ow was your weekend?’ Jack enquired, when he and Louise met at their new secret rendezvous, the sheltered grassy bank where they’d read the poems of Rupert Brooke.
‘It was all right, but I was sorry to have to postpone our picnic because we had people to lunch.’ Louise sat down beside him.
‘I ’aven’t finished the book yet. I ’ave to do a lot of ’omework when I gets back from school. I ain’t got a light in my bedroom, neither. I’m going to ’ave to get a torch or somefink, so I can read in bed.’
She noticed there was golden hair on his forearms as well as his cheeks. For a moment her head swam, as she watched his strong hand pluck absently at the grass.
‘I could lend you a torch,’ she suggested in a small voice.
‘Ta! You do a lot for me, don’t you?’
Louise blushed. ‘Not really.’
‘I got somefink to lend you.’ He reached into his battered old haversack, and pulled out a dog-eared paperback.
‘Crowned Love,’ she read aloud. ‘It looks like a historical novel. How interesting. Thank you very much.’
‘It’s a marvellous book, but it ain’t ’alf long. A bloke at school lent it to me, and I thought you’d like it. There’s a lot about King Charles in it. Keep it under yer ’at, though. It ain’t no children’s book.’
‘That’s fine, because I’m not a child,’ Louise retorted, slightly offended. ‘If you can read it, so can I.’
They were still talking when the first reddish glow of the sunset sent long shadows across the grassy bank. Jack had been telling her how the war was progressing, which he’d gleaned from his avid newspaper reading.
‘And it ain’t good,’ he summed up. ‘If it wasn’t for Winston, we’d all be a gonner.’
Louise sped home on feet light as thistledown, clutching Jack’s book under her arm, inside her coat. To hold a book that he had held, to read the pages he had read, and to absorb the meaning of the words that he’d digested was the most intimate act she’d ever experienced with a boy.
Slipping back into Hartley without running into anyone, Louise sped up to her bedroom, and quickly stuffed the book under her knickers and vests in the chest of drawers. She’d plead a stomach ache after supper, so she could get to bed early and have a good read.
* * *
A shining new day, glittering with dew under a vividly blue sky, met Louise’s gaze as she opened her curtains the next morning. She hadn’t slept a wink, but she’d never felt more alive and imbued with the strange feeling she’d experienced in the past, when she’d been thinking of Jack.
And now she understood why. How could she have been so naive… so blind! Nearly sixteen, and it had taken ‘Crowned Love’ to tell her what ‘making love’ meant. She felt astounded. Amazed. Astonished. And terribly excited. So that was what happened.
‘Oh, my God,’ she murmured to herself several times. Was that why Jack had said, ‘But you ain’t ready yet,’ that time he’d first held her hand? She blushed at the memory. Rosie and Juliet, she supposed, must have done it with their husbands, though she simply couldn’t visualize her sisters partaking in such a thing.
If the facts themselves were delightfully surprising, nothing surprised her more than her own innocence. She was sure neither Amanda nor Charlotte had the faintest idea about the ‘facts of life’, either.
That thought made her feel terrifically grown-up.
It was only as she was walking home from school the next afternoon, knowing that Jack would be waiting for her by the smithy, that she was suddenly overcome with the embarrassment of facing him. Had he lent her Crowned Love on purpose?
One thing was certain. The childish days of innocence had been swept away in one night, and now she was faced with the reality; wondering if she’d ever have the courage to go through with it.
Jack was standing gloomily, hands in pockets, scuffing the toe of his boot against the old cobbles. Behind him the smith was hammering on his anvil as he forged a shoe for a grey gelding that stood tethered to one side.
‘Hello,’ Louise called out gaily, shouting above the noise.
‘Hello,’ Jack replied, looking up. He was frowning and Louise looked quickly away, thinking he must be embarrassed, too.
‘Had a good day?’ she asked.
He fell into step beside her. ‘The news is bad.’
‘Is it?’
‘The war’s not goin’ well.’
‘We’re going to win, though. In the end. Granny says Mr Churchill is a wonderful leader.’
They were both gazing at t
he ground as they walked, lost in their own thoughts.
‘I wish I could join up,’ Jack grumbled fretfully.
That made Louise turn to look at him, startled, a terrible sinking feeling clutching at her heart.
‘Join up?’ she croaked, appalled.
He nodded. ‘Sooner the better. I can lie about my age, ’cos I’m tall. I wanna fly planes; Spitfires that knock Jerry out o’ the sky.’
‘Do you?’ Louise drew out the words in anguish. Everything was going terribly wrong. She was seized with panic. Jack would go away. He’d be killed, and never come back. She’d never see him again. It would be the end of the world for her. She’d never get over it.
‘They won’t take you for some time yet,’ she pointed out, her voice wobbly. ‘By then, the war could be over.’
‘Not a bloomin’ chance,’ he retorted fiercely. ‘Wot good am I doin’ ’ere?’
Privately, she had to admit that he wasn’t doing any good for the war effort, stuck in Shere. But she needed him. Meeting him after school every day was all she had to look forward to. Seeing him on Sundays, at their secret rendezvous, was the highlight of the whole week.
Louise turned her face away, so he wouldn’t see the tears trickling down her cheeks. How was she going to exist without Jack?
‘’Ere, wot’s all this?’ He stepped in front of her, blocking her way.
She drew a shuddering breath and stared at the ground.
‘Nothing.’
‘’Course there’s somefink wrong,’ he said impatiently. ‘This ain’t like you, Louise.’
She sniffed and bit her lip. ‘I don’t want you to go to war,’ she burst out, with sudden passion.
Jack’s expression changed and a look of wonder filled his eyes. ‘I’ll be all right,’ he said gently. Then he put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him, her face crumpling.
‘Come on, now,’ he chided gently. ‘I’m not goin’ off this minute.’
‘I won’t be able to bear it without you,’ she confided, searching her pockets for a handkerchief. At last she found a tiny, lace-edged one, with which she dabbed her eyes and wiped her nose.
The Granville Affaire Page 16