by Tey Holden
“There are no strings attached here, babe. We just get what we both need and carry on with our lives. Come on. Let me relax you.” She put her arms around Blair to no avail. Blair took her arms away and left the bathroom and the bar. She got on her bike and took off. All she could think of was Alex. She didn’t want anyone else. She no longer wanted just sex. She wanted the real thing, and that was Alex. She was mad at herself for allowing this to happen. She wanted to scream, to cry, but most of all she wanted to fall into those loving arms and to lose herself again, totally and forever on another one of Alex’s kisses.
***
When Megan looked up and saw Blair come into the bar, she smiled. She knew Blair had changed her mind. “What happened? Was the competition too tough out there?”
Blair smirked. “What competition? I couldn’t tend to all of them and retreated!”
Megan laughed. “That good, huh?” Megan knew that Blair could catch anyone she wanted, but she also knew that something was not right. Blair smiled.
“I’m damaged goods, Megan. I’m messed up. I’ve changed. I can’t do crazy stuff anymore. I’m just going to turn to my work and work like mad until I forget about her.”
“You are in love Blair. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a beautiful feeling.”
Blair looked up. “When it’s reciprocated. Are you forgetting the details here?”
Some of the older women, and regulars at the club, were standing close and overheard the conversation. “I could have told you that when I saw you at the game the other day! You were drooling over her.” Claire commented.
The news traveled fast at the Paradise, Pat’s bar. It was a small community of regulars and they talked among themselves. They were all Pat’s friends and had seen Blair grow and become the woman she was. “For now, why don’t you come and dance with us. Come on! Have some fun, girl! Forget about your heart.” Tina said pulling her to the dance floor.
“Does everybody in this bar know?” She asked rhetorically.
“Yes! You are our baby, and we love you. Come on dance with us!” Someone else pulled her other hand and dragged her to the dance floor.
Megan laughed. Before she knew it, Blair was jumping up and down on the dance floor.
After a while, she came back to see Megan. “I am going home. I start early tomorrow.”
“Call her. Talk to her.”
Blair rolled her eyes and walked away.
***
During the weeks that followed, Alex and Blair talked on the phone several times, but the urgency of work was always there. Alex had recovered and was doing well. Blair’s decision to distance herself to cool off her libido and mind had not worked. So far, there had been no luck in the cooling off department. Every time she thought of Alex and the kiss, it was as if she had a fire between her legs.
Alex was facing her demons as well. Although she was not avoiding Blair, she was concerned about seeing her again. She also had immersed herself in work to take her mind off the emotional upheaval that had become her life. Thankfully, travel for work took her away for a few weeks. After three weeks of silence, Alex couldn’t take it anymore and called Megan at the bar.
“Paradise, Megan speaking.”
“Hi Megan, it’s Alex. I didn’t have your cell number and I needed to talk to you, is this okay, or should I call you later?”
“Wait, don’t go. Let me get Pat to take over. Hey, Pat, can you mind the bar for a bit, I have Alex on the phone.”
Pat opened her eyes, realizing the importance of the call as it might relate to Blair. “Sure, go to the office and talk in there.”
Megan quickly walked into the office and shut the door behind her. “Sorry, Alex it’s pretty loud out there. How are you? Are you all recovered from your virus?”
“Yes, how are you and Pete?”
“We are fine and she’s fine too, if that’s your next question.”
Alex smiled. “She’s been avoiding me. Did she tell you what I did?”
Megan smiled. She thought it was cute how Alex was taking all the blame. “Yes, she told me what happened. You should know that she does not blame you.”
“Does she think she did something wrong again?”
“Of course, she does. Alex, don’t you know that in her eyes you can do no wrong?”
“What?” Alex was taken aback by Megan’s comment.
“Oh boy, I’m going to get creamed for this meddling, but what the heck! What is there to lose? You have to promise me that what I tell you will be kept in strict confidence.”
“Of course. Where is she? Is anything wrong with her?”
“She’s fine, just moping and working herself into the ground. She’s working double shifts, comes home collapses, and then goes back for another double shift. That’s what she’s been doing. Working herself ragged trying to forget you.”
There was silence. “Forget me? Jesus! Why would she want to do that? I thought she was just avoiding me.”
“Alex, I’m not the kind of person who tells on others, but this is my sister and I love her to death. She has feelings for you and thinks it’s best to stay away because she thinks you don’t share those feelings. That’s what’s going on. Please don’t ever tell her that I told you, she’d kill me. I’ve tried to convince her to talk to you, but she doesn’t see the point. She thinks she would embarrass you, make you uncomfortable, you name it. I’ve told her that this is not just her problem. She thinks it is because she was the one who fell for you.” There was a lot of silence at the other end of the line. “Alex, are you there?”
Alex’s heart was racing and her voice was shaky. “Yes, . . . I’m here.” There were too many anguishing thoughts going through her head. “I’m just trying to process all of this and think of what to do.”
“Alex, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. But . . . sometimes one doesn’t know what to do and talking things out is best. I just don’t like to see her so sad. I mean, if you don’t care for her that way, maybe the best thing is for you to talk to her and tell her. That way she can get on with her life. I’m sorry. I think I’ve meddled enough. I better stop talking now. ”
“No, Megan, it’s okay. You really haven’t said anything I didn’t already suspect. The thing is Megan, that I . . . ” She paused wondering if she should trust Megan.
“You what? Alex, do you have feelings for her also?”
Alex remained quiet for a moment. “You are not very good in the confidentiality department, you know?”
Megan smiled satisfied with her mischief and perhaps surprising discovery. “True, but I only meddle for good reasons and when necessary.”
Alex chuckled. “Fair enough. I’m not doing well either. I’m trying to comprehend what I feel for her. It’s hard to explain what I can’t understand myself.”
Megan closed her eyes when she heard those words. Oh my God! There’s hope! “I think the two of you have unanswered questions and you should talk.”
Alex continued. “I agree. But she won’t talk to me for more than three minutes.”
“Well, I don’t know how, but you need to talk this out. I always think that in matters of the heart one should let the heart speak. Alex, she thinks she would hurt you by revealing her true feelings. She also doesn’t want to get hurt, but she’s hurting already. This is not just a passing thing with her. I’ve never seen Blair like this. This is—.”
“I know, Megan, I know. I can’t talk anymore now though. I need to go. Thanks.” Alex realized that if she continued to talk, she might say more than she wanted to share. Megan was as genuine and as sincere as her sister and it was hard to keep things from them.”
After the conversation with Megan ended, Alex reclined her head on her chair and looked at the ceiling. She has feelings for me. I knew it. How am I going to handle this? What to do? It was late in the evening and she would be heading home soon. Conflicted by her thoughts, she began to pick up her belongings and left her office.
***
Alex was having a terrible time and had called Blair several times always with the same result. Two weeks later, Blair’s work still had not allowed time to talk. Alex had to figure out a way to get Blair to talk to her. It was then that she came up with a plan.
“Hey, you are working too hard, how are you?”
“Fine. How about you?”
“Did I tell you that I now have a gelatin addiction?”
Blair chuckled.
“The problem is that I can’t make the darn stuff. It doesn’t turn out like yours.”
“How can you not make gelatin?” She laughed.
“I don’t know, maybe I lack gelatinous skills.”
Blair chuckled again. “Gelatinous skills?”
“Yes, by the way, I think I’m going to the bar tonight.”
“Which bar?”
“Paradise.”
“Alone?”
“Of course! It’s not like I have a date.”
“That signals trouble, why are you going there?” Blair’s heart took on speed, and her voice came out at a higher pitch.
“To have some fun.”
“Are you forgetting it’s a lesbian bar? A woman going alone sends certain signals. And in your case, it won’t take more than two seconds for someone to intercept your signals and be around you.” Blair’s tone was cautionary, but there was a hint of upset to it. She rubbed the back of her neck unconsciously.
“Well, I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself. I’ll have a beer and chat with Megan and Pat. But maybe having someone around me there would be a good experience to sort things out.”
“Sort what out?” Her eyes began an anxious dance, and she raked her hair with her hand.
“The ambiance, the people, how I feel around lesbian women trying to pick me up.”
“Alex, you can’t do that!” The upset tone finally burst out.
“Why not?” Alex smiled certain that she was achieving her goal.
“Because there are very experienced women there and you, well . . . you are not.” Blair began to pace and rubbed the back of her neck.
“I’ll be careful. How does one become experienced if not by having some experience? Are you going to be there?”
“I work until late tonight, and it’s too late to switch with anyone. If I go, I will not be able to make it until late.” In her mind, Blair was already trying to figure out how to get there earlier.
“Well, I’ll go in late, so if you drop by, I might see you there.” Alex knew she was adding more wood to the fire with every additional remark.
Blair was bordering on frantic by now. “Going late is not good. Are you really serious about this?” Her tone now was a bit demanding.
“Yes, I hope you can make it. Hey, I have to go now. I have an appointment with a client, bye.”
“Alex!” Blair shouted her name trying to keep her on the phone, but it was too late, Alex was already gone. Alex hung up hoping that her plan would work, and that Blair would show up at the bar to ‘protect’ her from the more experienced women, who allegedly would try to pick her up.
Her plan worked. When it came to Alex, Blair couldn’t think, she just reacted. The minute the conversation with Alex ended, she called Megan. “Megan, I have a situation.”
Megan was alarmed noticing immediately Blair’s distressed tone. “What’s wrong, sis, what’s happening?”
“I’ve just talked to Alex. She said she was going by the bar tonight.”
Megan smiled. She suspected that Alex was up to something and loved the way her sister fell for whatever Alex was planning. “Great! So, what’s wrong with that?”
“What do you mean great?” Blair practically yelled into the phone. Megan she’s going alone!”
Hearing Blair’s tone and her concern made Megan smile and she bit her lip, and played along. “And? Oh, I see! I guess that is not good.” She thought to also add her two bits. “I don’t think she should be here alone on a Saturday night. She could get into interesting situations. I think she’s pretty raw as compared to some of our other patrons.” Megan knew that Blair didn’t need to hear the obvious, but she wanted Blair to react. She was sure that Alex’s announced trip was intended to unnerve Blair and make her go to the bar where she could then talk to her face to face. She may be inexperienced dealing with women at a bar, but she’s one smart cookie.
“You don’t have to tell me that! I’m working, and I’m not going to be able to get out of here until late. I need you to keep an eye on her. Don’t let her drink more than one beer, sit her somewhere where no one can see her and where you can watch her, and don’t let her go anywhere with anyone!”
“Blair, I’ll try, but she is an adult, and I really can’t tell her to sit in any specific location, or not to drink, or stop her from going off with someone if that’s what she wants to do. I think this time your request is beyond my control.”
“Megan, please, help me out, come on. Put out a general alert. Ask Pat and the others to help out.”
Megan smiled, she knew that the request to put out a general alert to the regulars and Pat was unusual for Blair because she never liked to ask favors or impose on anyone. Megan enjoyed seeing Blair so involved and interested to be in such emotional distress, so she played along. “Honey, you know you can count on me to do whatever I can.”
“Thanks.”
***
Alex walked into the bar that night looking like a million dollars. There was nothing that woman could have done to look sexier. She was wearing what anyone would call the usual little black dress. Except that on Alex, the little black dress was more than Channel ever envisioned. In fact, if Coco Channel had ever seen her in that attire, she would have begged her to be her poster child. It was not in any way tight, provocative or insinuating, the dress was simply classy and beautiful. Alex looked exquisite. If she had walked on the red carpet at the Oscars with that dress on no one would have dared to ask for her invitation. She was wearing high-heeled pumps that added about two inches to her height, and her diamond stud earrings. Her make-up was light and her hair was down, and only restrained on the sides with two very thin black barrettes.
The second she walked into the bar she became the focal point of attention making several heads turn. There was an immediate murmur amongst the patrons of the bar that permeated through the music. Everyone seemed almost astonished. Megan was as captivated as the rest of the crowd. Shit! Even I find her attractive! Alex knew her effect on people, and tonight of all nights, she knew she was really making a scene. For that matter, she kept her poker face in place, until she reached the bar and smiled at Megan.
“Hi.” As soon as she spoke, the two women by the bar focused on her.
Megan smiled. “Hi sweetie. Get over here to this side so we can talk in private.” She said it loud enough so that the two women at the bar could hear her. She was also now determined to monopolize Alex as much as possible, as she had promised Blair. She had also put Pat and the other regulars at the bar on alert to look out for Alex. Nothing was left unattended.
Alex was surprised with the greeting. Megan had never spoken to her so endearingly and she immediately suspected that something was going on. The area where Alex was instructed to sit was in the area of the bar near to Pat’s office, which was a part not so visible to most. “This area is quieter and we can talk some.” Still, she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to draw Alex away from everyone and thought that the best thing to do was to lay the cards on the table.
“So that we are clear, I was instructed to keep an eye on you all night and not let you leave this bar with anyone, doctor’s orders.” Alex smiled at Megan’s declaration, now knowing what was going on.
“All the regulars and Pat are also on alert, the word is out. Sorry. All the regulars have known Blair since she was a kid. They take care of her and when she needs help from her friends, she gets it. You are dead meat at this bar tonight.”
Megan’s news and tone made Alex laugh. “I can’t believe she
put you up to this!”
“I’d do anything for my sis, and she apparently cares enough about you to call for reinforcements.”
“Well then, let me put you at ease, I don’t plan to do anything crazy, or leave here with anyone. I’m here because I was hoping she’d come if I told her I was going to be here. I need to talk to her face to face.”
Megan banged the bar counter with her hand and smiled triumphantly. “I suspected that much and that is the other reason why I’m playing along. You are a sly fox! I like your tactics.”
Alex grinned in a very sexy way. “It’s her fault. She’s been avoiding me. It’s the only way I could think of to get her to talk to me face to face. I’m just hoping she takes the bait and shows up.”
Megan was delighted and laughed. “I think you rattled her cage. I’m sure she will show up tonight. I think you’ve made more than sure about that! You look ravishing, by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“Since I suspected you had a plan, I also did my share to rattle her cage. I told her how dangerous it would be for you to be here alone.”
“Thanks. I’m forever indebted to you for the cooperation.”
Around nine o’clock that night, a frantic Blair rushed into the bar determined to find Alex no matter where she had gone, or whom she had left with. She was resolved not to allow Alex to fall prey to a more experienced woman who didn’t care for her. Her usually serene mind was in a state of total turmoil. She was wearing her scrub shirt tucked inside her pants in a futile attempt to make it look like a regular shirt.
The minute she walked in, Megan saw her. It only took Blair a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the dark room as she desperately scanned it looking for Alex. When she couldn’t find her, she headed for the bar anxiously. A few of the regulars greeted her, but she was so focused on getting to the bar and to Megan that that their voices did not even register with her. Blair almost seemed distraught. It was obvious that Alex was the only thing on her mind, and it showed.
All eyes were on her as she made her way to the bar where she found Megan. “Where is she, Megan, where is she? Where did she go?” She anxiously looked into Megan’s face waiting for an answer. Megan was about to respond when Alex’s voice came from the side of the bar. She had just come out of Pat’s office, where Pat had dragged her, with the pretext of having computer problems again.