by Nicole Hart
“You coming?” Ryker said as he stopped, and looked over his shoulder.
“In a minute.” I stalled. Even though it was hot outside, I always had to work my way slowly into the water. I watched Ryker whisper something in Brooklyn’s ear, which followed by her shaking her head quickly, covering her mouth. Before I had the chance to run, Ryker was right in front of me, grabbed me around the legs and threw me over his shoulder.
“Ryker!” I screamed through my giggles.
“You better put me down, right now,” I said, pinching his butt.
“Should I put her down?” Ryker asked Brooklyn.
“Nope!” she yelled, and then laughed hysterically.
“Sorry, baby, Brooklyn says no,” he said as he started taking long strides into the water, the salty waves splashing my face.
“Throw her in! Throw her in!” Brooklyn chanted in the distance.
“Are you really about to throw me into the water?” I asked, trying to put on a sweet front, but my laughter was taking over.
“I’m really about to throw you in the water,” he said, slapping my ass and launching me into the air before my body crashed into the salty water.
I raised myself to the surface, wiped my eyes and scanned the area. He was going down. I saw him walking towards Brooklyn, just a few feet away. I started running in his direction; he looked over his shoulder and gave me a smile before I threw myself on his back. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and started flinging myself back and forth, trying to force him to lose his balance. The only reaction I got was laughter as he grabbed onto the back of my knees. He was like a solid brick wall. The next minute he was flinging both of us to the left and into the water. When we both went under, he wrapped his arms and legs around my body for just a second before releasing me, allowing me to get air. When I surfaced, all I could hear was Brooklyn’s laughter.
“You think that’s funny little missy?” I asked as I headed in her direction with my arms out.
“Ryker help!” she squealed as she ran towards him.
Ryker lifted her above his head, both of his hands on her waist, and listened to her laughter, laughing right along with her, my heart about to explode out of my chest.
“Are you a good swimmer, Brooklyn?” Ryker yelled, but watched as I nodded my head.
“I think it’s your turn!” Ryker yelled, and let out a bellowing laugh.
“NO! I mean yes! I mean no!” she giggled, and wiggled her legs with excitement.
“Is that a yes or a no?” Ryker asked.
“I think that’s a yes!” I said as I walked closer to them.
“Mom says yes!” Ryker laughed as he started to swing her forward just a little.
“Ok yes! Wait! Let me hold my nose! Ok, go!” she said, and then held her nose, filled her mouth with air and closed her eyes, waiting. Ryker swung her over his head and dropped her in the water. She sprung up out of the water and giggled.
“Do it again! Do it again! But higher this time!” she yelled, climbed into Ryker’s arms again, whether he liked it or not. But the smile on his face let me know he didn’t mind a bit.
“Oh, little dare devil are ya?” he said as he lifted her above his head again.
Attached.
Keep Your Guard Up
I decided to cook dinner for Natalie and Brooklyn after our day at the beach. Neither one of them had ever been to my apartment. It wasn’t much, a typical bachelor pad, but it was enough for me. I had never had a woman at my place, let alone a kid. My house was always my spot. My solitude. The feelings I felt creeping up on me was so different from anything before. Suddenly being alone all the time didn’t feel like it used to. I didn’t seek the silence anymore. I didn’t crave the solitude. I craved Natalie, everything about her. And Brooklyn, that was even more unexpected. I seemed to bond with her instantly. She wasn’t an annoying little kid, which is the way I saw other kids. She was cool and had an awesome sense of humor. And I had this uncontrollable urge to protect both of them.
I didn’t cook often, and didn’t cook very well, but I wanted to do this for them. So I was making the only thing I knew how to make: spaghetti. I knew Brooklyn liked Lasagna and I figured this was close enough. Besides, what kid doesn’t like spaghetti? Just as I was putting the garlic bread in the oven, my phone buzzed. I grabbed it, sure that it was Nat. But it was Cain. I didn’t want to answer it; I didn’t want him to ruin my mood. But I also knew how fucking persistent he was.
“Hello,” I said, slamming the oven door closed.
“Hey, man,” Cain said, sounding somber, sparing me of his usual overbearing tone.
“What’s wrong with you? You sound pissy,” I said with a laugh as I searched for a fucking spoon. I really wasn’t good at this cooking shit.
“Just business shit. Crave was vandalized last night and the fucking contractors are dragging their asses,” he said, followed by a loud sigh.
“Vandalized? In that neighborhood?” I was surprised.
“Some fucker decided to spray paint the building last night after we closed.”
“Do you have cameras installed yet?”
“Of course,” he said with a grumble.
“Probably some stupid kids,” I said, trying to cook and talk at the same time. I don’t know how people did this shit all the time.
“It was Johnson,” Cain said, and then I heard what sounded like a door slamming.
“Are you sure? He’s kind of a fucking joke bro; you think he would tear your shit up?” I asked.
“I’m sure, Ryker,” he said flatly.
“Are you pressing charges against him?” I asked, although I knew better.
“You know it doesn’t work like that. I want you to punish him. Shut him down once and for all.”
“You’ll have to find someone else to shut him up dude, I’m out. How many fucking times do I need to tell you that?” I said, my neck getting stiff and my jaw starting to clench. I was sick of this fucking conversation.
“He’s crossing the line, Ryker. Just one fucking fight goddamn it!” he shouted into the phone.
I ended the call before I let myself argue with him. I wasn’t going to let him get in my head. I had to keep control. A text message came through a few seconds later.
Nat: We’re here, in the parking lot.
Me: Apartment 2018
Nat: I know. Ok, I’m probably being paranoid. But there’s a hummer parked next to me, and it’s giving me a weird feeling. Just some guy sitting in it, I can feel him staring at me.
I didn’t bother replying, I ran to the front door, jerking it open and bolting down the stairs, trying to find Nat’s SUV in the crowded parking lot. I spotted a black hummer pulling through faster than it should have and I scanned the parking lot, trying to find them, my nerves putting my stomach in knots. Every second felt like a lifetime. But then I saw them.
“Thank God,” I mumbled as I slowed my sprint to a jog, watching Natalie open the back door for Brooklyn.
Once I got to her car, I grabbed her face quickly and slammed my lips against hers, then kissed her nose, and her lips again, allowing my nerves to leave my body.
“Are you ok?” Nat asked as she rested her hand on my forearm that was still close to her face, then glanced down at Brooklyn who was standing there, staring at me, her eyes wide, with a huge grin on her face.
“Are you ok?” I whispered, and then looked in all directions.
“We’re fine,” she assured me.
“We’ve been here forever,” Brooklyn chimed in, “but momma was busy on her phone. I told her our dinner would get cold if we didn’t hurry, but she kept saying one minute Brookie, just one more minute,” she said, giving me the play by play.
As we started up the stairs, Brooklyn was a few steps ahead so I took the opportunity to talk to her without Brooklyn being in ear shot.
“Did something happen?” I asked, needing to know she was ok, that they were both ok.
“No, I’m sure I was just being parano
id. Being a cop’s daughter, I always assume the worst,” she said with a nervous laugh. “It’s kind of ingrained in me.”
“This one?” Brooklyn yelled ahead of us as she stood in front of my apartment door.
“That’s the one, go on in,” I said, and she opened the front door as we walked in behind her.
“I’m sure it was nothing,” she said with a genuine smile as she looped her arm through mine.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right,” I lied. I knew better.
“Brookie, manners,” Natalie said with her stern mom voice as Brooklyn darted around my place, opening and closing doors.
“I’m just checking it out, momma,” she said as she opened the door to my spare room.
“What is that?” Brooklyn squealed as she ran inside.
“Brooklyn!” Natalie scolded.
“It’s ok,” I whispered, kissing her forehead and patting her ass before I followed Brooklyn into the room.
“That’s a punching bag.” I laughed as Brooklyn wrapped her arms and legs around the bag and tried to swing herself.
“You punch it?” she asked as she slapped it with both of her hands.
“Yes ma’am,” I said, and grinned at Natalie, who was standing in the doorway, watching, smiling.
“Will you show me how?” she asked, and I looked at Natalie for permission. She simply nodded her head.
“Ok. But we only punch for exercise, we don’t punch people,” I said.
“What if they hit me first?” she asked, and I looked at Natalie for an answer. Somehow I didn’t think ‘you beat their ass if they touch you’ was appropriate.
“If someone hits you first, you defend yourself, honey.” Oh, thank God. I was hoping she wasn’t going to give her that bull shit about walking away and find an adult. That shit didn’t work. You had to stick up for yourself.
“Got it,” Brooklyn said, giving her mom a thumbs up. “Ok, show me how to punch.”
“Ok, first you put your hands into fists, like this.” I crouched down to her level. I showed her, and she did exactly the same.
“But you have to keep your guard up, put your arms up like this, and then imagine the spot on the bag you want to hit, do you see it?”
“I see it,” she said with her fists guarding her face, looking at the bag with so much intensity.
“And then you punch, like this,” I said as I threw my fist slowly into the bag.
“Like this?” Brooklyn said as she threw her little fist into the bag.
“That’s perfect,” I said as I hit the bag gently, and waited for her to go next. We took turns hitting the bag for a few minutes without speaking.
“Ryker?” Brooklyn asked after she hit the bag again.
“Yeah?”
“Will you go with momma to take me to my first day of school?” she asked, putting her tiny hands over my fists that were still guarded in front of my face. I didn’t know what to say.
I looked over at Natalie, who quickly wiped a tear that fell from her eye, and then crossed her arms, staring at us, not giving me any indication of what she wanted. I didn’t want to step on her toes, or push my way further into their lives if she wasn’t ready.
“Um . . . I think that would be up to your mom,” I said quietly, unable to look at her, instead staring at her tiny hands still gripping my fists.
“What if it’s ok with momma, would you go?” she asked, quietly, her voice so sincere, waiting for my answer. This question felt like so much more than just a school drop off. My heart was pounding, and I felt that I was about to break out in a sweat. I glanced back at Natalie who continued to stare, biting her bottom lip; she was waiting for my answer, too.
“I would love to,” I answered honestly, and dropped my fists, dropped my guard, and hoped that Natalie would, too.
Be Brave
“Are you nervous?” I asked Brooklyn as I put the soft pink bow in her hair, running the brush through her ponytail.
“Are you nervous, momma?” she asked, putting her hands over each of my cheeks. My little girl could read me like a book. I had convinced myself I wouldn’t cry, but I was lying. I was a mess. Kindergarten. She just learned to walk. And talk. Now she was starting school. God, she would be off to college in the blink of an eye. My vision started to blur as tears filled my eyes. Damn it.
“You’re just getting so big,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her little body.
“It’s ok momma, I’ll always be your baby. Remember?” she said, patting my back, comforting me. Maybe I should just scoop her up, cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. Kindergarten isn’t that important, right? We can just try again next year. Ugh.
Suck it up, Natalie.
“You will always be my baby!” I said, smiling and standing to my feet.
“We better get a move on,” I said, grabbing her new backpack and lunch box. They were matching, hot pink and black chevron print. But the backpack included a little mustang trinket attached to the zipper, compliments of my dad. They fit her perfectly.
“Wait!” She stood with her hands raised in front of her, her eyes wide.
“What’s wrong, Brookie?”
“Where’s Ryker? He’s coming with us, right? He said he was coming.”
“Honey, he’s meeting us at the school, we both have to get to work after we drop you off, remember?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah,” she said with a sigh of relief. She had become so attached to Ryker so fast. It all made me a little nervous. What if something happened with Ryker? What if we didn’t work out? God, I hoped that didn’t happen. But shit happens to relationships all the time. What if he decided being with a woman with a kid wasn’t for him? I didn’t think that was the case, he seemed to really like Brooklyn. All these years, it had been just the two of us. I never even gave much thought to a relationship and all the things that went along with it, especially being a mom.
As we pulled into the crowded school parking lot, I glanced over at Brooklyn. She was scanning the parking lot. Was she looking at the kids or the school? No, I knew better, she was looking for Ryker’s truck.
“There he is, momma,” she said, and stuck her little finger against the window.
As I looked in the direction she was pointing, I saw him leaning against his truck, arms crossed. He was wearing those sexy ass jeans, with the hole in the knee and a fitted white t-shirt. He had a baseball cap and his aviators on. God, he was beautiful. I had to pry my eyes away from him to pull into a parking spot. I heard Brooklyn’s seat belt unclasp before I even put the car in park.
Ryker met Brooklyn at her door before I had the chance to get out.
“Hey there! You ready for today?” he asked, opening the door for her and grabbing her things once she hopped out.
“I think so,” she said with a smile as she looked around, the August sun beaming down on her.
“Mornin,’” he said as I walked beside him. He kissed my forehead and rubbed the palm of his hand against the small of my back.
“Mornin,’” I said, unable to hide my smile.
“Sorry, I’m dressed this way, I have to get straight to work,” he said as he glanced down at his clothes.
“You look just fine,” I said as I wiggled my brows, causing a little chuckle to escape his throat, and then shaking his head.
“Let’s do this,” Brooklyn said as she squeezed between us, taking both of our hands in hers, leading us towards the front doors.
As we made our way inside, the halls were overcrowded and filled with laughter, and a few cries. I looked down at Brooklyn, who suddenly looked a little nervous. I patted her hand that was holding mine as we found her classroom. The looks didn’t go unnoticed, though. I saw a dad in his slacks and button up shirt eying Ryker as he walked past us. It was a look of judgment. Asshole. We also passed a mom who almost ran into a wall, because she couldn’t stop staring at Ryker. Her look wasn’t judgment. It was lust. Skank.
Once we walked inside Ms. Burchfield’s class, we went over to Br
ooklyn’s desk, which had her name on it, which she colored on Meet the Teacher Night. The room was already full of kids and parents, trying to get everyone settled.
I looked down at Brooklyn who was looking in all directions, trying to take it all in, her eyes wide and resembling a deer in the headlights. Oh no, she was about to cry, I could see it. Ok, Natalie, it’s time to be strong for your baby, don’t cry.
“You ok, sweetie?” I knelt down to meet her eyes.
“I think I want to go home,” she whispered, her eyes welling up with tears.
“Honey, you’re going to have so much fun.” I tried to reassure her, but the truth was I would be just fine with taking her home. She didn’t answer, but her bottom lip started to quiver. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
“You’re going to make so many new friends, and Ms. Burchfield is so nice. It will be fun, I promise,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her, but then pulled away, knowing I would cry if I held her for too long. I glanced up at Ryker, who was watching intently, his arms crossed. To an outsider, he looked so intimidating, but his eyes were full of worry and that’s all I saw.
“What if they don’t like me?” Brooklyn whispered as she looked around the room.
That’s it, I was about to lose it. And, as if right on cue, Ryker got down on his knee.
“Are you kidding? You’re the coolest kid I’ve ever met. Of course they’re going to like you,” he said as he wiped the single tear from her cheek that managed to escape. “I just need you to do one thing for me,” Ryker said as he moved his head a little lower, so Brooklyn would look at him.
“What’s that?” Brooklyn said, letting out a shaky breath.
“I need you to be very, very brave,” he said as he held up his fist.
“Ok,” Brooklyn said quietly, and gave him a fist bump. “Fight without fear,” she whispered.
“Right,” Ryker said, and then leaned closer to her ear. “But, just don’t punch anyone today, ok?”
Brooklyn let out a loud giggle, and a smile spread across her face. Then she threw her arms around Ryker’s neck, squeezing him hard, laughing at the same time.