“You’ll see.”
“Okay, let’s try another question. Where?”
Steele gestured to the room. “Hades is the only game in town. Meet you here at seven?”
She hesitated.
“Come on. Don’t say no.”
Ash got to her feet. “Fine, see you later tonight.” Ash walked out before she agreed to anything else.
***
Steele was nervous.
He waited on the sidewalk in front of Hades. He hadn’t been on an honest to God date in…well, never. Drinks with a woman at a bar didn’t count. He couldn’t recall being this stirred up since he’d gone over to the Calhoun house as a teen, and he’d worked himself into a tizzy every damn time.
Earlier, Steele had showered, shaved, and slapped on some citrus-scented aftershave. He’d even dressed up a bit—denim shirt, a newer pair of jeans, and the boots Cowboy had given him for Christmas. Instead of his cut, he wore a black Carhartt jacket.
And then he saw Ash, striding toward him with swaying hips.
Fuck me, she’s in a dress.
Ash wore a black lace number showing a teasing amount of cleavage. She wore matching heels too. When she got closer, he admired the red nails and lips. And she’d worn his jacket. His name and old jersey number were on the back. It was as close as he’d get to putting his name on her.
She looked him up and down. “You clean up real good.”
“So do you.” He should’ve done this years ago, Abe’s objections be damned.
“Oh, this? Fifteen-ninety-five on clearance.” Ash smoothed the dress, running her fingertips over her hips. “Walmart carries both ammo and dresses.”
“Ain’t that convenient? Let me escort you to the table.” Steele offered her an arm. “I called in a favor, and Voodoo made us somethin’ special for tonight.”
With a smile, Ash took it and he walked her inside. It was a promising beginning to his first real date.
Voodoo had made them grilled salmon with roasted asparagus, which was healthy enough to please her without making Steele gag on chick food. Throughout the meal, they made pleasant conversation, mostly talking about their shared past—old friends and warm school memories. It went way more smoothly than Steele had thought it would.
He held his breath when Voodoo returned with dessert—chocolate mousse, her favorite. His brother served the mousse in chilled parfait glasses with whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top.
Voo set the glasses down on the table with a flourish. “Chocolate mousse, my grandmere’s recipe. It’s good juju, so I made enough for the whole diner. Bon appétit."
Steele glanced around the room, and sure enough, everyone had glasses of the rich dessert. Justice and Ace poked at theirs with spoons, as if they expected the dessert to bite them.
“This looks amazing.” Ash dipped a fingertip into the cloud of whipped cream and licked it clean. She beamed at Voo. “Thank you.”
Steele imagined her licking other things. He shifted in the seat, trying to get himself under control.
Voo cast him a knowing look, but Ash was too busy admiring the chef’s artistry to notice.
“Yeah, thanks, brother. Now go away.” Steele shooed him off with one hand.
Tossing a towel over his shoulder, Voo sauntered away like a king in his own castle.
Ash smiled. “I can’t believe you remembered.”
“How could I forget?”
Their graduation night had been burned into his memory. He’d known an era was coming to a close, so he’d drank in every sight, every sound. And he didn’t mean leaving high school and starting his adult life. Steele knew Ash would no longer be a fixture of his life. Sure enough, they’d only seen each other a few times afterward.
Not to mention watching her enjoy the decadent dessert had been erotic as hell—the cream on the corner of her mouth, the way she’d closed her eyes as she savored the dark chocolate on her tongue, how she’d held his gaze as she licked the back of the spoon.
Damnation, he was already hard. Steele dragged his coat over his lap.
She raised a curious brow.
“Cold,” he muttered. “You’d better dig in. Voo takes juju seriously. If you don’t eat some, he might slit your throat with a butter knife.” Steele was only half joking. He took a spoonful of the mousse and glanced over at Voo, who watched them from the counter.
His brother nodded and then turned to another patron.
Ash savored her dessert while Steele watched with a white-knuckled grip on the edge of the table. When she finished hers and lapped at the spoon, Steele pushed his own glass forward.
“You’re sure you don’t want it?”
Steele nodded.
“Why?”
He crooked a finger as he leaned forward, and she met him in the middle. His gaze dropped to her mouth. “Why do you think?”
“Ohhhh.”
With a wicked grin, Steele leaned back in his seat and watched.
Ash slowly finished the mousse, taking her sweet time with it just to torture his sorry ass. And fuck if it wasn’t hotter than any porn flick he’d seen.
After he paid the bill, they stood outside together, shivering in the cold. There was an awkward silence between them. Usually, he was much smoother about these sorts of things.
Ash wrapped her arms around herself. “Well, uh, thank you for dinner. It was fun.” She hooked a thumb at the sidewalk. “I should head back to the hotel.”
“Come home with me.” He blurted the words out—no seduction, no bullshit, just honest to God need.
She looked away. “We shouldn’t.”
“So that’s it? We find Coyote or…we don’t…and then go our separate ways?”
Ash squeezed his arm. “Steele, we’re gonna find him. And as for separate ways, that was always the plan.”
Steele hooked a finger in her jacket pocket and towed her closer. “It doesn’t have to be. Your job ain’t good for you. You don’t gotta home or friends. All you’ve got is the work.” His own life left felt empty at times, but at least he had the brotherhood.
“Believe me, I know.”
“Then why go back to it? You could…” Steele had to force the words out. “You could stay here.”
Ash looked up sharply.
“With me.”
“Steele…”
“Come on, Dusty. No matter how many drug kingpins you catch, it won’t bring Abe back.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
Steele pulled her into his embrace, but she pressed her arms between them, pushing at his chest—not letting him in. “This job is killin’ you.”
Her eyes were shiny. While she didn’t agree with the comment, she didn’t try to convince him otherwise either. “And what would I do here? Become a biker?”
Steele grinned. “No chicks in the club. But there’s plenty of bounty hunter work in Texas. I work it in as a side hustle sometimes. You’d be damn good at it too. And you could live here in Hell, put down some roots, get to know people. Maybe make some friends.”
“Like Ace.”
“No, not like Ace. Fuck Ace. You could make female friends…with lady parts.”
“I think Daisy’s off the list. She hates my ass.” Ash chuckled, but it was raspy and hurting. “And what about you and me?”
Steele swallowed the lump in his throat. He’d been thinking about this the whole day. “I shoulda done this years ago, and God knows I don’t know how to be in a relationship with a woman, but I wanna try. We could give it a shot.”
Ash gaped at him.
They stood still for a moment, holding on to one another, but then she pushed him away. “No, I’m not gonna do this to myself.” She shook her head.
“Why not?”
“Because…men leave. They die, they disappoint. Why would I set myself up for more hurt?”
“It doesn’t have to be like that.”
She huffed a breath. “Of course, it does.”
“You don’t trust me
.” He deserved her wariness. Steele was the one who’d shaken her faith in men, after all.
Ash placed her hands on her hips. “Any particular reason I should give you the benefit of the doubt?”
Steele couldn’t think of one, but he still wanted a second chance.
“We bring out the worst in each other, Steele. And we’ve got too much bad blood. Face it, we don’t have a shot in hell.”
Steele didn’t believe it for a second. “So…what? Love is supposed to be perfect?”
“I guess. Not like I’ve ever been in love.”
Every time he’d thought about her over the years, it’d ripped him up inside. He wasn’t about to let her go without a fight. “You were in love with me until I fucked it up. Love isn’t perfect. It’s painful, burning need. I want you so bad I can’t think about anything or anyone else.”
“That’s lust.”
“It’s more. I was more scared of you dyin’ than you were. And I’m willin’ to take a chance on us. Are you?”
Shaking her head, Ash backed up the street.
Ah, hell, I’m losing her. Too much, too fast.
She stepped further away.
“Why not?”
She planted her legs wide, and her hands fisted at her sides. “I told you. Because you put yourself first—with me, my brother, and with your friend, Coyote. You always have, and you always will.”
And there it was.
Steele couldn’t deny it. He had a terrible track record. But he wasn’t too proud to settle for whatever she was willing to share of herself.
If he could only have her body, then so be it. “Then come with me. I want you in my bed tonight. If that’s all there is between us…if that’s all I get.”
“No.” She stepped further away.
He followed her, trying to keep her from slipping through his fingers again. “Spend the night with me. I wanna hold you and touch you.”
Ash pressed a hand to her mouth.
“I need to make love to you in a bed. I wanna wake up beside you.” Steele could read the agony and indecision on her face.
She stood there, utterly speechless.
“Come on, Ash.” She at least had to give him this much. If he got her into his bed, maybe he could persuade her to give him everything.
They gazed at one another, tears glittering but unshed in their eyes.
“We’re makin’ it worse. It’ll only hurt more when we’re done.”
Steele scooped her up into his arms and took her to his bike before she could change her mind.
“Then I say bring on the pain.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ash wasn’t sure how they’d gotten back to Steele’s place.
Everything happened in a big blur. She hadn’t felt the wind in her hair or the heat from the motorcycle. Had no memory of the ride whatsoever.
But somehow, they were in Steele’s bedroom, hands ripping at clothing, mouths merged together. They tumbled down onto the bed. The room was dark, thick with shadows, and a wail broke the silence. Ash realized it’d come from her. Steele was on top of her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.
So good, so right.
This is what she needed, an orgasm. Oblivion.
He slid his hands down her body, followed by his mouth—kissing her neck, her breasts. Then her lips. Sinking fingers into his hair, she tugged.
Every time Ash touched him, she lit up, flared to life. Burned. They never went slow and gentle. Maybe sweet and romantic just wasn’t them.
She ached all over like a fever wracked her body. No, they hurt, they ached for one another. And every touch made it worse—cranked up the heat until she was roasting. Reaching between their bodies, she wrapped her hand around his thick cock. She stroked him roughly, tugging, urging him on.
“Fuck me.” Spreading her legs wide, she seized his hips, goading him. Ash needed Steele to enter her.
He pinned her arms over her head. “Let me in.”
“I am.” Ash lifted her hips, trying to get him to enter her. “I want you inside me.”
He shook his head. “No, not your body.” His hands slid down her wrists, her arms, until he cupped her face. “Let me in, Ash.”
His eyes were wide and bright, beseeching.
And suddenly, she couldn’t bear it. She tried to shake her head, break his hold, but he wouldn’t let her.
“Ash? What’s wrong?”
Tears made her vision blurry, and they ran down either side of her face, dripping onto the coverlet beneath him. Damn him for making her feel.
“No. Did I hurt you?” Steele lifted himself off her, scanning her body for injuries.
“No, but…yes.”
Neither of them spoke or moved for several minutes.
Steele blew out an agonized breath as he reached down and adjusted himself. “Bad as I hate to, we’re gonna sleep together, but we won’t…sleep together. Sex is off the table for tonight, even if it’s our last night together.”
Her eyes widened. Surely, he couldn’t be serious.
“Yeah, there’s a first time for everythin’.” Steele lifted the covers so they could both shimmy beneath them, and then he curled up beside her, resting his head on the pillow.
“Steele, come on. Let’s just—”
“I’m not a casual lay. Talk to me, Dusty.”
She mimicked the movement, and they faced one another like bookends.
“I’m a mess.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, we got that in common.”
Ash brushed the tears away. She didn’t have the energy to keep the walls up tonight. “I don’t want….” She gulped down a breath. “Fuck it, I’m just gonna say it…I don’t wanna be alone anymore.”
His face lit up. “Yeah? Well, you don’t have to be, Dusty. Let me in, and you’ll never be alone again.”
She didn’t believe him, not really.
His hands shook as he reached for her. Steele stroked the underside of her chin with a thumb, and they moved their heads together. She turned her body further into his, twining their legs together.
“I don’t know how to be with someone.”
“Me neither, but I’d love the chance to try.” He placed his hand on her chest. “I wanna be there.” Steele smiled. “If you were mine, this is where I’d tattoo my name, right above your heart. I thought I wanted it somewhere more…lusty, but I was wrong.”
“Is that some kind of macho biker tradition like those damn panties?”
His features sobered. “It’s a promise—more permanent than a wedding ring and twice as serious. When a biker chooses an old lady, it’s for life.”
She placed her hand over his. Together, they felt her heart thudding in her chest.
He looked into her eyes, and somehow, she couldn’t glance away. “I want you to think about us. Don’t give me an answer tonight, mull it over.”
All she had to do was say the words, and her life would change. Steele would be her boyfriend. Vengeance wouldn’t be the only thing she cared about.
What if she let Steele in, really let him in, and then he left her alone? What if he died on one of his dangerous biker missions? What if he screwed around on her and broke her heart?
No, she couldn’t take the chance.
When the scrutiny got to her, she made a joke. “You know, the spot’s also right above my breast.”
Steele glanced down as if to check. He grinned. “I won’t lie, though. My first choice wasn’t your heart. It was right above your….” He waggled his eyebrows as his gaze slid just below her hips.
Oh, thank God. He’d broken the tension.
Ash giggled and grabbed a pillow. She slapped him with it as he bellowed. Steele snatched it from her and attacked. Screeching, she tried to wriggle away, but he caught her. They didn’t stop until they were breathing hard and laughing like children.
It was the most fun she’d ever had in bed—probably because she hadn’t had sex with Steele in a bed. Yet.
No, I’ll never h
ave sex with Steele in a bed.
The thought made her unspeakably sad, but she didn’t say anything. Ash clung to him, let herself be held in his strong arms, let go…just a little bit.
***
The next morning, Steele woke to find Ash standing beside his bed. She’d put the lacy black dress back on, and her face was solemn. She was so close, he could feel the heat of her body, but somehow she’d never been further away.
“How long you been standin’ there?”
After casting a look at the door, she stepped back. “I didn’t wanna leave without saying good-bye.” She sighed. “Steele, I can’t….”
“You mean won’t. You won’t let me in.”
“Fine. I won’t let you in.”
Steele sat up in bed. “I know I got a couple strikes against me, but I think I’m a ’til-death-do-us-part sort of man when it comes to you. And I got no plans on dyin’ anytime soon.” He splayed his hands. “Give me a chance. Give us a chance.”
“You can’t make that promise. People die every single day. They die and leave you broken. And I don’t wanna talk about this anymore, Steele.”
He knew when he was beaten. He couldn’t make her want him, force her into fighting for them. If she wanted to run away, he had to step back and let her.
Steele suddenly realized just how scared she was. Ironic. One of the bravest women he’d ever known was too afraid to fall in love. So he watched her, drank her in. This would be the first and last time he’d see her rumpled from sleeping in his bed.
“We've got to end it, Steele.”
“If you say so.”
“Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.” Ash retreated further away, moving closer to the exit. “Tonight, we’re gonna kick some Raptor ass, and we’ll save your friend. And then I’m headed to my next assignment.”
“You really think he’s still alive?” Steele had doubts.
“I do.” Her eyes were wide and fierce. And he loved her a little bit more for believing it.
If he had any pride at all, he’d tell her to go, to not let the door hit her on the ass as she walked out. But he was a desperate man faced with an impossible situation.
“Kiss me good-bye.” It was a demand. He stood, not even bothering to hide his nudity—letting her see exactly what she was giving up.
Wild Ride (Let it Ride Book 2) Page 33