by Shirley Wine
How could he have done this to her?
To Jared?
Harvey, after all, had professed to love them both. To manipulate them into such an untenable situation was a darn funny way to show affection.
Unsettled, fighting anger and betrayal, Winsome walked to the large bay window and stared at the storm lashed gardens. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms trying to dispel her nervous tremors. The Indian summer day had fled. Wind and rain lashed the rapidly darkening landscape.
Why? No matter how she worried her father-in-law’s actions, she was no nearer understanding.
A curl of fear wormed its way into her heart.
She stole a glance at Jared and Lacey and pain seared her to the soul. It looked so natural, them sitting together cradled in a big armchair. It wasn’t fair. Nor was the flicker of emotion that felt suspiciously like jealousy.
Who ever said life was meant to be fair? The gruff voice seemed so close Winsome glanced around before she realised Dr Cartwright’s words had ghosted through her mind.
She tuned into Jared’s conversation with Lacey.
“They won’t upset your mummy any more, I promise.”
Watching Lacey gazing up at Jared with such implicit trust, a lump of regret lodged in Winsome’s throat. What had he ever done to deserve such faith? He looked across at her and gently pushed the child off his knee. “Why don’t you play with the toys?”
Reassured, the little girl returned to the block fortress she’d been building before Jared had come for them. He stood up and joined her at the window.
“You knew didn’t you?” Winsome watched him, very wary.
“Dad told me the gist of his will just before he died,” he admitted, rubbing a hand across his face in a gesture of weariness. “Mother and Paige aren’t impressed at being banished. How do you feel about moving back?”
“How do you think I feel?” The lethally quiet tone was misleading.
“Betrayed, angry, manipulated?” He spread his hand wide in a gesture she remembered well.
How well he gauged her sentiments. Struggling to subdue hot, intemperate words, she shrugged. What was the point? One glance at Jared and she knew he was only voicing his own thoughts. A slanging match would change nothing.
Winsome never underestimated Max Harpur. If he said Harvey’s will was legal, she believed him. Her eyes rested on her daughter. “How are you going to feel having Lacey here? You’ve effectively ignored her existence until now.”
Jared turned and looked out the window, his back to her, his stance rigid. She watched him, filled with a helpless yearning. Why? Why did you cut us out of your life?
And when had crying for the moon ever achieved anything?
Their love, once so solid, had shattered into irretrievable fragments, unable to withstand harsh words flung from grief stricken hearts. Was it possible to even try to heal the wounds?
If only she had been able to cry. Winsome flinched from the memory, unable to bear it. When the tears had finally come, the powerful emotional release had temporarily washed away her sanity—
She cut the thought off. It was too painful. As were the interpretations others had attached to it. Unable to bear looking at the man who’d once meant everything to her, she whirled away. Lacey was watching them both, her expression filled with that age-old wisdom that baffles adults. As if sensing Jared’s unhappiness, Lacey slipped her hand into his.
“Please don’t be sad,” she said with endearing simplicity.
Jared looked at her and, expression sad, crouched to her level. “Would you like to come and live with me, Lacey? With your Mummy so we can be a real family?”
The little girl considered the question, her expression grave. “Could I bring Casper?”
“Who’s Casper?” A smile lightened Jared’s expression.
“My cat.” Lacey scuffed her shoe on the carpet then looked up at him with a small, beguiling smile. “Grandpa brought him for me.”
“That was kind of him.”
“Would Grandpa be here with us?” Lacey looked hopefully at Jared then glanced at Winsome.
“No.” He met her direct look and the child’s smile vanished. Jared held her hands between his, squeezing them as he said with touching honesty, “Your Grandpa has died and won’t ever be coming back. But he has asked your Mummy and you to live here with me again, so we can learn to be a family.”
Lacey looked into his serious face. “Is that why Mummy’s sad?”
“Yes. I’ve been sad as well.” He met the child’s eyes without flinching. “What do you think? Would you like to live here?”
Winsome watched them, her eyes haunted. It was such a simple thing, a father and daughter talking. She ached for all the empty years. Would they ever be able to forge the bond that was her daughter’s birth-right? Lacey pulled away and came over to her. “Do you want to live here with Daddy?”
“How about we give it a try, Lacey?” Winsome’s voice trembled with the effort of concealing her bitterness, knowing there was no option.
She couldn’t live with her conscience if Jared forfeited his heritage.
“Okay.” Lacey favoured them with an uncomplicated smile. “Where will I sleep tonight?”
“The mammoth decisions of a four-year-old.” Winsome’s shaky laugh eased the tension. “We have to go home first, sweetheart. We have no clothes with us. It will be a little while before we can live here.”
Lacey accepted her mother’s words without demur then beamed up at Jared. “I think I’m going to like you.”
“And I’m going to like you.” Jared’s smile was crooked as he glanced at Winsome. “You’ve made a lovely job of your daughter.”
Angry colour stained her cheeks. She wasn’t prepared to allow Jared any latitude over Lacey. She was his child and it was well past time he acknowledged her as such. “She’s not only mine, Jared. She’s very like you. I’m sure I’ve never been so stubborn or persistent. Once she has an idea nothing will budge it.”
Appalled by her outburst, Winsome turned away, looking at the storm lashed gardens. “We’d better be going.”
Jared glanced at his watch and then at the heavy, slanting rain.
“There’s no reason why you can’t stay the night. It’s almost dark and driving conditions will be treacherous.” He laid a hand on her shoulder, grimacing as she flinched at his touch. “You and Lacey can sleep in my bed. I’ll doss down on the sofa.”
“What about the rest of the family? I don’t want Lacey upset by quarrels,” Winsome answered with caution knowing Jared would be affronted when he discovered Lacey needed Quentin’s permission to stay. Unless he agreed, Winsome couldn’t accept the invitation.
Before he could answer a soft knock sounded. Quentin opened the door and poked his head inside. “Can I come in a moment?”
“Sure. I’m trying to persuade Winsome to stay. There’s no sense driving back to Tauranga in this.”
“I was about to suggest it.” Quentin looked at Jared. “As long as you all sleep in here.”
Jared’s scowl was ferocious.
“Lacey is my concern.” Quentin said without raising his voice.
“Why the hell are you her guardian?” Jared snarled his expression savage.
Quentin glanced at the little girl listening to their angry interchange and gave his brother a significant glance. “Now isn’t the time to discuss this.”
For one awful moment Winsome thought Jared was going to explode, and then he too glanced at Lacey and stifled whatever he’d been about to say. He nodded, but in the tense silence his resentment and injured pride were almost tangible.
Jared’s pride was formidable, as she well knew.
Pride, after all, had kept him from her side for over four years.
She didn’t need to be a mind reader to know that Jared had to hate knowing Quentin was his child’s guardian and that he was forced to yield to his sibling’s dictates. Or that his brother was privy to things he didn’t know.
For one awful moment she was tempted to try and explain, only to realise that revealing the grim secrets of her past and his, at a time when the atmosphere was already fraught with grief and anger, was foolhardy in the extreme.
Winsome glanced at Quentin and caught the infinitesimal shake of his head and knew that he too feared the repercussions.
Jared, although clearly unhappy, asked, “You’ll stay?”
“Yes, we’ll stay.” She welcomed the chance, hungry for Jared’s company after the bitter years of separation. And not just his company.
For long fraught moments their glances locked and then, colour rising, Winsome looked away. It would be the ultimate humiliation if Jared plumbed the depth of her longing for him. She risked another glance and found him watching her. And she knew that somehow he’d divined her thoughts.
Heat surged through her amidst a chaotic jumble of emotions.
“Why not relax with Lacey while I bring dinner,” he said, his smile sardonic as he opened the door for Quentin to precede him, making her colour heighten further.
Alone, Winsome lifted shaking hands to hot cheeks.
How could she have forgotten Jared’s ability to rob her of coherent thought with one penetrating glance? She hugged Lacey until the little girl squirmed and demanded to be set down. An hour spent bathing and playing with her did a lot to soothe Winsome’s ruffled nerves.
When Jared brought dinner they ate from the coffee table, sitting on cushions. Lacey, delighted with the impromptu picnic meal, devoured it all.
“She’s almost asleep,” he said as the little girl rested against Winsome sucking her thumb, her eyelids heavy.
“I’ll tuck her up in bed. Then do the dishes,” Winsome murmured smoothing her hand over Lacey’s bright hair, reluctant to end this pleasant interlude. It was she realised, a time out of time.
“I’ll do them.” Jared laid a hand on her arm to prevent her rising. His grave expression stopped her desire to argue. “The atmosphere’s pretty charged out there.”
Winsome didn’t doubt him.
As she tucked Lacey in the huge sleigh bed, the little girl closed her eyes, yawning mightily. For long moments Winsome sat on the edge of the bed smoothing a hand over the plaid coverlet.
Why had Jared changed the furniture in here?
Could it be that he wanted no memories of her? An arrow of hurt pierced her heart. Unable to bear the thought, she went out leaving the lamp burning. In the sitting room, she relaxed in a comfortable chair, kicking off her shoes as she flipped on the CD player, instantly recognising the haunting strains of Schumann that swirled around her. She’d learned to appreciate the classical music Jared loved. Closing her eyes, she let the music ease her sorrow and the clawing anxiety raised by Harvey’s will.
She needed this time alone. Today’s tension and grief had stretched her nerves to breaking point. She was, she acknowledged with grim acceptance, vulnerable to this family.
She had changed.
While she was stronger, she was also desperately afraid, of herself and the strength of her reaction to Jared.
Going into the bedroom even with its changes made her ache with unquenched hunger. Closing her eyes she imagined Jared’s hard body over hers, joined close against his heart.
With a muttered curse she reigned in her wayward thoughts. Hadn’t she learned anything? That way could only lead to grief and strife.
When the door opened she never moved, thinking Jared had brought the coffee. No one had ever entered these rooms unless it was at their specific invitation. It had been their sanctuary, inviolate, intensely private, and obviously unchanged.
Her solitude was rudely shattered.
“Why are you staying here?” Paige demanded in a low, furious voice. “You have no right. You inveigled my father into swindling Jared of his birth-right.”
Startled, Winsome opened her eyes her heart thrumming in panic.
This was the confrontation she’d feared. Gaelen and Paige had hurt her to the edge of endurance when she’d lived here.
Although she had grown past that timid girl, she never underestimated such powerful enemies. The past was too close, its ghosts capable of inflicting mortal injury to her shaky psyche.
Why had Jared allowed Paige to invade her privacy?
Disadvantaged sitting, Winsome stood, fighting down nervous tremors. Could she placate the furious woman with reason? “I am in no way responsible for your father’s will, Paige.”
“No? That’s hard to believe.”
“What do you mean?” Winsome’s heart began the once familiar, panicky thumping.
“What do I mean?” Paige mimicked in wicked parody. “Come off it, Winsome. You’ve traded on sex all your life, trapping my brother with your helpless, little girl wiles. Do you really think you’re going to get away with foisting your bastard onto Jared as his daughter?”
Rage, red and searing, hazed Winsome’s vision.
For herself she didn’t care. Paige’s insults were nothing new. But the insult aimed at Lacey was insufferable. Fearless in defence of her daughter, Winsome sprang forward and slapped Paige’s sneering face so hard, the other woman’s head snapped around.
“How dare you?” she panted, outraged. “How dare you imply Lacey isn’t Jared’s daughter?”
Paige was clearly stunned by Winsome’s aggressive retaliation. Eyes wide with shock, she lifted a hand to her cheek. “Mum said she wasn’t Jared’s daughter.”
“Your mother wouldn’t know the truth if it jumped up and bit her,” Winsome snarled, almost incoherent with temper. “Jared knew I was pregnant with Lacey before I ever left this house.”
How dared Gaelen or Paige even think something so despicable?
Did Jared think Lacey wasn’t his daughter? Was this why he’d cut them from his life?
A small whirlwind raced past and Paige staggered as Lacey pummelled at her with clenched fists. “Leave my mummy alone. I hate you. I hate you. You’re not allowed to hit my mummy.”
Paige, reeling under the attack, grabbed the child’s long hair and before Winsome could intervene, gave it a vicious yank. Lacey screamed shrilly, kicking and lashing out.
The door crashed opened.
“What the hell’s going on?” Jared’s harsh questions slashed through the melee as he strode forward and picked up Lacey. She clung to him, sobbing with pain and fright.
“She hit my mummy. I hate her. You said they wouldn’t hurt her,” she sobbed, her betrayal at this broken promise clear. “And she pulled my hair.”
Jared looked at Paige over his daughter’s tawny head.
“Who gave you permission to enter my apartment?” The chilling question brought a flush to his sister’s cheeks.
So Paige had encroached on her privacy without Jared’s permission. Winsome took some comfort from that but as she looked at Lacey and Jared, their heads touching; fresh fury surged through her at the slur cast on her beloved child.
“Take a good look, Paige,” she said though clenched teeth. “Look at Jared and Lacey and tell him what you’ve just told me.”
“What did you say, Paige?” Jared looked from his wife to his sister.
Winsome was unmoved by Paige’s discomfort as Jared gripped her shoulder so hard she winced. Looking at Lacey, Winsome knew she couldn’t speak to Jared in front her daughter. No child should ever hear itself spoken of in such a way.
“Give me Lacey, Jared,” she said though her teeth. “And don’t let Paige leave.”
One look at her face and Jared handed Lacey over.
Winsome whispered in the child’s ear as she carried her through to the bedroom. She found some chocolate in her purse and gave it to Lacey.
“You stay here sweetie.” She smoothed the hair off the child’s worried face with a gentle hand. “I’ll leave the light on and be right back.”
Returning, she shut the bedroom door.
“Paige just accused me of foisting my bastard off on you as your daughter.” She looked at Jared
. “Is that what you think?”
“You should know better than to even ask such a question.” His terse, emphatic words were reassuring. The glare he levelled at Paige made her shrink. “How did you reach that conclusion?”
“Mum said that’s why Winsome left here.” Paige’s words tumbled over each other, and, seeing Jared’s expression, Winsome understood her haste.
“Did she now?” Jared grew quieter the angrier he was. That had never changed. “We’ll see about that. Come with me.”
Winsome walked beside him, her feet bare but her head held high. As they walked into the lounge Gaelen paled and Quentin lifted a questioning eyebrow.
“What right have you to tell Paige that Lacey isn’t my child, Mother?” Jared asked, cutting to the chase. “She’s my daughter and her paternity has never been in doubt.”
Gaelen paled further but, rising to her feet, gave her son a haughty look. “If you’ve known that, why haven’t you seen the child before today?”
“That’s something that concerns only Winsome and me,” he said so softly Winsome was truly afraid. “Don’t ever let me hear a whisper of such shameful scandal.”
Gaelen stared at Jared, eyes wide with shock.
Winsome almost succumbed to nervous, hysterical laughter. Had Gaelen never seen Jared angry?
Quentin stood up and one glance was enough to set Winsome’s heart thundering. He was every bit as angry as Jared but only those who knew him as well as she did, would realise it.
“It seems some things never change,” he drawled softly, his expression so bland everyone should have been on their guard. “How could any child of Winsome’s not be Jared’s, Mother? After all it was you who always called her Jared’s little whore.”
“I beg your pardon?” Jared hissed through clenched teeth. “What did you say?”
“Didn’t you know?” Quentin’s asked in pseudo innocence. “Let me see if I can remember a few of Mother’s choicer descriptions of your wife—”
Winsome swallowed convulsively giving Quentin a stricken look. Even after this length of time she felt sickened remembering Gaelen’s insults.
“You’re lying.” Gaelen bristled, full of wounded outrage.