By the time I had everything clamped together for the glue to dry, Mac was back at his workstation. I walked over and raised an eyebrow to him.
“So?”
Mac looked uncomfortable for a minute and then shrugged.
“Short Shit asked him to run an errand. I told him to let me know next time or I’ll dock his pay.” He looked at me as if waiting for me to correct him but I just nodded.
“That sounds fair.” He blinked in surprise. “Mac, I told you. I’m gonna be out for a while. So I need you to step up take on the management of our woodworking staff.”
“Our woodworking staff of one?” He cracked, and I nodded. He grinned. “Well at least they don’t outnumber me.”
I gave him some final instructions on some of the current projects and headed upstairs.
I took a large breath as I stood outside the apartment door, in limbo between work and home, thinking.
What the hell was she talking to Nick about? And where the hell did she send him? If she wants something she should ask me, not some young buck who drools all over her, pregnant or not.
I felt irrational anger at the thought of Nick sharing secrets with Molly and almost walked back down to the shop. Then I pushed the bad shit down into the imaginary tank where I was keeping all my other bullshit and slammed the lid.
Coming into the apartment, I saw Molly hurriedly sweep something off the kitchen counter and toss it into the garbage. Acting like I didn’t notice, I crossed the room and took her into my arms. She looked startled but pleased when I pulled her close and planted a kiss on the base of her neck. Glancing over her shoulder, I caught a glimpse of what she’d thrown in the trash and I felt my stomach tighten painfully.
An empty container from Amy’s Ice Cream.
She’d sent my assistant out to get her a treat from Amy’s…probably because she’d been afraid to ask me. Scared that I would freak out or maybe just flat out refuse. Amy’s had been Jessica’s and my place. We’d met there, and we’d gone there all the time. I hadn’t set foot inside the joint since the night of the accident, and couldn’t even look at the place no matter which location it was. I just couldn’t bring myself to face it. It served as another example of how I was failing Molly without even being asked to try. Anger blossomed in my chest, but the anger was directed inward, and I held onto her tightly while I got the emotions squashed down and tucked away where they belonged.
“Amy’s? Where did you get that?” I asked, as if I’d just noticed the bag. She yanked back, looking a little freaked and a slight bit guilty. Then she exhaled as if defeated and squared her shoulders.
“I had a really strong craving for Mexican Vanilla.” She refused to meet my eyes so I dipped down to meet hers and smiled at her reassuringly.
“Is that’s where Nick went?” The humiliated look on her face told me all I needed to know. “Babe…I appreciate why you asked someone else, but if you want something you should send me.”
Molly’s face fell into a troubled frown and reached up to put her hands on either side of my face. She looked into my eyes for an inordinately long time.
“Joe…where are you?” Her question confused me and it must have shown. “The last time I even mentioned the place, you almost had a panic attack. Now you can…what? Just flip a switch and run down there?”
“Babe, I’ll do whatever you need me to do.” I heaved a reluctant sigh, knowing in my heart that going into Amy’s wouldn’t be as simple as that.
Her eyes flashed and she stalked past me. Halfway across the room, she whirled and her arms came across her chest. “Jesus, Joe! I’m sick of this shit. I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall. I don’t know what you think you’re doing…but I want the man I love back, not some God damn Stepford Joe.”
Her sudden hostility was startling, but it was something I was getting used to. Her attempt to goad me into opening up by attacking me held a certain irony, but the doc and I had worked hard at managing my anger and I refused to lose my temper on Molly of all people. I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms before forcing out a chuckle.
“I’m just trying to keep things on an even keel. Your hormones have been all over the place and it’s made you really unpredictable.” It was the truth, but not all of the truth.
Her eyes grew wide and she looked a little unbalanced. When she fired back, it was with both barrels. “I’m unpredictable? Me? Really?”
I covered my eyes with both hands, too fatigued to put up a good defense. “I want you to ask me for stuff, not one of my employees who can’t keep his eyes from wandering all over you. Yes, it would be difficult to go to Amy’s…but I’d do it for you in a second.”
Unshed tears stood in her eyes as she crossed the room to me. Pulling me into a fierce embrace, she held me with surprising force.
“Dammit, Joe,” Her whisper matched the intensity of her grip. “I’d never ask you to put yourself through that just because I can’t control my sweet tooth.”
I pulled back so I could see her eyes and felt my chilly heart melt at the love I saw reflected there. “Listen up, little girl. I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
I held her gaze, making sure my statement carried the weight it was intended to. Her doubtful eyes made me totally berserk, but I pressed on. “I would walk through fire for you, or hell, sit through a marathon of Gossip Girl.”
The tears that had begun to spill were interrupted by a snorting laugh escaping her. A second later, her expression grew somber once more. “I love you, too, Joe. I can tell you’re bottling a lot of things up and I’m worried. It’s not good for you and it’s not good for us. I need you. All of you. I need you to level with me. I promise I can take whatever it is that you need to dish out.”
I blinked at her uncanny assessment of what I’d been going through…what I thought I’d been hiding so well. I stammered in response. “I…I’m just trying to keep from stressing you out.”
“Your attempt to ‘not stressing me out’? It’s stressing me out.” Staring pointedly into my eyes, she seemed to be searching for some answer to an undefined question. I was uncomfortable with the way she seemed to see through me. My need to break the tension overwhelmed me, and I pulled her into an explorative kiss. I wanted to take her mind off of this pointless argument…and off of me. She sighed deeply, breathing into me through our kiss. Her body seemed to resonate with relief against mine. She returned the kiss tenfold, and the taste of vanilla and spice on her tongue caught me off guard. The flavor had been Jess’s favorite as well, but it tasted so different on Molly. Her tongue softly grazed mine, and minutes later we were escalating in a deliciously familiar direction. Unable and unwilling to tap the breaks, I swept her off her feet and carried her down the hall.
“Joe, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” Her cheeks reddened, and I realized she seriously thought lifting her was pressing my limits.
“Baby, I have boots that weigh more than you.” My dismissive response didn’t seem to convince her.
Once in our bedroom, I placed her on her feet and grabbed handfuls of the pale orange material of her dress. It was soft to the touch, like a well broken in t-shirt, and the color reminded me of the icy treats my mother used to buy from the ice cream man.
“You’re wearing way too many clothes.” My voice sounded husky, and the flirtatious curl of her lips awoke the beast within me. “Arms up.”
She blinked up at me from under her dark lashes, and her eyes glittered with heated promise. Her face, neck, and chest rapidly flushed a pretty shade of pink. However, she immediately did as she was told. Molly Hildebrandt hated to be told what to do. The only exception seemed to be in the bedroom. This had been one hell of a discovery, and a hell of a lot of fun to explore. Sex with Molly was an athletic experience from the get-go. She had more of a libido than most guys in their heyday, and I considered myself a very lucky man.
My girl also had a kinky side. She liked things a bit rough a lot of the time, and after a great de
al of coaxing, I’d proceeded cautiously down that road with her. I had concerns due to her violent experiences with her ex and trepidation not knowing where her boundaries were. Now there was the pregnancy to consider as well, and I was even more leery about playing rough. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.
When it came to sex, Molly wasn’t afraid to ask for what she wanted. She was a far cry from submissive. She gave as well as she got, and had no problem taking control of me whenever the mood took her.
I slowly stripped off her dress and made short work of removing her bra. Her incredible breasts were even larger now, and her erect nipples a darker shade of red. She looked a bit uncomfortable as my eyes wandered over her changing figure, and she actually moved her hands up as if to cover herself. Before I knew what I was doing, my hands were entangled in her hair and I backed her slowly against the bed.
“Don’t even think about it.” I growled, between greedy kisses. I lowered her carefully onto the bed. “I want to look at you, do you understand me?”
She nodded mutely, and I sat up, letting my eyes wander over her flawless pale flesh. It had pinked with her arousal and her porcelain curves made my mouth water. She was perfection and I trailed kisses from her thick dark hair framing her expressive pale eyes to the tips of her pink polished toes.
“Joe…” She giggled and squirmed. A bashful look transformed her face, making her look surprisingly young. “You’re giving me a complex. Get up here and kiss me “
“You’re perfect.” I traced my finger from the hollow of her neck to her naval, which sparkled with a tiny diamond.
She rolled her eyes and cocked a dark brow. “You’re out of your damn mind. My belly looks like a volleyball.”
“If you think you’re any less beautiful to me carrying my children, you’re out of your damn mind.” I replied, dropping onto one elbow. She tried to look away, but I tilted her chin so that she could see my sincerity. “Kiss me, baby girl.”
She pulled my mouth to hers, and her lips captured mine. The heat between us flared white hot as always, and I felt my tension simply roll away with each kiss and caress. We made love, naturally adapting to her transforming body. I was slow and careful with her, forcing her to ask me for faster, harder, more. Soon she cried out louder and shuddered harder than I’d ever seen. Watching her face as she came was the biggest fucking turn-on, and knowing she was satisfied, I relaxed and succumbed to her.
We lay in comfortable silence, and I felt more connected to her than I had in weeks, maybe months. I must have drifted off because I woke to find myself spooning her. Smiling, I reached across her and placed my hand on the spot where our babies nestled within her. Rolling over to face me, Molly’s expression was complex and pensive as she regarded me in silence. Reaching down, she took my hand off of her womb and pulled it to her lips, kissing my knuckles.
“I want you to make an appointment for us to go see Dr. Greene together.” She said. I felt my brow wrinkle, but she pushed on before I could respond. “I know he’s your doctor, but I think it is important for me to at least talk to him. For us to talk to him. We can’t keep going on like this.”
“Like what? I thought things were better.” The look she gave me made me realize that I hadn’t been fooling her at all. It just proved that she knew me better than anyone else did.
“Don’t. Just don’t. Pretending like everything is okay isn’t working. Fake it until you make it doesn’t work with kids, and it won’t work with me. I need us to be able to deal with things openly. Isn’t that what you want?”
My throat had been tightening the more she talked. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest, it was so hard to breathe. I flipped up to sit on the side of the bed and leaned forward, hoping not to hyperventilate. Molly moved up behind me and her hand caressed my back. Her gentle touch calmed the demon that was shaking the bars of his cage inside my head. She was right, I couldn’t keep doing this. And I needed honesty. After all the lies and the secrets Jessica kept from me, the last thing I wanted was to go down that path with Molly. It was long past time we went to see the doc.
“He asked me to bring you a while back.” I admitted, looking over my shoulder at her. “But we’ve both been so busy…”
I stopped. That was a lie. I wouldn’t lie like that. Not to her. I took a shuddering breath. “I thought you’d be pissed.”
“Why would I be pissed?” She was up on her knees behind me, which put us eye to eye. A crease appeared between her eyebrows. Unwilling to look into her eyes when I confessed my real motivation, I turned away.
“I didn’t want you to think I thought you needed therapy.” I spoke the words quietly, and waited for an explosion. Instead, she wrapped her arms around my neck and resting her chin on my shoulder. She pressed her velvety cheek against mine. When she spoke, I could feel her jaw move against my bare flesh.
“Of course I need therapy.” Her voice was like silk, but her words sounded firm, reticent. “We all need therapy. Baby, promise me you’ll call him. I don’t care about the schedule. It doesn’t matter when he’s avalable, set up and appointment and I’ll clear my schedule.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon together curled up on the bed. I talked into her bellybutton for a while to see if I could make the babies kick and it seemed to have the opposite effect. Then Molly crafted us some chili and cornbread and we ate it on the couch, spending the remainder of the evening searching Realtor.com for new listings. I never made it back down to the shop, but I figured now was as good a time as any for the boys to get used to me being gone more.
The next morning I called Dr. Greene’s office, figuring I would get an appointment in a day or so. The receptionist put me on hold and then came back on the line to inform me that we were set for a one o’clock appointment that same day.
“Ahhh…” I stammered.
“Is that too soon?”
“No. No…it’s fine.”
“The doctor asked if you’ll be bringing a guest.”
I covered my face with my hand, wondering what the fallout of this meeting of the minds might be. “Tell him that she’ll be with me.”
All day long I worried about what might come out during the session and why Dr. Greene wanted me to bring Molly. By the time Molly and I were getting ready to leave the apartment, I was really keyed up. I think she might have been, too. She grew quieter as the minutes passed, and though I was waiting for her with keys in hand she was dawdling and moody. We nearly got into it when she refused to put on her winter jacket, even though it was drizzling rain and windy as hell outside.
“Molly. Your coat.”
“I’m good.”
“Now you are. In ten minutes you’ll be freezing and I’ll have to give you my coat.” I put my hands on my hips and tilted my head.
“Oh, alright.” She mumbled and disappeared into the bedroom. She returned, shrugging into a heavy sweater. “Satisfied?”
“Baby girl, you can’t wear flip-flops. It’s November.” I folded my arms and glanced at my watch.
“But they’re cozy.” She complained, with a sigh, kicking them off.
Thirty minutes later, we walked into Dr. Greene’s reception area hand in hand. Molly looked as nervous as I felt, her cheeks all flush with her dewy pregnancy glow. She was wearing one of my flannel shirts and it hung low over her maternity jeans which she’d stuffed into some crazy looking, furry boots just to spite me. They looked like they were made of a skinned raccoon and came all the way up to her knees.
I couldn’t decide if having her with me was making me anxious or if I was just anxious. Her long hair fell loose over her shoulders like chocolate waves, and I stroked it nervously as we sat waiting our turn. I did this a lot. It was a nervous habit, my treating her like a security blanket, or a prized stuffed animal. My eyes scanned the empty waiting room, and I noticed the receptionist, typically a very icy individual, eyeing Molly’s protruding belly, and smiling.
“So, are you excited for Friday?” Molly as
ked. I looked at her blankly and after about three seconds of confusion, I realized she was referring to the upcoming ultrasound.
“Oh. Yeah.” I murmured, and she slowly blinked at me.
“Yeah. I can tell.” She scoffed, and turned away to pick up a magazine from the table next to her.
“Molly.” I admonished, and she huffed and dropped the magazine onto her lap. She looked sideways at me, her annoyance as obvious as the stud in her nose. “I am. It’s just all a bit weird with you here. My worlds are colliding, that’s all. I’m distracted, not disinterested.”
She nodded thoughtfully, and the receptionist’s phone beeped. She carried on a quiet conversation, then hung up and turned to us.
“Dr. Greene will see you now.” She said, and I led Molly into his office. The doc stood up the minute we entered the room, and I felt a tug as Molly, who was still holding my hand, slowed her step
‘Hello, Molly.” Dr. Greene wore a sheepish grin. Molly narrowed her eyes at him, obviously surprised that she’d met him many times before. She put a hand on her hip and then shook her head with a bemused smile.
“Will.” She replied and then followed up in a mocking tone. “Or should I call you Dr. Greene?”
“Why start now?” His retort was swift and their familiar timing reminded me of vaudevillian actors. When Molly and I first started seeing each other, I’d recommended that Dr. Greene try her food. Since then, he’d informed me that he’d been back many times. He’d never revealed his identity to her, doctor/patient confidentiality I assumed, and I figured where he chose to eat was his business, so I never mentioned it to Molly.
“Well…now that we have that out of the way...” I muttered, and instead of taking my usual seat next to his desk, I sat down on the couch with her.
“I’m glad Joe finally asked you to come.” Dr. Greene came around the desk, leaving his trusty notebook closed and untouched. I could feel the tension in my jaw as I felt Molly’s eyes on me.
Mollywood (Carved Hearts #2) Page 12