I curled into my body pillow, arms around it, head on it, like I always did, like it was a boyfriend replacement, the only way I could sleep well.
And I drifted off to sleep to the sound of his breathing.
I woke up, well, not where I had been sleeping.
I woke up, still clinging to my fluffy, girly body pillow, but considerably higher than I should have been. This was because I was no longer on the mattress; I was up on Duke's chest.
My eyes went huge as I tried to think of a way to move off him without disturbing him.
It was about then that I realized his hand was still on my hip. But it was moving in lazy circles.
Duke was awake.
As if sensing my alertness, his very awake voice greeted me. "Good morning."
I pushed up, looking down at him with wide eyes, immediately yanking my body pillow down from where it was settled next to his face, way too girly next to way too manly a guy.
"Way I figured, you were trying to suffocate me with that fuckin' thing," he said, giving me a small, bemused smile. "Woke up to a mouth full of fluff."
"How did I get..." I started, shaking my head, sleep like a heavy fog around my head.
"Think you rolled onto your back at some point. You cried out. Woke me up and next thing I knew, you had rolled back and onto me."
Well, yeah, that was mildly embarrassing.
"I didn't mean..."
"Don't," he said, his hand raising and tucking my hair behind my ear.
Hair that I hadn't washed in three days.
Three.
"Ew, don't," I said, swatting his hand away, killing a mood that was obviously heading in a very interesting direction. But I couldn't think about that with greasy hair and morning breath.
"Ew?" he repeated, hand resting on my neck, still touching the offensive tresses.
"I haven't been able to wash my hair yet. It hurts my back to reach above my head," I admitted. I had truly tried my best when I had had my whore's bath. But it was no use. I had tears in my eyes by the second try.
"Well, we can't have that, huh?" he asked, curling upward slowly, an arm slung low on my hips, pulling me with him until I was up on my knees.
"What are you doing?" I asked as he kept pulling me until we were both on our feet at the foot of the bed.
"Washing your hair," he informed me, releasing me and turning away to go dig around in my boxes.
I about died when I realized that the box he went into... yeah, it was the one with the tampons and vibrator.
"What's the matter?" he asked a second later and I realized I was standing there with my eyes squeezed shut as if I was anticipating him grabbing the vibrator and waving it around while laughing at me. If how hot my cheeks were was any indication, I was blushing too. When I said nothing, his brows drew together as he held up my matching light blue shampoo and conditioner bottles. "Ready?"
"I, um, yeah," I said, tossing my body pillow on the bed and moving into the bathroom.
Duke went and grabbed a towel then moved toward the shower, pulling open the curtain and putting the bottles down on the ledge. "Here, kneel on the edge. I can pull the shower head down. If you hang your head over a little, we should be able to do this without pulling at your stitches."
With that, he turned on the tap and felt for the temperature as I knelt and hung my head as far as the pain in my back would allow. There was a pause before I felt the spray on my head. It went on for a couple minutes before it stopped and I could hear Duke snapping open the shampoo before I felt his hands move into my hair.
Right then, I decided- forget back rubs, foot massages, wining and dining, flowers, candy, jewelry, long, drawn-out make-out sessions.
The absolute ultimate form of foreplay?
Yeah, it was having a man wash your hair.
His fingers scrubbed into my scalp, making not only that area tingle, but another area that was decidedly lower than my head tingle as well. It took damn near all my self-control to not moan while his fingers worked their magic. I was vaguely aware of the water and more scrubbing before I was pulled my my little sensual daydream by the feel of him squeezing the water out then scrubbing a towel over my head.
"Alright, all done," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder and pushing me straight again, watching my face. Really, there was no way he missed it. My eyes felt heavy, my lips were parted, my breathing was shallow. I was turned on. I watched as the realization crossed his face, as his own eyes got a tad heavier, as his breathing deepened. His head tilted to the side and his lips tipped up into a ghost of a smile. "Yeah, like it when someone toys with my hair too," he said, acknowledging the moment and diminishing my embarrassment.
He said that while continuing to dry my ends with the towel and while it was nothing compared to the scrubbing, yeah, it was still effective. My sex clenched hard and I wavered toward him.
He shook his head slightly, denying us both. "Did you just move to the area?" he asked, surprising me enough to jerk back slightly.
"Ah, yeah. Um, my grandmother broke her hip so I decided to move back to keep an eye on her." When he didn't say anything, I felt the need to fill the silence. "I'm from here, well, Jersey, originally. I moved to Florida after high school. But, um, yeah. I'm back."
Well, that was about the least eloquent I could have possibly been.
Duke nodded and said something that sounded like 'clean' under his breath. Figuring he meant my hair, I rose my hand to it, raking my fingers through the knots.
"Yeah, it feels so much better." Duke took a step back and tucked his hands into his pockets. "Thank you," I added, dropping my hands, feeling awkward.
He shook his head at me. "Want some food?"
"God yes," I said before I could stop myself, making him stop on his way toward the bedroom.
"You know you could help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen," he said, looking worried that I hadn't eaten.
"I know, but I felt weird. And everyone is keeping a distance from me like I'm catching or something."
To that, he looked a little sheepish as he ran a hand across the back of his neck. "Guess I shouldn't have told them all to leave you the fuck alone then, huh?"
"Should have guessed you were behind it," I said with a smile as I brushed past him and into the room.
"Didn't want you to worry about any of them getting ideas."
"Because Reign banned the, ah, what did Cash call them? Clubwhores?" I asked, scrunching my nose up at the term, making Duke chuckle. "Is that what I think that is?"
"Probably slightly less sinister. But only slightly," he admitted and I appreciated the honesty.
"You guys have a strange life going on here."
To that, he shrugged as he led me into the kitchen. "Most of these guys already come from violent backgrounds so it's the norm for us."
"Did you come from a violent background?" I asked, knowing I was prying but wanting to ask regardless.
He turned back at me, eyes a little guarded. "Yeah, babe."
"I'm sorry," I said as he grabbed some stuff out of the fridge and moved it to the counter.
"Long time ago," he said, back to me.
"What are you doing over there?" I asked several minutes later after all he seemed to do was shuffle items around.
To that, he half-turned to me, shaking his head with a somewhat boyish smile. "Fuck if I know," he admitted with a grin.
I laughed too, crossing the room toward him and checking out the food he had laying there. "In what universe did you think that broccoli, feta cheese, and yogurt would go together?"
"I have no fuckin' idea what chicks eat. I can throw some meat on a grill and that's about the extent of my cooking skills."
"Well, allow me to bring you into the twenty-first century, caveman," I teased, bumping into his shoulder with my arm to push him over slightly. "Rule number one," I said, picking up the cheese and yogurt. "Just because the food all goes to the same place does not mean you can eat it all together."
So then I taught Duke how to cook.
EIGHT
Duke
She taught me how to cook.
Really, I could give fuck-all about learning how to cook. That was what takeout was for. But she seemed to brighten up at the idea of teaching me and I'd be damned if I soured her mood just because I didn't really ever think I would have the need to know the difference between white and red onions.
It was nice to just hear her talk honestly. I was starting to wonder if she wasn't more traumatized than any of us realized with how tight-lipped she had been since she showed up.
And when she did speak, she seemed to trip over her words, like she was nervous.
Like I made her nervous.
I didn't like that shit.
But as she prattled on about cheddar jack cheese, there was none of that. Her voice was strong and even. Her moves were more effortless, less clumsy. Her shoulders relaxed. Her eyes lost some of their hollowness.
It was a fuckin' sight to see.
After she had talked to Lo earlier, Lo had talked to me. Which had me and Wolf over at her apartment, collecting her mostly-packed boxes and piling them into the back of Wolf's pickup.
I had sent him ahead and ran back in, pounding on the useless super's door for five minutes before he dragged his lazy, fat ass out of bed and answered the door, rubbing his stomach with one hand while tipping back a beer with the other. "Yeah?"
"Apartment 2B," I said.
"Need to get into it?" he asked and I felt myself stiffen.
"If I said I did?"
"I got a key here somewhere," he said, looking inward at his apartment.
"You realize I don't live there, right?"
"Yeah. No. That pretty blonde chick does. The one with the ass," he added, making my hands curl into fists at my sides.
"But you'd let me in?"
"The fuck do I care?" he asked, reaching for something inside and pulling out keys.
I reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt, dragging him out into the hall then slamming him against the wall hard enough for his teeth to knock together audibly. "Listen you fuck," I growled, getting close enough to smell garlic seeping through his pores. "I fucking care. And because I fucking care, you are going to fucking care from this day on. No one gets let into her apartment but her. In fact, if someone so much as lingers in front of her door for more than two seconds, you better the fuck know about it. And when you know about it, you let me know."
"Listen, I don't know who..." he started and I reached into my back pocket and shoved an envelope into his chest.
"That is the next two months of rent for 2B. You see anyone sniffing around her place, you can find me at The Henchmen compound," I said, dropping that bomb and watching realization etch fear into his face. "Yeah, thought that might change your mind about the situation," I sneered, pulling back and shoving him back again harder, making the beer slip from his hand and hit the ground with a thud, rolling a few feet to our side. "Got it?"
"Yeah, yeah man. I got it."
With that, anger churning like acid in my stomach, I went back to the compound and unloaded her stuff. I hadn't been lying when I said I warned the guys off of her. Most of the guys would probably never even make eye-contact with the shit I had threatened them. It was so that even Wolf hadn't ventured into my room. He had taken it all out of his truck bed and piled it in the hall right outside, standing beside it, waiting for me.
"She alright?" he asked, watching the door like she was going to run screaming from it at any moment.
"Honestly? Dunno. She's skittish and freaked. Lo told me to try not to worry about it too much, that she would be fine. Not sure I believe it though."
Wolf nodded, pushing off the wall. "Get some sleep," he said as he wandered off.
So then I went in and woke her up as I dropped her shit.
It wasn't like me to pass out like I had. I was never an easy sleeper. It usually took me hours to pass out. But it had been a hell of a couple of days and I was out before I could even think to move to the cot.
Waking up to her moving up on my chest, yeah, that was a real test to willpower right there. Took every fucking thing I had in me to grit my teeth and not react to the fact that her body wiggled against mine and she sighed in her sleep, making me hard as fuck with no effort on her part.
I almost fucked up and kissed her again too. Right before she talked about her hair being dirty. I was close. She was all sleepy-eyed and sweet and I had been up for hours trying to list the million or so reasons why fucking her would be a complete disaster for the both of us.
Then when she looked up at me a while after when I was done washing her hair, eyes heavy, lips begging to be kissed, breasts rising and falling too fast to be anything other than turned on, yeah. I deserved a fucking award for the restraint I showed.
And, watching as she chopped tomatoes to throw in the God damn quesadillas she was making, enough of them to feed the entire compound, I realized it was good. It was good I wasn't complicating things by making it physical between us.
True, there was an attraction.
But therein was the problem.
She was attracted to me because she was alone and scared and hurt and confused and I was the one who was there to hold her, to feed her, to give her reassurances.
I was attracted to her because, well, I was worried it was because what Renny said was right. I was worried it was a cycle.
And fuck if I hadn't spent my entire God damn adult life trying to break it, trying to get free from all that shit.
But there was no way to tell if what I felt was just a genuine reaction or something deeper, something more vile.
Which was why nothing was going to happen. No matter how much my sheets and my tees all smelled like her. No matter how much she looked up at me with need in her eyes. No matter that she was five feet away from me all night in a bed I knew she would happily share with me.
It was a bad idea.
"Ah, Duke?" she said, snapping me back to the present. Her head was cocked to the side, her hair halfway dry, her lips quirked up at one side.
"Sorry. Spaced out," I admitted.
"Guess culinary arts isn't a huge interest of yours," she said with a shrug, not offended. "I asked if maybe you would bring some of these out to the guys?"
"You should bring them out. You made them."
"Yeah, but..."
I shook my head, grabbing the plate piled with the damn things and shoving it into her hands. I grabbed a pile of paper plates, put a hand on her shoulder and steered her out toward the main room.
"Penny made everyone food," I declared, making all the heads turn in our direction, causing Penny to go back a foot and almost bump her back into me before I pushed her forward again. If there was one way to get the attention of a room full of bikers, aside from telling them that the bitches had showed up, it was to declare that there was food up for grabs.
Repo was the first to walk up, taking a plate from me and putting a wedge on it. "Making me look bad here, honey. I'm usually the one to cook."
"Well, I, ah, was teaching Duke to, um, cook so..."
"Oh yeah?" Cash asked, walking up, giving her one of his smiles. "How'd that go for you?"
Penny looked over her shoulder at me, giving me a lopsided smile. "He's not the... best student."
When the guys laughed, she looked over her shoulder at me again, her smile maybe a little victorious, like she was glad she got on their good side.
The smile fell, however, when the door flew open and Reign came barreling in, face grim.
"What is it?" Wolf asked immediately, body going tense.
"The garage was torched an hour ago."
"The garage?" Repo repeated. "My garage?" he added, shoving his plate to one of the guys who was passing him. "To the ground?"
"Afraid so," Reign said, nodding, raking a hand down his face. "Duke, maybe get..." he started, nodding his chin at Penny.
Get Penny out of there so we co
uld discuss club shit.
"It's okay. I'll go," Penny said, body tense. She put the giant platter down on the coffee table and moved to walk away. I snagged her wrist, grabbing a couple wedges of quesadillas and piling them on a plate.
"I'll be in when we're done here," I told her, making one of the stupid fucks whistle.
"What?" he asked when I glared at him. "She's hot. I'd be all up in that shit too."
"Careful, he's touchy about his cornfed blondie," Renny said, moving in to my side.
"Cut the shit," Reign growled. "We have someone killing our men, beating up women, and burning our business to the fucking ground. We don't have time for this petty club bullshit."
"Should we put some men out front the gym?" Cash asked.
"They'd have targets on their chests," Reign said, shaking his head.
"So, what? We just keep letting them attack us while we sit on our hands?" Bruno, a younger, ugly fuck asked, hands curling and uncurling into fists at his sides.
"Watch it," Wolf growled, warning him about overstepping lines.
"We're all itching to get this shit handled," Reign said, shaking his head. "But what do you suggest, Bruno? You want to just go around killing everyone who might be a threat? We don't have enough fuckin' bullets for that shit. Don't give me your fucking frustration. I got enough of my own."
"When are we heading out to see the Russians?" Repo asked, drawing my attention. I hadn't heard shit about the Russians.
"You and me will be leaving tomorrow. And at the same time, Wolf and Renny will be heading out to see the Mexicans. In my absence, Cash is obviously in charge. In his absence for whatever-the-fuck reason, I'm leaving it up to Duke." I felt myself stiffen. He would leave me in charge? Granted, only in the instance that he, Wolf, Cash, and Repo were not around, but it still meant something. "It goes without saying that the women and kids will stay up at Hailstorm. As for the rest of you, no more walking rounds. I want you on the roofs and behind the ballistic shields Lo dropped off. One on each side of the building, watching each direction. Shifts change every six hours so no one gets lazy. Anything else I'm forgetting?" he asked, looking around.
Duke (The Henchmen MC Book 5) Page 9