by Lisa Yee
“Down the hall, to the left,” Hawkgirl informed her as she holstered her mace. “I’ll take you there. Follow me.” With that, Hawkgirl’s wings opened once again to lift her off the ground and propel her toward the main building in the middle of campus.
“Thank you for caring,” Wonder Woman called as she flew after her, smiling. Everyone was so helpful…and already hard to keep up with.
When she first entered the office, Wonder Woman slammed into a large bookcase. But she soon realized it wasn’t a bookcase at all.
“Excuse you,” Principal Waller said when she turned around. Dressed in a black power suit that complemented her dark skin and accentuated her strong shoulders, The Wall was an imposing figure. When she saw her newest student, the principal tried smiling warmly, once again giving off a look of digestive discomfort rather than welcome, before returning to her stern professional demeanor.
“Wonder Woman, let me be the first to welcome you to Super Hero High,” Principal Waller said.
Wonder Woman didn’t want to tell her that Frost had already been the first.
“Follow me,” Principal Waller said, walking briskly. “We don’t want to be late.”
Principal Waller led Wonder Woman into the grand assembly hall. When Wonder Woman took a seat in the back, most of the kids in the auditorium turned around and stared at her. She was tickled to recognize several faces from the recruitment video. Not knowing what to do, Wonder Woman waved and then tossed her hair, as she had seen Frost do.
“Ahem!”
Principal Waller didn’t need a microphone. As she stood onstage, her booming voice reached all the way to the back corners of the room and spilled outside to the student garden. When she spoke, students sat up and squirrels scattered.
“Today we are here to name our Hero of the Month,” Principal Waller began. “As you know, this prestigious award goes to the teen super hero who has shown helpfulness, selflessness, and acted as a role model for all who attend Super Hero High School.” Several students nodded confidently. Some wore elaborate super hero costumes, while others wore what looked almost like regular clothing. Wonder Woman admired a pale girl with flowing auburn hair and a vine of ivy woven through an elaborate side braid. The girl smiled shyly back, then motioned that Wonder Woman should be watching the stage.
“This month’s Hero of the Month is…Bumblebee!”
A graceful teen with bronze skin and golden wings flew toward the stage as the audience broke out in cheers. Bumblebee’s rich honey-colored boots matched the streaks in her curly brown hair, and her black leggings were accentuated with fancy patterned knee socks. Wonder Woman found herself applauding, too.
A video began to play. It showed Bumblebee shrinking to the size of an insect and projecting sonic blasts that mowed down a band of criminals intent on robbing Super Tunes music store, tutoring students in how to dodge bullets, and working in Principal Waller’s office. The video ended with a teacher, Liberty Belle, saying, “Bumblebee’s enthusiasm for learning is genuine. I only wish we had a whole hive of Bumblebees here!”
Wonder Woman saw the star logo at the close of the video and wrote on her to-do list Become Hero of the Month. Who wouldn’t want that? She looked at the students sitting near her. The girl to her right was covered in silky fur with sleek spots. She stretched out slowly, as if bored. Wonder Woman smiled but was ignored. Thinking that perhaps she hadn’t seen her, Wonder Woman poked the girl and said, “Hi, I’m Wonder Woman.”
The girl glared at her and growled, “I’m Cheetah, and don’t ever do that again.”
“Okay!” Wonder Woman said, glancing over at the girl on her left. She recognized her from when she’d first landed.
Frost let a small smile slip out before she blew a freezing-cold blast of air at the green boy in front of her. As he sat frozen, Frost said, “Oops! Sorry. My bad,” and laughed.
“Stop that!” someone ordered. An Asian girl leapt to her feet, chopping some of the icicles from the boy’s clothes with her sword. Her jet-black hair was cut at a sharp angle, as if it had been sliced with a sword, too.
“Leave me alone, Katana,” Frost said.
“You leave Beast Boy alone,” Katana said, brandishing her gleaming silver sword. Wonder Woman could see her reflection in the blade.
Frost created a shield made of ice and held it up.
The two girls faced off in the aisle, glaring at each other as Beast Boy shape-shifted into the form of a penguin and said, “I’m all right, K-k-k-katana. I can handle the c-c-c-cold.”
“Ahem!” Principal Waller called again.
“Great, now The Wall will be on our case,” Frost whispered to Katana. “This is your fault.”
“Students!” the principal bellowed. “You know the rules. No superpowers and no weapons during assembly. After-school detention for all of you!”
The teachers looked bored as they walked up and down the aisle, collecting wayward weapons in large metal bins. Amid the clanging sounds of swords and arrows and ammo being surrendered, Frost and Katana stewed and Beast Boy returned to his natural green form.
“Your belongings will be returned when you submit an essay on why it is a bad idea to bring your weapons or use your powers during assembly,” Principal Waller said wearily before perking up.
“And now for some exciting news! The one hundredth Super hero Super Triathlon is taking place this year. I believe this is Super Hero High’s year to shine. I won’t go into details yet, but I will introduce the newest member of our student body. Wonder Woman, please join me.”
Surprised and thrilled, Wonder Woman leapt into action, heading to the stage while waving and tossing her hair.
“Our newest student is a one-of-a-kind catch!” Principal Waller continued.
Catch? Wonder Woman thought. Was she supposed to catch something? She looked up in the air just as a student stuck her leg out.
“Who will catch you if you fall?” Cheetah asked with feigned innocence.
Wonder Woman stumbled, rolled into the fall, and jumped back up in one fluid motion. Students applauded. Cheetah scowled. Wonder Woman took a bow.
“Not the result you were expecting, is it?” someone sitting nearby said to Cheetah.
“Listen, Star Sapphire,” Cheetah said. “If that girl thinks she’s going to rule the school, she’s wrong.”
“You’re right, of course,” Star Sapphire said, toying with her shimmering sapphire ring.
Both looked at Wonder Woman, who had paused on her way to the stage. Cheetah was still scowling, but Wonder Woman only saw kindness on the other girl’s face.
Soon enough, Wonder Woman was standing on the stage next to Principal Waller.
“We are all aware of your achievements, Wonder Woman,” Waller was saying. “Most recently, rescuing those second graders. But what we are really looking forward to is what you can bring to Super Hero High to help inspire us. Would you care to say a few words?”
Wonder Woman looked out over the sea of super hero students. “It is I who came here to learn from all of you,” she said earnestly. “There is so much good we can do in this world, and teaching each other is the first step.”
Waller led the applause as Wonder Woman waved. Then the principal called Bumblebee back up to the stage. “Your first assignment as the current Hero of the Month is to show our new student around the school,” she told her.
“Gladly!” Bumblebee said, offering Wonder Woman a warm, welcoming smile.
As the students jammed the hallways after the assembly, Bumblebee tried to weave in and out of the crowd, but her wings kept getting in her way. “You don’t mind if I shrink, do you?” she asked.
Wonder Woman wasn’t sure what that meant, but, not wanting to be rude, she said, “No. Please, go right ahead.”
She watched as Bumblebee went from the size of a teenage girl to the size of—well, a bumblebee. As the Hero of the Month skillfully flew around the students who were ahead of her in the Flyers Only lane of the hallway, Wonder Woman found it difficu
lt to keep up. Speed was not an issue, but flying while taking notes and pictures proved to be dangerous. “Sorry,” she said when she veered out of the lane and knocked students down. “Oops! Sorry!”
“That’s the library,” Bumblebee said, pointing left. “That’s the dining hall,” she said, pointing right. “And those are some of the fifty-six emergency exits,” she said, pointing in all directions.
A swirl of gold and white skated past Wonder Woman. “Coming through!” the girl said brightly. Wonder Woman brushed some snowflakes off her dress and marveled as a sheet of ice appeared in front of the girl each time one of her skates touched the ground.
Wonder Woman caught up to Bumblebee, who was saying, “That’s Golden Glider—” Wonder Woman wasn’t listening, however. She had snapped into high alert.
A boy was heading straight toward her with his hand out. Was this an attack? In a lightning-fast offensive move, Wonder Woman rushed at him, grabbed his arm, whirled him around twice, and then tossed him down the hall, where he fell and skidded to an unattractive stop against the lockers.
Bumblebee circled, grew back to full size, and asked, “Um, why did you do that?”
Wonder Woman was still in her fighting pose, prepared for any other unknown enemies who might try to attack. “Just protecting myself, and you,” she said, reaching for her Lasso of Truth before remembering that all weapons had been confiscated.
Bumblebee made herself small again and buzzed in Wonder Woman’s ear, “He wasn’t trying to hurt you. He was just going to shake your hand. Hal Jordan can be self-centered sometimes, but he’s a Green Lantern and good guy.”
This was confusing to Wonder Woman. He didn’t look self-centered at all. If anything, he looked like he was only in the center of the floor. “Why would he try to shake my hand?” she asked. “There’s nothing wrong with it.”
“It’s what polite people do when they greet each other,” Bumblebee explained.
Wonder Woman felt silly. In a flash she was leaning over Green Lantern while he tried to sit up. There was going to be a big bump from where his head had hit the locker. Boys are so strange, Wonder Woman thought as she stared at him. She had never seen one up close like this before. His short, thick brown hair and dimpled jaw were accentuated with an attention-grabbing mega-zit. Do all boys have pimples?
Hal saw Wonder Woman staring, and he started to cover the zit when she suddenly grabbed his right hand.
“So sorry for that,” she said. “I’m Wonder Woman. Nice to meet you.”
Super Hero High’s newest student shook Green Lantern’s hand vigorously.
“Ow, ow, ow!” he cried, taking his hand back and examining it for bruises.
Wonder Woman looked at him expectantly. What was he trying to tell her? Did boys speak in code? Ow, ow, ow?
Embarrassed, Green Lantern said, “Ow…um, ’ow are you?”
Wonder Woman smiled. She liked the way he talked. “I’m just fine!” she said. “ ’Ow are you?”
In her first class of her first day at Super Hero High, Wonder Woman wanted to remember everything so she could write to her mother about it. During Flyers’ Ed, she watched in awe as Beast Boy morphed into a large double-crested cormorant, a fishing bird, before her eyes. She was heartened to see he had completely thawed out, even if he did still waddle a bit.
As a bird, Beast Boy’s takeoff was superb—but suddenly, in midair, something went wrong. He turned back into a green-skinned teen and plunged toward the ground. As Wonder Woman positioned herself for the catch, Beast Boy shape-shifted into a flying squirrel, did three in-flight somersaults, and landed safely at her feet.
“Gotcha!” he said, laughing when he turned back into a boy.
“Beast Boy!” the teacher, Red Tornado, barked, his face looking even redder than usual. For a synthetic man with artificial intelligence, he had no problem letting people know how he felt. “What did I tell you about false flight failures?”
“False flight failures are not funny,” Beast Boy said, hanging his head and looking remorseful. He winked at Wonder Woman and whispered, “But they are!”
Wonder Woman was impressed and confused by what she had just seen. She took a picture of Beast Boy before grabbing his right hand and energetically shaking it. “Hello! I’m Wonder Woman,” she said. “That was amazing!”
Wonder Woman noticed the class staring at her. Then she felt embarrassed. How could she have been so rude? Starting with Red Tornado, Wonder Woman quickly went around the room, shaking everyone’s hand, telling them her name, and waving and tossing her hair. By the time she got to the last student, the unassuming girl said in barely a whisper, “I’m Miss Martian.” Before Wonder Woman could greet her, the girl turned invisible, leaving Wonder Woman with her hand extended to no one.
“That was fun,” she said to Bumblebee, who looked like she was trying to suppress a giggle. Wonder Woman couldn’t wait until she got her class assignments. As her school tour continued, Wonder Woman became particularly smitten with SaveBall, a game the Supers were playing in phys ed.
“Throw to the team captain!” the teacher yelled.
“What’s a team captain?” she asked Bumblebee. Half the field cheered when Cyborg tossed a robotic dummy into a net.
“It means you’re in charge,” she answered.
Wonder Woman made a note of that. Be team captain. Be in charge.
As they made their way down the hall, Wonder Woman straightened the portraits of the famous super hero alumni lining the walls, picked up trash, and fixed a warped metal banister.
“Wow,” Bumblebee said. “That’s been bent out of shape ever since Firestorm accidentally melted it. Everyone always said it looked bad, but you’re the first person to do something about it.”
“Wonder Woman, over here!” someone called.
“That’s Barbara Gordon,” Bumblebee explained, motioning to the girl standing next to a bank of lockers, some low, others ten feet up near the ceiling. “She’s a tech whiz from Gotham City High who helps out around the school. Her dad’s one of the teachers here.”
“Wonder Woman, that one’s yours,” Barbara said, taking a slip of paper from her clipboard. “Flyers always get the top lockers.”
Wonder Woman looked at the series of numbers written neatly on the paper. She wished her handwriting was half as nice, but she had a habit of pressing too hard on the paper and was always snapping the tips of her pencils off.
“Is this to break into a safe?” Wonder Woman whispered. Back home, she loved reading about bank robbers and other unsavory criminals in her Tragic & Totally True Colossal Crimes comics. Hippolyta wasn’t thrilled about her daughter’s choice of reading materials, preferring that she read textbooks, flight manuals, and how-to tomes on warrior skills. Wonder Woman had to hide her stash of comics under her spare weapons, and often read them at night under her covers with a flashlight.
Barbara laughed good-naturedly. “It’s not quite the combination to a safe,” she said, pushing her dark ginger bangs out of her eyes. “It’s your locker combination. My dad, Commissioner Gordon, says one can never be too careful, so keep your combo a secret. Here’s how it works. Watch.”
Barbara pulled a grappling hook from her tool belt and climbed to the top locker. When the door popped open, Wonder Woman’s eyes became misty. Her very own locker!
“What could be better than this?” she said as she took a photo of it.
“I’ll show you,” Bumblebee said brightly. “Follow me!”
As they flew past the nurse’s station there was a long line of students holding their right hands and grimacing. Wonder Woman smiled and waved to them, calling out each student’s name. Some flinched when they saw her. But most seemed pleased that Wonder Woman had remembered them.
“Wait!” Wonder Woman said as they passed The Wall’s office. “I want to drop off my essay.”
Bumblebee blinked in surprise. “You finished your essay already?” she asked.
“Yes,” Wonder Woman said, wavi
ng it in the air. “To get our weapons back, right?”
“But when did you write it?”
“While we were walking from class to class,” said Wonder Woman. With her Lasso of Truth back in her hands, Wonder Woman followed Bumblebee down a maze of stairs, through secret passageways, and up to a brick wall. She tapped it three times, and to Wonder Woman’s delight, the wall spun inward, revealing an opening.
Three, Wonder Woman wrote in her notes.
“Welcome to the girls’ dorm,” Bumblebee announced.
Wonder Woman’s eyes grew wide. She could hardly contain her excitement. She had never lived in a dorm. She had never lived anywhere other than Paradise Island. Wonder Woman couldn’t wait to meet her roommates.
Just as she was about to go into Room #27, Wonder Woman froze. Someone was shouting, “When is Wonder Woman going to get here? I can’t wait to shoot her!”
Knowing that the element of surprise was crucial to thwarting any attack, Wonder Woman kicked down the door and leapt inside. Shocked by the scene that lay before her, she gasped. The room looked like it had been ransacked. Wonder Woman had never seen such chaos!
Piles of clothes and junk were strewn everywhere. A television was blasting, and so was a music video on the computer. A damp beach towel hung from the curtain rod. Camera equipment was scattered about. Empty potato chip bags were piled on papers that were piled on books that were piled on one of the beds. Wonder Woman assumed, at least, that there was a bed under it all.
“She’s here!” someone yelled.
Wonder Woman whipped around, and in a nanosecond, the girl was wrapped in the Lasso of Truth. She dropped her video camera and gushed, “I was waiting for you.”
Bumblebee, now tiny, flew into the room and landed on Wonder Woman’s shoulder. Before she could say anything, Wonder Woman demanded, “Who are you and what do you want?”
Entangled in the Lasso of Truth, the girl had no choice but to be honest. “My name is Harley Quinn, and I want to shoot a video of you for my station, HQTV,” she said, then added, “and I am totally extremely super excited to be your roommate!”