by Maisey Yates
They’d been trying to spare him because of who it was. But in the end, he’d looked. Because he had to be sure.
And then he’d been the one to officially notify his brother. And nothing in all of his life, in all of his training, had prepared him to stand on the front porch in his uniform and tell his older brother that his beautiful wife wasn’t coming home. Not that night, not any night after.
Damn trees. Damn road. Two people they’d loved lost that way.
Though in their dad’s case, he’d been at clear fault. Alcohol had caused his crash. Jessie had probably swerved to miss a deer, but they’d never know for sure.
“Oh,” Sadie said, her voice muted.
“So he comes by his attitude honestly,” Eli said, walking down the stairs to the driveway. “You want to ride in the patrol car?”
She looked at him, a brow raised. “It’s a short walk. Anyway, I don’t want to have any flashbacks.”
“Emotionally traumatized?”
“Completely.”
“Good. I probably kept your ass out of trouble.”
“Ugh,” she said. “Do not act like you did me any favors. What helped was getting the hell out of this town.”
“Is that what helped?”
“Yeah. There’s not enough options here. And there’s way too much free time. I badly needed to escape.”
“So why are you back?”
She sighed loudly. “Can I get away with repeating what I told you earlier?”
“No.”
“Well, fine. That is just a damn good question.” She took a big step and her foot landed in a pile of sticks that crunched loudly beneath her boot, before she shifted, her other foot making contact with soft dirt as she continued on toward the Catalog House.
“And you don’t have the answer?”
“You know...you have to live somewhere. And I’ve had a hard time finding a place that didn’t...suck. So I’m back here. Because—” she turned partway and offered him a shrug and a sheepish smile, the setting sun igniting a pink halo around her pale hair “—well, I am. And currently, all I’ve achieved is drowned-rat status.”
“Don’t go near the barn. Connor has rat traps.”
“And cats, I hear,” she said, tromping through the tree line and into the driveway of her...his...house. He followed, frowning involuntarily as he caught a glimpse of the bare flower beds. Sure, all that had been in them before was overgrown weeds, but she had them completely stripped now.
“Those are the rat traps I was talking about.”
“Don’t talk about cats that way in front of Toby. He’s sensitive.”
“He’s probably been talking to you about his feelings too much.”
“Was that a therapist joke?” she asked, moving ahead of him and up the stairs to open the front door.
“Yeah, it was. Excuse me, I’m out of practice with jokes.”
“Obviously.”
Her cat was there, on the kitchen table, looking at him pointedly. As if he sensed that Eli had absolutely no use for him, and he was greatly offended by it. Except Eli knew that wasn’t it because it was a cat, and cats had no higher consciousness, as evidenced by their reaction to string.
He stared back at the cat.
“He is unimpressed with you,” she said.
“The feeling is mutual. Now hang on a second while I try to figure out where the water shutoff is.”
“That would be helpful,” she said. “Water shutoff valves would be helpful.”
“Connor should have left you a list of that stuff. Where it all is. Fuse boxes and water mains. Though I’m betting he doesn’t even know where it is here.”
“How long has it been since anyone’s lived here?”
“A couple of years. An older lady rented it for about ten years, until she died.”
“This place is kind of full of sad history,” Sadie said.
“Yeah. Welcome to the Garrett Ranch, where the motto is, if it doesn’t kill you...just wait.”
“That is distasteful. I’m sure.”
“Completely, but also the story of our lives. Now, I’m willing to bet your shutoff is somewhere inconvenient, like...maybe the shed outside?”
“I haven’t looked.”
“All right, come on. If we find it, I can show you how to shut it off.”
“Maybe I know how to shut it off,” she said, following him back out the door and down the stairs. “Maybe I’m a water-valve expert.”
“But you aren’t,” he said, opening the door to the shed.
“Fine. I’m not. But I usually have nearby landlords who...do this for me. Which is sort of what’s happening now, except you’re involving me. Although, I have to say, I have never had a pipe just...explode all over me before. Not a euphemism.”
“How could that be...?”
Her eyes widened and she looked at him meaningfully. “Pipes...burst...liquid all over the... Oh, wow. Think about it. Please don’t make me say it. And I’m going to stop talking now. Please shut my water off.”
Suddenly, he got it. Heat shot from his face down to his groin. This was what happened when he spent six—okay, honestly, it was closer to seven—months without sex. His mind was completely void of anything that went beyond boobs and the innuendo that had just popped up. So to speak. It was enough to...well, as she’d put it, explode his pipe.
He did not have time for this. He didn’t have the patience for it, either.
“Fine,” he growled, stalking to the pipe that was sticking out of the ground in the back of the old building, wrapped in a thick swath of insulation. He reached down and pushed the valve up. “So now your water’s off. Direct me to your flood and I can see if there’s a quick fix that won’t require you to go without water all night.”
“It’s in the upstairs bathroom. So...back to the house. And I hope you’re enjoying this tour of...things that are not finished in the yard,” she said, leading them both back to the house.
“What are you doing with the flower bed?” he asked, looking at the bare dirt.
“I don’t know... Something. I was hoping someone could tell me which plants you...plant here this time of year. I don’t know anything about flowers or grass or... I’m going to do some investigating tomorrow.”
“Haven’t you planted flowers before?”
She shrugged. “There’s never been any point. I leave before anything grows. Or...when I was in San Diego I had an apartment and I had, like, a little pineapple plant in a pot. But some asshole stole it off the balcony. So I figured unless I wanted chains on my potted plants I’d just forget it. This is nice. I don’t have to chain things to the porch.” She opened the front door and walked in, then paused at the base of the stairs. “Up that way. The one off the master bedroom.”
He sighed and walked upward, toward his watery doom. Or something like that.
He could hear her following behind, her footsteps softer and off rhythm to his own.
He walked into the bedroom and saw a few damp footprints on the wood floor, then he looked into the bathroom, where there was a sizable puddle by the sink.
He sighed heavily and got down on his knees, the water seeping through his uniform pants, then he opened the cabinet doors. “What the...hell?”
“I had to improvise,” she said, her voice small.
He leaned in and examined the makeshift stopper she’d wrapped around the pipes. A shirt, a pair of sweatpants and...a black lace bra winding it all together.
“I was about to get in the shower, so I was already naked, and then there was water and so I had to stop it, and then I had to...tie it off. With something. I think that bra is toast.”
He cleared his throat. “Probably.” He reached out and started unwinding the bra, and tried not to think about how this was the first time he’d touched a woman’s underwear in seven—okay, maybe it was more like eight—months.
It was Sadie Miller’s bra. He should focus on that. On the fact that he remembered what a gangly, hissing litt
le miscreant she’d been back when she was a teenager. All long limbs and blond shaggy hair, smelling like booze and cigarette smoke as she kicked at him while he’d tried to put her in handcuffs without breaking her slender wrists.
Sadie Miller’s bra should hold no interest for him. And neither should her breasts. Or her innuendos.
* * *
ELI UNWOUND THE STRAP a little bit more and the rest sprang free, spraying his face with water.
Sadie bit her fist to keep from whimpering as she watched Eli Garrett, on his hands and knees, fiddling with her bra. She was so mortified she wanted to flush herself down the toilet. It would be preferable to this nightmare.
She was just one giant explosion of embarrassment after the other tonight. The whole pipe euphemism? What was her problem? Why did she say things like that around him? Good gravy.
She was good at talking to people. She did it for a living. Spoke with calm authority and with self-control, and with carefully chosen words.
And here she was pointing out every innuendo and dying a million tiny deaths—not in the good French way—like some extra awkward high school geek she’d never been.
What was it about Eli that caused regression? It was a mystery to her. He made her feel flaily. And kind of...horny. And that was just stupid. Cracking lady-wood over a cop said nothing good about her deep emotional issues. She was a therapist. She really should have a better handle on this.
Though she wasn’t really a therapist at the moment. She was a bed-and-breakfast owner who was sinking her life savings into a place with leaky pipes, populated by grumpy, muscular men. Who said she didn’t make good life choices?
He unwound all of her clothing—thank God she hadn’t used her panties. She was just really, really thankful. Then he stood up, the sodden garments in his very large hand, his dark brows drawn together. “This isn’t a quick fix. You will need a plumber. Which my brother will pay for.”
“He said he wasn’t sure where all that fell in the agreement.” She reached out and took the ball of clothes, water dripping onto the floor.
“But I am,” he said, his voice hard. “It’s BS to act like he won’t pay for a burst pipe. Obviously that had nothing to do with your improvements. My brother is just being a lame landlord. Trust me, he’s not doing it on purpose. He’s just...nonfunctional right now.”
Sadie’s heart squeezed tight. “I’m sorry about his wife. I... If he ever needs to talk...”
“He would rather shove barbed wire under his fingernails. And I’m being literal.”
“Okay, then, so maybe vouchers for my services wouldn’t go over well in exchange for this debacle.”
“Connor isn’t a talker,” Eli said.
“Well, big surprise,” she retorted, dumping the wet clothes into the sink and walking out of the space that really was way too small to be sharing with a man of his stature.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It just seems like it runs in the family, that’s all.”
“Meaning?” he asked.
“You’re a little uptight,” she said, walking near the bed and feeling a sudden surge of heat and self-consciousness. Dear Lord, it was like she wasn’t even an adult anymore. Internally jittering because she was standing near both a man and a bed and they were alone.
“If by uptight you mean responsible for a shit-ton of stuff, sure,” he bit out, “I’m uptight. Do you need water?”
“I have some,” she said. “All over my floor.”
“That isn’t what I meant,” he said, his civility clearly almost at an end. “You’re going to need...coffee in the morning at least, I assume, and you need to shower.”
She lifted a shoulder. “It wouldn’t hurt.”
“Either Connor will get his ass in gear and try to fix this tomorrow, or we’ll want to call out a plumber. Either way you don’t have water tonight, because the main has to stay shut off since the pipes are so old. And it means you don’t have water until midmorning tomorrow. So, would you like to come to my place and shower and get a couple gallons of water?”
She blinked. “I...uh...”
“It’s a simple question.”
“I just didn’t expect you to extend me hospitality,” she said.
“I’m not a complete asshole.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“You say that like you don’t believe me.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, Eli, but whenever you’re around I get a tension headache. Or I end up in handcuffs. So, suffice it to say, I’m not entirely convinced that you aren’t a total asshole. Sorry.”
And she also wasn’t convinced she wanted to go to his house and get naked when he was in a nearby room. And run her hands all over her wet, slick skin, which would inevitably feel really good. And with his image so very large in her mind...
Yeah, well, again, she regressed in the company of this man. What grown woman worried about this stuff? It was...prurient. And juvenile. And things.
She needed both a shower and some water and the man was offering. So she should stop sweating, and stop insulting him, and just go with it.
“That would be great, actually,” she said. “And I’m sorry about the asshole thing.”
He put his hands on his lean hips and she took a moment to admire him. His uniform conformed to every muscle in his body; the tan shirt and dark brown tie, along with the gold-star-shaped badge honest-to-coffee did things to her insides that were unseemly.
Obviously she needed to buy batteries for her long-neglected vibrator. Dammit, how sad was it that her vibrator was neglected. A sex life, sure. People had crap to do. Who had time to go around hooking up and sweating and making walks of shame? She certainly didn’t.
But she barely took the time to orgasm anymore. And when she did, she had to kick Toby out of the room, because it was awkward, and then it sort of felt like she was announcing her masturbatory intentions to her cat, which felt even weirder. There was something unspeakably sad about the whole thing.
But that was the reason Eli’s presence had her so shaken. That was her story, and she was sticking to it.
“Whatever,” he said. “Come with me.”
He certainly didn’t make a big song and dance about graciousness. He almost seemed burdened by inescapable chivalry, which was sort of hilarious, or would be if she wasn’t so busy marinating in her embarrassment.
“Let me get some clothes,” she said. “You can wait downstairs.” Because she would probably fizzle into an ash ball and blow away in the wind if he watched her pull a new bra out of a drawer.
“Fine,” he said, walking out of the bedroom and swinging the door partway closed. She waited until she heard his footsteps on the stairs before rummaging for new clothes. She pulled out a long-sleeved thermal shirt and a pair of black yoga pants, and a new bra and panties. And then she got a duffel bag to conceal it all in.
She stuffed the clothes inside and walked downstairs to where Eli was waiting, standing there staring at Toby, who was still on the table, looking defiant.
“I’m ready,” she said. “Do you have jugs at your place?”
“Yes,” he said. “We always save a bunch for target practice, so that won’t be a problem.”
Holy hell, she really wasn’t in San Diego anymore. She was in Oregon, no question at all. “I should have guessed.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, holding the door for her.
“Nothing. I just forgot the kinds of things you good ol’ boys get up to in your spare time. I’ve been living in a city, if you recall.”
“You’ve been gone for how long?” he asked, walking down the front porch steps. She followed him closely, clutching her bag to her chest. Looking at his dark brown pants, which seemed to be giving his butt a hug while shouting, “Look at it! Look at it!”
“Ten years.”
“And where have you been in those ten years?”
“Polite conversation?” she asked.
“Why don’t w
e try it?”
“I’m game if you are. Okay, I went to three different schools in four years. I started in Tampa, because, parties and the beach. Which is nothing like the beach here. Turns out, I hate college parties and breathing in Florida is like inhaling soup. So I lasted a year there. I basically toured the South.” She increased her pace to keep up with Eli’s long strides, following him down the darkened driveway. He pulled a flashlight off his belt and used it to light up the bark-laden ground. “Louisiana, North Carolina, and after I graduated I went to Texas, which you really don’t want to mess with, just ask the locals.”
“After that you went to California?” he asked.
“Nope. After that there was New York, Chicago and Branson.”
“Branson?”
“Missouri. It’s Las Vegas for families, Eli. Incidentally, I also lived in Vegas, but not for long. Then I went to the Bay Area and quickly discovered I couldn’t afford to live there unless I wanted to donate a kidney to science, and then I went to San Diego. And now I’m back...here.”
He stopped walking, the flashlight beam still directed at the ground. “I can’t imagine picking up and moving that much.”
“No?”
“I’ve got too much to pack up and bring with me. You know, Connor, Kate, all their stuff. The cows. Plus, there’s this land. Our family land.”
“Yeah, well, it’s just me and Toby. We travel light.”
He started walking again, continuing on straight down the drive. “I’ll regret asking this, because...I shouldn’t care. But what the hell did you expect to find moving from place to place?”
She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. Everywhere is so different. I managed to trick myself into thinking that I’d find a place that made me different. And to a degree, it’s true. Every place changes you a little. When I was doing therapy, I was a crisis counselor, so I always dealt with people going through the worst things possible. Every patient I spoke to changed me in some way. Every home I lived in, every restaurant I ate at... But...the one thing I’ve never done is go back to a place. I’ve only ever gone somewhere new. I thought I would see what it was like.”