by Lara Adrian
He is a solemn figure in his bespoke midnight-blue suit and crisp white shirt. His tie is askew, the top button of his collar unfastened below his throat. His dark head is bent, his broad back leaning against the mahogany wood paneled wall, hands stuffed in his pants pockets.
He looks as though he’s been through hell and back.
I’m sure I do too.
I’ve spent the last forty-five minutes in the bathroom, trying to wash the blood-red lipstick stains from my dress and fingers. Really, what I’ve been doing is hiding in the solitude of the luxurious restroom, giving myself a chance to grieve the loss of Gabriel Noble.
Because that’s what this feels like. Death. Mourning.
A soul-deep emptiness.
He’s gone from my life, and while I am still hurting from the reason we’re not together, being without him is only making the pain worse.
“I came back to my office and you were gone,” Andrew says, his deep voice cautious, compassionate. His light green eyes watch me with regret as I approach him. “Lily told me where to find you.”
“How long have you been out here?”
He shrugs faintly. “A while. Are you okay?”
“No.”
His gaze drops from mine and he utters a quiet curse. “Evie, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about all of this. I never wanted you to get hurt. That’s what this whole thing was about.”
I shake my head. “No, Andrew. That’s not what this was about. It was about you treating me like a child. You didn’t respect me enough to give me the truth.”
He frowns. “I do respect you. More than you know.”
“How can you say that when instead of being honest with me, you went behind my back and hired someone to guard me like I’m a piece of property? You still want to handle me as if I’m that sick, broken girl you brought home from Paris.”
His face is filled with consternation. “I can’t get that image out of my mind. When I got the call that you were in the hospital three-thousand miles away, my world just about stopped. And then, when I got there and saw how sick you’d become . . . Christ, Evelyn. I should’ve known. I’m your brother. I should’ve done something more to get you out of that situation before it nearly killed you.”
“You did get me out of there,” I remind him, gently, because I can hear the anguish that’s still fresh in his deep voice. Anguish he’s held all this time, because of me. “You tried to help me, numerous times. In the end, you were the only one who did help, Andrew.”
A heavy sigh gusts out of him as his gaze meets mine. “Every day after I brought you home, all those months you were in therapy, I dreaded I’d get a call telling me you were gone. I watched you fight your way back. You were so brave, Evie, so fucking strong. Stronger than I would’ve been. Hell, you’re stronger than I am now. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to see it.”
I want to hold on to my anger for my brother, but it’s hard to feel anything but remorse now.
I understood how deeply he cared for me during all the years of my ordeal, but now I can see that although I got better, he is still living with the scars of watching me suffer.
He shakes his head. “I’m sorry I kept the truth from you. I should’ve told you. Hell, I should have taken the whole thing to the police right away. Instead, I dragged Gabe into this, too. Now, you’ve both got every right to despise me.”
I reach out to him, briefly placing my hand against his cheek. “I don’t despise you, Andrew. I never could. As for Gabe, I’m sure he’ll get over it. After all, he was only doing his job.”
“No, that’s not all, Evelyn. He cares about you. That was obvious to me today. I’ve known him for more than a year and I’ve never seen him like this. Not about anything, or anyone. He told me he’s in love with you.”
I close my eyes against the words I so desperately want to believe. Words I was afraid to trust when Gabe said them to me, because my heart had been cracked open from the hurt of his betrayal. It may never heal from that.
“He lied to me. He let me think I meant something to him, when the whole time he was being paid to care about me.”
Andrew slowly shakes his head. “He wanted to tell you everything. It was me who insisted against it.”
“You insisted.”
He gives me a rueful look. “I demanded Gabe’s silence, as his friend and colleague. I thought you would be better off without knowing about any of it--about the fact that someone was targeting you, about Gabe’s covert role in protecting you--at least until we had the situation contained. He disagreed with me on that, more than once. But I told him I knew best. I really believed I did. Now, I realize I was wrong. Gabe knew I was, but he kept those secrets from you only because I made him promise that he would. He’s a good man, Evie. He’s been a good friend, too. I’m sorry to see what that friendship has cost him with you.”
A piece of my outrage calves away from the larger ache still filling my chest. Gabe never said it was Andrew who insisted on the secrets, so I just assumed he participated without qualms.
How would I have reacted if he’d laid the blame at my brother’s feet today? I’m not sure, and as much as it kindles a small hope in me to hear that betraying me hadn’t come easily to him, it doesn’t change the end result.
“No. He chose,” I remind my brother as well as myself. “You gave him a job to do, and he did it. He chose that job over everything else, over me. That’s how much he loves me.”
Andrew’s brows lower. “Evelyn, Gabe resigned.”
Shock takes me aback for a moment. I gape at my brother. “He did? When?”
“After you and he spoke. He tendered his resignation, and from what I’m told, he left the building.”
A flood of emotion pours over me. I can’t believe he would quit the job that means so much to him. The job I accused him of trying to preserve at the cost of our relationship. Instead, it was his bond as Andrew’s friend that kept Gabe’s silence as much as anything else. Perhaps more so.
And then today, after the hurtful things I said to him, Gabe threw it all away.
“Where did he go?”
Andrew shakes his head. “I have no idea. Kelsey O’Connor turned his service pistol in to Nick, so I believe she was the last person to talk with Gabe before he left.”
My feet are in motion even before my brother finishes his sentence. I race for the elevator and punch the down button.
“Evie, wait.” Andrew jogs up behind me as I enter the waiting lift.
He stops outside of it, but he doesn’t challenge me, not this time. We’ve moved past that now, even though I can see he’s struggling to allow me the space enough to make my own decisions, to risk my own mistakes.
He’s not going to stop me from going after the man I love, even though his expression is filled with reservation.
“I need to find him, Andrew. I just . . . need him.”
I see his nod in the instant before the doors slide closed between us.
Down in the lobby, Luis at the desk tells me where to find Kelsey. I race to the meeting room where she is speaking with several of the security team. I know I should knock, but I have no restraint right now. I catch the tail end of her announcement that Gabe has resigned, but then everyone goes silent as I open the door.
“Where is he, Kelsey?”
Her eyes widen, as if she’s not quite sure how to respond. Stepping out of the room, she closes the door to speak privately with me in the hallway.
“Please,” I implore her. “I need to see Gabe. I need to tell him that I love him.”
A smile breaks over her face. “New York Hospital on Bell Boulevard in Queens. His father was admitted for chest pains this morning, but he’s fine. Gabe was heading there to see his brother Jake.”
Shit. The hospital is across the bridge and I have no car to get there. I also realize in a flood of misery that my purse, wallet, and phone are all back in Gabe’s apartment. We left in such a hurry, and I was so distraught, I didn’t stop to grab it.<
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“I don’t have my purse.” I give her a sheepish smile. “Do you, ah, do you have any money I could borrow for a taxi?”
“I have a MetroCard for the subway, if that will help?”
Oh, God. The subway. A sudden wave of anxiety seeps through me at the thought.
Kelsey notices my hesitation. “Or you could use my phone to call him?”
No, I can’t do that, no matter how much I would prefer to avoid going anywhere near the subway. But what I need to say to Gabe can’t be done over the phone.
I need to see his face. I need to be able to touch him, to kiss him.
I need to be able to look into his soul-stirring hazel eyes and tell him that I love him. I’ll get on my knees and beg him to forgive me for pushing him away, if that’s what it will take to win him back.
Even if I have to face the subway in order to reach him.
I’m no longer the scared and self-destructive young woman who stood at the edge of those subterranean tracks on the lowest day of her life. I’m not afraid to live anymore. I want it more than ever, but especially if I can share some part of it with Gabe.
And not even a lake a fire could keep me from going to him now.
“Your MetroCard would be great, Kelsey. Thanks.”
She runs to fetch it, then returns with the card and places it in my hand.
“Wish me luck with him?” I ask her, my smile shaky on my lips.
She hugs me tight. “Oh, girl. You aren’t going to need it.”
33
~ Gabriel ~
I race back into the city, the Lexus roaring through the morning traffic while my father’s encouragement pounds like a battle drum in my head.
He says maybe I’m due a miracle today. The truth is, I’ve already been granted one. It happened the day I met Evelyn Beckham in the Baine Building garage.
I have to see her now.
Even if she refuses to believe me, I have to tell her what she means to me. That she is the only woman I want. The only woman I will ever need.
That I will spend nothing less than the rest of my life loving her.
All I need now is the chance to show her that. I have to try to regain her trust, if it takes me weeks or months or years to prove myself to her again.
I know I don’t deserve her. And even if she rejects me in the end, right now, I just have to convince her to at least let me try to get her back.
Because in a word, what she means to me is . . . everything.
It is that thought that spurs me as I round the corner onto West 57th Street. I see the gleaming, dark glass tower of the Baine Building up ahead. I punch the gas, maneuvering around a slow-moving sedan.
I left less than two hours ago, and I only hope she’s still there. I’m not sure I would have called, even if her phone wasn’t left in her purse back at my apartment. I don’t want to give her the opportunity to shut me down again before I’ve even started to plead my case.
I just need to see her.
I need to hold her in my arms and pray I haven’t squandered all her affection for me.
Downshifting as I speed to make a light, I nearly rear-end the truck in front of me when I pass Evelyn walking swiftly up the sidewalk several hundred yards in the opposite direction of Baine headquarters.
Holy shit.
Where’s she going?
I glance in the mirror, trying to keep an eye on her while I navigate the river of traffic all around me. She’s soon engulfed in a crowd of pedestrians, all of them heading somewhere en masse.
The subway station.
What the fuck?
It’s the last place I would expect to see her heading. Confused, I veer toward the curb and dial O’Connor’s number on my vehicle’s speaker while I drive.
“Hey, Gabe.” She sounds chipper and a little coy, which confuses the hell out of me.
“Do you know where Evelyn’s going?”
“She just left to find you.”
“Find me? How does she know where I am?”
“Uh, because I told her. I just saw her here a couple of minutes ago. She borrowed my MetroCard and she’s on her way to the hospital in Queens right now.”
“Fuck.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m in the city,” I bark in a clipped voice. “I’m rolling up to the building right now. Shit, I need to catch her.”
“Then go,” O’Connor tells me. “I see you outside at the curb right now. Leave your car. I’ll take care of it. Just go get her, soldier.”
I chuckle in spite of the torrent of emotions swamping me. “I owe you one, O’Connor.”
I end the call and jump out of the car.
Then I start running, ignoring the protests of my stump as my feet chew up the distance between me and the miracle I hope is waiting for me at the other end.
34
~ Evelyn ~
I’m nervous.
Not because of the dankness of the subway station or the crushing press of the other commuters who surround me on the platform. Not even because of the steep edge on the other side of the concrete floor, with its dark tracks and yawning tunnels on either end.
I’m nervous because now that I’m here, I’m afraid of what awaits me at the end of this journey.
What if Gabe is too angry to listen to me?
What if I’ve pushed him too hard and he wants nothing to do with me?
I’ve cost him his job. He left it voluntarily, yes. But his resignation has everything to do with me.
After my talk with Andrew, I am hopeful that Gabe still has a place at Baine International . . . if he wants it. I know my brother still considers him a friend as well.
Maybe all of us will find a way to repair the damage we’ve done to one another.
I hug myself, needing some sense of reassurance as I stand with the crowd filling the station to await the next train. A little old lady seated on one of the thick-hewn wooden benches in the center of the platform stares at me in open curiosity.
I glance down at myself, suddenly reminded of the ruined state of my dress. The red lipstick stains are faded to pink, but still obvious. An ugly reminder of the morning that now seems like it happened days ago.
“Eve.”
I turn around at the sound of the familiar voice. I’m not expecting to hear my name here, and especially not spoken so intimately by the man who just said it.
He is standing a few people back from me. His round face is unsmiling, his balding head shining with perspiration under the milky wash of the fluorescent lights.
“Mr. Hennings.”
He steps forward, melting out of the surrounding crowd. His gaze is oddly disapproving, unblinking as he approaches.
My instincts recognize the threat in him, even before I glance down and see the blunt barrel of a gun partially concealed by the fall of his suit jacket and held low in his hand.
Oh, God. “It was you.”
He stands in front of me now, and despite that we are hemmed in by hundreds of other commuters, my focus narrows to just him and me.
And the pistol that he’s aiming squarely at the center of my body.
I take a small step back, a reflexive, fractional retreat. His raised brow is as effective as a shouted command to halt.
“Do not be a fool, Eve. I’ve tried to be patient with you. I’d hoped you would come around to my way of thinking. Now, I see you require more direct methods.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You and me, of course.” His tone is conversational, if measured.
He steps closer, until we’re standing scant inches apart, the same as any two people would while having a friendly exchange. Except this is nothing close to friendly.
The screech of the incoming train vibrates all the way into my marrow. I am chilled and trembling, panic beginning to collect behind my sternum. I glance on either side of me, hoping someone will notice I’m in peril.
Hennings bares his teeth in a menacing smile, his lips barely m
oving as he speaks in a soft murmur. “Sound any alarm, and I will start shooting into the crowd. Do you understand, Eve? Nod if you do, please.”
I bob my head shakily. Within moments, the train is in the station and the people begin to crowd onto it. The little old lady on the sturdy bench shuffles past me without so much as a glance, as if I am invisible.
In the city, that’s nothing unusual. But right now, I feel as insubstantial as a ghost.
I feel as if I am trapped in a nightmare.
Hennings flicks his gaze to my stained dress. “I see you got my message this morning.”
My stomach lurches at the thought of him standing outside Gabe’s apartment, scrawling hateful words, exposing photos of me at the lowest points in my life--my personal photos. I am mortified that Gabe has seen them. I’m sure that was the point.
“You stole my purse that day in the boutique.”
He chuckles. “I was clumsy about it. I nearly got caught by that bitch, Katrina. It was all I could do to ditch the damn thing in the nearest hiding place after I transferred your photos to my phone and took the other things I needed.”
“The photos you put up outside Gabe’s apartment. The lipstick you used to write that filth today. You stole it from my purse too.”
He shrugs mildly. “A personal indulgence, because I enjoy having things you’ve touched. Things you’ve used on your body, or on those provocative lips of yours. I’ve amassed quite an impressive collection of memorabilia on you over the years, Eve. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve been your biggest fan from the first time I saw you parading half-naked down a runway. I told myself that one day we would be together. And here we are, at last.”
I shudder inwardly, feeling a cold dread swamp me. He’s sick, deranged.
And all this time, he’s been obsessed with me.
“There is no girlfriend waiting for you overseas, is there? All that lingerie you’ve bought from the boutique, you weren’t buying it for anyone.”
“That’s not true. I was buying it for you.” He sneers, pursing his thin lips. “I thought you were enjoying the time we spent together in the boutique. Then you pushed me off without a care. Did you really think I would stand for working with anyone else? Steps had to be taken, Eve.”