by Ivy Smoak
"Rape isn't even allowed in the seediest sex clubs. And the Society is pure class. Search for it...I'll wait."
I did a quick search function for the word rape. The only place it appeared was clause 49, which was a list of behaviors that would result in immediate termination. "Okay, fine. Rape isn't allowed." I heard footsteps in the hall. "Hold on, I think my doctor might be back." I listened for a second, but it turned out to just be someone else walking by. "False alarm. Wasn't him."
"Him?" asked Chastity. "I thought your doctor was some old polish lady?"
"She couldn't see me today, but the pediatrician in her office was nice enough to squeeze me in."
Chastity gasped. "Oh no. Another child molesting foot freak?"
I was going to explain that he was neither a podiatrist nor a pedophile, but it wasn't worth it. "No, just a children's doctor."
"Is he hot?"
Of course she'd ask that. "Depends. Are you into tall blonde guys with dreamy blue eyes?"
"How tall?"
"Six feet. Maybe six one?"
"Um, yes please. Can you send me a picture?"
"No."
"Boo. You're lame." Chastity sounded heartbroken. But then she made an excited squeal. "Oh my God. What if this is your first wish?"
"What?"
"Think about it. When else have you gone to a doctor that's super-hot?"
Huh. "Never."
"And what's like...the number one fantasy for women? Doctors!"
"Actually, that's fourth on my list." Right behind my Jack and the Bean Stalk fantasy. "And anyway, that's not what I wished for. I wished for free shoes and revenge on Joe. This has nothing to do with either of those things. Although I guess the contract did make it seem like I would be participating in wishes other than my own."
"Aha! I knew it!"
I glanced over at the GenieMD poster. Was that a sign that this was sanctioned by the Society? It didn't have their logo anywhere, but it was still related to genies and wishes. I wasn’t ready for this. I hadn’t even finished reading the contract yet. Oh God, was that why my doctor was taking so long to return? So that I’d have time to be prepared for whatever weird wish this was? "Shit, I gotta get out of here."
"Are you crazy? You're about to get to play doctor with a gorgeous man. That's like every girl's fantasy."
"Fantasy is the operative word there. As in, imaginary. Not real."
"What was the mission statement again?" asked Chastity.
"The Society provides a safe space for the fulfillment of our members' wildest fantasies."
"Boom. You're definitely experiencing a fantasy right now."
"I don't know. Sex in a doctor's office seems cool in my head, but now that I'm here...eh. Getting probed on this awkward exam table feels more like a nightmare."
"Well that's because you’re thinking of it as getting probed. Instead, think of it as getting ravished. Or devoured."
"Now I'm picturing him as a cannibal." I scrolled up to double-check that cannibalism was not on the list of expected behaviors.
"You just have to relax and have fun with it."
"You do know who you're talking to, right? I can hardly have a conversation with a stranger, much less seduce one."
“Well, you don’t have a choice, Ash. I’m invoking Single Girl Rule #8.”
“No.”
“You said he was tall and handsome. I bet he has 8 abs and 8 inches…”
“Stop it.”
“And if a man has 8 abs and 8 inches, he can’t be refused.”
Fuck my life. I hated these damned rules. But also…it had been a really long time since I’d had sex. “My fire extinguisher hasn’t come in yet.”
“Would you stop it with the flaming pants incident? You can’t set him on fire in a doctor’s office. You’re completely safe. All you have to do is play along with the doctor fantasy and everyone will come out unscathed.”
"But I don't know him."
“Exactly. Isn’t that the whole point of your list? To try new things? To figure out what you truly like? To freaking live your life? It’s exactly what you’re trying to do.”
I never should have told her about my list. “Chastity…”
"This is your chance to get to know someone new. With your body."
"Ew, no. I don't do one-night stands."
"Because you married the first guy you ever dated. Taking a few men for a test drive sounds like just what you need. It's not like the next man you find will think you're a virgin. And anyway, guys don't care about that. Most guys would be super freaked out if a 28-year-old woman was a virgin."
"I guess."
"Then what could it hurt?"
"The cleanliness of my…mouth." It came out as more of a question than a statement. Because I had no idea what this wish would entail.
"If he's in the Society then he must have had the same STD tests as you."
"There are germs other than STDs." Visions of viruses and bacteria multiplied in my brain.
Chastity sighed dramatically. "You're impossible. The Society is serving you up a hot guy and your fourth biggest fantasy and you're going to pass it up because you're worried about germs and being awkward?"
"Harsh."
"It is. But it's the truth. Ash, I can't just sit back and watch you be single for the rest of your life. You're too pretty and smart and wonderful for that. You deserve love. Or at the very least, a very good bang.”
"Maybe you're right." Had I just said that out loud? I was officially losing my mind. Not having sex for over a year really did something to a girl’s soul. Something filthy.
"I am. Shit, my food is here. Good luck! I hope you enjoy having your throat swabbed. Or maybe he'll give you some mouth to mouth. Or..."
I hung up before it got too gross. A million questions were swirling in my head. First there was the issue of whether or not the Society even existed. My original hypothesis that it was the work of Liz was clearly wrong. She wouldn't have spent all that money on the spa treatment, and she had no idea how to make an app. Which meant the Society was in fact real. So who invited me? Or Raven? Or did someone think my name was Raven? Was it really possible that my stalker had paid my million-dollar security deposit?
There was no way it was him. If it was, wouldn’t he be the fake doctor in the lab coat? I shook my head. It was way more likely that one of the girls at my spin class had taken pity on me after my divorce. They all probably had the money. Or at least, their husbands did.
The final and most pressing question was whether or not this doctor's appointment was a Society event. The Society had proven to be ninja-like with their delivery of envelopes, and they certainly had a lot of money if all their members made million-dollar security deposits, so maybe they had set this up. And Chastity was right...doctors that looked like Dr. Lyons were a rare breed.
The only way to tell for sure would be to play along and see how things went. The rational part of my brain told me to run away. If I stayed and tried to act out some sexy doctor fantasy, I'd probably just be awkward and mess it up. Or get his germs. No! screamed the other half of my brain - the irrational part, the part that fantasized about my stalker. It told me that Chastity was right. That trying new things was actually a way to grow as a human. I had to let go of my fears if I wanted to experience something new.
So I did.
I let my mind wander to thoughts of Dr. Lyons. He didn't need a back story like most people I saw on the streets. He already had one. He was a pediatrician who dedicated his life to healing children. If that wasn't sexy, I didn't know what was. I wondered what he was doing at that very moment. Going over lines for his role-play as a doctor? Slipping into a sexy doctor's outfit? An image of him in a tight little white dress with red crosses over his nips popped into my head. Ew. I shook my head and switched the image to him shirtless with a stethoscope around his neck. Much better.
"You can do this," I whispered to myself. I looked in the mirror and adjusted my breasts. Just then, Dr.
Lyons walked in. Did he see me? Oh God, he definitely saw me. My face started to turn red. No! Be confident!
He cleared his throat. "Sorry that I took so…long," he said in a very suggestive voice.
I turned around and saw that he was dressed just as I had hoped. The stethoscope dangled over his naked pecs.
This is really happening. I couldn't believe it.
"Good news: you're STD-free. According to the blood work, that is. I'd still like to do a few...additional tests. Just to be sure." He raised one eyebrow ever so slightly.
"What kind of tests?" I asked in my sexiest voice.
"You'll see." His eyes undressed me as he snapped on two latex gloves.
I turned away from him and pulled my shirt over my head. Then I looked back and locked eyes with him as I unhooked my bra and let it fall to the ground. His Adam's apple rose and fell as he watched me. I bit my lip slightly as I slipped out of my jeans and thong in one silky movement.
"Get on the exam table and spread your legs," he growled. It wasn't a request. It was a demand.
God this is so hot. "Yes, doctor," I said. I hopped up and opened my legs wide. The exam table paper crunched under my bare ass.
He stood still for a second. His eyes took in every inch of me. The anticipation just made me want him even more. And based on the growing bulge in his scrubs, I knew he felt the same way.
Slowly, torturously slowly, he approached me. His gloved hands traced down my thighs as he gazed into my eyes. "Try to relax, Ms. Cooper."
Relax? How could I relax at a time like this? My heart was racing a million beats per minute. If the nurse took my pulse now, she'd be horrified. I pictured her awkwardly taking my pulse as the doctor inched farther up my thighs. Was she going to walk in? I tried to see if the door was locked, but my view was blocked by Dr. Lyons’ broad shoulders. Based on the expected behaviors listed in the contract, the nurse walking in wouldn't be that surprising. Public sex and voyeurism were on the list. But rather than being horrified, I found the idea somewhat exhilarating. Or maybe it was just the fact that Dr. Lyons’ fingers were now only inches away from giving me the pleasure I wanted. The pleasure I needed.
Just before he got there, the door opened and I crashed out of my fantasy.
My heart was pounding in my chest like I’d just been caught doing something terribly dirty. Even though it had all been in my head. I hoped I wasn’t blushing when I turned to see Dr. Lyons entering the room. Much to my dismay, he was fully clothed. No stethoscope over naked man chest...yet. But for the first time, I thought I could actually do this. That I actually wanted to do this. I knew how to be sexy. And ultimately, it was his fantasy I assumed. So he’d be leading the way. I can do this. I can experience new things. This is my chance.
"I found the final page of the tests," he said. "It looks like you're STD free. At least, you don't have any of the serious ones that get in your blood."
"What about the others?" I asked.
"A quick examination should tell us everything we need to know. If you wouldn't mind pulling your pants down to your knees, we'll get this over with and then you can be on your way with a clean bill of health."
Shit! What do I do? Thanks to my fantasy, I was soaking wet. I couldn't let him poke around down there. But also…I wanted to. Or else I wouldn’t have just daydreamed about it. I took a deep breath and silently promised myself that I was going to seduce the shit out of Dr. Lyons. Just like in my fantasy.
"You think it's that easy to get into my pants?" I asked, jumping onto the exam table.
"I uh..." He was totally flustered.
Dude, step up your role-playing game. I leaned back and stuck my breasts out. "How about we start with a breast exam." It sounded more awkward than I'd hoped, so I added, "To get to know each other."
"I'm not sure that's necessary."
"But Doctor," I said in a super high-pitched voice. "I think I felt a lump the other day." I bit my lower lip and stared into his blue eyes.
"Oh, okay then." He put on a glove, not even bothering to sexily snap it, and then poked my breast hard with two fingers.
Ow. What kind of amateur hour is this? "Would it help if I take my bra off?" I asked.
He cleared his throat. "That really won't be necessary. Good news, though. I don't feel any lumps."
"You must not be doing it right, then. You have to really squeeze them. Like this." I reached up and massaged my left breast.
"If you're feeling discomfort in your breasts, it may be due to hormonal changes caused by your menstrual cycle."
Now he's talking about my period? Either he was really bad at role-playing, or he was into some seriously kinky shit. You want kinky? I’ll give you kinky.
"Time to examine my pussy," I said. "I bet you'll like it more than grabbing little boy's balls and making them cough all day, you filthy pervert." Wow, what? I wanted to take it back as soon as I said it. In my head it had sounded sexy and playful. In reality, it was the exact opposite.
"Excuse me?"
I forced a laugh. This was quickly falling apart. I thought back to my flawless fantasy. What had I done to seduce him then? That's right! The shirtless version of him had loved my striptease.
I hopped off the exam table and turned away from him. I tried to unhook my bra, but the clasp was stuck. Damned $10 JCPenney bra.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
I turned to look at him over my shoulder. "Wait and see," I said with a wink. Finally I got my bra undone and pulled my shirt off. I was about to slip my jeans off, but I started to panic. My big ass. What if he hates the stretch marks? And my vagina! The freshly waxed skin kind of looked like an alien.
Focus! I told myself. Why was I suddenly feeling so self-conscious? I hadn't felt this way at all when the fantasy was all in my head. I needed to be more like my imaginary self. She wouldn't be self-conscious of her hoo-ha. She would own that shit. Guys love vaginas. Even though Joe hadn't. In fact, he had seemed pretty scared of her.
I arched my back and started to slide my jeans and thong off all sexy, but I couldn't get them over my big ass. When I wiggled to help move things along, I lost my footing and started to fall.
Dr. Lyons caught me in his strong arms. "Are you okay?" he asked.
Finally we're getting somewhere! "Now I am," I said as I leaned in for the kiss. One of my hands gripped his broad shoulders while the other wandered to his crotch. I grabbed his huge, erect... Nope. He was flaccid. Not even half-mast. Completely and utterly limp. Like he was ice-fishing naked in January.
"Whoa!" he yelled, dropping me on the ground. The linoleum was hard and cold against my half-naked ass. "Okay, no. This is totally inappropriate. This appointment is over."
He stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut.
My tail bone ached, but I hardly noticed. I was too busy thinking about how much I had just embarrassed myself. My worst nightmare had just come true. I would never be able to show my face in this office again. Possibly even in public.
"Well that could have gone better," I muttered.
In all fairness to me, though, I had tried. He was the one who wasn't into me. What kind of wish was that?
And then it hit me. No. It wasn't a wish at all. It had nothing to do with the Society. The GenieMD poster had just been a coincidence. Oh my God, what the fuck did I just do?! This had just been a normal doctor's visit. Well, normal until I had forced him to fondle my breasts and then called him a filthy pervert.
Fuck my life.
I was an embarrassment to the world. I could never leave my apartment again.
Chapter 10 - Homeless Rutherford Strikes Again
Friday
My night of hermitting was everything I’d ever wanted. I'd snuggled up on my couch with my kindle and some boxed wine and gotten lost in a world where an awkward college girl seduces her professor. I even lit a candle that smelled like fresh apple pie. For a few hours, I was able to pretend like I hadn't practically raped Dr. Lyons.
But
then I started to get hungry. I looked in the fridge, but I was pretty much out of everything. Damn it! Going to the grocery store would involve me leaving my apartment, so that was out. I wasn't about to break my vow of reclusivity. Really there was only one viable option: order some ‘za.
I opened the website for Nico's Pizza and was all ready to check out when a horrible thought occurred to me. I'm going to have to interact with the pizza guy. That was a problem. After my experience at the doctor's office, it was clear that I couldn't be trusted around other humans. I'd probably panic and answer the door completely naked. I’d probably make weird innuendos about extra sausage and drop to my knees instead of just signing the stupid receipt.
How awful would that be? And what if it wasn't even the pizza boy at the door? What if it was a SWAT team coming to take me in on rape charges? In that case, answering the door nude would basically be a signed confession. They wouldn't even give me a trial. They'd just send me straight to sex rehab. Maybe that was where I belonged.
I couldn't risk flashing the pizza boy, but I also needed some pizza. So I left a comment in the delivery instructions: "Please knock and leave the pizza on the welcome mat."
I had only just gotten back under my blanket and turned on my kindle when there was a knock. It had only been like...a minute since I ordered the pizza. That would have even been fast for the Chinese takeout place down the street. I was still working out how they delivered so quickly, but ninjas were definitely involved.
"Leave it on the mat!" I yelled. How long should I wait to go get it? If I went too soon, I risked compulsively molesting the pizza boy. But if I waited too long, I risked Homeless Rutherford stealing it. Or worse...he might just lick all the hot cheese and then leave it there as a germ-trap. This wouldn’t be the first time. He was a monster.
There was another knock.
"I said leave it on the mat!" I yelled even louder.
"Ash!" he yelled. But he sounded very feminine. Maybe it was actually just a woman. "Let us in!"
Shit! The SWAT team is here! And they even sent female officers so that I wouldn't try to rape anyone. Clever...
"We're coming in!" yelled the officer.