by Cross,Lexi
I forgot she hadn’t been around. She didn’t know what life was like for me. I sat up against the headboard. “Imagine it. I go around with the club. Everybody knows I’m with them, right? Everybody knows I’m president. We have parties, we have fun. There are women everywhere.”
“So you can’t control yourself,” she snapped.
“Why the hell should I? I’m single, right? Divorced, but single. You left, Jess. And you know, before you did, you were the only woman I was ever with. Ever in my life. But if you thought I was gonna wait around for you, you were mistaken. If you chose to swear off men, that was your choice—just like it was your choice to leave. I don’t walk around your life, telling you that you made bad choices. Don’t do the same thing to me.”
“You don’t? So that’s why you’ve done everything in your power to call me a bad mother after what’s happened with the loan sharks?” She glared at me. Even in the near-darkness, I could tell she glared.
“That’s different. My choices don’t involve a kid—at least, they didn’t until tonight. You put him in danger by doing what you did. I can’t bite my tongue forever. He’s my kid, too.”
She drew in a breath like she was about to scream at me. I braced myself. Then, she laughed. “Are we really fighting again?”
I laughed, too. It was ridiculous. “Yeah, we are. I guess we’ve been making up for lost time.”
She settled back in beside me, head on my chest again. “And for the record, you’re the only person I’ve ever been with,” she whispered. “Just you. Nobody else compared to you. I don’t care if that makes me sound corny, or if you hold it over my head later on. It’s the truth. Besides, I didn’t want to bring anybody else into my life unless I was sure they were right for David, too. Nobody fit the bill.”
“Do I?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself.
“Honestly? Now that you know about him, I would like you to be part of his life. I meant it when I told you I was sorry for keeping him from you all this time. When I look back, I recognize how silly it was to do that. It would have to be a slow process, though, you know? He’s a smart kid, but he’s sensitive.”
“Yeah, I figured that out.”
She snickered. “I guess you see that as weakness,” she muttered.
“In a seven-year-old kid? No. I think it’s natural. Stop telling me what I think,” I said.
“You’re right. I don’t know why I’m so contentious right now.”
“Yeah, I thought you’d be nice and mellow after coming so hard.”
“Ha, ha,” she said, sarcasm in her voice.
“I must not have done my job well enough,” I said, stroking her back. She squirmed, giggling a little. When my fingers reached the base of her spine, right above her ass, she stopped giggling. I heard her sigh, instead.
“Not so funny, is it?” I murmured, moving my hand up and down, up and down. Each time I went a little lower, gently touching the spot above her tailbone, then a little lower until I stroked the curve of her ass. She squirmed, moaning softly. “You still like that, huh?” I murmured, getting harder the more she moaned and moved against me. She gasped when my fingers brushed against her asshole, then groaned when I touched her wetness.
I lifted one of her legs, draping it over my waist, giving me access to all of her. She settled against me, opening her legs a little wider so I could reach the entire length of her cleft. I went slowly, remembering every bit of her. The sounds coming from her were so familiar, it was like no time had passed. The way she whimpered when I stroked her outer lips, careful not to give her too much right away. The need in her voice when I teased her.
Then I went deeper, wetting my fingers as I explored her folds. She sighed, gripping my shoulder with one hand as I worked her. She closed her eyes, making desperate little noises as I ran the tips of my fingers over her most sensitive places. I reached her clit, and she went stiff against me with a sharp gasp. Then she relaxed into it, moaning, writhing against me as I massaged her button just the way I knew she liked it. I traced slow circles around it, barely making contact, until she begged me to let her come.
“You wanna come for me?” I whispered, not giving her what she wanted. Driving her crazy.
“Yes!” she gasped. “Please! I need to!” I kept going, just barely touching her, loving the way she begged me to keep going, to press harder, to give her what she needed. She had kept me waiting for seven years. I would let her wait a little more.
“Grayson!” Her voice was sharp, a pleading cry, a command. I had made her wait long enough and was afraid she might hurt me if I made her wait any longer. I flicked her back and forth, harder, faster, and she moved in time with my motions until her entire body tensed. She shuddered, pressing her face to my shoulder to quiet the sound. She shivered, moaning, the spasms racing through her.
I pulled her on top of me until she straddled me. I had missed how easy it was to move her, pick her up, position her the way I wanted to take her. She was more than ready for me, too, her heat hovering over my aching erection.
“Let me watch you ride,” I muttered. “It’s been a long time since I got to watch you.”
She grinned, biting her lip. I waited while she took me in one hand, stroking me. I groaned, hoping she wouldn’t make me wait too long. I wasn’t in the mood for teasing.
When she lowered herself onto me, we both moaned. It was so good. Almost too good. And she was so tight. I took her hips in my hands as she adjusted to me, feeling her curves, running my hands over her ass, up her back. Her skin was still so smooth, it just begged to be touched. I needed to touch all of her, I realized.
When she started to move, I grunted in approval. “That’s it. Ride me, baby. Let me see what you want.” She whimpered but did as I told her. I knew how much she wanted it, and I wanted her to take what her body had to have. She had waited long enough.
She closed her eyes, making a sort of humming noise in her throat as she moved up and down, rocking her hips as she did. Grinding. Her clit rubbed against me as she moved, and the way she gasped with every down stroke only got me harder.
“Take what you want. Make yourself come for me.” I massaged her tits, weighing them in my hands, pinching the nipples. She sped up, riding faster, slamming herself down harder and harder with every stroke. She leaned back, hands on my thighs, and I watched her tits bounce in time with her movements.
It was incredible to watch her take control. All the need she had bottled up for so long came pouring out of her, and I was the lucky son of a bitch who got to be there when she let go.
One of her hands reached between us, rubbing her clit. I struggled to hold myself back—it was so fucking hot, watching her touch herself while she rode me faster and faster, harder, gasping for breath as her muscles clenched around my cock and she let out a little scream, then went quiet as she pulsed around my length.
It was my turn to take over, then, and I grasped her hips as I jerked upward to thrust into her. She moaned, almost like she couldn’t take anymore. Her body knew what it wanted, though, and it took over for her as she responded to me. She leaned down, pressing her tits against me, kissing me with all the passion inside her as I bounced her up and down on me.
“Oh…Grayson…yes…” she gasped in between kisses as our bodies slammed together. I clenched my jaw, holding on, wanting it to last until she screamed for me. I had never wanted sex to last forever, the way I did when I was with her. Usually, all I cared about was coming and being done with it. Jess made me want to go all night, never stopping, just taking pleasure in each other’s bodies.
She rose up on her hands, and I ran a hand over her mouth, her throat, her tits. I took one in my mouth, then the other, sucking, nibbling, making her ride me again. Her hair hung down around me, her breath filled my ears like the smell of her filled my nose. It was all too much. I couldn’t go on for much longer, not with the way her tight tunnel gripped me, pulling me deeper with every thrust. The connection between us was as strong as ever, in
every way. I wanted it to go on. I wanted it to end, because I didn’t know how much more either of us could handle.
I didn’t have much of a choice, anyway, because as soon as she tightened around me and bore down in the throes of another orgasm, I lost control. I groaned, straining to keep the roar inside instead of letting it out the way I wanted to. I wanted to roar in triumph. She was mine. The way she was supposed to be, the way it was meant to be.
I didn’t know if I could ever let her go again.
She collapsed onto me, exhausted. I wondered if it had ever been that good even when we were kids, and I chuckled quietly as I stroked her back.
“What?” she muttered, panting for air.
“I used to think it was good ten years ago.” She got the joke and laughed with me.
“You would think it would have been, right? When we were young? When my body was the way it used to be.” She sighed, then rolled off.
“Your body is as good as it ever was. You’re not an old woman yet, you know.” If anything, there was something new about her body that I liked even more than I ever had. A womanly feeling. She was curvier, fuller. And there was a difference in the way she did things, like she was in control of herself—I guessed it was all that time spent flying solo. No way she had spent over seven years without a single orgasm. She had learned about herself, and she had a confidence that hadn’t been there when we were younger. She knew what her body needed, and she wasn’t shy about going for it. I was glad she felt comfortable going for it with me.
We didn’t say anything to each other for a long time after that, side by side on our backs, breathing heavily. There was nothing to say. Our bodies had said everything there was between us. It had been like no time had passed. The most natural thing we could have done.
She sat up, and I reached for her. “I have to go,” she whispered, kissing the back of my hand. She reached around in the darkness for her clothes.
“Why?”
“As much as I would love to fall asleep here with you, I think I should go back to the guest room. I don’t want David to wake up alone and wonder where I went. It would scare him to death.”
I nodded—she had a point, even though I had to admit I was a little disappointed that she was leaving. It wasn’t like me, the man who never wanted a woman to spend the entire night in bed with him, but she wasn’t any ordinary woman. All of the other women who came after her had just been placeholders, bed warmers. She was the real deal. Now that I had her back, I didn’t wanna let her go.
She had to do the right thing by her son—our son—so I had no choice. I kissed her goodnight and watched as she left the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that everything had changed. Whether it was for the better or the worse, I still wasn’t sure.
Chapter Sixteen
Jess
I woke with a start. It was one of those feelings when you first wake up with no idea where you are. I used to feel that way sometimes at sleepover parties, and usually after the first night in a new home. That was the way I felt when I woke up in Grayson’s guest room.
I realized moments after remembering where I was that it was David who’d woken me. He was starting to stir. I was glad—I wanted to be awake for him, to answer any questions he might have. I watched as his eyes opened, so slowly. It still filled me with wonder sometimes, knowing I’d had a hand in making him. He was a miracle.
“Mama? You slept here with me?”
I smiled, running my fingers through his hair. “Yes, sweet. You were so fast asleep, you didn’t even know it.”
“Are we still at Grayson’s?”
“We sure are. Isn’t this a comfortable bed?” I didn’t know who’d decorated the apartment, but it couldn’t have been my ex-husband. He wasn’t the type for ruffled duvets and throw pillows. I wondered if one of his many girlfriends had helped him, then reminded myself grudgingly that it was none of my business either way.
“It is comfy. I guess that’s why I slept so good.”
“I guess it is.” I kissed his forehead, then showed him the way to the bathroom. I’d already laid out his toothbrush, and smiled to myself when I heard him brushing his teeth at the sink.
When he came out, we explored the apartment together. “This is so huge,” David said, craning his neck to admire the high ceilings. “It’s like a church.” The thought of Grayson living in a church was enough to make me bite my tongue to keep from laughing. I didn’t want Grayson thinking I was laughing at him.
“This is a very old building,” I explained. “A long time ago, people used to work here.”
“What did they do?”
“They manufactured things. That means making, really. They made clothes here, I think. It didn’t look like this back then. The walls were the same as they are now,” I said, pointing to the exposed brick, “and there were pillars like there are now. But I think that’s all that’s the same. When the company moved away, somebody bought the building and turned it into apartments like this one. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Yeah, pretty cool. What about our apartment? Where did that come from?”
“I think they built it to be an apartment building.”
“So it’s not as cool as this one.” David looked out the tall windows. “Hey, there’s a fire escape here, too!”
“Sure there is. They have them on all sorts of buildings like this. In case there’s a fire, people can escape. Get it?” He grinned, nodding. It amazed me how resilient he was. I’d been sure he wouldn’t take it well, that he would want to be near me. He wasn’t normally a nervous or fretful child, but then he’d never been in a situation like the one we faced together. I couldn’t have been more wrong about him. If anything, I was the nervous one, mainly because I didn’t know how my son and his father would get along with each other.
Not that I thought they wouldn’t like each other. I didn’t think anybody could know David and not like him, though I was willing to admit to being biased in his favor. I only wondered how he and Grayson would get along since he wasn’t used to big, strong, fearsome men like his father and Grayson wasn’t used to kids, period.
“I’m hungry,” David declared, climbing down from where he’d been kneeling on the windowsill. “Do you think there’s food here?”
“I honestly don’t know.” Odds were, no. The last I’d known of him, Grayson wasn’t exactly a chef. His idea of home cooking was a baloney sandwich or bowl of cereal. I’d tried to teach him the basics but had quickly given up, seeing as how it was a lost cause. He was more than happy to let me take care of it for him…and, as long as I was being honest with myself, I was more than happy to do it back then. I loved him. I wanted to care for my man.
I went to the fridge, my nose wrinkling when I saw what was inside. “Well, there’s a lot of soda and beer—not exactly breakfast foods,” I murmured. David peered in, too. He looked at me with a frown when he saw there was no milk or juice or anything he equated with breakfast.
“Let’s check out the cabinets,” I suggested. I was willing to make do with Pop Tarts if it meant giving David something to eat. I opened every cabinet and was pleasantly surprised to find cereal, oatmeal, protein bars, cereal bars, granola and more. “Hey,” I said with a smile. “We’re in luck!”
Then I reached for a box, only to find it empty. And another. And another. I realized he’d emptied every box and never thrown any of them away. It was so ridiculous, I had to laugh.
The front door opened without warning. David and I both jumped a mile, David running around to hide between me and the dishwasher. When I saw Grayson walking through, I breathed a sigh of relief.
“It’s okay, baby. Just Grayson. See?” I held David close to my legs. He was shaking.
“I’m sorry,” Grayson said. “I thought I’d go out and get us some breakfast.”
“We didn’t realize you weren’t still in bed,” I explained. The sight of a bag from the deli and two cups of coffe
e was enough to thrill me. I looked down at my son. “See? He brought food. He didn’t mean to scare us.”
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Grayson said, crouching down until he was at eye-level with David. “I brought you an orange juice and a muffin. Is that okay?”
“That’s just fine,” I said when David didn’t respond. My heart broke when I understood how much the night before had shaken him up. I was more than a little jumpy myself—my heart still raced, and the sick feeling in my stomach was only just starting to subside.
“I guess it’ll take you a little while to get used to things,” Grayson said, unpacking the food on the counter. I grinned when I saw what he’d gotten for me—a plain bagel with cream cheese and lox, piled high. My mouth watered. Grayson pulled up stools, and I helped David sit on one so he could eat. Once he took a few bites of a muffin nearly as big as his head, he seemed to relax.