DiJana was quick to address the issue, she said, “I believe I may have some insight into the reason for the question. Frank and I have been together every minute of every hour since we first met last evening. I am very much attracted to him and him to me. However, the problem is that he insists on badgering me to have sex with him right now, and I refuse. It’s not that I don’t like sex; on the contrary, I love sex and I love to touch and be touched, but right now is much too soon. I don’t know him well enough.”
Frank was quick to respond, “What do you need to know about me, we’ve talked nearly all night about just about everything under the sun. What do you need to know about me… come on ask me anything!”
DiJana said, “I don’t need to know anything about you; what you’ve said, what you’ve done, what you have achieved is not my concern. Certainly those things matter, but that is just a small part of it. I want to know you, not just about you.
“When you go back to Honolulu,” DiJana continued, “and I to Chicago in the morning, who knows, we may never see each other again, and then this entire weekend would have been a complete waste of time. Wouldn’t it?”
“Well I…” began Frank.
“Well you what?” DiJana didn’t appear to be upset, but she was insistent as she continued, “Come on Frank, what’s so important about sharing sexual intercourse with me that can’t wait until we get to know each other a little better?”
Frank appeared somewhat perplexed when he said, “You just said that we are attracted to each other, and that is certainly true. What I can’t understand is why you can’t share a sexual experience with me for the simple pleasure of the senses.”
DiJana was about to respond as Frank raised his hand and continued, “I am fully aware that this sharing of pleasure can only be accomplished fully if there is no conflict between the standards of your mind and the desires of your body. So I guess the primary question I would pose to you is, is there conflict between the standards of your mind and the desires of your body?”
DiJana lowered her head and smiled, and then she responded sort of to Bonnie and Hank, but really to no one in particular, “He sure did cut to the chase didn’t he.” Then she looked directly at Frank and said, “Well, I’ll be perfectly candid with you, Frank; I want you as much as you appear to want me.”
Frank sat up and grinned. This time it was DiJana’s turn to raise her hand. As Frank was about to respond, she said, “The conflict is that I am seeking a long-term relationship, and I get the distinct impression that once you leave here that’s it, you’re gone. I just refuse to be a one-night stand, and whatever you say to me during this weekend, there is no way I am going to allow you to penetrate my sexual orifice. Is that understandable enough for you?”
The silence was deafening, no one seemed inclined to say anything for a few minutes. Hank wanted to change the subject; on the other hand, he thought to do so would leave their relationship in an unsatisfactory state.
Fortunately for them, the doorbell rang. It was the snack tray being delivered. He told Frank to just sit there; he’d handle the delivery. He tipped the delivery person, placed the snack tray near the frig and said, “Maybe we need to address this issue of sex and the human psyche directly, gang. What do you say?”
Bonnie tuned in with her comments to everybody and said, “I think that’s an excellent idea, Hank, ‘cause I think we need to clear the air on this sex issue if the four of us are going to be close friends and not just acquaintances.”
Then she addressed her comments directly to Frank and said, “It appears to me, Frank that you are seeking to add to your mantel of self-esteem by the quick release of emotional energy through sex: for want of a better phrase, I’d call it instant gratification.
“On the other hand,” she was addressing DiJana, “you, DiJana, are seeking a long-term relationship, and at this time in your life, apparently, you feel that you need a Love partner who will address that need. In other words, it appears that the two of you are on different wavelengths. What that means is that those differences will continue to make it difficult for you to make contact with each other that will satisfy the both of you at the same time. Does that make sense to you?”
All three of them were all looking at Bonnie, and Bonnie looked over at Hank as if to say, “Give me some support will you!” So he said, “That’s one reason Bonnie and I are so close; when we first met we were on the same frequency at the same time, and everything meshed just right for us. And to partially answer your question, Frank, about when we first slept together; we did not sleep together the first day we met.”
Bonnie grabbed the lead again and said, “What we are saying is that sex is one thing and love is a different thing. Sex is physical, love is mental; one can exist without the other; however, a marriage of the two is ideal, but not a necessity. In our case the two appeared on the scene at the same time and our mental/physical-linked marriage was born.”
“That was nearly forty years ago.” Hank added and continued, “Years through which we have not seen nor talked to one another. But the link is still alive.”
Bonnie dotted the “i” and crossed the “t” when she said, “Alive and vibrant, I might add.”
“What we are saying,” Hank felt like they were rolling pretty well so he continued in the same vein, “is that sex can be beautiful; however, many people really have a serious problem separating sex from love, and in so doing, they get into relationships and situations that cause them long-lasting problems. I’m sure you two are like the rest of us: you don’t need to add to your list of problems.”
Hank was really enjoying the exchange; it was like a one-two punch and Bonnie kept it going. She said, “There is no doubt that the body is a wonderful machine, and the sensations it produces are marvelous, but those sensations sometimes interfere with a person’s real needs…”
Frank quickly interjected with the comment, “What do you mean, ‘a person’s real needs,’ I really need sex!”
Bonnie smiled somewhat sheepishly and said, “As soon as I said it, I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that question.” Nevertheless, she continued undaunted, “I guess what I mean, is that different people need different things at different times, and of course all of us are different; nevertheless, there are certain basic things all of us need. The strange thing, though, is that they are not the same things all the time. You know what I mean?”
Surprisingly, DiJana joined in the fray. She said, “Yes, I know exactly what you mean, and I agree. Sometimes we need mental stimulation, sometimes we need physical stimulation, sometimes we need a combination of the two, and sometimes we just need to be left alone.”
Frank sullenly said, “If you are not going to have sex with me, you can leave me alone right now, but what does all that mumbo jumbo have to do with sex and love?”
DiJana was quick to respond, she said, “Well, sex is a form of physical stimulation that is very different from other forms of stimulation, say, like tennis or running. And it is a type of sharing that lays a person open in such an intimate way that it is unequaled by any other form of stimulation.”
“For example,” DiJana continued, “when a baby touches his mother’s breasts there is always a stimulating sensation of loving and caring, and protecting; however, that stimulating feeling has nothing at all to do with sex. On the other hand, when the mother touches that same breast without the baby, the feeling she experiences might depend on her mind-set: if she is romantically inclined she might seek to sexually stimulate herself by directing her attention toward a past or imagined sexual experience.”
Neither Hank nor Bonnie said a word at that point because DiJana was expressing herself quite well, plus she was mirroring their viewpoint. She continued, “The mother may also seek sexual stimulation from someone other than herself. I know what you are going to say, Frank, and you are right, it does not have to be under the guise of love. On the other hand, the entire matter of sex is so much more complete and lasting if it is coupled with
love.”
DiJana actually seemed to close off any further discussion from Frank when she said, “As for me, that is what I am seeking; a relationship that is complete and lasting. If that is not what you are offering, then we have nothing more to discuss when it comes to sex.”
“Let me say this,” Frank didn’t appear to be rattled nor dejected, but it was obvious that he was determined to make his point of view as clear as possible, “a person’s body has two fundamental sensations: pleasure and pain. They serve as signs of one’s welfare or injury, and they act as a barometer of one’s basic alternative: life or death.
“On the other hand,” he continued, “a person’s consciousness has two fundamental emotions: joy and suffering, and they act as a barometer of the same basic alternative. They both represent estimates of that which furthers one’s life or threatens it; in other words; the body and mind work in confluence with each other; however, they both seek the unmatched, healthy and reproducible ecstasy that sex produces.”
“Undoubtedly that is true,” DiJana responded to Frank’s comment, “however, people have no choice about the capacity to feel that something is good for them or evil. In the same vein, there is no doubt that people have a great capacity to feel joy and pain. However, what people will consider good or evil, what will give them joy or pain, what they will love or hate, desire or fear, depends on their standards of value.”
Frank was about to respond, but DiJana held up her hand again and continued, “You want to enjoy sexual intercourse with me: I say sexual intercourse, in and of itself, has no value. On the other hand, under ideal conditions sexual intercourse is one answer to the need for a physical expression of one’s response to values. It happens to provide the greatest natural physical reward one can earn for the moral qualities achieved in one’s character and person; in other words, it is the emotional price paid by one person for the joy received from another.”
“Well, let me ask you this question, miss smarty pants!” Frank smiled and his eyes possessed an admiring look about them; on the other hand, the tone of his voice appeared to be an attempt to mock DiJana, “If sex has no value, how might one define value?”
DiJana was so intent on focusing her energy on Frank that it would not have surprised Hank if she didn’t even realize that Bonnie and he were still in the room. She obviously was not at all upset with Frank; in fact, she smiled a genuine smile and said, “First of all I did not say, ‘sex has no value.’ Secondly, what I did say, read my lips, sweetheart, is that ‘sexual intercourse, in and of itself, has no value.’ Thirdly, I define value as that which one acts to gain and keep.”
Frank quickly said, “Are you a virgin?”
DiJana looked at him and said, “That’s a question I probably shouldn’t answer, but I’ll answer it anyway. No, I am not a virgin!”
“Then, if value is that which one acts to gain and keep, and you no longer have your virginity; in other words, it is too late for you to keep it, then why,” Frank insisted (still smiling), “must you be so intent on keeping your legs so tightly clamped together? After all, I don’t want the whole thing, I just want a little itsy bitsy piece.”
This was getting juicy and Bonnie and Hank were enjoying the exchange; however, they sort of felt that this was such a personal exchange that maybe they should not be there. On the other hand, the professed reason they were together was to get to know one another. They certainly were doing that.
DiJana responded to Frank’s backhand plea by saying, “I may no longer be a virgin, dear Frank, but I am nevertheless a virtuous woman.”
Frank laughed, and DiJana said with muffled fury, “Go on and laugh, but I guarantee you, you will not get into these pants tonight. You see my dear sex fiend, value is that which one acts to gain and keep; however, the trick is to gain and keep that which one values. That’s where virtue comes in: it is the action by which one gains and keeps those values. And here it is in other words, just for you: virtue is the action by which a person sustains one’s standards of value.
“And what does all that mean to you, my dear weird one?” continued DiJana (still smiling and appearing to be enjoying every minute of it), “It means that the emotion of sex is a virtue only when it is used intelligently and with discrimination. On the other hand, it may be misused, and often is, to such an extent that instead of enriching a person’s core value, as it should, it debases both body and soul. That, dear one is what I refuse to allow to happen to me.”
Frank arose from the sofa and walked over to the snack tray, grabbed a sandwich, and just stood there. Then he took a bite out of the sandwich and said, “Mmmmm, good sandwich! Here, try some, this is some good stuff.” He brought the tray over and placed it on the coffee table, then reclaimed his seat next to DiJana, only a little closer this time.
“’D’, you are an incredible woman. Misuse you? I would never do that. We have known each other for less than twenty-four hours, yet you have already become very dear to me. The way you have expressed yourself is impressive and I have a great deal of respect for your position. On the other hand, at this point, I want you more than ever.
“You admitted that we are attracted to each other, and that is true. I think you are attracted to me for the same reasons that I am attracted to you. I will always be attracted to a woman who reflects the deepest vision of myself, a woman I admire, a woman who is strong and confident in her self-worth, and a woman who is the most difficult to… the most difficult to… to conquer, is the closest word that comes to mind.”
DiJana was very attentive as she nodded and said, “I understand what you mean.”
“I hope so,” said Frank, “because I really have the highest regard for you, and I want you to know that. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t want to sleep with you; in fact, there is no way I would have chosen to spend twenty-four consecutive hours with you -- and hopefully that will extend to thirty-six and beyond.”
“Frank, I think it is true of everyone,” DiJana’s tone appeared to be somewhat apologetic, “I think we all are attracted to potential mates who reflect the deepest vision of ourselves. However, I truly believe that men feel differently about inter-sexual relationships than do women.”
Frank was quick to respond, “My problem, if you call it a problem, is that I am accustomed to enjoying sexual relations frequently, and with a variety of partners. In the past few years, the variety of partners has dwindled to only about two or three on a regular basis, but the healthy exercise of my libido has become a habit that I would not like to break. In fact, it has been such a consistent and enduring habit that I believe to tell you otherwise would be unwise and, in the end, untrue.”
DiJana appeared to want to justify her refusal to share sex with Frank, as she said, “I can understand what you are saying, and under the circumstances I am wavering as to whether we should attempt to pursue a relationship at all. It would be a great deal easier of we were in the same city, or at least considerably closer than Chicago/Hawaii.
“I know there are no sure things in life, but my problem is that I am seeking assurances, number one that I don’t waste my time, and number two that I have a reasonable chance for a sound and enduring relationship.”
Bonnie and Hank looked at each other and she nodded in tacit agreement with him, Hank said, “Look, I think you two need to be alone to sort out your differences and resolve your apparent problem. Frank, you and I have been down many trails together and our Love and friendship will endure, of that there is no doubt in my mind…”
He was about to continue, but Bonnie stepped in and said, “Frank, you are a hunk and I like you. Anything I need to know about you, I’m sure I can find out from Hank. And you, DiJana, are quite a woman, and I have no doubt that you and I are of the same mold; in other words, I like you, and I think we already know each other quite well.
“I guess what we are saying folks, is that the stated reason for the four of us being here at this time was to get to know one another. Well, Hank and I think the four of
us know each other well enough already, and whether you two remain together, and we hope you do, or you go your separate ways, we look forward to including you as friends to include in our future plans.”
“Well said, sweetheart,” Hank said, as he nudged Bonnie toward the door, “Now, we’re out of here! See you at dinner in the ballroom.”
As soon as they eased the door closed and headed toward the elevator, he said to Bonnie, “Whataya think?”
“What do I think about what?” said Bonnie. “We are only two floors down, how about we just walk down the stairs?”
“Sounds good,” he said, and continued the conversation, “What do you think about Frank and DiJana? Do you think DiJana will remain virtuous amidst Frank’s protestations, or do you think he will return to Hawaii with a trophy in the form of DiJana’s panties?”
Bonnie giggled and said, “How crude!”
“I guess I’m just a crude kind of guy sometimes, hee hee.”
Bonnie said, “I think DiJana is going to maintain her stand and not give in. And I think Frank is going to support her stand, as much as he might protest otherwise.”
Hank was quick to agree.
The steps were no challenge, and as they bounded through the exit door, they rounded the corner and approached the door to Hank’s room. Bonnie said, “We have very little time before the dinner begins, and my plane leaves late this evening, plus I’ve got to get my luggage together.”
Hank opened the door to his room and they stepped inside. As soon as he closed the door, Bonnie said, “I’d like to spend just a few more minutes here alone with you before the dinner. Is that alright with you?”
He was quick to respond, “There is nothing I would like better. We’ve got to attend the dinner, but if we cut it short we might be able to spend a few more minutes after the dinner as well.”
“I’d Love to,” she said. Hank was flying high. “…but,” she added, “I can’t. I have an important meeting Monday morning and it is too late for me to back out. Look, here’s my number, call me Monday evening and we can talk about what’s in store for our future together.”
End of the Rainbow : There Lies the Portrait of My Love Page 6